the art of happiness
 Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride. Hey its brandy here! I posted my first story up yay! Keep checking for more! Share my store and tell your friends to come and check out my profile cause if you do Peeta will bake you some virtual cookies ;) Update: im sooooooo sorry that i have not updated in a while but i got grounded from the internet for a whole month so i just want you guys to know that i haven't bailed out on fan fiction so see you guys later. stuff about me: Name: brandflakes or brandy whatever you prefer Gender: female...I think Age: let me give you a hint, it's between the numbers -567 and 723,035,923,164 but if all those retards out there could not figure out my age from this fairly easy clue then here is a second clue: i'm in the teenage years Where I live: well there is this place I live in called a house Language: English, some Spanish, but I also know some not so nice sign language if you catch my drift "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr.Seuss Punctuation is very important to our everyday lives. For example: "It's not strange to argue with yourself. It's only strange to argue with yourself and lose." Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, sweetcrimefighter, Moonchild707, CetaBabe, Ryuuwriter, WiccaChick98, AnnieHonson, ZoeyAndStarkForeverAndAlways, fireboltwing4, HatingHatersWithAPassion, Mickey-Mouse-is-now-Purple26, cutiepie5514, CakeIsAGoodFriend, Brandflakes is the Name (Be honest no matter what.) 1) Have you ever been asked out? 2) Where did you get your default picture? 3) What's your middle name? 4) Your current relationship status? 5) Does your crush like you back? 6) What is your current mood? 7) What color of underwear are you wearing? 8) What color shirt are you wearing? pink ugh I really need to do laundry but let me say that I just woke up 9) Missing something? yes...my radiocative bomb if you find it could you tell me where it is... it's kinda important 10) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change? 11) If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be? dog because i think it's funny how they pee in public he...he... i know i'm a little messed up 12) Ever had a near death experience? I don't think so 13) Something you do a lot? space out...wait, what was i talking about 14) The song stuck in your head? 15) Who did you copy and paste this from? CakeIsAGoodFriend 16) Name someone with the same birthday as YOU? I looked it up and apperently this lady from sex and the city... awkward 17) When was the last time you cried? two days ago ...why marley, why? 18) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? Yup and i'm so glad that i didn't have a mental breakdown 19) If you could have one super power what would it be? one word...time travelling oh thats two words 20) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? why would i answer this?... pervert 21) What do you usually order from Starbucks? What is this "starbucks" you humans speak of? 22) What's your biggest secret? my biggest secret is that in t minus 3 minutes the capitol of Portugal will be blown to smitheriens. run portuguese peoples run! 23) Favorite color? green and blue cause im cool like that 24) Do you still watch kiddie shows? 25) What are you? a gloffian from the planet gloffa Wait...what are you? 26) Do you speak any other language? Yes i know a little not so nice sign language *shoots the bird* ;) 27) What's your favorite smell? I like the smell of blood when i first tear my teeth into my victum's flesh uh... I mean strawberries.. 28) Describe your life in one word what would it be? kinda fun ...ohh the question said one word 29) Have you ever kissed in the rain? 30) What are you thinking about right now? how stupid my answers to these questions are 31) What should you be doing? helping my mother lord dissect the human we captured... *sees the human awaking* ... i'll be right back 32) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? my mom gosh my mom makes me jelly- ( i know jelly means jelous, but tell that to stephan) all the time bro (refrence to stephan) 33) Do you like working in the yard? Define "yard" 34) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? anything besides Rodriguez... oops ... * turns around and looks at mom* mom we need to move again! 35) Do you act differently around the person you like? no because THAT PERSON DOES NOT EXIST! 36) What is your natural hair color? brown 37) Who was the last person to make you cry? Copy THIS onto Your Profile Stuff... If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. (And cracks. And desks. And chairs. And loose floorboards. And door frames. And air) 92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. If you have a HUGE profile (and you know it), but keep on adding stuff to it, then add this to your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile part IF YOU ARE ON A MAJOR SUGAR RUSH RIGHT NOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you are OBSESSED with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile and write your name: MysticalPearl, MaxWing,sk8rchickmax,BlackwingRainbowtips. MyNameIsCAL, Brandflakes is the Name If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization. If you hate pasting stuff, suck it up and paste this anyway! If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile. If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile. If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile. If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile. If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile. If you think Fang is a stud, put this on your profile. If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile. If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang post this in your profile If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile. If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile. If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile. IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY/PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!! If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile! If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you love Maximum Ride, copy and paste this into your profile. 65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you guys love to read, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you think Max and Fang should get together now copy and paste this into your profile. If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile! If you're absoloutely, uncrontollably in love with Fang, copy this into your profile If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character to steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this in your profile If James Patterson needs to get it all together, copy and paste this into your profile If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile If you are one of the few teens who don't have or want to have a MySpace/FaceBook, or have one and want to get rid of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you wish that a fictional character were real, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. 90 percent of teens today would die if MySpace/Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile. If you think High School Musical is evil and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they’re not, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile. If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can smell trouble a mile away, and still walk straight into it, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you trip over flat surfaces copy and paste this onto your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have a wide range variety of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you call book characters "Cute" even though you've never actually seen them, copy this to your profile. I am not normal, I am not the only one of my kind, I am special and I have reasons for my secrets. The only thing I keep close to me is a pen, a pad of paper, my secrets and my knife. Because you'll never know what will try to kill you when you're part of a nation, when you are a Fan Fictioner. - Lynx of the Sand. Post this if you are a Fan Fictioner and you're proud of it. If you've ever cried because one of your charecters dies, copy this. If you come up with stories faster than you can write them...crud...I just came up with another one. If you talk to your book charcters copy this. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile. If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile. If you should be doing homework right now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust? Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.. Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. 95 of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who whould get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this. If you have ever wished you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever stared at something while you're walking and then walked headfirst into a pillar copy this into your profile If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return ManLife Sucks, Avatarwolf lilly1542, Itachifanchick, Silver-Arrow-Kitsune-Girl, Dark Wolf on a full Blood, Xx-Erin-xX-AthrunxCagallifan, Laurel Alex, Silvermusic384, WordsUnsaid, Brandflakes is the Name Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. Cervical cancer is actually caused by a virus know as Human Papalonia Virus (HPV). Millions of women around the world already have this virus. Spread your knowledge and post this in your profile. If you have your own personal bubble space copy and paste this into your profile. If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile. There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character copy and paste this on your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven. Even when you cant see him, god is there! if you believe in god copy and paste this in your profile. If you think ‘rock, paper, scissors’ or ‘bubble gum bubble gum in a dish’ solves allot of problems then put this in you’re profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've hit teenage years and are tending to be a bit rebellious... Well, girl(or boy), copy this into your profile. 65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile. If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble/Borders, copy and paste this onto your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile. 88% of teenagers think that reading is a waste of time. Copy and paste this into your profile if your the 12% that thinks those people are nut jobs. If you think sometimes songs really speak to you, paste this on your profile. If you believe that Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson would make a terrible Max & Fang, copy and paste this on your profile. If you like to read fanfiction more than you like to read books, copy and paste this on your profile. If your parent loves to embarrass you, copy and paste this on your profile. If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy and paste this in your profile. If you feel the need to read through someone's profile even when you don't know them, copy and paste this into your profile 30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have worked on your profile for a day then your computer crashes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever called a random person mom on accident copy and paste this on your profile. (I made this one up on my own yah for me) If you went to buy the hunger games at midnight the day it came out on dvd copy and paste this on your profile. (I did just this and went with one of my friends) If you have ever invented your own "copy and paste" thingy, copy and paste this into your profile. If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this. If you have ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this into your profile. Cats, dogs and goldfish count If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If 2 gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when 2 foots are feet, why aren't 2 footballs feetballs? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you’re random and proud of it, put this on your profile! If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it, put this on your profile If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile. If you have ever tried to lick your elbow even though you knew it was physically impossible, paste this on your profile. If you and/or your best friend are insane, put this on your profile. 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever eaten something none of your friends would try, copy/paste this in your profile. If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy this onto your profile. If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. If you have laughed so hard that you couldn't breathe and ended up laughing silently while half crying due to lack of air, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people look at you funny, copy and paste this into your profile If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile. 1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3. If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.(oh my gosh im having a nervous breakdown) If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever thought about something while you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like chocolate, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If Fan Fiction to you is what MySpace/Twitter/Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this onto your profile. If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever mistaken a stick for a snake, copy and paste this into your profile. 97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there, eating popcorn, screaming, "DO A FLIP YOU SPARKLY RETARD!", then copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile If you've ever thought about killing someone you hate, took out the chainsaw and then realized that murder is illegal copy and paste this onto your profile I missed my brother...but my aim is improving! If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Seweedbrainrocks314, Shorty and KG Inc., Brandflakes is the Name Peanut Butter goes with jelly. It also goes with chocolate. Jelly goes with bread, and bread crumbs are good on chicken. Chicken is good with ketchup. Ketchup is good on a hamburger. Hamburgers are sold at McDonald's. McDonald's is not healthy for you. If you like all or most of the stuff that I said here, copy and paste this onto you page. If you don't, copy and paste anyway but stop eating at McDonald's because it will make you fat. If you are willing to rebel against the flamers and anyone who is bad in the world and harms any animal or plant of any sort (except a few selected) copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Shorty and KG Inc, Brandflakes is the Name If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into yor profile. If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile. If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you love to write copy and paste this into your profile. If you think sweets are like magnets when they are sitting right next to you, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have fanfiction, copy and paste this onto your profile. 98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile. If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile If you want to be Avian-American, copy and paste this into your profile If you think of ideas for a story and more than half the time they turn out rubbish, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hate bullying, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you want wings and powers, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile. If your immature then paste this in your profile If your a sucker for bacon, then copy and paste this onto your profile!!! If you've ever laughed at your friend when they've done something stupid, copy and paste this. If you've ever laughed and couldn't stop yourself from laughing for the next few minutes, copy and paste this. If you have ever had someone talking to you, you don't hear them, and then five minutes later you look at them and say "what did you say?" copy this into your profile If you banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. If you love to laugh, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe that all life is equal, no matter what sort of creature it is, copy this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you've ever been called weird and taken that as a complement, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile. Sicence prvoes taht eevn wehn the wrods are srcabmled up you can sitl raed tihs. Cpoy and Psate tihs itno yuor porflie if you can raed tihs. If you have ever randomly said something, copy this to your profile. If you want to be a writer someday, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a dog lover, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is you profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!) IF YOU MAKE RANDOM FISHY FACES AT PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IS YOU PRO If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile. I do. If you haved a friend planning on taking over the world and they are going to let you rule a country with cute guys with accents copy and paste this in your profile. If you have (a) annoying sibling(s), copy/paste this on your profile! If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you everwhacked someone while playing the Wii, copy this onto your profile If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. If you think you are really random, copy and paste this onto your profile IF YOU CAN HURT YOURSELF DOING JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE If you can easily finish a thick, chaptered novel in a day, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you believe big red buttons should be pushed because they are big and red, copy and paste this into your profile. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think or know that you copied and pasted the same thing more than once. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Save the Earth, It's the only planet with chocolate! (AND BACON-DON'T FORGET BACON!!!) If you have read my profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think the school week is way too long and weekends are way too short, copy this onto your profile. If you laugh when you're not supposed to, then copy and paste this to your profile If you hate homework, join the club and copy and paste this into your profile. If you love to draw copy and paste this into your profile If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! (JUMP MILEY JUMP!) 90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing/hacked the site in the first place, copy and paste this to your Profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile. Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've never done drugs, became an alcoholic, and/or a smoker and never plan to, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that Chip the Wolf should just go to the freaking supermarket and buy his own cookie crisp instead of trying to steal someone else's, copy and paste this onto your profile If you work better to music, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile If you hate Luke and you want to be the one to push him off a mountain, copy and paste this into your profile If you have dreams where you are taken to Camp Half-Blood and you are claimed, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you have friends that fit the description of satyrs or children of gods, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile. (it wasn't my fault!!! jace was saying “I don't want to be a man, I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." I mean, if you didn't laugh, or at least crack a smile when you read that from City of Ashes, please tell me how the hell that couldn't be funny) If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Oh the irony... If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?" Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! My friends used to be semi-normal. Then they met me. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:) If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. put this on your page If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. If FanFiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. (\_/) This is bunny. Copy and paste If you want to be a writer someday, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a dog lover, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of the conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. If you have ever randomly said something, copy this to your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile. If you have ever stayed up past 5:00 in the morning just because you friggin' could, copy and paste this onto your profile. Sicence prvoes taht eevn wehn the wrods are srcabmled up you can sitl raed tihs. Cpoy and Psate tihs itno yuor porflie if you can raed tihs. If you and/or your friend are nuts and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile!!! :D If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you've ever been called weird and taken that as a complement, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe that all life is equal, no matter what sort of creature it is, copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this into your profile If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile. If you love to laugh, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love to write copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the Internet world has a Myspace account. If you are part of the two percent who don't (like me!) copy and paste this onto your profile. If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had someone talking to you, you don't hear them, and then five minutes later you look at them and say "what did you say?" copy this into your profile If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. (how about a whole book in 2 hours!) If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever laughed at your friend when they've done something stupid, copy and paste this. If you've ever laughed and couldn't stop yourself from laughing for the next few minutes, copy and paste this. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think sweets are like magnets when they are sitting right next to you, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have fanfiction, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think of ideas for a story and more than half the time they turn out rubbish, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hate bullying, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile. If you have ever passed notes in class when you are allowed to talk copy and paste this into your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like,"Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. At my school, we can go out for lunch, even in the rain. It's really fun. Totally suggest trying it sometime. We stole the entire schools supply of number 2 pencils, so they had to delay the standardized testing! BOUYA!! If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list. If keyboards hate you copy this onto your profile! The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are now more scared of dentists then ever by learning this fact, put this on your profile. I like cooking eggs. Tigers are pretty. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people copy and paste this into your profile If you want wings and powers, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile. If your immature then paste this in your profile If your a sucker for bacon, then copy and paste this onto your profile!!! If your laugh sounds like a chipmonk hippicuping in rapid-fire succession, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have to shove to fit all your books - and I don't mean the assigned ones - in your backpack, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you want to kill Sam and the red haired wonder, copy and paste this onto your profile. ( If you didnt get that, read Maximum Ride) If your reading fanfics when your supost to be studying for a major test the next day, and telling your parents your studying, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you say a word in your head until it sounds wierd, stop thinking about it, and start thinking about how hot Fang is, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your favorite color was not black before reading Maximum Ride, and now it is, copy and paste this onto your profile.If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. (I think I've been on for three hours now...) If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile. (They don't say it, but I'm sure they're thinking it!) If you think Fang is hot, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile If you have ever lost someone dear to you, and they have inspired you to write songs/stories/poems, copy and paste this in your profile... If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile. IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY/PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!! If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (my alarm clock! lol) If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in less than four hours, copy this into your profile. If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you love Maximum Ride, copy and paste this into your profile. 65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you guys love to read, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile. (shh!) Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile. (AND I NEVER WILL!) If you are one of the few teens who don't have or want to have a MySpace/FaceBook, or have one and want to get rid of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. 90 percent of teens today would die if MySpace/Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 8 percent that would be laughing, or the 2 percent that hacked the site in the first place, copy and paste this to your Profile. (2 percent!!! if i knew how to hack a website :)) If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven." If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile. If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. If you are a nerd, an athlete, artist, musician, and a gullible person copy and paste this to your profile. If you have bestfriends that are always there for you and listen to every weird thing you say, copy and paste this to your profile. A good percentage of boys are in love with Black Ops and a majority of girls are obsessed with Justin Bieber (BIEBER BLAST HA!). Copy and paste this to your profile if you don't like neither. If you think High School Musical is evil and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they’re not, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you everwhacked someone while playing the Wii, copy this onto your profile If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. if someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. IF YOU ARE ON A MAJOR SUGAR RUSH RIGHT NOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever forgotten your own name, copy and paste this into your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If your happy and you know it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't care when people make fun of you, but when someone makes fun of your friends you automatically think of numerous, painful ways to kill them, copy and paste. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think you are really random, copy and paste this onto your profile If you can easily finish a thick, chaptered novel in a day, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you believe big red buttons should be pushed because they are big and red, copy and paste this into your profile. Copy and paste this into your profile if you think or know that you copied and pasted the same thing more than once. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Save the Earth, It's the only planet with chocolate! (AND BACON-DON'T FORGET BACON!!!) If you have read my profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think the school week is way too long and weekends are way too short, copy this onto your profile. If you laugh when you're not supposed to, then copy and paste this to your profile If you hate homework, join the club and copy and paste this into your profile. (except for math. math is fun :)) If you love to draw copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy & paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever started laughing at something that is remotely funny and can't stop copy and paste this in your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a detention or library or somewhere where it is supposed to be quiet copy and paste this into your profile. (i have never had detention my life) If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it. (P.S. If dyslexia is like this, I think I could handle it) If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you repeatedly read page 203 in The Battle of the Labyrinth, copy and paste this in your profile. If you hate it when those pretty sissy girls get all the attention and the tough girls are ignored then copy and paste this into your profile If you have friends that fit the description of satyrs or children of gods, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile. If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile. Some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs! If you agree with this, copy and paste this into your profile Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile. If you think that 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they can spread their 6-AM cheer to say, Martians, copy this into your profile. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. I am Weird and PROUD OF IT! If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place. Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Education is important, school however, is another matter. Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon. Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more. Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. Evening Newsis where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the heck you did. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with! Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Toesarent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully. I ran into my ex the other day...then i put it in reverse and hit him again!! If you are going for the record of the LLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTT profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer. PERCABETH FOREVER!! IF YOU HATE PRACHEL, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE! If you love Percabeth, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Silendorf, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Gruniper, copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE THE GODS!! If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. Organized people are just too lazy to look for things. If you think Alexandra Daddario is completely the wrong choice to be playing Annabeth Chase and want a re-cast, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: believeinthegods,HarryPercyEragonJosh,Bobbythebear, percabethrocks, Tia and Tori INC, ItsAboutTimeIChangedMyPenname Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over. I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away. When life gives you lemons, you throw them right back and tell it to make their own dang lemonade The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face. I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good, either. STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. Have you ever wondered... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouths closed? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juicemade with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquidmade with real lemons? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheepshrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey? If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile? When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do (\ _ /) This is Bunny. ／l、 Sorry Kitty, I'm already helping Bunny with world domination. If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiel. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!! 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent, ether sitting in a lawn chair with popcorn yelling "JUMP!!" or pushing her off the building. : 3 Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. Omg don't read this please This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. Im sorry but i have now cursed you. If you dont copy and paste this onto your profile, she will suffocate you. If you are so kind and DO copy and paste this, she will completly forget you and you will live in peace. Stupid Test Here's what ya do: mark your answers with a little 'x' in the () if its true, but BE HONEST (I was)!! Then copy and paste it onto your profile! 1 (x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking 3 (x) You have ran into a glass/screen door 4 (x) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle 5 (x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks 8 (x)It IS possible to lick your elbow 12(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen 14(x)you just scrolled up to check 15(x) your laughing at how stupid you are 16(x) You have choked on your own spit 20 ( ) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde 22(x) You have accidentally caught something on fire 24 (x) You have caught yourself drooling 25 (x) You've fallen asleep in class 26 (x) Sometimes you just stop thinking 33 (x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it 34 (x) You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket(in some cases on your head!) 35 (x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you, like on a myspace... 