User Name: Humanitiesdownfall

Facebook: Humanities Downfall

Deviantart: Frezzeca

Tumbler: Humanitiesdownfall

Gender: Agender

Age: 22

Song of The Week: POP/STARS - K/DA

YouTube Video to Watch: K/DA - POP/STARS (ft Madison Beer, (G)I-DLE, Jaira Burns) Official Music Video - League of Legends

Favorite Anime/Manga/Books/Movies/Excetra...: Black Butler, Naruto, Hetalia, Bleach, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Darkest Powers, Mortal Instruments, Maximum Ride, Beelzebub, Soul Eater, Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple, Death Note, Alex Rider, Gone, Hellsing, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Rise Of The Guardians, Danny Phantom, and Hellsing: The Dawn, Good Omens, Ao No Exorcist, Detective Conan, Magic Kaito 1412, Lupin the Third, Blood Blockade Battlefront, Darker Than Black, Tokyo Ghoul, Gangster, Servamp, Dude That's My Ghost!, Dresden Files, Jurassic Park, Ajin, Senyuu, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Kaito Joker, Gintama, D. Gray-man, Seven Deadly Sins, InuYasha, Durarara, Sword Art Online, Gravity Falls, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Supernatural, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Kill la Kill, Abridged Series'.

Favorite Pairings:

HidanxSakura, SuigetsuxSakura, SasorixSakura, DedaraxIno, KisamexSakura, Pain/PeinxSakura, IchigoxHichigo, UlquiorraxOrohimi, PrussiaxCanada, RussiaxAmerica, GirikoxMaka, AshuraxMaka, KidxMaka, Barty Crouch Jr.xHarry, DracoxHarry, DracexHermione, Tom RiddlexHarry, LucyxCobra, PitchxJack, ClockworkxDanny, DanxDanny, Ghost WriterxDanny, Kaito KID/KaitoxConan/Shinichi, KlausxLeo, StevenxLeo, Sleepy AshxMahiro, TsukiyamaxKaneki, TsunaxAll, LavixAllen, TikixAllen, Bill CipherxDipper, SpencerxBilly

Favorite Quotes:

"When life gives u lemons... squirt the juice into little kids eyes!!! mwahahahahahaa!!!!!" Meghan Leithead

"Can't spell slaughter without laughter!" Julian Sass

"Cheaters may never prosper, but they still win! mwahahahahaa!!!!!!" Meghan Leithead

Jackie "Im taking this mega painkiller! Its the ketchup to my fries the cheese to my burger. . . " Meghan "So baiscally it's Aspirin on Steroids..."

Duct Tape is like the force. It's got a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together! :) Anonymous

Don't worry the world cant end today, its already tomorrow in Australia! :) Mylikes.us

Throwing things at your ceiling fan and watching them fly across the room. :) Mylikes.com

"Excuse me"... *louder* "Excuse me" "EXCUSE ME!"...*sigh* "MOVEEEEEE" Mylikes.us

You hear something downstairs when your home alone.. its obviously a murderer.. Mylikes.us

Yelling "I'M VIBRATING!" When you get a text. Mylikes.us

3 am phone call.."hey are you asleep??" ..."No I'm Skydiving".. Mylikes.us

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know... Mylikes.us

That urge you get to write "no one gives a shit" on someone's status. Mylikes.us

You get a mini heart-attack when someone says '' CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING ? '' Mylikes.us

I am not weird, I'm a limited edition! Mylikes.us

"I failed!" "Me too!!" "HIGH FIVE!" Mylikes.us

I am not a morning person. Do not pull the covers off me. I.WILL.KILL.YOU! Mylikes.us

The look on the Teachers' face when you answer a question, and they thought you weren't listening. Mylikes.us

"Is that your ex?" "No, that's the biggest mistake of my life." Mylikes.us

I don't regret the things I've done, I regret the things I didn't do when I had the chance. Mylikes.us

"Did I ask you?" "No..." "Then Shut Up." Mylikes.us

I wish I could Google anything. I'd search "WHERE THE HELL IS MY IPOD?" and it would be like "UNDER THE COUCH YOU DUMBASS!" Mylikes.us

Sshhh they're arguing i wanna listen... Mylikes.us

Mommy , Mommy , Mommy , Mum , Mum , Mum , Mom , Mom , Mom , Ma , Ma , Mama , Mama . WHAT ! Hi heheheheh. Mylikes.us

I stay up late every night, and realize its a bad idea every morning. Mylikes.us

"I gotta jar of dirt! I gotta jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" Jack Sparrow from Pirates 2

"I hate mummies! They never play fair!" Johnathon from The Mummy Tomb/dragon Emperor

"I'm no ordinary pervert! I'm a MEGA PERV!" Jiraiya from Naruto

"Rescue her? How many of you are here? Seven? Maybe eight?" "Five humans and a cat." Ikkaku and Ichigo from Bleach

"The name is Ichigo. I'm the one who's gonna beat your ass. How's it goin'?" Ichigo from Bleach

"Under my mask is...another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" -Kakashi from Naruto

“Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.” Anonymous

“If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry and if you jump out of the window, I will laugh.” Anonymous

“I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.” Anonymous

"Follow the spiders? Follow the spiders?! If Hagred ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!" Ron from Harry Potter CoS

"What's he doing?!" "I think he's singing..." "Yeah, I once heard an animal make that sound, but when they rolled him over he was dead." Three Amigos from Happy Feet

"IS THAT A STUDENT?!" "Technically... it's a ferret." Mad-eye and Mcgonagall from Harry Potter GoF

"Why couldn't it be follow the butterflies?" Ron from Harry Potter CoS

"When you are surrounded by idiots just remember that murder is illegal and sarcasm is much more satisfying" Anonymous

"No I won’t go to hell! I’ve got a restraining order..." Anonymous

"Heaven doesn’t want me and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over" Anonymous

ALL HAIL DEIDARA-SAMA MAY HE REST IN PEACE!!!

IF YOU THINK THAT SASUKE IS AN ASSHOLE

FOR KILLING HIM COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE!!!

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

This Naruto commercial is awesome! I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RXAjInjyj4

Is it just me or is Gaara really hot? If you think he is copy this and put it into your profile and add your name to the list. UNITE GAARA LOVERS!! GaaraandAikoforever, LoveShinobi4eva, Silver Element,BlueSkyHeIs, aven, Ketsueki Senshoku, Gaara's Pyro RACCOON, Gaarasminestayaway, .Faking.This.Smile, Lilly, Jay Jay, StormofSilver, inspired122, Kasumi18, Rawr I'm Gonna Eat You, Missyserena214, GaaraIno4ever, sasukerules.org,animeprincess619, Whats2Live4, Shad-Amy, RoseHathaway, bellacullen3, PeinSaku, Humanitiesdownfall

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx,uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan,Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai,Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise, XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em' , SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, Could-careless, NejiSakuFan, xXHyuugaSakuraXx, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy,bellacullen3, PeinSaku, Humanitiesdownfall

THE WE LOVE SASUKE-BASHING CLUB: If you hate Sasuke from NARUTO and love making him suffer, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Kinomi-chan, EstherAngelofDeath, GaaSakuforever, Flyflew, XxMadara's-Little-StalkerxX, xXFallenSakuraXx, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3, PeinSaku, Humaitiesdownfall

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl, Foxfeather1337,Sadistic-Bitch, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3, PeinSaku, Humanitiesdownfall

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whats so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl,Foxfeather1337,Saditic-Bitch, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3, PeinSaku, Humanitiesdownfall

If you hate Karin from NARUTO copy and paste these Karin bashings:

Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it!
Karin is so fat, not even the byakugan can see through her.
Karin is so fat, she made fun of Chouji for being skin and bones
Karin is so fat, Tazuna considered using her as the bridge to the mainland.
Karin is so fat, that when Lee was doing her, he gave up.
Karin is so stupid, she couldn't find any of the "hidden" villages.
Karin is so stupid, she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates.
Karin is so old, Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot.
Karin is so ugly, ANBU thought she was in the second level of the curse mark, and kicked her butt.
Karin is so ugly, even Sasuke couldn't ignore it.
Karin is so ugly, Itachi felt like his eyesight was diminishing when he saw her.
Karin is so ugly, it's forbidden just to transform into her
Karin is so ugly, Juugo's curse seal made him run for his life.
Karin is so ugly, the Nine-tails fled in fear.
Karin is so ugly, she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again when he saw her.
Karin is so ugly, They made her join ANBU just so they can put a mask on her
Karin is so ugly, when she passed by Hinata, Hinata yelled 'dayummmmm!'

I think that Karin needs to die. Soon.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask if you're alright.
REAL FRIENDS: Run away screaming: "GET OUT OF THE WAY! SHE'S PISSED!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate your older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot".

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

A true friend sees the 1st tear, catches the 2nd, and bitchslaps the mothafucker that causes the 3rd.

Call me what you want; I really don't care. But if you insult my friends...see here, buddy, let's take a walk. Let me give you a little hint: call the police you stupid little shit, 'cause there's about to be a murder.

I pray for wisdom to understand him, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because if I pray for strength, I'll just beat the shit out of him.

You're my best friend in the whole world. I would do anything for you. And since I know you would want me to stay safe, I'll trip you if zombies start chasing us.

I only seem like a smart-ass 'cause I'm surrounded by dumb-asses.

Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine.

Note to self: It is illegal - repeat, illegal - to stab stupid people.

Welcome to Hollister. Would you like earplugs, a gas mask, or a flashlight?

If your problem can't be solved with duct tape or Tylenol, then you're seriously fucked.

Trust no man, fear no bitch.

Hating me won't make you pretty.

Don't underestimate me, pal. See this smile? It's not really a smile. It's a distraction so I can punch you in the face.

MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?

May God have mercy on my enemies, 'cause I sure as hell won't.

It's a beautiful day... now watch some asshole fuck it up.

I swear, officer. I didn't punch her; I just high-fived her face.

Didn't give a fuck yesterday, don't give a fuck today, probably won't give a fuck tomorrow.

He who laughs last didn't get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.

Most women say that men should have to suffer through periods like us; not me. If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.

Therapy pays off later; screaming obscenities and beating the shit out of people pays off now.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

-/\_/\-
( 0 0 )

...／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ヽ
じしf, )ノ

These kittens look so kawai, ne? What about this one:

-/\_/\-
/ x # \
\...-.../

Kittens don't look right when they're beat up and have black eyes. Help stop animal abuse.

Pick the ones that fit you (italicized and bold= stuff for me)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm FAT so I MUST smuggle chips into my classes.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I have EMO FRIENDS so I MUST be emo as well.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm a BRUNETTE WITH BLOND HIGHLIGHTS so I MUST be a wanna-be.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I must have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid and stuck-up.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big dick.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a big butt.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent.

I'm a FEMALE VIDEO GAMER, so I MUST be ugly...or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be a nerd that does homework 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I MUST be fucked up.

I'm AMERICAN so I MUST be plotting to take over the world.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe Jesus Wuz A Brotha.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I love SHOPPING, so I MUST be rich.

I hate SHOPPING so I MUST be a freak.

I'm an OG so I MUST be mexican.

I like ROCK MUSIC so I MUST be a druggie.

I play CHESS so I MUST be a nerd.

I have a LOT OF FRIENDS so I MUST be bribing them with sex.

I have a FEW FRIENDS so I MUST be a freak.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

HOW TO DEAL WITH A GRUE:

-Die.
-Scream and die.
-Scream, struggle, and die.
-Scream, struggle, shit yourself, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, look at a picture of Michael Jackson, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, listen to any emo song, look at a picture of Michael Jackson, and die.
-Recite every line of Moby Dick in Italian. Grues love the Italian language, so it will subdue them for awhile. Of course when you are done reading, the grue will still eat you.
-Sing one of Michael Bolton's classic songs. Grues hate Michael Bolton. Of course they will still eat you, but you can have the satisfaction of having irritated a grue.
-Drink a glass of milk; 2.6 of grue are lactose intolerant, safe in the knowlege that the Grue will get diarrhea when it finally gets round to eating you, which is very quickly.
-Use extreme sarcasm.
-Build a sandcastle. It won't help at all, and you will be eaten, but it is a fun activity.
-Cast Frotz. This only works for wizards, enchanters, and other magically-enabled people.
-DON'T WANDER AROUND IN THE DARK, YOU MORON! Alternatively, light your torch.
-It is a little known fact that Grues like hearing haikus. Therefore reciting a haiku to a grue will extend your life by 17 syllables.
-Wrap a towel around your head. Although the grue will still eat you, it will make the postprandial cleanup easier. Plus, if you have telepathy you will be able to see the grue while it eats you.
-Yell for your mum over and over again until you die.
-Strip naked and perform an ancient Mayan rain dance, and pray that the rain distracts the grue.
-Call for a republican, and die.
-Continually masturbate. That's right. Day in, day out. It'll work, so long as there are kittens in the world.
-Summon Chuck Norris. This is not a very effective method though, because Chuck Norris is likely to wait until you are eaten so that he will get a show, and a kill.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the heck I managed it

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, everything just sucks

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek...nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

If genius is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.

It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.

It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.

If you can't get the skeletons out of your closet, you'd better teach them to dance.

Stupid is just a 5 letter word.

Don't ask me to think inside my head, because I lost my inside voice.

Friends are like condoms, they protect each other when things get hard.

No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

If UFO's are supposed to be so intelligent, then why have they abducted humans?

Anyone who says "As easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

If voting could change anything, it would be illegal.

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. That that is is not that that is not, and that that is not is not that that is.

If you got a problem, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

Work is blackmail for survival.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth without first giving him a Certs.

Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.

Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.

When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.

Fun flies when you're doing time.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injection?

You are now entering a school free drug zone. Thank you for pot smoking.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when u laugh uncontrollable at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of your favorite anime.Crazy is when your so obsessed with Naruto that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he will come out. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when your crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during random moment . crazy is when you lick the cat for no reason. Crazy is when you are hyper at three AM and no sugar is involved. Crazy is when you tell someone the voice in your head is telling you to kill someone. Crazy is listening to the voice in your head when its telling you to kill someone. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

. . . Furbies

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future

Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Pass this on if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you're a certified Sociopath, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a die hard yaoi fangirl/fanboy, then hurry up and copy this to your profile!

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001,HeartOfAgony,sorceress-of-faith, Ribbon-chan03, MyObsessionIsGaara, kage kui, NejiTenfanforever, 9shadowcat9, Akatsuki wolves6, Humanitiesdownfall,

What makes life 100 percent?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and:
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

Be optimistic. :) The people you hate will eventually die.

What happens if you get scared half to death... Twice?

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Life is like a Pack of Gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Can I take your picture? I collect photos of Natural Disasters.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

I'm PMSing and have a gun, you want to continue your sentence?!

It takes 47 muscles to frown, and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

How important does a person have to be before a person is considered assassinated instead of murdered?

We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at showing it.

If you can't beat them... Arrange to have them beaten...

Yo mumma is so fat, even Naruto don't Believe it! (Yeah, it sucks, it's terrible in fact, but I lol'ed the first time I heard it in a parody on YouTube)

When I said "I'd hit that!" ... I meant with my car...

