Frostbitten

by Corvixa

Tony lost more things to the ice and cold of siberia. That bunker has forged him, once again, in ice and then in fire. Returning to live, fundamentally changed, he hopes the family he cobbles together will hold this time. Broken people with sharp edges can come together to make something shine. Saturday Updates! (This is LONG , it takes them a while to meet)

13. Chapter 13 -Realisations and Reflections

Chapter 13

Realisations and Reflections

Barnes POV

21st September

Warning Flash of Torture

He stopped at his door, tilting his head to one side and listening for where people were in the house. After yesterday's fun movie night no one had complained about him hiding in his room but he knew that things were going to be extremely awkward today. As he was already nervous, the idea of sitting through breakfast with everyone.. Nope.

He turned and headed for his window instead, which was actually getting more use than his door lately, and jumped out. As he wasn't sure where people were today, he avoided all of the windows just in case and settled in for a nice quiet trip to Shuri's lab where he could stress over what they were doing today. According to Shuri they were finally done with the data draws. Which, yay for not having to see his life in torture as record speed, yikes that they were actually going to try and disassociate a memory today.

They'd spent a chuck of the last session picking one the system labeled as easier to disassociate. He wasn't at all surprised to find out what the hardest ones were. They'd apparently found the memories linking to the words, unlike all the other memories he hadn't realised he had, which when he saw a glimpse of them, they still felt like his memories. He'd had a little look at the memories with the words and it just left him feeling fuzzy and weird. Shuri had taken readings of that specifically for her partner, Anthony, to work with. They still seemed hopeful even though he was apparently more complicated than they seemed, any time he offered an out for Shuri he glared at.

'Silly White Wolf, the three of us will work on this until you say otherwise.'

When he arrived, Shuri seemed less happy than usual, but she seems to shake it off and smiles at him. He decides to let it go, she lets him occasionally be broody, so he could offer the same courtesy.

"You are going to want to check the security feed for last night's movie night."

"Oooh, what happened now?"

She grinned and dragged him fully into the lab, manipulating screens around him in a flurry he could hardly track until he sees the common room appear. With him and Wings happily reading.

"Oh nothing much. Just Wings found the video of Dr Stark and Laura at the Accords Council."

"Oh yes we are definitely watching this when we're finished. I'll send it to my brother now, is the little angry man talking about leaving?"

"Not that I've seen. Him and the Ved'ma vanished right after."

Shuri nodded, humming whilst she was cutting the section of the video to send to T'Challa.

"Oh, before I forget, I've spoken with Anthony again, he'd sent more updated code but isn't happy with it. At the moment he has several algorithms set, that will work with certain memories but he doesn't like that, he's a bit of a perfectionist but I agree with him. "

" I mean, would it be easier if I just used what he's already written, he's done a lot of work.. "

" He said getting this right would be the difference between you having to watch a memory 3 times or 300.."

" Ah, okay, Um, I'm okay with you both being perfectionists? "

Watching one of his memories once was hard enough, 300? He's not sure he could do that and cling to the dregs of sanity he has left. He also could not imagine his therapist signing off on something like that and for each disassociation attempt all three of them had to agree it was safe to try each one. His therapist had been concerned he'd just go along with anything Shuri offered, so she was there to temper them from running before they crawled.

"Well, he's asked for your permission to send more data. He still won't see any memories, it's just more information on your brain reacting. No confidential information."

He nods along, not entirely sure why they're stressing this point so much. Sure he doesn't really want people to see him getting tortured, but this Anthony was his chance to get the words out of his head! He was giving him everything. Was giving him a chance of actually living. He'd been wary at first, the idea of people messing with his brain, but he'd been reading a lot, Shuri had shown him the algorithms as they came in. He knew a few programming languages from requisite missions, so some bits jumped out at him, but they just seemed to flow in a way he'd never seen before that he lost track of time when he was reading them.

He knew the algorithms alone couldn't do anything to his brain, it was just the difference between retraumatising himself rewatching torture or eventually disassociating it. Even though he had never met this guy, he felt like he kind of knew him a little bit. He obviously cared a lot about making sure it was known he wouldn't be changing any memories. Which, true, he'd been brainwashed so it made sense, but this Anthony had put a ton of effort, handicapped himself even, just to ensure he didn't feel like he was being brainwashed again. It was comforting in a way. As much as a stranger can be, the notes in the code had made him laugh a few times too. So he was surprisingly fine with this.

"Yeah sure, anything he needs to make his job easier."

Shuri seemed slightly amused, by his answer? He wasn't sure but she sent a message, he assumed to pass on his consent before starting to set everything up for him. He steeled himself before he sits down, knowing they won't be diving straight in but also wishing they would.

"I ran our test memory over the now 9 algorithm variations, because of course he went and wrote more before I even had a chance to ask you about letting him see more data."

Shuri rolls her eyes and he chuckles, he's not sure how he ended up with two highly dedicated people willing to go to such lengths just to help him, but he's starting to accept it as a good thing instead of a 'I'm not worth it' thing. That didn't take much therapy…

He picked up the glasses and relaxed back as he went through the memories required to unlock the device, hearing a now familiar beep that he was done.

"OK, it's going to pop up an authorisation for level 2 data to be sent to the manufacturer about now."

He blinked because that was weird, there was like a floating box in front of him. He read everything over, explaining what it meant and it asking for permission. He really didn't want to flail around trying to press a button that only existed in the glasses..

" Um.. How do I say yes? It's like a floating box… "

"Huh. OK."

She grabs her phone and sends a message, luckily they don't have to wait long before a message comes through.

"Apparently you just think that you're agreeing to it? I swear sometimes he forgets normal humans use his tech and don't automatically think you can talk to it with your brain"

He couldn't help but chuckle as she muttered under her breath about infuriating, idiotic geniuses. He gives it a go and the box turns green before vanishing into butterflies before him. All in all. It's very surreal.

"Well, I think I did it right?"

"Yup, you're good, Holy crap that is a lot of information. That will take a long time to send. He wants me to run through a few scans of certain memories too apparently, you won't see anything, it's just to get more information. This bit might be boring, he said there is a screen saver of sorts apparently, to stop you getting bored."

