AU. Harry and Ron visit the office of the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor to tell him where the Chamber of Secrets is. Everything Gilderoy Lockhart writes about himself is actually true.

When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!

Of course, Violet didn't know it yet, but the house was relatively safe. Besides a rickety bookshelf, a lecherous captor, mind tricks, peppermint, French food, anagrams, codependents, poems, secret visits, psychology books, poison darts, only one bed, a skylight, tea, secret letters, root beer floats, matches, guilt, and loving parents.

People may accuse me of being the wicked stepmother. Even though I happen to have a stepdaughter who was unhappy, that doesn't mean I'm wicked! I, Irene Williams, will clear myself of this unjust accusation. I will tell you the whole story of my stepdaughter Sarah, and you will agree that I am NOT the villain of it.

Role-Reversal Romance: Esmeralda pursues the Archdeacon of Notre-Dame, Claude Frollo, throwing both of them into crisis. Based on "Frollo and Esmeralda: A Love Story" Parts 1&2, to be found on YouTube.

Deception, disorder, distraction and devotion. Don't forget the jam, darlings.

There are three roads a growing witch or wizard can take. The first two are well-trodden. But this year, the world better get ready, because when the dark moon rises, the third path comes alive.

Let's have a little FUN this year, shall we?

A madman has escaped from prison? Are you sure you aren't talking about Uncle Fester?

Parselmouths, the Chamber and Lockhart. Well, well, well...

A little death can change so much. Delightful, isn't it?

He's done it. He's just five years old, but he's finally done it. The Dursleys are gone. And now he's with a new family who seems just as twisted as he is. How strange.