Hay im Snake and i rule the universe along with my friend Noofle

NAME: Snake

AGE: BOUT 3 TRILION MILLION MILLENIUMS OLD (may be older)

GENDER: FEMALE (DIDN'T SHE THAT COMEN DID YA)

HAIR: EXTREMLY DARK BROWN (IT LOOKS BLACK) WITH RED STREAKS AND FOILS

EYES: BLUE GREY

Every one if you like doctor who read my friend noofle's stories her character brittany is based on me to so yeah read her stories

IF ANY ONE HAS IDEAS FOR STORIES I CAN WRITE OR ONES THAT IM WRITING NOW PLZ TELL

Sirius Black

Escaped Azkaban..

Evaded the Dementors..

Outwitted the Ministry..

Killed by a drapery

(The only reason I put this in my profile is because I want to show everyone how some stupid, idiotic person made fun of Sirius! How dare they!If you want to help me kill them, copy & paste this into your profile)

When life give you lemons throw the lemon back at it and demand CHOCOLATE!!

When people say life isnt fair, say 'Yeah so was J.K Rowling when she killed off Sirius but you dont see ME complaining!!' if they keep complaining about life complain about J.K.Rowling killing of Sirius.

When people ask if you suffer from insanity say 'No I enjoy EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT!!(underbreath)idiots'

If people ask why you are obsessed with Harry Potter say 'Well lets see, 1. It's one of the best-selling novels 2. I have a BRAIN and 3. Its the hot stuff right NOW!!'

If ask what does the second reason on the above answer has do with anything answer 'Every person with a BRAIN likes/loves/obsessed with Harry Potter (If they dont like HP continue with this end of speech)DUH!! Obviously you're lacking one!!'

The sorting hat says that I belong in Slytherinr!

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest."

Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort.

Take the most scientific Harry Potter
Quiz ever created.

Get Sorted Now!

PLZ TELL ME THAT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS DONE ALL THE THING LISTED BELOW PLZ

IF YOU HAVE DONE THEM ALL PLZ TELL I WOULD LOVE TO NOW IM NOT THE ONLY TRUELY INSANE PERSON ON THIS EARTH

Geeks are smart. Geeks are cool. Geeks make up over 70 percent of the Universe's populace, or this one's, anyway. So geeks overpower all the rich and popular people, anyway. If you are a geek and proud of it, put this on your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you are a girl and you don't wear make-up, or if you are a guy and you do, paste this in your profile because you rock.

If you don't care what other people think about you or your clothes, about how much money you have, or about how pretty you are, paste this in your profile.

If you are Doctor Who/Torchwood obsessed, copy this into your profile.

If you can easily finish a novel in one day, put this on your profile!

If you ever actually read these things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

If whenever you see or hear the name Edward, you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, C&P this into your pro.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight it is NOT even funny anymore, C&P

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your pro

If people think you are mentally insane...copy this into your profile

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate realationship with your computer, C&P

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P!

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you think those kids should just give the stupid Trix Rabbit some friggin' cereal put this in your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you believe teenagers are stereotyped, put this on your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! If you enjoy being insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said 'pull' or the other way around, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P

If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a brdge, I laugh harder and call out before you die, "WAIT, CAN I HAVE YOUR iPOD?!.

It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

If you are called 'weird' at least five times a day, post this into your profile.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird. If you DISAGREE completely with this statement and find it happening on a regular basis, copy ans paste this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, C&P

If you have ever run into a tree, C&P

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste

People sya that people kill people, not that guns kill people. But I don't think it would work if you stood in front of a person and said "BANG!" and they die.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area, put this in your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "Man! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile.

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..."

A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, smart one?"

A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, INSERT NAME HERE, RUN!"

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (I do this often!)

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile. (I think that's quite obvious!!)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. (I do all this AND MORE!!)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (It'll happen any day now tho!)

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Do you think the Trix cereal kids should just suck up their pride, and give the rabbit some Trix?

If you're one of those who paint your dad's finger nails hot pink when he's sleeping, or tell your older sister you don't know where her I-pod went...copy this into profile.

If you've ever asked a really obvious, stupid question, copy and paste this into your profile.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile(yes well ...umm...i forgot.)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you seriously want to be a vampire copy this into your profile.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends,relationsips,etc. post this onto your profile.(That's right, i'm half a person!!)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this to your profile! (on my bike too...but it's okay, i know the tree...she's my friend, her name is emily)

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

I have the kind of friends that if my house waz burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen

Sometimes I wonder, 'Why iz that frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me

Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

I've built a wall, not to block people out but to see who loves me enough to climb over it

"The woman came from the man's ribs. Not his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected and near the heart to be loved." If you agree that men and women should have equal rights in EVERYTHING, put this on your profile.

