Finding out that a Half-Dementor exists, Voldemort kidnaps him from his mother to create his own army of them. But little Severus proves to be more trouble than Voldemort counted on.

Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.

Harry is about to start his first year at Hogwarts. With him comes his cynical, somewhat unofficial, not to mention bent on world domination girlfriend Mandy. And they're also bringing their mutual best friend i.e.: indentured servant the Grim Reaper.

When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!

Changed lyrics of Rockstar by Nickelback, in the point of view of my favourite Weasley boy.