"If he's knocked up with your improbably-Asian looking love child, I'm renting you out to every nightclub in Vegas." In which Santana is the anti-hero, Brittany's logic is somewhat flawed, Klaine is so on, and the Warblers really don't get public school.

Quinn moves in with Tina for Spring Break while Mercedes visits her family. And if Tina and Artie can't get it together and make out already, she's totally aiming for their shoes when her water breaks. Quinn POV, with A/T and plenty of Kurt.

"I'm clinging to my last threads of sanity, hoping that you can drive faster than she can figure out the barbeque lighter." Brittany's happy that Kurt's back. Kurt's hoping her enthusiasm doesn't get them all killed. Blaine has no idea what's going on.

"Maybe it was best he didn't get out of the car. 'I'm dapper and charming and here are some flowers' didn't sound right." Blaine isn't nervous about a family dinner at Kurt's, except he totally is. Meeting Brittany for the first time kinda isn't helping.

"Seriously, Kurt needed to start taking vitamins or something. Almost every time they were on the phone, he would spaz out and start coughing really hard." Brittany really wants Kurt's help. Kurt really, really wants Brittany to put her clothes back on.

"Have a seat, Liberace," she commanded. "Your sheer terror is much more enjoyable when I'm towering over you, and frankly, I don't feel like standing right now." Coach Sylvester finds out about Brittany's newly developed self-esteem. And she is not happy.

"Kurt's cold must be worse than Brittany had thought—his skin looked all pale and clammy, and he even looked like he was shaking a little." Brittany wants to nurse Kurt back to health. Kurt wants to avoid a Brittany-induced trip to the Emergency Room.

"She really had to figure out how Kurt made his skin so pale in less than two seconds—it was a really awesome trick." Kurt would make Brittany's bad day better in a heartbeat. If only he could figure out what on earth she's talking about.

"You threatened to douse Kurt with honey and tie him to a tree in Bear Country." Puck is having a very bad day, and Tina owes him some cheering up. And if he were coherent enough to thank her, he still probably wouldn't.

"I have seen some horrifying things come out of the jungles of Vietnam, but this might just take the cake." Sue Sylvester sees Kurt, Brittany, and Tina in their Theatricality costumes. And she is not happy.

"Brittany marveled at Kurt's face as it went from normal to really, really white in about four seconds. Wow! He had to teach her how to do that!" Brittany wants to do something nice for Kurt. Kurt would like to make it out of the garage in one piece.

"'I'm fine,' she was murmuring, as Kurt—seemingly oblivious to the state of his clothing, for once—wrapped an arm around her back to keep her upright." The hazing at McKinley goes a bit beyond slushies. Artie is going to run someone down with his chair.

"Hmm, maybe Kurt was like, sick-sick, not just worried sick: His face was turning a weird color that Brittany was pretty sure was not normal." Kurt wants to break up with Brittany. If only he could be sure they were having the same conversation.

“I’m sorry. The sheer amount of cholesterol in this room is making me extremely irritable." Kurt is stressing over his Dad's new relationships. Tina just wants to help.

“We’re having a long overdue chat,” Kurt informed him, “a desperately needed conversation between friends.” Kurt wants to talk about Tina. Artie doesn't want to hear it. Sometimes, a little kidnapping goes a long way.

If there was one thing Puck did not know how to deal with, it was a crying chick. And physics homework. But crying chicks were a little messier, and a lot more likely to key your car." Puck runs in to Tina post-Wheels, and really doesn't get it.

Or, Why Kurt Hummel Is a Terrifying Human Being on Black Friday, and Blaine Anderson is Insane For Loving Him Anyway.

Or, "5 Times Where Kurt Hummel Got His Diva On In Public." Chapter Five: Kurt puts his natural gifts of fabulous taste and public correction to work on a grand scale, and finds himself in need of emergency backup.

In which Darren and Chris share a bed, Chris has a wet dream and Darren can't resist. PWP, really. RPF. R&R!

A handful of drabbles based on the Kurt and Blaine storyline in episode 3x17: Dance With Somebody. Just an inside, behind the scenes look to the little things we weren't shown during that episode.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Kurt was supposed to be in NYC living his dream, not rushing back to Ohio after a chilling phone call. Blaine was supposed to be finishing up his final year at McKinley, not unconscious in a hospital bed near death. SEASON FOUR AU

All Burt knows is that Kurt seems to be addicted to his phone, even though the person on the other line may not be his boyfriend Blaine. This is Burt's take on the week that changed everything. SPOILERS for 3x17.

Blaine is a student at Dalton Reform School. Kurt doesn't want anything to do with Dalton. What will happen when their paths cross?

Kurt wonders if he should return to McKinley.

Blaine discovers Kurt's hidden talent, and shares a secret of his own. Other themes in later chapters. Short drabbles of fluff. Klaine starting at chapter 8. Requests welcome. Ch. 39 up- Special Birthday