Because other people say stuff way smarter-like than me...

"...the delayed fulfillment of a German sentence..." -Ian McEwan, The Innocent

"If I knew anything about Sigmund Freud and psychoanalysis I'd be able to trace all my troubles to my miserable childhood in Ireland. That miserable childhood deprived me of self-esteem, triggered spasms of self pity, paralyzed my emotions, made me cranky, envious and disrespectful of authority, retarded my development, crippled my doings with the opposite sex, kept me from rising in the world and made me unfit, almost, for human society. How I became a teacher at all and remained one is a miracle and I have to give myself full marks for surviving all those years in the classrooms of New York." -Frank McCourt, Teacher Man

"You'd be better off as a cop. At least you'd have a gun or a stick to defend yourself. A teacher has nothing but his mouth. If you don't learn to love it, you'll wriggle in a corner of hell." -Frank McCourt, Teacher Man

"Many people --many nations-- can find themselves holding, more or less wittingly, that 'every stranger is an enemy'...But when this does come about, when the unspoken dogma becomes the major premiss in a syllogism, then, at the end of the chain, there is the Lager." -Primo Levi, Survival in Auschwitz

I've been doing this for twenty-five minutes and I could go another twenty-five minutes. I'm not proud, or tired." -Arlo Guthrie, "Alice's Restuarant"

"He's a Beatle, Mother!" -Janis Joplin, personal letters

And because it is always fun to cuss someone out in another language:

"Ikh vel im bagrobn in dr'erd vi an oyster" or "I'll bury him like treasure in the ground"

"Sibe dir in ponim" or "May an accident befall your face"

"Got zol dir helfn, zolst shtendik zayn gezunt un shtark, un shtendik, fregn vos far a veter esiz in droysen" or "May God help, you should always be healthy and strong and always asking what the weather is like outside (from inside your padded room/jail cell)"

-Michael Wex, Born to Kvetch