This is a series of oneshots that involve Harry believing that everyone in the 'magical' world is insane. Starts with Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall getting Harry, instead of Hagrid, and goes in random order from there. Involves much sarcasm from Harry. Feel free to adopt.

Harry is a nobody: he has no fortune, no connections, no parents. He doesn’t excel in his studies, nor is he talented in Quidditch. There is nothing about him that would cause anyone to give him a second glance. Until he’s bitten by a vampire. LV/HP.

Remus is tired. Tired of Slytherins, tired of St. Patrick's Day, tired of Sirius's antics, and tired of being in love with his best friend. Fluffy. Rated mostly for Remus's language when he's frustrated.

What Sirius wants, Sirius gets. But what if Sirius doesn't know what he wants? Written for isisanubis for her birthday.

Sirius loves to watch Remus while they study... But one day he's going to get caught. Sirius/Remus one-shot, set in Marauder era.

Has little to do with the song. Remus is dared to strip tease and lap dance a marauder. I tried very hard not to make it too cliche! Features Canon!Remus complete with male thoughts and DrunkenMumbling!Sirius

Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.

When Hermione walks out of Divination class in her third year, she is caught by a teacher wandering the empty corridors of the school… and not just any teacher, but Professor Snape. Attempting to explain why she is out in the middle of class, the conversa

Harry and Voldemort face off: who will win, the aliens or the ninjas? Total crack.

Sirius is deliberately annoying poor Moony.When Remus tells him off,he's slightly shocked by the response he recieves."What are you gonna do about it,Moony?" Sirius whispered,grey eyes sparkling mischievously."Bite me?" Oooh.For MisheruMishell RLSB SLASH

Crack oneshot. Malcolm Baddock fails at office warfare, and Harry teaches his desk to speak.

One Shot. AU. A marriage contract. They want him to sign away his freedom and his future and his life on a girl who didn't even attend her best friend's funeral. Harry has other ideas.

This is a Marriage Law Challenge with a onetinykiss twist. A mean brother, hyper mothers, overprotective uncles, stupid laws and a lot of fun lead our young couple down a road to a fated marriage. HG/VK !Complete!

For his 18th birthday, Remus just wants a nice cake, however Sirius is bound and determined to find the perfect present. Remus/Sirius

They had been absolutely daft to think their absence wouldn’t be noted. Sirius/Remus, Marauder-era. Warnings for slash, exhibitionism, language and explicit sexual content.

forbidden fruit: something that someone may want but is forbidden to have. Slash

At King's Cross Harry Potter made a choice, but he didn't calculate into his plan that Fate will have something to say about it. Robbed off his former memories he is robbed of his parentage and grows up happily as the only son of Sirius Black but then..

Um. The Chamber of Secrets one... yay

COMPLETE One story, seven chapters. Seven drabbles, seven hundred words. One father, one son. One engagement. One grave. Zero Dark Lords.

Time travelling, in Harry's opinion, was a lot like being pushed down the stairs in a towel; painful, unexpected and you inevitably end up naked in the end

Enchanted diaries bring solace to unlikely lost souls. It's a wizarding twist on the classic tale of penpals. What will happen when these mystery writers finally meet? HD Completed!

Harry is hired to break some curses at Malfoy Manor and encounters an evil chair... and a chocolatier. CONTAINS MATURE ADULT CONTENT, some bondage, chocolate abuse, and lots of kissing.

**COMPLETE** AU. Tensions are running high in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Everyone who knows anything knows something is about to happen. And it is in the midst of this that two unlikely people find a little more than a common ground...

*Complete* Wherein Harry asks the eternal question that has stymied males for centuries. “Hermione... How do you go about asking a girl on a date?” A 2000 word short-story.

Snape grudgingly answers the questions as a guest poster for the author's blog. Completely AU and ridiculous. Virtual cookies for every reader that reviews.