Hello to all my loyal fans! I have fantastic news! I am now the proud owner of the wonder that is Internet! This will hopefully mean that my fics can be updated fast. Of coarse this will be after I hunt down my notebooks from the supposedly trustworthy people that were supposed to post them... Still things are starting to progress and remember I always welcome reviews, it reminds me that people actually care.

This is a list I got out of the Hilarious story You Did What! by nonjon. You Should really check out!

Hufflepuff for Life
We Are the Dark Gods and WE RULE OVER ALL!

1). There is no good and evil, there is only power... and those too weak to seek it.

2). There is no good and evil! There is only power! And those too weak to seek it!

3). Live fast, die young, and leave a mutilated unidentifiable corpse behind. And then, when no one's paying attention, assume the previous life of that corpse. Repeat as necessary.

4). Wizard, Witch, Pureblood, Halfblood, Muggleborn, Squib, Muggle. None of it matters, as inside they are all the same: five liters of blood and an infinite number of ways to spill it. Except for babies. They don't have quite as much blood.

5). Tattoos are for pussies and Death Eaters. Real men carve art into their flesh with knives, not needles, ink, or magic.

6). The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled wasn't convincing the world she didn't exist. It was convincing her researchers, her grunt workers, and her scapegoats that she cared. And that they mattered. She even convinced most of them that they were more important than her. So she gave them qualities, characteristics, jobs, and duties. She renamed them Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, and Slytherins. You tell a man, he is sly and cunning and he finds it hard to disagree. No matter that expressly advertising that you are sly and cunning is just about the least sly or cunning thing you can do. If he is not a Hufflepuff, he will know no better. He will believe himself sly and cunning. Or he will believe himself intelligent and clever. Or he will believe himself brave and courageous. It is your job to make him believe that! Ravenclaws plan your strategies, Gryffindors fight your battles, Slytherins take your blame. And only behind the curtain, have the Hufflepuffs now and forever reigned supreme.

7). Three can keep a secret if two are dead. And thus, out of necessity, was born the rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor.

8). Men will wrong you, or wrong the true ideals of a 'puffer. When a man does, see if he expresses remorse. If he does, tell him you accept his apology. Nurse his wounds, become his friend, and help him to become healthy. Then as he turns his back to you to leave, slit his throat. If the man doesn't express remorse, then kill his mother, kill his sister, kill his wife, kill his daughter, and rape his dog. Grant only the mercy of death to those who are remorseful. And give only pain to those who are not. No one fucks with a 'puff.

20 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie

7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

Σ is not and E its a capital sigma!! so GRΣΣK really means grssk plus the g and r dont look like that in greek so it would be ssk

religon just makes things more complicated than they should be

The past always seems longer than the present and the future is eternally long.

rukia is in ichigo's closet... doesn't that imply something?

toshiro and momo are more like sister and brother since the way toshiro corrects momo is more like rubbing her face in his captain ship it seems like he finds her annoying with her insistance on calling him shiro-chan but he still loves her like a younger sister even though shes older.

when a serial killer breaks into your house you shouldn't freak out and go all horror movie victim. instead you should try to out physco the psycotic killer and do something like take a knife from the kitchen put on creepy music put on your most fancy formal dress take a chair drag it to the middle of the room and when the killer comes tilt your head to the side, smile and say ive been waiting for you then while he\she is trying to process the information do a girly giggle that turns into a full out maniacal laugh. and if your a guy... well it would work even better. or you could do broadway show tunes and dance like the rockettes. warning this theory has never been tested so i suggest not trying it unless you have no other chance at living. and if you do happen to live through it please pm me.

both the lieutenant and the captian of the tenth division are very gravity defiant like toshiros hair and bankai and matsumotos breasts and shikai

the kikyo/kagome/inuyasha love triangle is really messed up, kagome is competing against her clay zombie self for the love of inuyasha whos litterally a dog, has any one ever picked that up?

My favourite colors are black and white, because they are the most interesting colors. Both are not really considered colors, neither can be found in a rainbow and one is the combination of all colors and the other is the lack of all colors. All animals can see black and white (except blind animals. but that's not the point) but a few such as cats and dogs can't see other colors.

there is absolutely no use for the pinky, the letter c and the letter q, earlobes, and a second nostril.

For me a little joke goes a long way. as in I'll be laughing at a joke for weeks at random intrevals. I think this is due to the millions of completely unrelated and random thoughts passing through my head at like a million thoughts per second, most pass by too quickly to be properly processed which explains why I can't remember stuff when I need to. Crap, I just lost the game.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE.(my signature often looks like i horridly misspelled my name since I sort of fuse the t and the h together and the e and a)

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique which is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (I look all nice and shy on the outside but on the inside I'm plotting murders... not that i'd ever gather the guts to actually do it)

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you have been on the computer for hours on end reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to this list: Danyan,Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, ChOpStIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, Satsuki-kun, hichigomate,happygirl24, hollowzangetsu, 2!v3 2!f3, Renroh5

You'd rather search all over the house for the remote than just push the button on the tv.(My tv doent have a button)

If you talk to yourself, copy this to your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this to your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped UP the stairs, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said anything that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile