Finished Fics (Please R&R!):
GDI, NOD, ETC. (C&C Tiberian Sun novel, Soon to be revised, Sequal en Route)
Who Wants to be a Millionaire DBZ style (1 Chapter; DBZ WWTBAM Crossover)
Somewhere (Original Short Story)
Monty Python and the New Job (1 Chapter, Monty Python)
The Starcraft Album (A compilation of starcraft songs; THE LAST CHAPTER IS A LIST OF THE SONGS AND WHAT THEY ARE PARODIES OF; AS WELL AS WHO WROTE THEM)
Fred (Poem, Jaguar)

Current Projects:
Abbadon
Heart of Gold
(The revision of)GDI, NOD, ETC.
Favorite Books:
The Two Towers (Tolkien)
The Green Mile (King)
Paradise Alley (Stallone)

Favorite 'book' character: Gimli (Lord of the Rings)

Favorite 'movie' character: James Bond, 007 (I'd tell you the movie series, but that'd be redundant!)

Favorite 'cartoon' character: Patrick (Spongebob Squarepants)

Favorite Celebrity Personality: Big Phil Maxwell

Bio of "Big Phil Maxwell":
Last year, on my trip to Glasgow, Scotland, I had the pleasure to meet a contraversial, yet wildly entertaining, Scottish comedian named Big Phil Maxwell; you see, he has a radio show on ATCO Radio, freq. 783.1, (I may publish his show on FF.N, as after the revisions, and the writing of his theme song, i was named his sole writer) which is on AM (And soon XM) radio, called "The Great Scott Show" where Phil plays mass ammouunts of AC/DC (That's really what the station is, the show is just a front) and has a show where he plays an overly-patriotic Scottsman, and will often refer to non-Scottish things as crap. In real life, Big Phil was born Marlon Phillip Maxwell, he stands six-foot-five and weighs 320 pounds (but it's all muscle, mind you) he is 27, and single, ladies: at his request, his personal ad:

Attention: Male seeking Female: Huge Scottish man who doesn't let anyone push him around, looking for woman who is or loves Scottish things, must eat haggis, must own at least 3 kilts, must play -AT LEAST- a little bagpipes, must love Braveheart, yet loathe the fact that Mel Gibson is Austrailan. Enjoys: Long walks on the beach, Romantic conversations, and bloody chainsaw murders.

Favorite bands:
Queen
AC-DC
ZZ-Top
The Eagles

Top 10 Favorite Songs:
1. Princes of the Universe (The Theme to Highlander) (Queen)
2. Roll On (The Living End)
3. Life in the Fast Lane (The Eagles)
4. Cheap Sunglasses (ZZ Top)
5. Paperback Writer (The Beatles)
6. Shattered (The Rolling Stones)
7. Stiff Upper Lip (AC-DC)
8. Money (Pink Floyd)
9. Where Do I Hide? (Nickelback)
10. Sultans of Swing (Dire Straits)

Other Great Songs:
Stone Cold Crazy (Queen)
For Those About to Rock (We Salute You) (AC/DC)
Hotel California (The Eagles)
Big Balls (AC/DC)
Any song by the Audio Amigos... More importantly, PERFORMED by the Audio Amigos, and WRITEN by Lazarus de Medci IV

History: I am a 22 year old italian man living in Tulsa, OK. (Sounds like a personals ad, doesn't it?) Among my other prospects is a band called the Audio Amigos (We work mostly parodies) For a complete list of members and benefactors, thumb through A Night at the Night Club (We earned a bronze record thingie for that one!!!) and it will be at the bottom of Ode to WWII. My best friends are Jim Schwartz, my drummer, Kasey Radament, my sitarist, backup vocalist, and inspiration for a coming attraction (Doppleganger), and member of my posse back in grammar school, Zelda Richter, niece of my accordion player, Scott, and the other member of my posse, And of course, my wife-to-be, Crystal Lake, who really knows how to push my buttons, thinks of things i never would have, plays cruel and inhuman practical jokes on me when i'm feeling down, and doesn't take baloney from anyone! On a final note, i should ad that im a hexalingual; i speak fluently the 5 latin based languages; English, Spanish, French, German, and Italian, and am studying latin at the university of Oklahoma.

Biggest Regret:
That I never properly honered the victims of Sept. 11th, 2001, though I had plenty of opertunities (Shame on me!)

