The following is a fan-based parody. Or rather an anti-fan-based parody. Read at your own risk and keep a bottle of brain bleach nearby just in case.

Sincerely, The Management

OMG!1!1! I am on fanfiction net! like, this is m=y favorate websit EVA! here are some ttly kool things aboot me (like a Canadian ha ha) that im sure u'll like!

Hi! I'm Zythera Komoto I really, really, really love Blommie!

He is like, the totally hottest thing eva! OMG1!1 U know u MUST agree wit me! I right storys about Bloomie, Deepie, and many hot guyz.

Ethnicitys: Part Shedu, Empusa, Hoji, katsume, dragon, Phoenix, and kick a_ Samari. In reality of course, I'm everything. I just tinnk everyone of all races should just learn how to get along. therefore I am black, chinese, japanese, Indian, and mexican.

hair: I have the best hair EVA! it is a black hair, jet black, with little gold streaks! i am ttly all bubbly! dont i soound DAAAAARling? My eyes are jade blue with little ruby sparkles all in the iris and stuff. thye also have a thin silver circumferance (ooooo...aliteration, me SMAAAAArt!) out lining the irises. Really Kool! I'm just ttly dreamy!

personility: im gothic. ttly. angry all the time an not a poser. no, no way.. i like, drink blood and stuff. and i shop at hot topic A LOT! like, i love black! next to pink, of course. im also a emo at heart. i cry alot and complain and stuff. no one gets me and i just need to have time alon sometimes, u know? i have writn at least 100 suicide notes by now. i also LOVE hot boyz and stuff. i like to go to partys and drink, and be all floosie like cause that is sooooo KOOL! i have sooooo many friends just like me!

some borin' basic stuff

age: SWEEEEEET sixteen!

blood type: AB

sex: YES PLEASE! and I'm a giriie.

Weight: 90 pounds!

Height: 6 ft

I AM NOT STARVING MYSELF TO DEATH! guys just dont like girlz who eat

boyfriend: MANY!

Hobbies: resisting eating

being flirtty

loving

talking

righting

singing

walking

smiling

trying

succeding

throw uping

u know whating

STORIES: All have to bo with thing/peoples and there troules. Really touching and true. and all about bloomie! but im no one trick pony friend, i also really like Yo Yo Hockey show, or what ever. That Heyyay gut is sooooo hot! OMG! I LOVE anime and suff! everyone is so hot!11! I am sooooo popular!11! Everyone loves me, baby! Man, I better get back to righting those AWEsome storys!

oh, btw, my name, Zythera is not based on the kool sounding nam Zythura. and my other nam, Komoto, is not on te weird lizard dragon that eats children! i just saw somebody use it as an alien and i like it.