Who I Have Become

In 6th grade, my history teacher assigned our class to write a short piece of historical fiction taking place in any period of American History. I could hardly wait to begin, and as soon as I returned home, I started writing. For no apparent reason, I chose to write about an extraordinary woman who disguised herself as a man to fight in the American Civil War. The story became one of the longest and most interesting fictional pieces I have ever written. And perhaps it was because of a simple work of fiction that I became who I am.
When my teacher handed the graded story back to me, I read one of the comments he had written, "It seems like you have the beginnings of a novel here." At first, I just brushed the comment aside as a simple compliment, but after a few weeks, I said to myself, "Hey, wouldn't it be great to be the author of a book at age twelve?" And with that, two new interests of mine were born: writing and the Civil War.
As I researched the American Civil War to make my story more accurate, it became increasingly interesting to me. I was fascinated to learn about such a complex period in history that had taken place on American soil. I became incredibly dedicated to my research, and sometimes my homework would be left undone because I had found a new source of information. Since my story was about a woman soldier, I spent most of my time trying to find information on women soldiers in the Civil War. Their stories were fascinating, and because they were so difficult to find, I always got a thrill when I came across the name of one of the few women who fought in the Civil War.
I wildly looked wherever I could to find new information. I bought books, searched the Internet, and went to three different branches of the New York Public Library. I even went as far as Washington D.C. to do research at the Library of Congress and the National Archives. I built a website where I posted my findings, and I soon received e-mails from college students begging me to help them with their research.
At the same time that I was developing an interest in the Civil War, writing became a new interest as well. Whenever my English teacher assigned us to write a story, I would write a continuation of my original story. By the time I reached the middle of 8th Grade, I had written more than 200 pages of historical fiction. And I didn't just write more of my Civil War story. I entered a Johns Hopkins writing program, and wrote about everything.
I would write about everything from my mother to my favorite room in the house. I wrote vignettes about riding the subway in the morning, how I hate wearing shoes, and even things I remembered from my early childhood. Once, I wrote a single story from three different perspectives--my own, my mother's, and a dog's. One of these three was even published in the Trinity Enquirer. Writing for me was fun and enjoyable, and it gave me a chance to express on paper what couldn't be expressed conversationally.
I spent nearly all of my free time rabidly researching the Civil War, or writing. While my friends loved to read the stories I wrote, they were not as enthusiastic about the Civil War as I, and would often make fun of my hobby. Whenever I would mention something new and interesting, they would dismissively say something like "That's great". Even my own father thought my hobby was silly. While he was a history buff himself, he kept telling me to "study another war", and bought me books about other periods in history and expected me to read them.
Whenever I met new people, they would ask me what I was interested in. I would always say, "I love to write, and I'm a Civil War buff." The people I was introducing myself to were perhaps not the nicest people in the first place. However, when they were presented with a person different from themselves, they didn't know how to react, except to point and giggle. And that was how I became the laughing stock of my Hebrew school, and the nerd at my summer camp.
At first, I had never felt ashamed to tell new people that I was interested in the Civil War. Most of the adults I knew--my mother and her friends--thought that it was great that I had such an unique hobby for a young person. However, the people that really mattered to me--my friends and peers--made me feel like my interest was something to be ashamed of.
As time went on, I began to hide my interest in the Civil War from everyone except my mom. I would also get upset whenever she gushed to a friend that her "daughter is interested in the Civil War and started writing a novel about it when she was barely twelve! It's about a woman disguised as a man so she can be a soldier! The main character is named Andy Davis! We even went to the Library of Congress and the National Archives so Andrea could do research! Isn't that wonderful!?"
I also felt embarrassed that she revealed my unconventional hobby to people that I didn't know. And in no time at all, my interest became my secret. I stopped talking about the Civil War; instead I discussed movies, TV and music, just like everybody else. As my hobby became a deeper secret, I stopped writing altogether. It seemed as if my interest separated me from other people because I had rather read a History book than gossip. As I increasingly felt ostracized for my differences, I hid my interest from the world, and for a while, I didn't think about the Civil War at all.
At the beginning of this past summer, I got a package in the mail from my Dad. When I opened it, I found a book-April 1865. Finally, my father had accepted my hobby. At the end of the summer I had some free time, for the first time in a while, and turned back to my Civil War story. I have tried to continue it, but I can't--my words are those of my 8th Grade self. I have also tried to write new stories, but I can't--Writers' Block. With the start of the new school year, however, I hope to be able to find new ideas for stories, and begin to write again.

~Andrea, 16
(please R+R my stories. Esp those that have none. they might be good! Who knows!)