FINAL CHAPTER IS NOW UP...Edward discovers that Bella has a talent he didn't know about. He should have never told his brothers about it. Let the teasing begin. I changed the rating to M... still only innuendoes.

Ch.1: Edward faces his toughest--or at least, his most annoying--adversary yet, in the form of a two-year-old. Post Twilight . Ch. 2: Find out how Edward and Bella handle Nessie when she takes on some of Eddie's less charming traits. Post Breaking Dawn .

The really bad, absolutely horrible, astoundingly stupid fic. Rated T for safety.

“Spending eternity with a bad flashlight is not something to be taken lightly,” Alice said, her words riddled with cryptic vampirish meaning. “Forever is a long time to be stuck with a cheap LED light, especially when you’re awake at night a lot.”

The Cullens go to Africa to celebrate Emmett and Rosalie's 2nd wedding... chaos ensues. Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT! Stephenie Meyer does.

And you think you're uncomfortable around that time of the month? Try being Bella. Oneshot, written for a laugh

Reaching out, I snagged a fistful of his shirt and yanked it. Hard. As I did so, I gave him my demand: “Take off your clothes.” [BellaxEdward. NOT what you're probably thinking!]

Carlisle has The Talk with Edward so things are sure to go awry! The new chapter is finally here, thank you for waiting so patiently. Coming up next is Alice and Rosalie having The Talk with Bella, so stay tuned! Rated T for suggestive situations!

Just a regular day in Forks. No, really.

How does Bella get unglued from Edward? Find out and prepare to laugh! Complete for now...maybe I'll come up with more hilarity.

Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.