When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "You had to be there" type of thing... It's more of a "You have to be Mentally Retarded like us" type of thing...

I'm NOT a stalker... I simply admire from afar... From behind a sign... .

I'm not a pervert! I'm a Pervette... See? Sounds more Feminine.

"Which is Larger? A: A peanut, B: An Elephant, C: The Moon or D: A Kettle?" "B." - Elephants; Larger than the Moon.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

You know when you live in 2007 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV (my tv doesn't have more than 4 different buttons anyway, lol)

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5 was missing.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

"When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges."

"I think, therefore I get a headache."

"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."

"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remebered, copy this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

No i didn’t kill him, the bullets and the ground did.

I'm only wearing black until I find something darker.

Bring a knife to a fist fight,

A gun to a knife fight,

A tank to a gun fight

And don't go to a tank fight.

When darkness calls, I will answer, when my mother calls, I hide...-'

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you're IMing me thinking that I'm going to respond and the funny thing is that I'm sitting in front of the computer staring at the screen rolling on the floor laughing watching you IM me.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge.

Work vs Prison

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?

101 things to do at WalMart - If you have done at least 10 of these then you my friend, are super awesome!!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: "Marco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)

77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.

83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.

84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.

85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.

86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught

89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.

90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.

95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).

96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended).

97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice.

99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7 Up commercial.

100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.

If you think randomness rocks, copy and paste this onto your profile and your name onto the list!!Firewolfpup, Akatsuki wolves6, Humanitiesdownfall,

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile

Please read this. It might not make since at first about what it's about, but it will at the end.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool

And when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack

Mummy I was a good girl

I did what I was told

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye

I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun

he hit me and another

And all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much

And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now

And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest

Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class

And never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this

Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try

I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest

But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest

Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would

I wanted to go to college

I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with daddy

On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have a kid

I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live

But mummy I must go now

The time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date

I love you mummy

I always have I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would Pass this around I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground If you pass this on

Maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

I read this poem from Silver kitsune kit, who read it from leafninja345435, who read it from Mitsukai no Shi who read it on mitso-shadow, who read it on windmaster94, who read it on digiwildflower's profile. I think people should read this if they HATE child abusing. If you HATE child abusing like me copy and paste this to your profile.

My name is Sarah I am but three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse My name he calls

I press myself Against the wall.

I try and hide From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more, I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

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I'M A KONOHA NINJA AND I'M PROUD OF IT!

The code of guidelines that are girls most obey in order not to get kicked out of the community.
There are many opinions if the Girl Code actually exists, as well as the Guy Code.

1) If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as “The boy” or “That guy”.

2) All girls must have a “Mr.Right Now”. This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He is always ready to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn’t remember in the morning. He’s not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”

3) If you just met a guy and know absolutley nothing about him, but need to refer to him during ‘girl talk’ you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes… that guy.
(Ex. “The Camaro guy”, “The Trainer dude”, “The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy”)

4) Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retreived.

5) You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into.
Exception: If he’s one of those guys who every girl likes.

6) You are to never diss a friends boyfriend except to agree lightly or nod when she says he’s being a asshole. In most cases it is easier to nod.
Exception: If a guy cheated or dumped your friend is is exceptional for you to claim he isn’t good enough, and that she deserves better as well as reminding her that he was an asshole anyway.

7) If you wan’t to date a friend brother it is required that you get said friends permission.

8) No girl is to ever hang out with the boyfriend of a friend without the friend present. If permission to is granted their should be at least 3 other people with you.

9) No girl may have more than one ‘Love of her Life’ at one time, though having a boyfriend and a ‘Love of her Life’ is fine.

10) No girl shall wear the same outfit or perfume as a friend is they will knowingly be in the same place.

11) No girl shall purchase a distinctive item of clothing which she is aware her friend owns without express permission from the friend.

