Crack! Alternate take on Harry's fifth year. What happens when the disowned, slightly insane Squib son of Lucius Malfoy agrees to come back to Wizarding Britain to serve as Harry's bodyguard? Not a self-insert. Rated for language and innuendo, no slash.

Picks up as Harry is leaving the bank with Hagrid. A monster attacks Diagon Alley and it's name strikes a chord with our smarter hero. Harry works at freeing himself from his relitives and learns what is inside himself

Naruto must learn about something. Something that will change his life, and the lives of those around him. Whether it be for the better or worse remains to be seen but, either way, Naruto is going to learn about sex.

Voldemort knows the prophecy, when he is reborn following the 3rd task of the Triwizard Tournament he takes action to ensure that Harry is no longer a threat. AU. HPLL This story will be updated slowly so that I can finish my other stories.

A "tragic" accident leaves young Harry in the care of a relative that nobody knew existed. It seems Lily Evans had an Uncle named Edmund Bond who had a son he called James.

Over time, Naruto learns what it means to be Jinchuuriki. Final in 'Matters, Secrets, and Times.'

My odd ideas file. Little snippets that don't quite merit their own stories. Some funny; some less so.

In Goblet of Fire, JKR established that it was absurdly easy to bind other witches and wizards unwillingly into binding magical contracts with a simple, school-taught 'confundus' charm. What if Harry took note of that and decided to do something about it?

Hermione discovers the power Harry has that the Dark Lord knows not. Harry enlists the aid of a certain carbosilicate amorph, who lives to kill people and break their things. A most silly fic. Harry/Hermione, Ron/Luna, Neville/Ginny, Schlock/Noone

Karma is a Lifestyle and Naruto lives it brilliantly. Life is compensation as you can only take what you give. Watch Naruto deliver retribution...

Spurred on by a perverted ghost, Harry stumbles on a naughty, yet very special book. With the rituals found in this book, Harry gains power and leads his friends in the hunt for Voldemort's Horcruxes. EROTIC COMEDY

Xander's road trip takes him much farther then he ever dreamed possible.

Harry Potter has just received his Hogwarts letter, but really doesn’t want to go. After all, who would want to live on a planet? Especially one where the natives think nuclear energy is high science. And let’s not forget the 42,000 lightyear commute.

Traveling all 12 years of his life, Naruto has grown up close to nature and far from society. But when his sensei informs him that they're returning to his birth town, Konohagakure, he finds out that adjusting to the changes isn’t going to be easy.

Chaos erupts as victims pile... the best detective in Japan with a criminal pshychologist as her partner try to capture this elusive criminal, who seems to laugh at their every turn. Why is he doing this? What are the reasons of the actions of this Joker?

There are many stories in which Team 7 gets a sane, well adjusted sensei who helps them to become loyal, competent shinobi of the Leaf. This... is not one of them.

AU!Harry's brother John is the BWL, but in a desperate attempt to save John's magic, they undergo a magical transfer and Harry is left practically a squib. And what will happen when Harry as a squib is accepted at Hogwarts? HARRY!DARK!POWERFUL! NO SLASH!

Quoted for Truth: A feline grin settled on her face as she watched Unohana think about her words. That should settle that business. Hah, leave it to contract crasher Yoruichi to safe Ichigo from the evil that is an ....

Shinji is his father's son, and with a little mentoring from an unlikely source, he will learn the ways of plotting and scheming, along with a few other useful skills. Gendo is so screwed. And so is everyone else. Crossover

Xover, Doctor Who BG. Fed up, Harry attempts suicide, is rescued and shown a world more wonderful than he could ever imagine. Then he returns to face his former friends and so called destiny. NOT slash. Chapter 5 LLXHP in later chapters

A Happy Harry story attempting to join the end of book six to my story 'Clueless'. Shipping HP.HG.GW.DG.SB.LB.PP.PP. Minor ships RL.NT. I can assure you that Pansy Parkinson has nothing to do with any of the P. Complete - for now.

Naruto finds he is flung back in time and must repeat the entire Chunin exam over and over and over, until he gets it right and possibly saves Konoha in the bargain.

What if Vernon and Petunia were even more successfull in 'beating all that nonsense' out of Harry? A silly AU story of a nonpowerful, but cunning, Harry.

HP Discworld crossover. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts, but he's not quite what anyone was expecting, but what can you expect from a boy raised on the Disc?

An ongoing series of one shot stories exploring how Slytherin!Harry would have handled key moments from the books. Events will appear out of order, so don't be surprised if it jumps around. Small but important edit made to Chapter Five