He sat still as the scan was happening, it was tricky because he could not hear, see or feel anything happening. It was nothing like that data draws. The voice in the back of his head was silent but he felt a sense of amusement coming from it which was odd and he was really starting to get concerned about that. Whilst he could justify odd thoughts popping up, now he was getting feelings that were plain different from his. He'd wondered about telling his therapist or Shuri but he felt really awkward about it and was kind of hoping it would go away on its own. That's when the butterflies appeared everywhere and nearly made him fall off his chair.

Shuri ran over, obviously concerned but he waved her off because he actually really liked it.

"The screen saver? That, it startled me is all."

"Oh, I can turn it off?"

"No, no don't do that. I like it."

He has to practically sit on his hands not to reach out, but it was still good. What was odd was that they seemed to land on objects in the room which was amazing that the glasses could do that. He'd been watching the one on Shuri head when they all fluttered away at the same time. He bit back the complaint as he doubted these augmented reality glasses were designed to watch butterflies.

"He also told me that after a memory you can trigger the screen saver as a relaxation technique?"

He grinned, yeah he definitely would be doing that.

"Okay, got everything you need?"

"Yup, ready to start with Memory 42?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"OK, this is going to use the full projection around you instead of just the glasses, do you want me to leave?"

"I would like you to stay? But, Um, you shouldn't have to see.. That."

"I'll be okay White Wolf. I've read everything available when I was researching your arm."

He was slightly horrified at that, that she'd read it. Not because it was him but because she should have seen it. Part of him screamed at him to send her out, a selfish part wanted her to stay. The back of his mind wanted her to stay too. Shuri was comforting.

"OK, stay, but leave if you have too?"

She nodded and set up the large silver poles whilst he did his breathing exercises. They'd intentionally picked a memory that he already knew well. It featured in his flashbacks and dreams often. This way they weren't shocking him right out of the box with an unknown memory and he should get an idea if the treatment helped.

Another box came up, asking if he was ready to start, he knew what to do this time and the box turned green. Then everything got weird. Blue lights shot from the poles, connecting with each other around him and the lab and Shuri fell away.

"Shuri?"

"I'm still here, I won't leave."

That relaxed him because he hated this room. It was small and cramped and he only ever saw it occasionally when they threw him back in without the blind fold. 3 feet by 6. Stone walls that were always ice cold. The door was metal and not a scrap of light could be seen under the door. Even when he wasn't blindfolded, his superior night vision didn't pick up much. It was dim, dank and even the smell suddenly came back to him that he nearly retched. He was thrown into a sensory flashback that when something moved near his feet he let out a shout and nearly hurled himself back.

"It's OK, you're still in the lab, this is a memory. You're not there."

He closed his eyes and breathed before he looked down, because he knew what he'd see when he looked down. Himself with his hands bound behind his back. He knew knew what metal that was but his skin ran slick with blood and they didn't budge a bit. That blind fold wrapped so right around his face it made his eyes hurt and ear plugs they forced so far into his ears that they bled and he was usually left deaf for an hour as the damage healed. He fucking hated this room and they used it often as punishment. Since working with their little team, he discovered that it had been part of the brain washing to. To make him forget himself.

He'd planned what to do, but faced with the memory in fully, Vivid technicolour around him it was hard to do anything but stare, then suddenly he could move. He didn't know what changed, but something lost its hold on him and he could breathe. He suspected it might be the algorithm. He hoped his idea worked too, that he found show the other two that he could do this.

He knelt down next to.. Himself and started tapping on the floor. The reaction was immediate, even though he knew that this never happened. The version of himself on the floor backed into the corner and he just kept tapping. After a while the panicked breathing slowed. He didn't go big, just simple, they used this brainwashing to take away his identity. So he decided to fight that.

-.- - ..- / .- .-. . / .- .- - . ... / -... .- .-. -. . …

The figure shook his head but he kept it up. Over and over until he taped back.

.- ... ... . -

He shuddered at that but didn't let it stop him. He kept it up over bydd over until he got a tentative answer back.

.. / .- - / .- .- - . ... / -... .- .-. -. . ... ..-..

At that the memory phased out and reset. He went through it 2 more times and on the last time he felt more relaxed than before. Not overly, he was so in the room, but it didn't feel like it had the same hold on him, suddenly everything shifted to black and white before melting back into the lab, with him left crouching on the floor and Shuri beaming at him. A little box flashed 'MEMORY 42 DISASSOCIATED' and he stood, Shuri jumped up and down which meant she was dying to hug him but didn't want to startle him so he held his arms out for her to barrel in.

"You did it! You did it in 3 passes! That was so amazing! What was the tapping?"

"Ah, Morse code."

"What did you say?"

"Well the brain washing was all about taking me away, turning me into the asset. So I just said 'You are James Barnes.' over and over"

"What.. What did he, you, Um well the other you, say back?"

"First he just replied with 'Asset' over and over, but eventually he used the name, he asked if he was James Barnes and that's when it reset."

He grinned as the butterflies reappeared, Shuri left him to quietly come back like she did after all of the other sessions and he sat watching Butterflies follow her around the lab. Sure it was only one memory and he had decades worth. But it felt like a huge first step and he'd gotten past it.

T'Challa POV

22nd September

T'Challa had a headache.

It was a Rogue Avengers shaped headache.

Rogers had tried to leave the house 98 times. Had sent him 57 messages imploring him that he should be allowed to be with Barnes during his therapy. He'd responded each time that unless Barnes requested such a thing the answer would be no. Only to be told why Barnes couldn't make that decision as he didn't know he needed him.

Now the Archer was getting into trouble.

He'd started 8 fights with the guards and T'Challa had put him on house arrest. Wanda had taken to wanton destruction in protest of Roger's unfair detainment, she'd damaged enough things out of the villa that she was close to being put on house arrest. So far she'd not pushed it further, but he was concerned the more he gleaned about her abilities. They knew if she damaged anything in the house, it would not be replaced. So things had calmed down, especially that with both Steve and Clint locked down, she left less and less.

Barnes Therapy and use of Dr Stark's tech however was going very well, he wouldn't be perfect in a week like Roger's wanted, but his therapist was happy, Shuri was happy and most importantly Barnes was happy too. He knew things were tense at the house but Barnes liberal application of chucking himself out of windows seemed to be not only helping him evade his angry housemates but also amused him greatly.

Scott seemed to be doing fine, he was sending him pictures from around Wakanda and he'd met with him a few times when his duties allowed and he was even asking about the Accords now when they'd met earlier today, probably spurred on by the video they'd watched. He hadn't even known he and his father had been involved in their creation. As far as he could tell, the man had gotten involved in something without first understanding, as far as he'd known his idol and hero needed his help so he'd simply said how high. Sam also seemed to be researching the Accords quietly and had met with him about it. Neither had out and told Rogers this, but it was good to know that some of them had brains.

Shuri abruptly walked into his office, closing the door behind her. She looked very serious and it was quite telling that his first thought was 'what have they done now?' and not about his people.

"Tony told me more about Siberia."

He didn't know what was more shocking, that he had told her about Siberia or that his sister was now calling him Tony.

"I mentioned about him and Barnes potentially talking.."

He winced at that but stayed quiet.

"Because my idiot of a brother didn't think to tell me why that would be so bad!"

"It wasn't my place.."

"He answered with 'He killed my mom' and he just sounded so.. I don't know. Broken."

It wasn't great that she knew that, but maybe now she'd stop hunting for informa-

"But that's not all is it? One of his AIs, FRIDAYS younger brother, he thought I deserved to know what really happened."

Before he could respond she did something on her beads that loaded a video on his screen and he immediately recognised the bunker he'd been in back in July. He put his hand over his mouth and realised, for all his curiosity and want of the truth, that he really didn't want to watch this video. But he couldn't turn it off. Plus, the look on his sisters face said he was going to watch this video or suffer greatly. Maybe and suffer greatly... In his head he was just waiting for it to go wrong, when that vile man Zemo spoke it was hard not to snarl. Even now.

Dr Stark looked so different, sure he'd noticed the difference when he saw him in DC, but seeing him again here brought it up. Not just the bruise, he looked exhausted. He'd had much more life in him, apparently time away from his so called friends was good on him.

Barnes has said Dr Stark found out about his parents being murdered, and that he'd seen, but actually seeing it made it worse. With Barnes standing right there too. Rogers lying sparked off a fight that burned. Dr Stark did seem to be doing more damage to the bunker though as Barnes had pointed out, Rogers however was certainly not pulling his punches. He felt like this was some kind of punishment that he was watching this video. Even though he knew Dr Stark wouldn't do that. Shuri flinched with him when he used the shield to kill the arc reactor. Barnes words filtered into his head.

'I wonder how much pressure it takes for a vibranium shield to crack the power source of an Ironman suit. I wonder what that would do to a baseline humans rib cage hmm?'

Seeing Dr Stark trapped in his suit, unable to barely move as the super soldiers left. It didn't continue much after that but it was enough. He could see the structural damage in places, parts of him exposed to the weather. His brain happily supplied every agonising detail just like he suspected his sister had seen. Sometimes being a genius had drawbacks, in this case it added an extra layer of horror to this situation.

"I'm surprised he even speaks to us. With them here."

She didn't give him a chance to reply, he didn't have much of one anyway. He ran his hand over his face and wondered, not for the first time, what had he left himself get caught up in.

Like his sister, he also wondered how Dr Stark could talk to them. How he was willing to help Barnes. If situations were switched he honestly wasn't sure what he would do. Considering what he had already done…

Shuri practically stalked from the room and he had more survival instincts than to stop her.

Sam POV

26th September

"Sam.. I have a problem."

"What is it Scott?"

"We'll, I was looking for stuff about Hope and I found a video."

"NOPE!"

Fuck no was he doing this again!

"Ah come on man, your good at this and you know these guys better, everyone will be down for lunch in half an hour because they're delivering it. Here. Watch it and then you decide what to do."

With that the bastard ran.

He was right about the lunch though, when it was delivered no one was late because it was delicious. He loaded up the link he got from Scott and knew he was going to end up showing everyone right away. Stark was up on stage with a long line of empty chairs behind him, Laura stood to one side… And if he was right, Sharon Carter was even fucking there. Great. Stark was still wearing those odd sunglasses but in a different colour. After the last video he'd done a Google images search and discovered that whilst sunglasses were normal, these were very different to what he'd worn in the previous decades. That was quite a shift that puzzled him.

Scott reappeared with Barnes a few minutes later, everyone was a good 20 minutes early. He hadn't really watched the video yet, torn between wanting advance knowledge and just not wanting to know. At all.

"Ah guys.."

"Oh fuck you if you have any more bad news."

He just frowned at Clint while Steve signaled for him to go on.

"Well, it's just Stark has done a press conference."

"Oh play it, maybe he mentions our pardons."

Steve's optimism apparently knew no bounds, and from the incredulous look on Scott's face, it had nothing to do with pardons. He hadn't watched it himself yet but now he was wishing he'd taken the time to instead of brooding over it. Instead he cast it to the TV and decided just to see what happened.

Things couldn't possibly get worse that the Accords Councils video.

Clint and Wanda were muttering to each other about Stark, he didn't even bother listening to them anymore but he was amused at the look on Wanda's face when Laura showed up, which instantly had Clints rapt attention. Wanda was glaring at him, he noticed her eyes flashing red that had him cold again but suddenly she looked nervous and pointedly looked away from him. That was weird, he looked around and Barnes shot him a quick smile but nothing else. Odd. Stark's voice broke the spell and pulled his attention to the screen.

He was grinning wildly in a blood red suit that reminded him of the Ironman armour, but he suspected that was the idea. The sunglasses were a blue tinged silver, when the sun caught looked like the eyes of the suit too. It was a strange look that Stark somehow made work and he wondered why he was suddenly so interested in Stark's wardrobe.

"Well, I've not done one of these in a while. So, figured the first one should have me introducing you all to the New Avengers!"

"NEW AVENGERS!"

The shriek from Rogers, Clint and Wanda was painful, whilst Sam had pretty much expected this at some point, he obviously didn't know Stark as well as he thought, but he knew enough to have an idea of what he would do. He'd seen that letter Steve had sent. He'd begged Steve not to send it. Steve had told Stark the Avengers were his, so the man had obviously marched on, barely glancing at them in the rearview mirror and he couldn't find it in him to blame the man anymore. If anything he wished he was there, he loved being in the Avengers.

Now he was a criminal. A fugitive.

Steve called for everyone to be quiet as it was impossible to hear over Wanda and Clint ranting about how they're the Avengers. Because they'd been doing so much avenging lately.

"-fighting fires, chasing tornadoes, catching villains and generally pitching in where needed as well as the odd problems above and beyond what can be expected of the authorities'"

Steve was frowning and Clint jumped in, looking equally unhappy.

"What, have they just got the Avengers doing any old job now."

"I know, if they're bogged down with things like this how could they possibly get ready for serious problems."

Sam bit his cheek, because he knew if he said what was in his mind it would lead to an argument. Scott and Barnes were looking at Clint and Steve, minutely shaking their heads, obviously disagreeing, they didn't see however as their attention was focused on the screen. Wanda's scowl however made Sam think that she'd noticed. Which was ridiculous because surely the Avengers fighting wildfires and tornadoes was a good thing, especially with how such things were getting drastically worse each year. He wondered how many people and their homes they'd saved and felt more than a little jealous.

"So, first I'd like to introduce those who have not noticed, I found myself with a new PA, that over there is the amazing Laura Morgan. Between her and the charming Sharon Carter over there, who will be choosing who talks with Laura, is also my cousin, together they keep everything running smoothly! "

Clint just stared in shock and it took Sam a second to hear why. Morgan.. Not Barton. Ouch. He was more struck by Steve's face when Stark revealed that Sharon was his cousin?

"I didn't know Sharon even knew Stark.. That means Peggy.."

Steve looked slightly green, Sam didn't know enough to know why. Sharon gave Tony a huge, bright smile over his declaration. Which seemed to take some of the fight out of Steve.

"Now, I'm going to start inviting people on stage! Let's start with the co-leaders of the Avengers shall we? Carol Danvers, Captain Marvel, the reason why the Avengers were born, and my brother in everything that matters, James Rhodes, also known as Warmachine."

"That's actually impressive, that they have Captain Danvers."

Everyone looked at Barnes in shock, not expecting that. Barnes flushed slightly when everyone's attention zeroed in on him and he stammered out an explanation. Sam gave him an encouraging smile.

"She was on Hydras watch list, known associate of Fury. I don't know how much about her abilities is true.. But she is extremely powerful."

Having the Winter Soldier state she was extremely powerful with a look of respect had him looking at the cheerful tiny blonde in an entirely new light. He tried to focus on that and not the pain that stabbed through him seeing Rhodes in that chair. The man looked happy, but damn.

"Fury mentioned her, it's where he came up with the idea for the Avengers, I get why she's leading but why Rhodes? He's obviously disabled."

Sam, Barnes, Steve and Scott all gave Clint a look that had the angry archer looking guilty for a few seconds before he returned to scowling.

"Next we have Vision who I'm sure some of you might recognise."

As Vision floated in Wanda made a pained noise.

"Next, fabulously dressed, well, at least the cloak, is Dr Stephen Strange, some of you might recognise him, but now he's The Sorcerer Supreme and represents our new magical department."

Sorcerer Supreme? What the hell? He guessed that was something magic related considering there was now a whole magical department? Which shocked him because Stark was loud and very vocal about his distaste of magic. What was stranger however was Wanda's reaction. She'd gone utterly silent and stock still, eyes wide and breathing faster. Almost like she recognised the guy? Towards this man, that none of them supposedly knew. She also didn't comment on it. No way was he being the one to ask.

The way this new man casually dodged Laura, stalking straight up to Stark and thwacking him on the back of the head, and Stark's fond smile told him a lot. Mainly that he highly doubted this was a new friendship. It seemed… a little too familiar, especially for someone like Stark, who took quite a while to warm up to new people in his experience. He'd be pretty confident in saying that Stark had known him from before this civil war mess. He, however, was sure that he'd never seen him before today.

"He was on SHIELDS watch list. He used to be some hot shot surgeon, got into a car crash, vanished and returned as someone with unknown, off the charts levels of power. No matter who we sent we never got anything of the scope of his abilities. Drove Fury insane."

Barton chimed in this time, Stark was creating himself an incredibly powerful team going by these two new people alone. Danvers was powerful enough for Barnes to recognise her, Strange was powerful enough to scare SHIELD. Vision was already a 'flying heavy hitter' in himself. With the suit, if he could still wear it, Rhodes was just as heavy hitter as Ironman. Already the team was probably stronger than them. A captain to replace Steve. A magic user to replace Wanda. He refocused as Stark started talking again as the Sorcerer sat. The cloak seemed to move.. Weirdly. Against the wind. Stark started talking again however so he was drawn back to the frenetic engineer.

"Now, as a few of you might know, Stark Industries has recently partnered up with Pym tech, and one other company I'll get to later. Much to people's shock. Just to remind anyone, I'm not Howard and the delightful Hope Van Dyne definitely isn't her father. Aren't we all grateful if that! She is also known as the Wasp!"

"I still can't believe it, Hope man.. Her dad despised all Stark's.. "

Scott muttered under his breath, it had been an easy guess that she was going to be on the team as there were many pictures of her at the compound online, but a press conference did add a level of seriousness to it. Made it official. Plus, Stark Industries and Pym Tech forming a partnership outside of the Avengers? Yeah, there was something more there too.

He knew a little from Scott that Pym and Stark were practically sworn enemies. So seeing Hope skip happily to Stark, dodging Laura and her clipboard and patted Stark's head where the Sorcerer had thwacked him. She also gave him a kiss on the cheek and Sam was left feeling that again, that that was also a very strange action for people who had met potentially only since July. Sure, some people made friends quickly, but Stark was a very.. closed off individual, having two very different people be so familiar with him? Sam couldn't slip this nagging feeling that they knew each other for a longer period of time.

It was strange to be faced with the obvious fact that Stark knew other supers. Supers outside of the team, that he had also made no effort to introduce to the team..

Laura was smiling and rolling her eyes at the groups antics. Everyone looked happy and relaxed, even the sorcerer had a small smile on his face. He couldn't help but compare them to how they'd been.. And they looked more..

Connected.

He'd never really seen Stark like this either. Sure he'd seen the man work a crowd, handle the press with an ease that confounded him, but he was relaxed. Everything about him was just more at ease than Sam had ever seen him, he hadn't even realised how ill at ease or stressed Stark was until he saw him now, interacting with these people. A real, genuine smile on his face instead of the press smile that he was now able to recognise. He wondered how much else he had missed when it came to Stark and it was an uncomfortable feeling. Sure, he wasn't the Avengers counsellor, much to Steve's disappointment. Steve just didn't understand it was a conflict of interest, a counsellor must be unbiased, but Steve had refused anyone else being involved. With some of what he'd missed staring him smack in the face because he wasn't unbiased? Maybe he should have pushed Steve further. Again Stark's voice pulled him out of the depressing road his thoughts were taking.

"Now the next group is one that has been around before but has recently become affiliated with the Avengers, The Defenders with Hells Kitchens own Daredevil, Jessica, Luke and Danny Also known as Iron Fist. The other rich white boy and the 3rd in the partnership with SI and Pym Tech."

"What are you doing Tony? You already have a team, surely getting us pardons would be much easier than inviting all these.. strange people in without talking about it."

Yeah. Sam was just going to pretend he hadn't heard that. Without talking about it? Did Steve really think Stark would use that old burner phone to talk about adding new people to the Avengers?

He hadn't even realised there were other groups of Supers. Let alone other groups in New York. They were an odd collection, one man was masked and dressed in red, he guessed that was the Daredevil, very odd. The other three were dressed normally and he recognised the woman from one of the pictures he'd seen of Laura. When he'd seen her he'd noticed that she had almost a dangerous aura around her. Having her practically stalk onto the stage wearing black heavy combat boots, combat trousers, and a long sleeved dark shirt with fingerless gloves confirmed his thoughts. At a guess he'd say she was a fighter. Out of the other two, he had no idea. One was big, heavily built, the other, as he was at the end of the group he assume that was the Iron Fist? An odd name choice as be didn't look like he had an iron fist. He also looked young with his curly hair and beard, bouncing on the balls of his feet, excitable compared to the calm of the other man. He went to vere off towards Stark too, but ducked at stayed in line when Laura threateningly lifted her clipboard.

Even this team, that had obviously been together before joining the Avengers seemed to click well with the Avengers. Jess high fiving Sharon as they passed, grinning at each other. It seemed so easy, no one was left out on the side. Sure he was making these observations from a small pool of information, but how Stark seemed so easy with them was a drastic contrast in his mind of how Stark reacted when Wanda was on the team for example. Even before that Stark had seemed on the edges, he had assumed it was Stark's doing until now. That he kept himself separated on purpose, which had been why Steve hadn't called him in to DC.

"Also, we welcome back Black Widow who is currently on probation, but will be joining us as soon as she is able."

That caught all their attention, even Barnes who had just been watching peripherally as he didn't really know these people after all, it wasn't exactly of great importance to him, he'd not been an Avenger. The closest he probably got was Hydra keeping tabs in the Avengers, he'd wondered if Hydra had a file on him, he hadn't been with the Avengers before hydra fell, but he'd had the exo suit, he wondered what it would say but he hadn't worked out how to ask yet. Barnes attention was sharp on Natasha. They hadn't spoken much before he went into cryo so that was weird too. He was finding a lot out from this video today. All of it was confusing.

Nat flashed Stark a fast smile before she returned to her normal look. That seemed to cause a physical blow to Clint who had now pulled in on himself. Steve was watching her with a look of irritation, obviously angry that she had left them.

"Maybe she went to Stark so she could keep us updated on things at the compound, but couldn't because of the probation?"

It's weak, he knows it, but he felt like he has to give Steve something, Barnes incredulous look tells him just how weak it was but Clint perks up too. He just shrugged at him.

"Yeah, she's playing double agent. She's not really with Stark."

It didn't explain why she hadn't told them about it but if it stopped arguments for the time being, he was fine with them being delusional.

All the seats were filled now bar one in between Rhodes and Danvers. Putting Stark smack in the centre, flanked by the co leaders. He wondered if that was because Stark dealt with the press more or maybe just because he wanted to sit next to Rhodes..? Or if it was something else? He didn't comment on his position but he'd known that once the Avengers had been run by Steve and Stark. It had meant to be as equals but it had been obvious Steve felt he was the leader and Tony was under that. Now, Carol and Rhodes were putting him in the middle of them either as Co leader with them. It was entirely speculation, but he knew positioning like this was important, especially introducing the new team to have people subconsciously see Stark as the de facto leader, even though he hadn't mentioned his role. .

"Yup, that's everyone, I'm going to go sit down to now before that clipboard gets aimed in MY direction."

Stark looked happy, looking at everyone on his team, he still couldn't see the man's eyes thanks to the damned glasses, but he looked content. His body language was so different to Sam it was like looking at a different person. Probably because he wasn't the only one dealing with the press for a change, having his team supporting him. He knows he shouldn't ask, but he can't help himself. He wants to know.

"Why didn't we do this?"

"Stark handled PR."

"We had more important things to be doing than pandering to the press like this."

Steve just shrugs at him, uncaring of such things but considering Steve still occasionally acted like it was the 40s, he likely didn't understand the importance of something like this and probably compared it to the dancing crap he had hated so much. It kind of made sense why he avoided it. Clint snarls, his distaste in the idea obvious, and apparently that's all he's going to get, Clint also didn't have Steve excuse, he was a spy and should know how important this was.

Which is maddening because they should have done this! People should have gotten to know them. Maybe people wouldn't have turned on them if they had. Maybe the fear wouldn't have created the Accords if they'd just opened up. They'd disregarded people, and whilst Stark is good and he kept them running for a long time, even he can't control public opinion. In fact having a single member handle all restoration and public opinion was only a small step up from doing absolutely nothing. It showed a disregard for people and their team member, all at the same time.

Contrary to popular opinion on the team, he was only one man, with more than 1 job, something Steve forgot when he was unable to attend meetings or training at the drop of a hat. Sure, he was one man who often moved mountains, and Sam realised that they both overestimated and underestimated him at the same time.

Sharon pointed at a reporter who asked his question, it was a good one that he wanted to know himself. It just showed how important these things were as he already found himself somewhat invested. Hope chimed in instantly.

"How did everyone meet?"

"Oh I've know Tony since we were kids. Before our dad's fell out we were put together often and went to the same boarding school."

"Yup, I remember meeting her, I was waking up from a nap and she was looming over me and asked to play with my hair. Which would have been nicer if she hadn't already started."

"You loved it!"

"There was glitter for weeks!"

Scott looked almost pained to find out Hope and Stark where childhood friends. From when Hope was very young by the sounds of it. If Pym once was fine putting his kid with Stark, then at some point he must have thought highly of them? Surely.

"Who else have you known before putting together the new team?"

"I met Strange back in our 20s?"

At the Sorcerers nod Sam felt pretty impressed with himself for calling those two. Although he and Scott who was still dumbstruck, hadn't expected Stark and Hope to go so far back. He hadn't expected the Sorcerer either.

"I wonder why Tony never mentioned these people?"

"Yes, we came across each other at a Maria Stark foundation gala."

"You made the evening much more entertaining."

Sam isn't all that surprised when the man doesn't respond further, just gives Stark a smile. He looks like the kind of guy who wouldn't speak much. Rhodes jumps in next, with another surprise. Sam knew that Stark and Rhodes were old friends, but didn't realise just how far back the odd pair went. He had wondered more than once what brought such different people together, knowing they'd been friends for actual decades? That was impressive.

"I met these two at MIT"

Carol pipes in after, which seemed to be a huge shock to Clint. Seems like Shield was unaware of that connection and that Stark was much better at hiding things from SHIELD than they'd known. Sharon, Carol, a Sorcerer and the daughter of Pym tech? Yeah, that's a big oversight.

"Tony was 14 and had just drank 4 cans of Red Bull, Rhodes was 17, looking haggard and trying to keep the red bull from him. They looked entertaining so I just sat down at their table."

"It was strange because most people generally avoided the 14 year old in college."

Stark jumped in and his brain was reeling from THAT! What sane parent sends a child to college at 14 years old with apparently minimal supervision. Sure he knew he was a genius, but college at 14 seemed a bit much. Also that meant all 3 of them, Carol, Rhodes and Hope were Tony's childhood friends. Because 14 is definitely childhood in his mind, college or no.

"The young black kid caused a stir too."

"You both did. It's why I sat with you."

The questions switched to the defenders and they half listened and talked.

"I can't believe Stark went to college at 14, that's a bit strange, I mean, to put such a young child in an environment like college?"

"I'm sure Howard was looking out for him. He was a good man."

"Steve, still 14 and college.."

"Don't know why your so worked up about it Sam, his dad probably paid his way in and paid for his qualifications. Bought a wing of the college or something."

"Now Clint, Howard was a good man, he wouldn't cheat the system like that. Especially for his son, he'd expect him to work on his own merit."

Sam just raised an eyebrow at Clint.. Wanda looked irritated but that was nothing new when discussing Stark. Sure, he wouldn't be surprised if Howard dropped a lot of money, but it was a bit ridiculous to say he paid for his qualifications. He hadn't had many conversations with Stark, but when he did it was obvious how smart he was. Confusingly so, even when he dumbed it down.

He decided to see if he could find the man's qualifications on his tablet as colleges kept some online, easy to access, as Stark was famous he figured finding it would be easy, just searching Tony Stark Dissertation. Which it was… but he didn't find one. He found several different colleges too surprisingly but the most and oldest were from MIT.

Whilst that was incredibly impressive, maybe it was because he was looking at it from the point of a counsellor, he couldn't help but think it wouldn't be conducive to raising a healthy kid? If he was always pushed forward in school, maintaining a social group would have been extremely difficult until college where people maintaining friendships over different years or subjects was more normal. Which could explain the way he'd interacted with the team and why he was so close with Rhodes.

Information that would have been incredibly useful when he was trying to get the team interacting better with each other, 2020 hindsight and all. He'd just assumed Stark had little interest with them as he was in a different social circle to them. He quickly Googled his date of birth to see how old he was in '90.

"I just looked up his dissertations, he got his PhD after only 3 years. Several of them. When he was 17"

Clint and Wanda seemed to just not really care, Steve looked slightly impressed but he got the feeling the Steve didn't really understand how long most people spent in college from getting a degree, masters and then a PhD. Scott however looked utterly floored and waved his tablet so he sent everything along before turning back to the TV. Another piece of the Stark mystery falling into place, and yet again leaving him with more questions than answers. Barnes also looked quietly impressed and was tapping away on his tablet too. Interesting.

"After the picture of you surfaced from the hospital and your subsequent time in seclusion, would you say all this is worth it?"

Steve leaned forward as said picture flashed up on the screen, obviously overlayed by whatever network this had played on. Barnes immediately looked away as if pained and Steve paled too. Some guilt was evident on his face and it looked like his eyes were flicking back and forth from the picture to the sitting, smiling Stark before them. Sam just reminded himself, that whilst he might look guilty, he didn't regret his choices, he only regretted that Tony found out. Barnes however, there was real regret there.

"Of course. I always knew I could end up injured. The suit stops a lot but I'm still squishy. It has always been a possibility and it's never stopped me before now has it?"

That's got him a few chuckles and he has to say he was impressed. Sure he was human and was an Avenger too, but most importantly he wasn't a civilian. Stark was. The idea of being hurt in the line of duty was not a foreign concept to him, a rich man with the ability and resources to do pretty much anything he wanted? That he was still fighting after such injuries was commendable to him. Clint and Wanda obviously didn't agree, Scott was searching for stuff about Stark. Obviously now intrigued by the man but he stopped to enjoy the sight of Hope ripping into a sexist reporter going on about the Stark/Pym rivalry,

"Captain Marvel, Are you open to working with Captain America?"

Carol's face shuttered into unimpressed also as fast as Stark seemed to shut down, the media smile that Sam now recognised on his face and he leaned back. Effectively checking out of that conversation, Scott and Barnes also seemed to notice the change he thought, as they were both frowning slightly. He got Scott's interest in Stark, he'd been basically taught to hate the man and was now questioning everything. Barnes however, he wasn't sure why he had developed such an interest in Stark.

Everyone in the room was very interested in this question however, leaning forward in their seats. Steve was actually on the edge of his seat, wringing his hands in his lap. His words were confident but his voice was not.

"She'll have to, I'm the leader of the Avengers.

"Frankly? As of right now? No. I don't think he would be a good fit for our current dynamic. But if he was willing to put the time in, get up to date with the Accords, do the requisite training and therapy, then things could be reassessed at a later date. Getting into the Avengers is more ordered now."

"Now we have a system with several stages to assess competency, ability, skills, and team cohesion. You can't just bring someone home and decide they're Avenger. And when you're in, there is a lot of work and ongoing assessments, not just of abilities of physical and mental health. Bullying for example would not be permitted anymore. "

At Danvers and Rhodes words he saw Barnes stiffen and he was giving Steve the strangest look. It was obviously unhappy but he wondered why? He was too stunned that the new team had vastly improved support to analyse it, something he'd been desperately trying to do, but Steve had been extremely resistant about bringing people in for mental health assessments claiming that everyone was fine. Everyone was not fine. Their issues had issues. Their issues often clashed too.

What surprised him was Stark had apparently been listening to what he had said in those meetings, where he'd looked bored and checked out, and even more, that the man had implemented his ideas in his absence. He hadn't even known Stark had heard him, from how the others had described him, he hadn't thought Stark would care about stuff like that.

"What about the rest of the rogues?"

"Well, they're currently preoccupied being international fugitives, but if things change, if they fully sign and support the Accords, then their membership can be assessed. A lot has changed since the clique like ways of the Avengers. Now everything is official."

Steve looked angry, he obviously wasn't happy about the changes Tony was bringing on the team in his absence, but Sam couldn't agree with him. He'd thought it was a bit weird that he'd just been brought in and that was that. He'd been baffled to discover that nothing was out in to replace SHIELD. Stark had hired lots of people from SHIELD but Steve had refused to directly work with them because of Hydra infiltration, even though Stark had been extremely careful at insuring no snakes were brought in. They'd been pretty much relegated to clean up.

"So much paperwork."

Tony sighed dramatically but was smiling when Carol shoved him playfully and again he was struck by how the team were with each other.

Compared to them.

Even after the original split, they'd started to split here, in Wakanda where they were not even working. No high stress situations, basically on holiday and they were pulling apart. Scott and Barnes sat as separate from Steve, Clint and Wanda as possible whilst remaining in the same room. He was closer to them but also like a buffer too. Closer to Scott and Barnes. Clint and Wanda were plastered together in a single chair whispering and occasionally spewing hatred in the far corner of the room. Steve was practically separate from everyone… and he didn't even seem to notice how the dynamics were changing around him.

Sam noticed, again, that he did nothing to try and contain Clint and Wanda, even when they were being needlessly vicious or damaging. Steve was angry at T'Challa for putting Clint under house arrest for example, not Clint. Instead of telling him to stop picking fights, he excused it because of Laura. Same with Wanda, he excused everything she did because 'She's just a kid!' He wondered when exactly would she stop being a kid? She was 24! That's not a kid! He was meant to be the team leader but he never called Wanda or Clint on their questionable behaviour, which just encouraged it in his book. He'd noticed it on a smaller scale back in America, there was just much less happening here that he was picking up on it more, everytime he did however he flashed back on things he'd missed in America. Plus he was now here all the time instead of visiting family. God he missed his mom.

"Even so, things are much improved. In how we work and support for the Avengers back home and in the field. Ensuring everyone in the team is supported is extremely important to me."

He couldn't help but feel Rhodes and Carol were speaking to them, or, well to Steve. Maybe for how Stark has been treated by them? Instead of looking guilty however, Steve just looked angry.

"They're… They're making me, making us out to be a bully!"

"Aww, poor little Stark, trying to make people think he's the victim."

Wanda sneered again and Barnes was looking at Steve with a contemplative look on his face. That was it, Steve's extreme hatred of bullies. Being called one must be quite a blow for him, but it seemed like he was just getting angry instead. He looked back to Barnes who was tapping away on his tablet, still half watching the TV.

"This is to everyone? How is the team getting along?"

"It's been quite a good way to understand humans more, being around such a varied group who help each other, for even very simple things as well as the big. It's fascinating."

Wanda leaned in, hyperfocusing on Visions every word and not seeming to notice that he was taking a dig at them as well. He didn't know what happened there, but Clint had told them excitedly how Wanda had kicked arse to escape her prison. That Vision had been her guard. If they'd fought he doubted the android would have much interest in rekindling their relationship.

Which had actually severely concerned him at the time. He'd spoken to Steve about it several times that it was a huge red flag. Vision might look like an adult but he was painfully young. Steve had been adamant about leaving them to find happiness and had assumed that Stark had sent him. It had resulted in a huge screaming match between the two men that Wanda had gotten involved in, she'd thrown enough stuff at Stark that he'd had called the suit and Steve had berated him for calling it when there was no need. Wanda wouldn't actually hurt him.

He'd eventually taken it off at Steve's insistence and conceded the argument, but when Wanda had come up to him to say sorry, her hands and eyes were still glowing red. Stark had backed up and refused to shake her hand, much to Steve's annoyance. He'd felt awful for triggering it, Stark had vanished on important business trips for 3 weeks until Steve had practically demanded his return in case he was needed, angry he'd run off when Wanda had been trying to apologise. He'd considered saying something… but things moved on before he worked out what to say.

The sorcerers snark jerked him out of his memories and back to the video, they'd been discussing movies he thought but his thoughts had drifted to that fight. Like other things, he found himself looking at it in a new light.

"They're almost turning me social. "

"Ah, Mr Sorcerer Supreme. Is your cloak waving?"