12) No girl shall borrow an item of clothing without asking the clothing owner’s permission, unless both parties have made an official decision to waive this rule in the context of their friendship.

13) An eye for an eye and a foot for a foot. If a friend borrows an item of clothing and destroys it, said friend must re-pay it.

14) The penalty for exposing a secret to an unauthorized party shall be exile from Girlville.

15) A girl who can substantially claim that she was not aware that a piece of information was a secret at the time she exposed it shall not be subject to punishment.

16) Inside jokes are not to be explained to outsiders.

17) Always leave a man wanting more but don’t leave him guessing too long since guys do not take hints easily.

18) If a guy your friend is into asks for your number, you are to deny it and walk away, and/or slip him your friends number while saying, “I think she is more your type, you should call her”.

19) Chicks before Dicks. Simple.

20) In a case where a friend spreads a horrible rumor about a friend, and than apologizes they are to be given the cold-shoulder for at least 3 days.

21) In a fight between a friend and her boyfriend you must always choose your friends side.

22) When dating a girl should find equal and/or enough time to still hang out with her girls.

23) Never insult your friend but never let your friend leave the house looking hideous. Find a better way to tell your friend how they look.
Ex: ‘I think your other jeans are nice’, ‘You should wear less eyeliner, you have great eyes’.

24) When a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a random guy.

25) When a friend calls you up complaining about how she is drunk and can’t go home you must allow her to stay at your house, without letting your parentals (if you live with them) find out.

26) When out with the ladies, if Girl #1 points out a guy that she is interested in, Girl #2 should avoid making a bee-line over to him to get his number for herself. Show some respect.

27) When said evening is described as a “Girls’ Night Out” that means it is for GIRLS ONLY. Consider it payback for all those tree houses and snow forts we couldn’t enter as children. Do not invite your boyfriend.

28) Stop being the “Me too!” girl If your friend is telling a story, stop stealing her thunder – and her story – by constantly trying to one-up her. For example:
GIRL 1: I had a horrible day. My flat iron broke in the middle of straightening, I dropped my brand new bottle of Burberry Touch on the bathroom floor, I missed the bus by two seconds and was late for school, my teacher yelled at me for something Sally did, and I got into a fight with Jason over whose family we’re spending Thanksgiving with.
GIRL 2: Oh that’s horrible. The same thing happened to me today, only I stepped in gum on the subway platform too. And when I went to scrape it off, I tripped and ripped my stockings and it reminded me of the time I was at my ex-boyfriend’s place for Christmas…

29) Be a responsible friend and not a ‘Yes-Girl’. If a friend is asking you if she should get back together with her ex who chated on her, never wanted to hang out with her and than blamed her for them breaking up, and you say ‘Yes’, than you’re a bad friend. Friends are supposed to protect and help friends. SO say your part even if they don’t like what you have to say.

30) Don’t be a hater. If a girl walks in looking gorgeous, girls automatically try to find something bad about her. But who knows? She could have just lose a friend, or got dumped, etc. So be nice and stop hating.

31) Don’t go against the Girl Code

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

You say English, we say Japanese

You say cars, we say Nyan Cat

You say Justin Bieber, we say Vocaloid

You say swords, we say Bleach

You say reality, we say anime

You say comics, we say manga

You say countries, we say Hetalia

You say hello, we say konichiwa

You learn Japanese from classes, we learn from shows

You cry if a character dies, we have a rainbow of emotions

You only feel what your favorite person feels, we feel what everyone else is feeling

You crush on pop stars, we crush on anime characters

You think we're crazy, but we think you're just normal

You say souls, we say Soul Eater

You Say Ocean, We Say ONE PIECE

You Say Guild, We say FAIRY TAIL

You Say Ninja,We Say Naruto

You say Family, We say Vongola

You say notebook,We say DeathNote

You say rabbits, we say Flying Mint Bunny

You think we're fangirls/fanboys, but we're all Otakus.

Re-post if you're an Otaku and proud.