36 (x) You break a lot of things 37 ( ) Your friends know not to use big words around you 38 (x) You sometimes tilt your head when you' re confused 41 (x) The word 'like' is used many times a day 42 (x) You called a friend and then completely forgot what you were gonna say 43 (x) You have spelled your name wrong ... wow I'm so stupid that it's sad. Oh well my friends still love me! They tell me that I'm "special". The Stupid Test #2 This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you!-(Oh my gosh that ryhmed hahahahaha...ha) 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave 24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else i THINK I NEED TO GET HELP OR SOMETHING. AND I THOUGHT THE FIRST TEST WAS BAD Fanfiction is a site for people who have been called at least one of the following- Weirdo, Loner, Nerd, Lick, Geek, Shy, Silent, Creepy, Crazy, Insane, Eccentric, Psycho, Odd, Mental or Different. Fanfiction is a site for girls who are deperately in love with a non existant guys. (Because they're the best kind...) Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their classmates to characters from books. Fanfiction is a site for those of us who can't express ourselves in life. Fanfiction is a site for people talk to themselves... a lot. Fanfiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets. Fanfiction is a site for people who get funny looks for reading in class. Fanfiction is a site for people who admire the guy who tries to be different. Fanfiction is a site for people who say long words that other people don't normally understand. Fanfiction is a site for people aren't afraid to sit alone and read at lunch Fanfiction is a site for girls who don't need guys to complete them. Fanfiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different. Fanfiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams. Fanfiction is a site for people who are different, but don't care because, they know it's who they really are. Truth of a reader When you look at a reader you see a person thats smart and gets good grades. A person who has a imagination greater than some and can come up with great stories. But do you really know a reader? A reader is someone who buries thier time in a book to be cut off from the rest of the world. A reader is somone who put themself into a book to be cut off from the shit that the rest of the world gives them. A reader is someone needs to see the pain of themself in another person to find the meaning. A reader is somone who feels depressed and needs to be alone. Now do you know a reader? If you see yourself in these words copy and paste this on to your profile to let the world know who a reader is. 1.Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin? 2.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 3.Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? 4.Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? 5.Why is a boxing ring square? 6.Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? 7.Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? 8.Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? 9.Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? 10.Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? 11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the 12. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real 13.Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 14.Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? 15.Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? 16.Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? 17.Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? 18.Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? 19. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't 20.Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 21. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? 1. Front: I heard you have gone deaf. 2. Front: I'm sorry to hear you have gone blind. 3. Front: I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead. 4. Front: My sympathies on the last of your father's teeth falling out. 5. Front: My condolences on the loss of your arms. 6. Front: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease. 7. Front: I heard that you were very sick. 8. Front: I heard you were dead. 9. Front: I heard your whole family got shot. 10. Front: Congratulations on your first period! 11. Front: Thank God you aren't pregnant! 12. Front: I heard that you attempted suicide. 13. Front: After all these years, it was good to run into you again. 14. Front: I was sorry to hear that your dog ran away. 15. Front: They told me you were constipated. 16. Front: Wishing you a speedy recovery from your accident. 17. Front: Get well soon. 18. Front: Congratulations on finally getting a life. 19. Front: Hot damn! 20. Front: Congratulations on your weight loss! 21. Front: When life deals you a hard blow...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it? Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back. When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you. You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did. Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within. Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. One day, you will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. When your in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "damn that was fun!" Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over. Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up. Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him saying "You will die in seven days!" A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isn't it?" I called your boyfriend "gay" and he hit me with his purse! People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people. A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumbass?" When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eyes. my favorite word is sarcasm. I'm the kinda girl who gets fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the Ws. I'm the kinda girl who does c.p.r on a goldfish because it was drowning I'm the kinda girl who will try to climb a cactus I'm the kinda girl who lets the hobos use her chapstick I'm the kinda girl who spends hours trying to slam a revolving door (I once tried to do that, it was fun. People stared at me though) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn "Everything is going to change now, isn't it?" yep, pretty much and they say there are no such things as stupid questions god Hermione can be an idiot EMO=Extravagantly Made Oragami Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips. FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back.you don't determine who has more fun by the colour of their hair,orange is NOT the new pink, and no, my mom DIDN'T do that. so STFU YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed-Im not a can. Normal is just a setting on washing machines. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Duct tape is like the force: both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together. Somebody needs a Happy Meal. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! News from the file marked "DUH" Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all goth again Why are all the good guys only real in books? coughh edwardfang cough I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me Lets try to spell our names with our noses! Add your name to the list when your done. Kaia-SO close!,yumixjaganshi (i cant do caps though) A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" Suck it up and get on with your life. If at first you dont succeed, stop trying and seek counselling. If that doesn't work, kill your counsellor and just go do it for heaven's sakes. The Greatest Friendship Poem Ever True Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap… Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? 1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must become involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever the hell you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. 9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.. Friendship is like peeing your pants, 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. Jose blue B August black cause black goes with everything Natalie 23 California lake I wish that I can become a writer or book editer There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been My name is Ann and I am 45 years What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will Now follow this carefully...it If you repost this within the next 5 min. This is scary! The phone will ring right after you repost! FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella FRIENDS:Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through school/college. FRIENDS: Will confort you when the guy rejects you FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions Friend: Will help me learn to drive Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Best Friend: Won't let me go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me Friend: Will bail me out of jail Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up" Friend: Will go to a concert with me Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad" Friend: Asks me for my number Best friend: Asks me for her number Freind: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason they’re after me in the first place Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too. Friends: Fade Best Friends: Are 4 Ever see, we need friends and best friends. Friends vs. Best Friends FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. FRIENDS: Will help you move. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Tells you she knows how you feel. Why am I acting like people are actually gonna read this thing?! 258 ways to annoy... everybody 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go." 3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub." 4.Name your dog "Dog." 5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think." 7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. 9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date. 13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. 14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon. 16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies. 18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 20. Repeat everything someone says as a question. 21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps. 22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now." 24. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read. 28. Ask people what gender they are. 29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray. 30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 36. Wear a lot of cologne. 37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 38. Sing along at the opera. 39. Mow your lawn with scissors. 40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!" 41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 46. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties. 48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. 49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 51. Practice making fax and modem noises. 52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss. 53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy." 54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 57. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 59. Honk and wave to strangers. 60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE. 61. type only in lowercase. 62. Dont use any punctuation in sentences 63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over.. 66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone. 67. Drum on every available surface. 68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 69. Set alarms for random times. 70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.." 71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off. 72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. 73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. 74. Wear your pants backwards. 75. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!" 76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music." 77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode. 78. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 84. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 86. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along. 88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 89. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it. 90. Drive across the street. 91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl. 93. "Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes." 95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 97. Ask to "interface" with someone. 98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." 99. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 101. Never make eye contact. 102. Never break eye contact. 103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results. 104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. 105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice. 106. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says. 107. As people talk, smell their shoulders. 108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention." 109. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?" 110. Place your shoes on the table. 111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right. 112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off." 113. Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's. 114. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today. 115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips. 116. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one. 117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off. 118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President. 119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent. 120. Wear odd shoes. 121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly. 122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says. 123. Throw stones at people walking past your house. 124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds. 125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles. 126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke. 127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening. 128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2. 129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage. 130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too. 131. Pretend you have gone completely deaf. 132. .sdrawkcab etirW 133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food. 134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it. 135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants. 136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up! 137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say. 138. Drive on the wrong side of the road. 139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural." 140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme. 141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman. 142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot. 143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt. 144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin. 145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away. 146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%. 147. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly. 148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R. 149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the." 150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started. 151. Ride a unicycle to work. 152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there. 153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat. 154. Continuously mumble during a conversation. 155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house. 156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly. 157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs. 158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns. 159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk. 160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling. 161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant. 162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly. 163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking. 164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing." 165. Go to a gumball machine and insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!" 166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway. 167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles. 168. Push a raisin into someone's cream-filled donut. (I don't get this one.) 169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn. 170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the center of someone's anti-perspirant. 171. 172. 173. Add blank entries to lists, to make it look like it's longer. 174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonald's. 175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn. 176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys. 177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants. 178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look. 179. At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you." 180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone's car. 181. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family. 182. Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners. Demand a dollar in a British accent. 183. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining. 184. In an office, lock all the doors behind you. 185. Face the back when standing in an elevator. 186. Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town. 187. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.) 188. Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band. 189. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!") 190. Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY. 191. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!". 192. Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things." 193. Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall! 194. Call every girl you know "dude". 195. Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy. 196. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality" 197. Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment. 198. Call 911 and breathe heavily. 199. Take a shower. Feel guilty. Give it back. (?) 200. Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's) 201. Vacuum your lawn. (See note on 200) 202. Recite Shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet. 203. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper. 204. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice. 205. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?" 206. When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off. 207. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?" 208. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears). 209. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation. 210. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly. 211. Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do". 212. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school. 213. Pretend you are invisible. 214. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language. 215. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills. 216. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?" 217. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason. 218. Call everyone a communist. 219. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise. 220.. Call your neighbors collect. 221. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?" 222. Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice. 223. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle. 224. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises. 225. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?" 226. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking. 227. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!" 228. While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job. 229. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you. 230. Slurp your soda very loudly, claiming "I have to get EVERY drop." 231. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know." 232. Sending this list to all of your friends through email. 233. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over. 234. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly. 235. Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!" 236. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!". 237. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial. 238. At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!" 239. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave. 240. Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit down next to a stranger, and scratch your head a lot. 241. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang. 242. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father." 243. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device. 244. Super Glue quarters to floors. 245. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers. 246. Call random numbers and say "Hi, this is Julie from Baskin Robins. If you can name 31 flavors in 31 seconds you get a free scoop." 247. RITE N AL CAPETEL LEDDERZ AND MIZPEL EVRREEYTHING!!! 248. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people. 250. Lend a book to someone, but staple the middle together. 251) Lend someone a book, but rip out the climax. 252) Drink milk right out of the carton. 252) When making a list use the same number twice. 253) Spehl eezy werds ronng. 254) Pronunce people's names wrong everytime you meet them. 255) Laugh at everything they say. 256) Never laugh at what they say. 257) When talking to someone, tilt your head to the side. 258) Snicker at what someone said and say "I got the movie reference" 19 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART/BIG ASDA 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" 17. If you get caught, run as fast as you can, grab whatever clothes you can fit in, and put them on, run to the café and pretend to be in line/reading at the table. See if the person runs past you. 18. Bring a friend, have one of you get in a cart, have the other one push, and grab random items off shelves, putting them in your cart and then go up to the cash register and have the one pushing say “How much is this person?” See how they react. 19. Walk around the store pointing to people with your fingers forming a gun and yell “Bang!” When they turn to see you. Repost this is you laughed... or are planning to do any of these things This is a sad story (This is something sad that brought tears to my eyes) A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle... Girl: Slow down, I'm scared. Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug... Girl hugs him Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me. (in the paper the next day) A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brake broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead,he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then hehad her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meantthat he would die. If you love any one this much...let them know...before its too late... If you would do this for someone or if this touched you, copy and paste this onto your profile. I did! 1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the 2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and 3.Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6. Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high 7.Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date. 8.Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly. 9. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they 10. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms 12. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier 13.Howl and whistle at womens' legs, especially if you are female. 14.Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets. 15. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking 16.Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme. 17.When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food. 18. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than 19.Drool. 20.Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs. 21. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in 22. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess 23.Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you. 24.Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates. 25. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the 26.Ask your date how much money they have with them. 27.Order for your date. Order something nasty. 28.Communicate in mime the entire evening. 29. Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, 30. Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs. 32. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, 33.Hold a debate. Take both sides. 34.Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn. 35.Auction your date off for silverware. 36.Slide under the table. Take your plate with you. 37. Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, 38.Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments. 39. Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and 40.Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience. 41. Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or 42. Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, 43.If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite. 44. Bring 20 or so candles you, and during the meal get up and arrange them 45. Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home 46.Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt. 47. Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order coffee, and 48. Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a simliar 49.Accuse your date of espionage. 50.Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults. 51.Don't use any verbs during the entire meal. 52.Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill. 53.Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow. 54.Feed imaginary friends, or toy dolls you've brought along. 55.Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill. A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God? Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo... I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I’m DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either with a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and/or COMICS, I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. I like to stand up in front of a crowd so I must be an attention hog. I have dogs so i must hate cats. I active, so that must mean sexually. I like boys so that must mean I'm a slut. I have pervertive friends so that must mean I’m a pervert Screw Stereotypes and follow your own path! You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When... [X]1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog. [ ]2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming. [X]3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel. ]4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari. [X]5. You claim you have wings. [X]6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'. [X]7. You daydream about meeting the flock. [x ]8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more. [X]9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect. ]10. You study about birds. [ ]11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal. [X]12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both. ]13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking. [X]14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'. [X]15. You are counting down the days for the next book. () [X]16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight. (the midnight premiere is ALWAYS at midnight. Hence the name.) [X]17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser. [X]18. You hate dog crates. [X]19. You think scientists are evil. ]20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's. [ ]21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch. [X]22. You've found a new respect for blind people. [X]23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author. ]24. You say 'U and A' a lot. [X]25. You think you have a Voice like Max. ]26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it. [X]27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR. [X]28. You know what 'Fax' is. ]29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween. [ ]30. You claim to have brain attacks. [X]31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them. [X]32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is. [X]33. You daydream of flying. [X]34. You love chocolate chip cookies. [X]35. You seriously felt like you were in the book. [X]36. If you want to become a writer because of MR [X]37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it. [X]38. If you love Fan-fiction. [x]39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride. [X]40. You want a talking dog. ////\\\\ GO NINJAS!!! Post The Stairs Quotes of awesomeness You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder A wise man once said "I don't know go ask a woman" It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 to reach out and slap someone Don't knock on deaths door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that Vegetarian: Indian word for 'lousy hunter'. Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up Boys are like slinkies – useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Be yourself. That's crazy enough. You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail. Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place. They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" i don't think you'd kill many people Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves. The trouble with real life is that there is no background music I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything. Forecast for tonight: darkness If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do? I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die. There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line I'm not random I just have many thoughts I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. If a species is to triumph and prevail, the female of the species must be more deadly than the male. Don't ever argue with an idiot. They'll bring you down to their level and beat you through experience. To oppose something is to maintain its existence. If people lead, the leaders will follow. Some people are born great, some people achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. If you had a life you would stop talking about mine We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction! Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over. Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner. People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down stairs There is no great genius without a mixture of madness When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me. Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor. PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a *. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense When life gives you lemons make grape juice, lay back, and let the world wonder how you did it. I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah! Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway. I have a dream and in it, something eats you. Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?! I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret! Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll. By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday Have you considered suing your brain for non-support? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my *! I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it! Wherever there is life there is love Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks? I'm NOT SHORT!! ... I'm fun sized! Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses! When you call us * we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID! Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell? HELL- Where all the fun people end up! I'm smiling cause I'm your sister, I'm laughing cause theres nothing you can do about it! If I had half a mind..I would still be smarter than you!! Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water! All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege. Where there's a will...I want to be in it. A clean house is a sign of a broken computer I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding... Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking. Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "brightness," but it doesn't work. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! Come to the dark side. We have cookies. In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place. Slinky Escalator = Endless Fun! Being weird is like being normal, only better. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? "I vill now destroy de snickuhs bahrs!" gazzy- MR, stwaoes Silence is golden but duck tape is silver. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it Practice makes perfect...but some say nobody is perfect so why practice? I am a bomb technician... if you see me running try to keep up Some people are like a slinky, not really good for anything but you can't help smiling when one tumbles down the stairs You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall of a cliff, I laugh even harder. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of A stranger stabs you in the front, a friend stabs you in the back, and a boy stabs you in the heart, but a best friend just sits there poking you with a spork So you can pay $6,445,883 on a commercial for starving kids, but you can't feed them? “Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.” ― Jack Handey I am doing things that are true to me. The only thing I have a problem with is being labeled. “People can’t figure me out, they can’t process me, I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with the normal brain.” I hate it when people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird. Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun. Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls. Slinky Escalator = Endless fun Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it." The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" 1 out of 6 people are insane. except when you're friends with me and my friends, then 6 out of 6 people are insane. Reality is more fun when you make it up Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid! Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil? I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to Tell the truth and run When in doubt, say a quote When in doubt, make up words! Ask no questions and I will tell no lies it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the daylight out of them. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? What would happen if the whole world farted at once? I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna to do? Kill me? Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. "At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote." When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it. The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas... When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Smile. It confuses people. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Help, I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet! It's soo pretty! Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. The cops never find it as funny as you do. Let's flip a coin, heads we stay together, tails we flip again. Cracks in the concrete remind us that no matter how strong we are we break. A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice. Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. The dinosaur extinction wasn't an accident - barney came and they all committed suicide. You can ask permission now or beg forgiveness later. Never regret what once made you smile. Sometimes you make me so mad i want to throw you into ongoing traffic, but then i realize that i would probably kill myself trying to save you If you live to be 100 i want to be 100 minus one day so i will never have to live without you don't save anything for a special occasion, every day your alive is a special occasion my imaginary friends think you have problems shock me... say something intelligent people who say anythings possible have clearly never tried to slam a revolving door relax. nothing is ok. 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. "...It's like going up to a rock and saying, 'You're a rock!". Diary of a lovesick mutant by Pheonix Fanatic On a scale of one to ten, what is your favorite color? -If you can stay calm when all around you is in chaos, then you probably haven't fully understood the situation. -If Mars had earthquakes, would they be called marsquakes? -The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. -There are 3 kinds of people: People who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electrical fence for themselves. -WARNING- do NOT walk in my footsteps! I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff. -Last night I lay in bed looking u at the stars thinking, where the heck is the ceiling?! -they laugh because we're losers...WE laugh because they just figured it out -if tylenol,duct tape, or a band-aid don't fix you, you have a serious problem -you cry. i cry, you laugh, i laugh, you fall off a cliff, i laugh even harder -the dinosaurs didn't die out on accident. Barney came and they comitted suicide. -you can't spell awesome without ME! -They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG I don't think you'd kill that many people -Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates it. -When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it -Sometimes I wonder 'why is the frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face “I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"? -shoot for the moon. even if you miss you'll land amongst the stars -When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. -It IS bad and they ARE out to get you -Taste the rainbow-EAT CRAYONS! -newscasters always say "good evening" and then preced to tell you why it's not -boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs -I wish my lawn was emo. Then it could cut itself -whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door -Ever stop to think and then forget to start again? -An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed -Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! -secret admirers are stalkers with stationary -I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it! -Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork! (not a spork, that's reserved for my best friends :D ) -you laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. -Help! I've fallen and I can't-oooo nice carpet! -I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me! -We know the speed of light...So what's the speed of dark? -Who gives a crap if the glass is half full or half empty? Just pick the freaking glass up and drink it! -I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun! -The Force and duct tap are the same thing- they both have a light and dark side and they hold the universe together! -I ran with scissors and lived! -When you go to court, you're putting your life in the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. -IF you can't buy friendship, then why do you have to buy Barbie's friends? -mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young -i'm not random! i just have thou- OH A SQUIRREL! -Silence is golden duct tape is silver -it's always the last place you look. Of course it is! why would I keep looking after I found it?! -I'm not afraid of Death! What's it gonna do? kill me? -life is like a pack of gum...I have yet to figure out why. -Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! -I used to have super poweres...then my therapist took them away... -I used to have have an imaginary friend...then she abandoned me because her friends thought I wasn't real... -what hapens if you get scared half to death twice? RANDOM SAYINGS: Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon. Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Life was so simple when boys had cooties I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey! When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone. What Top ten signs you are in California: 1.You take the bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in english 2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house 3. Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair a nose ring and is named Breeze 4. You can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian coffee beans 5. You pass an elementry school playground and all the children are busy with their cell phone. 6. The guy wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney is George Clooney 7. A low speed pursuit will interrupt any tv broadcast. 8. Its sprinkling outside so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather related accidents. 9. You and your dog have therapists. 10. A really great parking space can move you to tears. 10 ways to annoy people 1.name your dog ”dog” do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? -Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube! -I'm busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? -I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert. -I love when people use the term "we're expecting" when they talk about pregnancy, it makes it sound like there could me multiple outcomes. Yeah, we're expecting a baby. But it could be a velociraptor. -Some people just need a hug... Around the neck. With my hands. -Dear Windshield Wipers, -Boy: Our principal is so stupid. -When life gives you lemons... chuck them back and yell, " I wanted cookies". -Dear math, I'm not a therapist. solve your own problems. -I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. -When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. -I'm one of those people that laughs at a joke 3 TIMES: -Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. -Never play leap frog with a unicorn. -If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Girls are like apples on trees the best one’s are at the top of the tree. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they settle for the rotten apples from the ground that aren’t as good but easy to get. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Female Comebacks Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. If you ever been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), Ice wolf13, AlyxtheDarkWanderer, BellaSwan321, Bookworm614, MelRose520, Anna Ride, Brandflakes is the Name To every girl out there who thinks they're not pretty (I was one of them): I'm not going to spew some crap about inner beauty, because, even though it's true, we all know that it's not what 99.9 of today's teenage girl population wants to hear. I can guarantee that everyone has someone who thinks they're beautiful, and everyone has someone out there for them. I know it's the truth. I mean, there are like, nine billion people on Earth. There's always someone out there! Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, and sometimes it was there all along. Everyone has something about them that would make someone like them, I assure you. And, hey, you don't have to believe me! But, let me tell you, life's a whole lot brighter when you do. Copy and Paste this onto your profile if you agree. (Put this on your page if you like music.) If you are obsessed with Maximum Ride, here are common symptoms: . You try to talk to black Scotties . You think that guy you sit next to in church looks like Iggy and regularly try and see if he is hiding wings . You suddenly hate science and all scientists (Actually no. I want to be a scientist when I grow up. I wanna be a space cadet.) . you try and see if you can breathe under water (Well... actually I sorta can.) . you get your buddies to dress up as the flock for Halloween . you think all angelic six year olds are demonic and can read your mind *shudder* . you jumped off your roof in an attempt to fly . you think that random emo kid at your school could be Fang and try and flirt with him . suddenly think blind guys are supper smexy . you want to go to Alaska (ANTARCTICA, WTH IS WRONG WITH THE PERSON WHO AMDE THAT?) . you are suspicious of all adult activity . you regularly check to see if you are growing wings... so far nada When was the best day ever in your ENTIRE life: Umm. IDK...when i was born i guess What's your favorite song: " Honey and the Bee" by Owl City. What are you listening to currently: "Ice" by Lights Do you like someone currently: Nope If you said yes, who is it: NOBODY. READ ABOVE ANSWER Schweppes or Canada Dry: Canada Dry Did you notice that Justin Bieber is a lot like DYLAN: Yes why do you think I hate his guts?. Did you notice that "Friday" by Rebecca Black sounds a lot like "Baby" by Justin Bieber: I do now. Who'd you rather be, The Beatles or The Rolling Stones: I have no clue. Do you own any weird nail polish colors: not really Converse or Nikes: Converse Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed or open whatever Do you take the shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotel? You always take free stuff from hotels Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? In. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No but I once saw someone stealing a street sign Do you like to use Post-It notes? depends Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? What are these "coupuns" you humans speak of? Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bear read the hunger games and i'm not really fond of bees any more. Do you have freckles? in the summer you can really see them Do you always smile for pictures? depends. What is your biggest pet peeve? when people won't shut up Do you ever count your steps when you walk? sometimes Have you ever peed in the woods? no but I peed in a maze once but for the record i was like 5. What about pooped in the woods? No that just wrong Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? all the time Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yupperoonie How many people have you slept with this week? what's it to you...perv What size is your bed? what genius came up with these questions? What is your Song of the week? Animal by Neon Trees Is it okay for guys to wear pink? I guess i'm not one to judge Do you still watch cartoons? duh Whats your least favorite movie? who knows? Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? i don't know What do you drink with dinner? water What do you dip a chicken nugget in? barbeque sauce What is your favorite food? that's easy mangos What movies could you watch over and over and still love? the hunger games Last person you kissed/kissed you? no one Were you ever a boy/girl scout? yes Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Never and EVER!. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? *SHRUGS*. Can you change the oil on a car? YAH MY DAD'S A MECHANIC Ever gotten a speeding ticket? nope Ran out of gas? no Favorite kind of sandwich? I don't know the regular kind? Best thing to eat for breakfast? bacon cause who doesn't like bacon? What is your usual bedtime? Why whats your bedtime? Are you lazy? Yeah. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? lots of stuff. What is your Chinese astrological sign? rabbits How many languages can you speak? 2 1/2. english, some spanish, sarcasm, and some sign language Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No Which are better, Legos or Lincoln Logs? Legos Are you stubborn? Meh. Who is better, Leno or Letterman? Neither. Ever watch soap operas? NO just no. Afraid of heights? Depends. Sing in the car? All the time Dance in the shower? yeah and i rock Dance in the car? tried and failed Ever used a gun? a water gun Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? who knows? Do you think musicals are cheesy? define cheesy. Is Christmas stressful? not really. Ever eat a pierogi? exuse me? Favorite type of fruit pie? pumpkin Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? firefighter Do you believe in ghosts? sure Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yeah. Take a vitamin daily? yes when i rememeber. Wear slippers? I prefer going barefoot. Wear a bath robe? yes. What do you wear to bed? Clothes. doesn't everyone :D FUNNY QUOTES :D relax. nothing is ok. 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." I love deadlines. I like to wave at them as they pass by Always forgive your enemies... nothing annoys them more. never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them. Do it... DO IT! Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliffs Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional... Kid, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. He who laughs last didn't get it. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. Got a problem with me? Solve it. :D MORE FUNNY QUOTES :D When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it. The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas... When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. Smile. It confuses people. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' Help, I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet! It's soo pretty! Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. The cops never find it as funny as you do. -If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened...yesterday Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it? When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile! If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. I know at least one person who would love to push me down the stairs. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. You can't spell awesome without ME! Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted. What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding. I'm an optimistic pessimist. I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it. I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive Don't try to out-weird me-- I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast ceral. You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. You're a special kind of stupid aren't you? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat. You say 'crazy' like it's a bad thing I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do, kill me? If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love and I mean love to read, put this on your profile. 98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile. If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs. If you can't convince them, confuse them. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. What happens if you get scared half to death... twice? Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. The dinosaurs’ extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling? When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk! Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. I smile because I have no idea what's going on! One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Whoever said nothing was impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there! I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me? Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them! I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned. I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead. Stressed is Desserts backwards :) Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you are 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. There's a light at the end of every tunnel...let’s just hope it's not a train. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? I am in shape...round is a shape. I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool. You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder. Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up. Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. Forecast for tonight: darkness. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?! I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water! Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking. Why can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? Where's the good in goodbye? Why are they called apartments when they all stick together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is abbreviation such a long word? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? When the guy first discovered milk...what do you think he was doing? My favorite poem evur!!!! White is the color of little bunnies with pink noses. White is the color of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky. White is the color of soft-serve ice cream in a cone. White is the color of angels' wings and Angel's wings. White is the color of brand-new ankle socks fresh out of the bag. White is the color of crisp sheets in schmancy hotels. White is the colour of every last freaking gol-danged thing you see for endless miles and MILES if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness- Wonder Bread, someone's underwear, teeth, you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself. -Maximum Ride The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turnPURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... I’m a female. Fe = Iron. Male = Man. Therefore, I am Iron man. Penguins can’t fly, I can’t fly. Therefore, I am a penguin. That LIKE A BOSS moment when you get the answer right and the smart kid doesn’t. Shower = the place of thoughts and decision making. Saying ‘and, yeah’ when you don’t know how to finish a sentence. Going into the fridge every 20 minutes to see if the food fairy has brought anything good to eat. If you can’t win an argument, correct their grammar instead. That awkward moment when it’s quiet in class and your stomach decides to make that dying whale sound. I renamed all my files “the world” so every day when I “save” the world I feel important. Every time I read “ROFL”, I hear Scooby Doo saying “waffle” I hate when websites ask, “are you human?” umm hello? I'm obviously a unicorn When you’re angry, your texting speed increases by a ridiculous amount. Got bored, so I logged off. Then logged back on, because I got bored. I don’t know what’s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you. “H3y, wh@t R y0uu dO!nq?!” Well, I’m about to throw a dictionary in your face. Stupid signs: On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (Now what am I going to use???) Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Not to be used in Children On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (...I thought you used a spoon...) On a can of bug spray:“Harmful to bees”. (I thought I was harmful to ants) On a life-saving device: “This is not a life-saving device”. (Note to self, don't buy from this company) On a TV remote control: “Not dish washer safe”. (So that's why it won't work anymore...) A New Zealand insect spray "Not tested on animals." (Obviously.. you tested it on insects, duh!) A Television Owner’s Manual "Do not pour liquids into your television set." (People really get payed for writing this??) A VCR box says "Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included." (How can you watch it????!!!!!) A can of self-defense pepper spray "May irritate eyes." (Really???) A can of windscreen de-icing spray "Spray works in sub-zero temperatures." (That helps a lot) A cardboard sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard "Do not drive with sunshield in place." (Well, that explains a lot.) A cartridge for a laser printer "Do not eat toner." (Awww... but it tastes good) A computer mouse "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." (Where did they get that idea...) A container of underarm deodorant "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." (Amazing.) A dishwasher carries this warning "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." (Oh...Srry kids can't play in there anymore...) A popular manufactured fireplace log "Caution - Risk of Fire." (What's it supposed to do...play music?) A rubber ball toy "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." (Isn't that why I'm buying it?) A sharpening stone "Knives are sharp." (You don't say!) A snowblower warns "Do not use snowthrower on roof." (And how exactly am I supposed to get a snowthrower on the roof?) A baby stroller "Remove child before folding." (Oh. Better go get little Bobby out...) A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (Darn.) An electric router made for carpenters "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (Shoot. There goes my quick fix to this cavity.) An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." (Okay... then how am I suppose to use it?) A rock garden "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." (Ah.) A Fruit Roll-Up snack "Remove plastic before eating." (That's why it doesn't taste good...) On a bag of Marshmellows: "Flammable" (Really? I thought they were fire resistant...oops...) how to tell if you have a bad or good boyfriend if he play sports more then hangs out with you, then -bad if he talks to you alot, then-good if he talks/texts you saying "sup beautiful" then -good if all he says is "hi" then -bad if he says he will take you to see any movie you want and then doesnt take you, then-bad he might be at a party with another chick if he says he wants to take you to Paris someday, then-good if he puts his arm around you around his friends, then -good if he is embaressed to, then -bad if he wears pink and says stuff like "dont be silly you" or has a gay looking hair cut , then-honey your dating a...GAY PERSON D: IF HE WEARS A PINK SHIRT THAT SAYS "CHICKS DIG PINK" -THEN BAD if he buys u a ring -never take it off ;) Walmart- things to do 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some toliet paper!!" 6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 7. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 9. While walking around the store, sing an annoying song in a loud voice. 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10". 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this stuff, anyway?" 15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 20. Put M&M's on layaway. 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!" 26. Toilet paper as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 33. Take bets on the battle described above. 34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. 35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room. 37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible." 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 40. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 41. Two words: "Marco Polo." 42. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc. 43. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics. 44. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them. 45. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions. 46. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 47. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 48. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 49. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie." 50. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 52. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 53. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 54. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 55. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." 56. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 57. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 58. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 59. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 60. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 61. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 62. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 63. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 64. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive." 65. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 40 Things to do in Class when you're Bored: 1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long) 2) Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Walmart has a bigger selection) 4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this) 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money) 6) Thou shall not get into fights. (Cat fight anyhow...just start them.) 7) Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off) 8) Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more) 9) Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "just do it") 10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (just leave'm in the middle) A good or best friend! A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, idiot?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run Bee with a capital itch run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions Friend: Will help me learn to drive Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Best Friend: Won't let me go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me Friend: Will bail me out of jail Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we messed up...Wanna do it again once we get bailed out?" Friend: Will go to a concert with me Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad" Friend: Asks me for my number Best friend: Asks me for her number Friend: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too. Friends: Fade Best Friends: Are Forever Top 10 ways to annoy Fang 10. ask him if he molts 9.tell him he really needs a hair cut 8.get Gazzy to impersonate Max saying that she loves him 7.when he and Max are on a date track down Lissa and bring her up to them. Have her say"Nick, I missed you sooo much!" 6.ask him if he knows how to use the English language since he never talks 5.have Max pretend to be dead and videotape his reaction 4.have him get on Fanfiction and have him read someof these embarrassing stories about him 3.stalk him all day and see what he does 2.run up to him and yell,"yes, he's mine! I got here first! I call dibs!" And the number one way to annoy Fang? 1.tell him black isn't his color. Top 10 funny store signs 9 Weird reasons to be late for work. :P Employee thought she had won the lottery (she didn't). Employee got distracted watching HAVE FUN! :D 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. 3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. 4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation." 5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder. 6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up. 7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful. 8. Tell them to put the crust on top this time. 9. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD. 10. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out. 11. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread." 12. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!) 13. Ask what the order taker is wearing. 14. Crack your knuckles into the receiver. 15. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you. 16. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented. 17. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up. 18. Change your accent every three seconds. 19. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper. 20. Start your order with "I'd like. . .". A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't." 21. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window." 22. Rent a pizza. 23. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. 24. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound. 25. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred." 26. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs. 27. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead. 28. Imitate the order taker's voice. 29. Eliminate verbs from your speech. 30. When they say, "What would you like?"--say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now." 31. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her. 32. Ask to see a menu. 33. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back. 34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay. 35. Order a slice, not a whole pizza. 36. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?" 37. Ask what the pizza place's phone number is. Hang up, and call again. 38. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting." 39. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired. 40. Ask for the guy who took your order last time. 41. Start the conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . action!" 42. Ask if the pizza is organically grown. 43. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair. 44. Be vague in your order. 45. When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time." 46. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order. 47. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry." 48. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade. 49. Put them on hold. 50. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders. 51. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond. 52. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?" 53. When you're given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math." 54. Order term life insurance. 55. When they say, "Will that be all?"--snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?" 56. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza. 57. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed. 58. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word." 59. Order a steamed pizza. 60. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it." You Know You’re a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. () You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. () You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. Your idol is a character from a book I am a book addict and proud of it! If you are as well, then copy and paste this on your profile page. 50 ways to fail an exam 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh gee, better get cracking," and scribble furiously. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!" 3. If it is a math or science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer or essay exam, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol. 4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril. 5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read the questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out sarcastically, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 6. Bring cheerleaders. 7. Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About five minutes into the exam, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture this semester! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?" 8. Bring a video game. Play with the volume at max level. 9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example, write "I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs". Be creative. 10. Bring pets. 11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes. 13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers. 14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. 15. Come down with a bad case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. 16. Complete the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For maths or science exams, try using Roman numerals. 17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she or he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. 18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay. 20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam. 21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes in. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. 22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..). 23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. 24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, swear loudly and walk out triumphantly. 25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts. You could threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink. 26. At some point during the exam, start crying for mommy. 27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him or her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper." 28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. 29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera," until they drag you away. 30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam. 31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over. While laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? 