Word of the Day:
Kapitelischweinen (German for: Capitalist Pig)

Song of the Day:
Hotel California (The Eagles)

Quote of the Day:
"What do you people think of flamethrowers? We have them... I mean, WE don't have them, the army does; but it occured to me that somebody must have been in the park, looked at some people, then thought to himself: "Gee, I'd sure like to light those people on fire, but I'm way too far away to get the job done!". Then, he mentions it to his friend, who is *good with tools* and about a month later he says: "Hey, remember that story you told me? Well, look what I made!" *WHOOM!* And then the army called him up and said: "Yes, we hear you have a flamethrower, we'd like you to make us about 500,000 of them; and be sure to paint them dark brown... we don't want anyone to SEE them"
-George Carlin (On Flamethrowers)

The Audio Amigos: A Breif History
Some final Biographical Information on me and my music

Author's Note: This was originally intended to be a story, but is posted here until it can be determined whether or not it is in violation of FF.N regulations

The Audio Amigos – A brief history

Some of you have read my songs, some of you were prompted here by my bio, some are here by mistake; but you are all here; and shall now read a brief history of the Audio Amigos, the respective artist of all my songs on FF.N.

The Amigos first began in August 1999; Lazarus de Medci IV (Me) had just moved to the U.S, and had decided to bolster his musical talents by forming a band; there were a number of responses to an ad put out in this respect; and after auditions at the Florentien House of Fine Arts’ American record label, Redneck Records, the band was named the Audio Amigos, by Lazarus; among other names was the Sexual Wieners; the lineup consisted of:

Lazarus de Medci IV: Lead Vocals, Rhythm Guitar, and Songwriting
Jeff Emander: Backup Vocals, and Lead Guitar
Kurt Fransisco: Backup Vocals, and Bass Guitar
Norm Calypso: Backup Vocals, and Keyboards
Jim Schwartz: Backup Vocals, Drums, and Percussion

Made up the main band, among other come-and-go musicians:

Scott Richter: Accordions, and Bass Vocals
Kyle LeMann: Brass, and Woodwind
Joanie Grudo: Female Vocals, and Improv. Transcripts
Kasey Radament: Backup Vocals, and Sitar

As well as the Major sponsors, Lazarus de Medci III, and Jamie Schwartz Sr. After beginning to get the feel for band life, they began to record their first album, “A Night at the Night Club” (Official Release: 2000) Which sold 9,000 copies in it’s first week on the market; despite this, they persevered, and went on to do a second Album, “A Day at the Day Spa” (Official Release: 2000) which sold 12,000 copies once released; after 18 months of band life, Lazarus began forming more mundane ideas, but tragedy befell the Amigos, as Joanie Grudo was killed in a car accident in Omaha.

Finally, the next year, they cut 2 new albums; The Starcraft Album, and the Diablo Album, (Official Release: 2001) both were based on games by Blizzard Entertainment; and so, sold 50,000 copies of each album to Blizzard to sell; by then, A Night at the Night Club had sold almost 70,000 copies, and a promotion for that CD was planned sometime in the future; In this time, they improvised lyrics for a live album, based on the “Whose Line is it, Anyway?” skit, Ho-Down, and the album was named the same (Official Release: 2002). On a trip to Florence, Italy, Lazarus met his future wife, Crystal, who were later married in Italy later that year; but the heartache was yet to come.

After a series of butting-heads with Redneck Records, Lazarus de Medci IV was finally allowed to release some of his lyrics on a Website called FanFiction.Net (Sound Familiar?). The Amigos planned a tour across Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, and Nebraska, covering only 17 concert dates; on their last show, in Tulsa, they were performing a number of hits from “A Night at the Night Club” when, during an intermission, Jeff and Lazarus had a violent clash; Jeff was immediately fired, and received a full Royalties Termination; meaning he could not collect money on the songs he helped put to music; Lazarus took over his position for the rest of the show, and the lineup changed immediately:

Lazarus de Medci IV: Vocals, Lead Guitar, and Songwriter
Norm Calypso: Backup Vocals, Rhythm Guitar, and Keyboards
Kurt Fransisco: Backup Vocals, and Bass Guitar
Jim Schwartz: Backup Vocals, Drums, and Percussion

In the wake of his marriage, Lazarus wrote a song about his wife, which featured a clip of his wedding proposal from a security camera recording; they recorded this song, and decided to make it a bonus track on “A Night at the Night Club” and re-release it, in October of 2002, and the promotional campaign was launched. “A Night at the Night Club” then had roughly 130,000 copies sold nationwide, so it received a “Bronze” rating (Signifying the sale of 125,000+ copies).

When in Glasgow, Scotland, Lazarus met a Scottish comedian named “Big Phil” Maxwell, and Lazarus was chosen to write and produce a radio show for him under command of Sid L. Fibbonacci, at ATCO radio, Glasgow; he receives the show, recorded, 90 minutes after it airs; they decided to join forces, and release an album of Scottish songs, with Phil on vocals, called “Great Scott”, and are also planning to release an album of serious rock songs (As opposed to their usual humorous parodies), inspired, and dedicated to AC/DC, called “Strut Your Stuff”

Lazarus de Medci IV and Crystal de Medci have no children, and have been married for 10 months.

Lazarus de Medci III has had 3 children with 5 wives in the past 25 years.

Live and Learn.

Ok, my stories are down here!!!