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile (you think that's long? I've laughed for at least an hour straight...not kidding...i've got some pretty crazy friends, once i've started laughing they won't let me stop)

If you have pushed a door that said pull copy and paste on ur page.

If you've run into a door copy and paste onto page.

If you don't like doors copy and paste onto page.

If you don't know why I'm still talking about doors copy and paste onto page.

If you are standing in front of a door and banging your head because I wont shut up about doors copy and paste onto page.

i got this off of wingedvamp1107's (Profile. I thought it was funny

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.heyy

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

if you have ever walked into a wall before copy this

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.(i shouldn't put this on here cause i am dead -deaths-master)

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Lord Loss by Darren Shan

Lord Loss sows all the sorrows of the world

Lord Loss seeds the grief-starched trees

In the center of the web, lowly Lord Loss bows his head

Mangled hands, naked eyes

Fanged snakes, his soul line

Curled inside like textured sin

Bloody, curdled sheets for skin

In the center of the web, vile Lord Loss torments the dead

Over the strands of red, Lord Loss crawls

Dispensing pain, despising all

Shuns friends, nurtures foes

Ravages hope, breeds woe

Drinks moons, devours suns

Twirls his thumbs till the reaper comes

In the center of the web, lush Lord Loss is all that is

How good is it to be Australian…

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgium beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American show on a Japanese TV.

Only in Australia…can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia…do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia…do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia…do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Australia…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia…do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia…are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth

A massive 54 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth

AND Finally...

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up onto the toilet

IF YOU'RE PROUD TO BE AUSTRALIAN SEND THIS ON!

THANKS

-SMILE-

DEATHS_MASTER

BOOKS: Harry Potter, The Saga of Darren Shan, The Demonta, Twilight, Farie Tale, Axis Triolgogy (And all the books that come after it), The Vampire Chronicles, and a whole bunch of other stuff mainly bout VAMPIRES AND DEMONDS i usally dont have time to write but i will try and update my stories as fast as i can

!!VAMPIRES/VAMPYRES RULE!!

A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway; the officer came to the driver’s window and said, "Sir, may I see your driver’s license and registration?" The man said, "Well officer I don't have a license, it was taken away for a DUI." The officer, in surprise, said," What, do you have a registration for the vehicle?" So the man replied, "No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it." The officer stepped back, "There is a gun in the glove box?!" The man sighed and said, "Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk." The officer steps toward the back of the car and says," Sir do not move, I am calling for backup." The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway patrolman arrives. He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver’s license and registration. The man said," Yes officer here it right here." It all checked out so the officer said," Is there a gun in the glove box sir?" The man laughs and says," No officer why would there be a gun in the glove box." He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun. The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk, no dead body. The second officer says, "Sir I do not understand, the officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk." The man looks the officer in the eyes and says, "Yeah and I'll bet he said I was speeding too."

Twilight Obsession
Things a Twilight Obsessed does:

1.-You hear/ see the characters in your head
2.-You know vampires exist, aren’t ashamed of it and wish you were one
3.-You use quotes from the books in your everyday speech
4.-You memorized parts of the book and mutter them constantly to yourself
5.-You want to visit/live in Forks
6.-A love song comes up on the radio and you immediately relate it to Twilight
7.-You add said song to your I-pod under the Twilight Play list
8.-You dream about the book
9.-You sleep with the books cradled in your arms
10.-You no longer pay attention to your non-Twilight friends
11.-Your Twilight friends and you wish each other goodnight saying “Dream of Edward”
12.-Your sweetheart and you call each other ‘Edward’ and ‘Bella’
13.-You no longer say OMG. You say OMCarlisle, OMEdward or OMVampire
14.-You added ‘Cullen’, ‘Volturi’ and ‘Quileute’ to your computer’s dictionary
15.-You are seriously considering naming your kid after a character
16.-You organize “vampire speed races” and the last one is “a filthy werewolf”
17.-You hear the name ‘Edward’ and you turn around, screaming “WHERE?!”
18.-You hear thunder and say “Home run, Emmett”
19.-You still cry at the sad parts, laugh at the funny ones and sigh at the romantic ones even though you’ve read them a thousand times
20.-People confuse you with a vampire, not because you’re pale or beautiful but because of the shadows under your eyes (you spent all night up rereading the books)
21.-You tell jokes about Twilight although you know no one will understand you
22.-You read the part where Edward leaves Bella and cry your eyes out
23.-Then you think, “Better. With Bella gone, Edward is mine”
24.-When someone asks you how your food is, you say “Well, it’s no irritable grizzly…”
25.-When it’s dusk outside, you mutter “Twilight again. The safest part of the day for us…”
26.-Apples, Tulips, Red Ribbons and Chess are your new favorite fruit, flower, accessory and game.
27.-You photo-shopped your own photo so you look like a vampire
28.-You see a Volvo and squeal with delight.
29.-You match your friends to the character they remind you of (ditto with actors, singers, random people on the street, etc) and call them that name.
30.-You open the book and know exactly where you are by reading two or three words
31.-When someone mentions how scary something was, you scoff and say “James and Victoria are scarier”
32.-You believe that previous vampire myths (garlic, wooden stakes, bat wings) are stupid and obsolete
33.-You spend all day speaking about Twilight, and people tell you to shut up
34.-You want to buy a Volvo/Jeep/Porsche, etc.
35.-You see a bite on somebody’s hand (even if it was their dog) and immediately think, “James…”
36.-You see a forest and shiver thinking HE might be hunting in there
37.-Although you know it won’t be anything like you imagined it, you’ll still camp outside the cinema on December 11
38.-You preordered your copy of Breaking Dawn and count down the days.
39.-You and your Twilight friends have bets on what will happen on Breaking Dawn
40.-You go to the zoo and think: “Hmmm. Buffet”
41.-You are laughing and nodding as you read this

In a world of nonsense, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be won’t, and everything it would be, was.

Do they know that I know that they know that I know what I wasn't supposed to know, or not?

Smile... it confuses people.

Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it...

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

"I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers."

"Insanity is my only means of relaxation."

"I used to care, but I take a pill for that now..."

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

My favorite word is sarcasm

I've got ADHD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?”

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you could read this copy and paste it into your profile!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can’t.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family etc. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile. (WHAT!!)

If your obsessed with fan fiction, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

If you don't understand the joke, don't ask. Laugh with the grouop and Google it later.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a constant enemy, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever quoted Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw New Moon at the wall when Jane used her power on Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

On Randomness (like all the above hasn't been random...) :

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I’m just random! If you’re random and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Music is love in search of word.

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

"Everything in this room, everything you see is eatable. Even I myself am eatable--except that is called cannibalism, children, and it is frowned upon in most societies."

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

A day without light is, well, night

"The dinosaurs’ extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

Palm reader: "-gasp- You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

"I can resist anything but temptation."

"All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand."

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile!

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I ADDED ALL THIS IN A BORING FIT!! IF YOU DO TO, COPY PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!

OMG! This little bunny is sooooo cute :) I named him...Joey!

Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side.

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6. Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7. As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9. And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

Fav Quotes:

"Goodbye Jacob, my brother...my son."
-- Edward Cullen

"What do you call a blonde with a brain?A Golden Retriever"
-- Jacob Black

"Early marraige was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies"
-- Bella Swan, about Renee

"I'll stop by your crypt after school."
-- Jacob Black

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" (Twilight, page 92.)

"I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." (Twilight, page 87.)

"It makes me ... anxious ... to be away from you." (Twilight, page 188.)"For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind, and yours ... all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet." (Twilight, page 304.)

"I may not be human, but I am a man." (Twilight, page 311.)

"You are my life now." (Twilight, page 314.)

"You inspired this one." (Twilight, page 326.)

"You have saved me." (Twilight, page 474.)

"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose." (Twilight, page 474.)

"Yes, it is enough. Enough for forever." (Twilight, page 498.)

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." (New Moon, page 19.)

"Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist." (New Moon, page 509.)

"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" (New Moon, page 510.)

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept--as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you" (New Moon, page 510.)

"I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy." (New Moon, page 510.)

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason ... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." (Edward Cullen, New Moon, page 514.)

"It was like my heart was gone--like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you." (Edward Cullen, New Moon, page 515.)

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that." (Edward Cullen, New Moon, page 524.)

"You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke." (Edward Cullen)

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Can't catch me!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit!

i got this off noofles profile who Nabbed off of Time Lady 802379's profile.

Notes to Self...

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianoist".

29.People are staring at you.

30.So act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40.You know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. O~O

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

52.You cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

71.Eat the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81.Do not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,"Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

click here or i will eat your brains mwha ha ha

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