I want to take this time to write my feelings out. I am 23 right now in 2015. I have had a Bachelor's degree in Business Management since last year and I haven't been able to get anything with it, so I am going back to school in a couple weeks to try IT Networking. I know I haven't written anything in several years, but I am still very actively on here reading ZeLink romance fanfiction, even if I don't always login.

Yes, it is kind of embarrassing. I'm a single, 23 yr-old male that spent wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much time playing video games and running every day and not enough time on actual career goals or ever starting a relationship beyond a few dates in college. I come back to this site again and again and scour the pages for romantic moments in these young authors' stories (many seem to be so young that they must have been born when Ocarina of Time came out, but I digress). I live for this. It really makes me happy, my heart melts, and my eyes water. I picture myself as this Link (as long as he doesn't come off too snobby in the stories) that is always trying to win Zelda's heart or being comforted by her presence. I relish in the moments where authors write things like "his rugged arms caressed her smooth body as he wrapped themselves in the blanket and nuzzled her neck". What I do then is I find enough moments in these stories. I constantly click in and out of each and every recent addition to the romance genre, looking for comfort and romance and snuggling. I get enough of these good moments in my head until it gives my heart a real heavy pounding. Then the tears start coming as I think about how much I long for this myself and they pour out of my eye sockets like rivers. I spend some sleepless nights every month doing this to myself until 2 in the morning. Before I go to sleep, I make sure I have enough of these romantic emotions pounding in my heart as I wrap my arms and legs around a pillow and cry myself to sleep. I think of a mystery woman. Someone who I can share anything I want to with. Someone who I can kiss and caress all I want and who will be enamored with all the attention I am giving her. Then I fall asleep.

I long to be in moments like these, even though I know it is too late for me. Although to be honest, I don't think I ever had a chance. I can never really think of enough interesting things to say to a woman for her to want to keep talking to me beyond "how was your day?" I am just awful, and I hate it. But it is me. I am who I am. If that means I will go through life 100 years old and never having a kiss, then so be it. At least I'll have these wonderful stories to pretend. And to be truly honest, sometimes pretend is better than reality.