Groucho Marx-

"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it"- Duck Soup

"Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail out of it." - Duck Soup

"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know." - Animal Crackers

"PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER" - Telegram to the Friar's Club of Beverly Hills to which he belonged

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"I intend to live forever, or die trying"

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'd be glad to make an exception"

"I'm in need of a doctor, ring the nearest golf course!"

"Those are my principals, if you don't like them...well I've got others."

"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted"