19th century: Edward, the most popular bachelor, has to find a bride. One day, his mother forces him to attend an important event in hope to find an acceptable bride. No woman arouses his attention till he discovers one clumsy lady.

Bella uses Edward's laptop to start a journal.

She washed up along the river near his secluded log cabin with no memories. He couldn't just leave her to fend for herself, could he?

She smelled the same as every other human and Edward could read her mind. But Bella Swan was definitely NOT like every other human. All she wanted to be was weird. And all he knew was that she was anything but normal.Crackfic/Parody

Bella Swan, workaholic virgin at 24, chooses a night out with Alice and Rose to lose the virgin status. Meets 26 yr old Edward Cullen at the club. Will a one-night stand turn into something more? EXTREMELY SMUTTY! Rated M straight out of the gates folks.

"What if I can give you everything you've ever wanted?" It's an exchange of sorts. All of Bella's dreams can come true, but at what cost, and more importantly, is it worth it?

When the only job opportunity comes along Bella Swan's way, circumstances make her take it. Too bad she can't talk dirty; worse, she's falling for a certain nervous, stuttering caller. We can't always get our way or get our dream job!