'Days of our Lives' is on!" 32. Bring a water pistol with you. Enough said. 33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to 'Jeopardy'. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to 'The Bridge on the River Kwai'. 34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam. 35. If the exam is maths or science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Work PI and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story. 36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield. 37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation. 38. Bring cheat sheets from another class (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." 39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip. 40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask him or her to work it out for you. 41. Wrestlemania. 42. Bring balloons, blow them up, and start throwing them around like they do before concerts start. 43. Try to get people in the room to do the Mexican wave. 44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room. 45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, and telegrams sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam. 47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. This includes desks, chairs, and anything you can reach. 48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. 49. Bring a musical instrument with you and play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, claim "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the student handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so". 50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor (name) Sucks." 40 more things to do in the elevator! Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, all of you just shut UP!' Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly. Sell Girl Scout cookies. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. Shave. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom. Do Tai Chi exercises. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, motion sickness!' Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!' Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends. Leave a box between the doors. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it. Start a sing-along. Play the harmonica. Lean against the button panel. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. Bring a chair along. Blow spit bubbles. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.' If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!' how to annoy people on an elevator continued... 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. CHILD OF ZEUS You like being in charge. Total: 7 You feel at home in the water. ] Total: 1 CHILD OF HADES You’re not that much of a people person. Total: 6 CHILD OF DEMETER You own a garden. Total: 1 CHILD OF ARES You often start fights. Total: 2 CHILD OF ATHENA You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. Total: 4 CHILD OF APOLLO You’re very creative and artistic. Total:3 HUNTER OF ARTEMIS You dislike boys in general. ( boys can be so stupid at times) Total: 3 CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS You have a way with tools. Total: 0 CHILD OF APHRODITE Every guy/girl swoons for you. Total: 1 CHILD OF HERMES You like pickpocketing your friends. Total: 3 CHILD OF DIONYSUS You’re the life of the party. Total: 0 Here are the twenty five best responses if found asleep at your desk! 25. "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!" 24. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!" 23. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!" 22. "You don't discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, do you?!" 21. "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day." 20. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 19. "Oh, hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands." 18. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to." 17. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper." 16. "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!" 15. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!" 14. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance." 13. "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend." 12. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?" 11. "This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress." 10. "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!" 9. "I was working smarter-not harder." 8. "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 7. "I'm in the management training program." 6. "The coffee machine is broken." 5. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!" 4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!" 3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!" 2. "Its okay. I'm still billing the client." And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk: 1. "... and I especially want to thank you for my excellent boss. Amen." Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!" Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!" Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity! At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Insist that your email address is: Xena_Warrior_Princess@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. Dont use any punctuation As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender. Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in stall 3." Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do." Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!" How To Annoy People On The Beach Ask everyone you meet, "Hot enough for you?" How To Annoy People Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatly if they would like their picture taken. SERIOUSLY READ THIS: In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant. Take Time To Read Each Sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line hahahah!! funnyness!! R.I.P.-Zoe Nightshade, Bianca diAngelo, Castor(son of Mr. D), Pan, Quintus/Daedulus, Lee Fletcher, and all of the other Demigods who fell fighting for Camp Half-Blood. They will never be forgotten Put this on your page if Fang asked you to marry him you would say yes and jump to the heavens put this on your page ºø„ºø„„øº„øº ºø„MAXIMUM RIDE„øº „øº ROCKS!!ºø„ „øº„øººø„º Can't you tell I"m obsessed with Maximum Ride. =D MAXIMUM RIDE ROCKS! ºø„ºø„„øº„øº LIfe Lessons 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you hear the voice in your head. Crazy is when stare at the ceiling for three hours thinking of what to put in the next chapter of your fanfiction and then forget what book it's based on. Crazy is when you run into an inanimate object, then kicked it, and said "Stupid ...!", then, later on, you went back to whatever you kicked, and apoligized to it. Crazy is seeing lamas and camels on a farm in P.A. and nobody believing you. Crazy is when you check the sky to see whether the flock are up there from Maximum Ride. Crazy is when you yell out your window to someone that looks like your friend, but really isn't. Crazzy is when you walk right into a poll and see unicorns. Crazy is when you stay up all night reading and then forget what happened. Crazy is when you refuse to undress in your room because the posters with celebrities staring at you make you uncomfortable. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! 1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11) 3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15) 4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13) 5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2) 6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12) 7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL 8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14) 9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4) 10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7) 11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6) 12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 ) 13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10) 14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9) (Put it on your page if you didn't laugh at this) XD Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you udnresotod taht werid ppragarh, tahn put it on yuor pofrlie! I DID! This is dedicated to all those awkward moments. That awkward moment when you trip over. . . air. That awkward moment when you realize that bacon is the main reason why you are not a vegetarian. That awkward moment when someone shows up in your dream and you can barely look them in the eye the next day. That awkward moment when someone you're not very close with is crying and you awkwardly look around, not knowing what to do. That awkward moment when you realize that you're more than a little obsessed with a book series about six flying kids and their flying, talking dog. That awkward moment when you walk into the wrong classroom and everyone stares. That awkward moment when you dance ballet on pointe and you scream bloody murder when one of your friends steps on your toes. That awkward moment when you're talking to your friend about someone in the hallway, then realize the person is walking behind you. That awkward moment when you miss the bus and get to the bus stop, and turn around and walk home like an idiot. That awkward moment when someone asks you for gum and you have gum but don't want to give it to them. That awkward moment when no one understands what you're trying to say so you give up. That awkward moment when you get shoved into the ballet barre by accident and think you broke your ribs. That awkward moment when you and your friends attempt the coffee grinder and fall on your butts. That awkward moment when you meow at a cat until they meow back. That awkward moment when you wear skinny jeans because it was cold this morning, but like 100 degrees after school. That awkward moment when you tap yourself in the face with a pen, not realizing you forgot to put the cap on. That awkward moment when you see your teacher in public and try to hide. That awkward moment when someone mixes up 'your' and 'you're' and you flip out. That awkward moment when you have to pee while watching your favorite show but can't tear yourself away. That awkward moment when you see someone waving to you and wave back, only to realize they're waving at someone behind you. That awkward moment when you accidentally over-spend on iTunes and only realize when your angry parents leave the bill on your bed. That awkward moment when your friend asks you to go with them to the bathroom and it's silent and you awkwardly hear them pee. That awkward moment when your dog follows you around the house for the sole purpose of chewing on your Snuggie as it drags behind you. That awkward moment when you realized you put something on inside out after your friend points it out to you at the END of the day and you realize you've been looking stupid all day. That awkward moment when you ask everyone around you to borrow a pencil, and no one has one for you. That awkward moment when you see someone staring at you, and turn away, but when you look back five minutes later they're still staring. That awkward moment when you realize that you've promised to room with five different people for the band trip to Hershey Park. That awkward moment when someone's telling you a story and you realize, halfway through, how little you care. If you have (a) annoying sibling(s), copy/paste this on your profile! Please read-true story (not me) I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: you can go on and forget about this or you can copy and paste in it on your profile. whichever you pick is you desicion! 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart Funny Story-Wrong email address: A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, P.S. Sure is hot down here. This poem is really touching so please read it. A drunk man in an Oldsmobile They said had run the light That caused the six-car pileup On 109 that night. When broken bodies lay about 'And blood was everywhere,' 'The sirens screamed out eulogies,' For death was in the air. 'A mother, trapped inside her car,' Was heard above the noise; Her plaintive plea near split the air: 'Oh, God, please spare my boys!' She fought to loose her pinned hands; 'She struggled to get free,' But mangled metal held her fast In grim captivity. Her frightened eyes then focused 'On where the back seat once had been,' But all she saw was broken glass and Two children's seats crushed in. Her twins were nowhere to be seen; 'She did not hear them cry, ' 'And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, ' 'Oh, God, don't let them die! ' Then firemen came and cut her loose, 'But when they searched the back, ' 'They found therein no little boys, ' But the seat belts were intact. They thought the woman had gone mad 'And was traveling alone, ' 'But when they turned to question her, ' They discovered she was gone. Policemen saw her running wild And screaming above the noise 'In beseeching supplication, ' Please help me find my boys! They're four years old and wear blue shirts; 'Their jeans are blue to match.'' 'One cop spoke up, ''They're in my car, ' And they don't have a scratch. They said their daddy put them there 'And gave them each a cone, ' Then told them both to wait for Mom To come and take them home. 'I've searched the area high and low, ' But I can't find their dad. 'He must have fled the scene, ' 'I guess, and that is very bad.' 'The mother hugged the twins and said, ' 'While wiping at a tear, ' 'He could not flee the scene, you see, ' 'For he's been dead a year.' 'The cop just looked confused and asked, ' 'Now, how can that be true? ' 'The boys said, ''Mommy, Daddy came ' 'And left a kiss for you.'' ' He told us not to worry 'And that you would be all right, ' And then he put us in this car with 'The pretty, flashing light. ' 'We wanted him to stay with us, ' 'Because we miss him so, ' 'But Mommy, he just hugged us tight ' And said he had to go. He said someday we'd understand 'And told us not to fuss, ' 'And he said to tell you, Mommy, ' 'He's watching over us.' The mother knew without a doubt 'That what they spoke was true, ' 'For she recalled their dad's last words, ' ' I will watch over you.' This message works on the day you receive it. Let us see if it is true. ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS. Pass this on to your true friends. Something good will happen to you at 11:11 in the evening; something that you have been waiting to hear. Do not break this prayer, post it on your profile! :D The fire men's notes could not explain 'The twisted, mangled car, ' And how the three of them escaped Without a single scar. 'But on the cop's report was scribed, ' 'In print so very fine, ' An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109. 'The 7 Second Prayer, Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves. 'Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless my family, my home, my friends, and me. Amen. ' Pass this message on You will receive a miracle tomorrow. He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare. This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, He saw me, and He asked: 'My child, what is your greatest wish for today?' I responded: 'Lord please, take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I love them very much. ' The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginning, but not its end. This is a true story: Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "Please God, why is My life always sinking? " Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high And the poor child was beaten As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless piece of s!" The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house Then quickly barged in Everything quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the little girl Lying dead on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms (add this to your profile if your against child abuse) Her name was Auroura Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrusted the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile. Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this. Mommy...Dylan brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to church , I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When dylan shot the gun, he hit me and many others, And all because dylan , got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my head, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the dead When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an saint, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my boyfriend I'm sorry I have to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye" My name is Tiffany I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can’t do a wrong I can’t speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren’t home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes I’m so afraid now I’m starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work. He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door He’s already locked it And i start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While i lay there motionless Brawled on the floor My name is tiffany I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me And you can help Sickens me top the soul, And if you read this and don’t pass it on I pray for your forgiveness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be effected By this Poem And because you are effected, Do something about it! So all i ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!!!!! She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said:'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?' The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.' Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?' The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.' Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair ?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.' Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. T he letter said: 'Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You'. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom ? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom ? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in th e Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that? Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me. If you would do this for your parents as well, please copy and paste the story this and add your name to the list: UniqueMelody, Crysteelia, DigiDestined of Balance, Jingo4754, Sgt.Nolisten, Angelito.Soldado, Uzumaki-Ricky!, silvershark94, ClaireShaneEveMichael, mnmdancin12,TheUltimateBookNerd, Sparklejane84, Brandflakes is the Name, My name is Nora and I'm seventeen, I am on drugs and cannot clearly see. Because of this my grades in school have dropped. I am very drunk, Sometimes I'm beaten up by some street punk. There are so many rules i've tried not to break, But I am so drunk that I can't stand up straight. I am so drunk , Most of the time I cannot talk. Maybe if my parents trusted me, they would let me hold a car key. One night I was out walking around, But there was a sound and then I saw a man who didn't want me in town. The man was holding a gun, He was not as bright He was like a Earth without a sun. My name is Nora I am seventeen, and tonight a man murdered me. Remember: Say NO to drugs!! Drug Abuse is very dangerous, so help make it stop.If you care at all about stopping Drug Abuse copy the poem and add your name to this list: Ice The Angel, Tiger Mew Mew, Jojo McDodd, Pixel Alice, Sirius Obsessed, alicefan4eva, Jacobs-Vampiress, Faith-Alexandra-Slaymaker, Kri5ti, aruano, Brandflakes is the Name Try not to Cry Mommy ... Johnny brought a gun to school, Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try, Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could, But Mommy, I must go now, the time is getting late, In memory of the Columbine and Virginia Tech Students who were lost The Maximum Ride Pledge. I promise to remember Max When someone has leadership skills I promise to remember Angel When I see something with gills I promise to remember Fang When someone doesn't talk a lot I promise to remember Ari When someone is forgot I promise to remember Gazzy When I see a giant bomb I promise to remember Dr. Martinez When I see a great mom I promise to remember Nudge When someone talks to much I promise to remember Jeb When someone hates my guts I promise to remember Iggy When I see someone blind I promise to remember Dylan When I see a face I want to grind I promise to remember Total When I see a little dog And I promise to remember The Flock When I see birds through the fog I promise to remember Maximum Ride Where ever I go" The MR Pledge #2 I promise to remember Max, whenever I must lead. I promise to remember Fang when I would rather not speak. I promise to remember Iggy, whenever something explodes. I promise to remember Nudge when someone just keeps talking. I promise to remember Gazzy when it just plain stinks. I promise to remember Angel when someone manipulates. I promsie to remember Jeb when someone is a traitior. I promise to remember Ari whenever life's not fair. I promise to remember Lissa and Brigid when they are a player. I promise to remember these, cross my heart, hope to sing, and take a chainsaw to my wing. Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us: 1. Being different is okay. 2. Even the little things can help save the world. 3. Red-heads are evil... Okay only the one's named Lissa:) 4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there. 5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world. 6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old. 7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy. 8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does not make you emo; it makes you Fang-like. 9. French is the universal language. 10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement... for height and Built;) 11. Count your blessings. 12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations. 13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices. 14. Fang has the power to sum up his and the flocks lives in 9 words... or a letter that can pour out 14 years worth of love:'( 15. Even a kick-butt, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes. 16. Never get hooked on Valium!! 17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!! 18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars. 19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie. 20. Kids are better than adults. 21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress. 22. The best cooks are blind pyros. 23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom. 24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done. 25. School really is an evil place. 26. Teachers really are out to get you. 27. Remember to flap. 28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders. 29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!! 38. You became a treehugger after reading The Final Warning. 39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride. 40. You want a talking dog... They are very cool you know! 41. If your anything like Max you will save your best guy friend's life on more than 3 occasions:) You know you're addicted to MR when: 1. You know what MR means first of all. 2. When someone says “the School,” you think of an experimentation building in Death Valley. Not an educational facility. 3. Max is a girl’s name. 4. You have a newfound respect for blind people. 5. You half-expect dogs to talk and sprout wings. 6. Looking out to the sky, you want to so badly spot six flying bird kids. 7. You’d kill to be a bird kid. 8. You’re neither Team Edward nor Jacob. You’re Team Fang. 9. You hate the name Brigid, Lissa, and Dylan. 10. You wish to own an E-shaped house in the Colorado mountains one day. 11. You’re still single because you want someone like Fang to come and sweep you off your feet. Literally. 12. You start to like Avan Jogia JUST because he’s going to play Fang in the movie. 13. Erasers are wolves, not school supplies. 14. You wish your mom was as cool as Dr. M. 15. You start to be skeptical of office buildings. 16. You develop claustrophobia. 17. Anything that is called “The Institute” makes you think it’s sketchy. 18. You only WISH you’re friends were pyros. 19. You automatically think of Fang when you see a kid dressed in all black. 20. You make a list of ways to kill Lissa and Dylan slowly and painfully. 21. WHY CAN'T FANG JUST BE REAL???? *coughs awkwardly* The Percy Jackson pledge: I promise to remember Percy I promise to remember Annabeth I promise to protect nature I promise to remember Luke I promise to remember Chiron I promise to remember Tyson I promise to remember Thalia I promise to remember Clarisse I promise to remember Bianca I promise to remember Nico I promise to remember Zoe I promise to remember Rachel yes I promise to remember PJO PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile! NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG! NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or I'll tell on you! NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: Would have this on their profile already You know you lived in 2012 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or MySpace. 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5. 11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did. I did. How to Tell if You're a Writer -If you talk to yourself. Copy and Paste this if you're a writer. Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
Write down the names of your twelve favorite Maximum Ride characters, in no particular order. 1) Fang 2) Gazzy 3) Max 4) Nudge 5) Iggy 6)Mr. Chu- cause his name is funny to say mr. chu, mr. chu, mr. chu 7) Angel 8) Ella 9) Ratchet 10) Dr. Martinez 11) Roland ter Borcht- cause his accent is hilarious 12) Total 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Mr. Chu and ter borcht? I don't think so 2. Do you think Four is cute? How cute? Do I think Nudge is cute ? umm I guess 3. What would happen if Eleven got Eight pregnant? ter Borcht got ella pregnant?!?! 1. ewww!!! that is just wrong on many levels 2. what a pedophile 3. isn't that illegal to have a sexual relationship with a minor 4. Dr. Martinez would probally go and hunt ter Borcht down if Max hadn't already have 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? Nope 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? Do you really want me to answer that? 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Iggy and Ratchet or Iggy and Dr. M... decisions, decisions i guess i rather have iggy be gay than Dr. M a pedophile 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Eight making out? Angel walking in on Gazzy and Ella making out. well she would probally be scarred for life 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. After Fang has left Max's heart shattered Dr. M is there to give Max her first talk about breaking up with a boy. 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? umm mabye one where Fang goes to Ella for advice about Max? 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Eleven hurt/comfort fic. ter Borcht tries to turn Angel to the path of evil. title: Turn this Angel into a devil 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three fics? probally 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? No 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? uhh... 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? probally something popish like Kesha or Miley Cyrus like Party in the USA or somethin like that 15. If you wrote a One/Six/Eleven fic, what would the warning be? Fang, Mr. Chu, and ter Borcht hmmm... Warning: extreme torture involved 16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? yesterday 1.Grab te nearest book to you, turn to page 81, Line 4. Dork Diares: Tales from a not so Graceful Ice Princess by Rachel Renee Russell " seven layers of lip gloss during the time she was" ugh don't ask it's my little sister's book not mine 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? t.v. 3.What is the last thing you watched on TV? Big Bang Theory 4.Without looking, guess what time it is. 11:47 a.m 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 12:58 p.m ... wow I suck at guessing 6.With the exception of the computer what else can you hear? Animal by Neon Trees playing on my headphones and my mom's spanish music playing in the backround 7.When did you last step outside? What were you doing? coming back from my dad's work late last night 8.Before you started this survey what did you look at? CakeIsAGoodFriend's profile page 9.What are you wearing? old pink t- shirt and red shorts 10. Did you dream last night? yes all my friends were there and we were at disneyland being chased by giant churros nad ...ugh i need to stop dring soda before I go to bed 11. When did you last laugh? reading some of my profile page 12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? pictures of my family 13.Seen anything wierd lately? yah there was this guy waiting for the bus and... nevermind 14. What do you think of this quiz? stupid 15. What is the last film you saw? the hunger games 16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight. What would you buy? my own library and a giant statue of me duh 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know. I can say the alphebet in spanish 18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? I would make april 17 give brandy free cookies day 19. Do you like to dance? yeah all the tme 20. George Bush: has a funny last name 21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Reyna 22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Xavier or Xander 23. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself. Hey what up stuffed duck hows it like sitting on my bed all day? Turn on T.V. What show is on? ewww commercials on the history channel Type your name with your elbow. b frzzA nxcd gby Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see? little sister if you can Raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too Can you raed favorite books: The Hunger Games maximum ride percy jackson the summer of firsts and last unwind enclave divergent series go ask alice gone series series of unfortunate events perks of being a wallflower Hush, Hush novels Fallen series The maze Runner and the list goes on and on... favorite artist: Hey Monday and Imagine Dragons Favorite Quotes: MAXIMUM RIDE- "Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Max-MR-STWAOES "Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX "I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES What's your name?" "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." -Angel answering Steve-MAX “They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing. “Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?” - STWAOES “And you're blind?" “Fang! Come Back!" I started pulling his hair. Shaking his head and shoulders. Hard. "Wake up! Snap out of it! You stupid jerk! I am going to kill you if you die on me!”- MAX- Fang “You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me. 'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director) “You are avake, yah?" said a voice in a horribly recognizable accent. “De tall, dark vun--dere's nothing special about him at all," ter Borcht said dismissively of Fang, who hadn't moved since the doctor had come in. “You stand out like a fart in a church.”- TFW Basically, I have two speeds... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.” StWaOES “Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked. “Fang: 'Man, You weigh a freaking ton! What have you been eating, rocks?' “Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule.” AE “You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. 'We're...freaking...ballet...dancers.” SOF "Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.” AE “What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!" “What happened to your tan?"--Fang “I love you Max,"Fang said..."God, Max I love you so much." Anna Sun Screen falling off the door; door hanging off the hinges Fire-crackers in the east; my car parked south Oh, Anna Sun! (Chorus) Oh, Anna Sun! (Chorus 2x) Live my life without Live my life without O, Anna Sun! (Chorus 2x) This house is falling apart (3x) I command you to listen to this song. It's Time So this is what you meant I don't ever want to let you down It's time to begin, isn't it? So this is where you fell I don't ever want to let you down It's time to begin, isn't it? It's time to begin, isn't it? This road never looked so lonely It's time to begin, isn't it? It's time to begin, isn't it? Ask me out and I'll laugh. Ask me if I like you as more than a friend and I'll ask, "Are you serious?" Ask me if I'm dating someone and I'll say, "Yes, my computer. We have a three-year-long relationship. Our anniversary is on Friday." Ask me if I'm busy this weekend and I'll think it over and say, "Well, I have a date with Ben on Friday. Then Saturday I have a date with Jerry. And on Sunday I have a date with Exercise. Mom set us up after she found out about Ben and Jerry. So, dammit, I guess I'm booked." Ask me if I want to go to the school dance with you and I'll say, "Sorry, but I already have a date with my T.V." Why? That's just how I roll. ;) If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. Teacher: You're late. Student: What do you mean? Teacher: You missed a whole period!!! Student: ... Are you telling me I'm PREGNANT? If you can picture yourself saying this to your teacher, copy and paste this onto your profile. :D SNOOZE ALARMS: SLOT MACHINES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : THE EYES: You feel sorry for me because I'm mad... And I pity you because you think you're normal. Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoes Can't stand me? Then sit back down Can't face me? Turn around Feel free to pm me or email me AND FINALLY... if you actually took the time to read all these, copy and paste this into your profile! Announcer guy voice: CONGRADULATIONS! You have finally reached the end of Brandflakes is the Name's profile! For completing this difficult task you win the very expensive big... FAT NOTHING! HOW AMAZING IS THAT! See you later alligators and in a whiles you crocodiles! - Brandy out |
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