The.. Cloak? Ducked from the glare the sorcerer gave it..

"Yes."

Watching a Sorcerer glare at his waving cloak made this all have an extremely surreal feel to it, they all started laughing good naturedly, even the Sorcerer was sort of smiling. Stark made a motion with his hand and the cloak jumped up, left the Sorcerer and flew over to him! That was extremely weird, he'd assumed that the cloak was being controlled by him somehow, but from his eye roll and Stark's smug smirk, he wondered if it was a weird sentient cloak?

Could cloaks be sentient? Why would you need a sentient cloak? Who would make a cloak sentient in the first place? These were all questions that he'd never thought he'd ask himself.

Sam wasn't sure when his life had verred utterly off the normal road but sentient cloaks were a bit much, even for him. Steve, and then Clint interrupted his thoughts on the cloak that he thought was actually quite fun..

"Is everything a joke to them?"

"Everything is a joke to Stark. That Strange has apparently been his friend for decades so they're probably the same, he just went and found himself a team of people exactly like him."

Whilst they were complaining and Wanda was joining in, he focused on the screen instead. The reporters seemed to enjoy seeing half the avengers crack up laughing, watching the cloaks antics and the interaction between the heroes had several of them laughing too. He had to admit it did make them all seem more approachable, more down to earth. Even with sentient flying cloaks, which was pretty impressive really.

Which was probably the idea.

The idea was obviously to get people who currently hate, or were scared of supers, to reconsider. From what he was looking at, he could see it working. They were real people and were showing that. He assumed that them working more helped too, instead of just waiting for big bads, they helped more.

The next few questions after a few more directed at the Defenders, were mostly about funding of the Avengers.

Which was when he discovered that Stark had been personally bankrolling them since DC.

That was a shock, he'd never really asked about funding, just assuming it was some group or the government. He knew Stark housed them and made their gear, but everything in the house, food to clothes was also from Stark, apparently so we're all the reparations and rebuilding funds except those he raised with his charities. The numbers being listed were in the actual billions and only him, Barnes and Scott seemed shocked and appalled by it. When it looked as if Scott was about to comment, Wanda had just glared at him.

"It's blood money anyway. It's the least he can do."

Billions of dollars.. That just shook him. He couldn't even conceive of money in actual billions! He'd never considered the price of their gear, of the compound, of their missions, the jets. Now he was and he was left feeling deeply uncomfortable with one fact. He'd never said thank you.

Now he wasn't funding the Avengers alone, it was a joint effort of Stark, Hope and Danny. They rejected government funding to keep the Avengers initiative private but for missions requested by the Accords Council, they did receive some wages based on certain missions brought to them that they could accept or refuse. The fact they could refuse missions was a shock, Steve's main argument was that the Accords would force them to do missions against their will.

"What if the rogues come back and call themselves Avengers?"

Laura glanced at Stark who had shut down again, he was still smiling but it was a little more stiff than the easy smiles they'd been throwing around earlier. Sam noticed that like at the Accords Council, he'd paled a little. No one in the room commented but Barnes had an oddly concerned look on his face. He hoped he wasn't feeling guilty for his part on Siberia, seeing evidence that Stark hadn't fully bounced back must be hard on the man.

He really wished that the reporter had not asked that question. Because he knew the answer would be hell for them. Scott obviously hadn't watched the video this far in as he'd been shocked before now so he couldn't get a read on what it could be. He hadn't expected Laura of all people to answer.

"They can't. Not legally anyway. Dr Stark legally holds the name and the civil organisation that works underneath it, along with The GUARD. Anyone else would be claiming it illegally."

"He can't just claim to have the Avengers!"

Clint looked unhappy but at the same time he shrugged in response to Steve's outburst.

"Sure he can. Fury effectively gave it to him. You were the team leader but he funded everything so it was his too. Fury figured that it was the best way to keep him invested in the Avengers, keep him from backing out. Shield could barely afford to equip us and you know our gear from Stark was better."

"But that's, that's not right, Steve is the head of the Avengers!"

It devolved pretty much from there Wanda and Steve attacking Stark for pretty much everything. About how he is stealing the title of the Avengers. Clint joined in for some things, but even he had to admit that Stark had a legal right to it. He thought back to that letter Steve had sent. He couldn't help himself, he was pissed and it was a low dig.

"You did tell him that the Avengers were always his Cap."

Steve had glared at him then before stomping off. Food arrived not long later and Barnes returned with it, which was interesting because Sam hadn't seen him leave the common room. Sneaky bastard. Clint and Wanda took theirs and Steve's portions before shooting him an annoyed look and stompoung off. He sighed as the 3 of the dished up and stayed around the TV. Looks like he was in the dog house.

The rest of the questions had gone by during the ranting and he decided to watch it again later without the running commentary. Barnes looked at them both hopefully.

"Can we watch Lord of the Rings?"

He couldn't help but grin and loaded it up, Scott was still searching for stuff on Stark and apparently found a website devoted to creepy stalker fan pictures.

"Cassie.. My kid.. She's there too."

He showed them a series of pictures of Stark, Laura and Meg at the park with a whole gaggle of kids. He knew that 2 were Laura's, 1 was Scott's, But there was a teenage boy and young girl that he couldn't place, that was weird. Well, it was weird seeing Stark covered in kids. Scott was looking forlorn at a picture that had Cassie and Lilah stuck to his back and the other girl was clung to his leg, head thrown back in laughter. Despite being weighed down by kids, Stark was smiling. Another picture had all the kids dog piled on him. He noticed Barnes looked equally as baffled.

The three of them had all been told a lot about Stark.

This.. This didn't fit with anything they'd been told.

Barnes POV

27rd September

He slipped the glasses of and took a deep breath. They'd ran through 5 memories today and disassociated 4 of them. After going through the last memory 6 times with no improvement they'd called it a day because he was starting to get nervous. He'd spent a good hour after using all the techniques his therapist had given him. He'd been listing things in the room the butterflies landed on as a way of grounding himself and he felt surprisingly good after.

He didn't feel awesome, he was tired and felt like he'd been through the emotional wringer, but at the same time he felt similar to how you feel after a long needed cry. They'd had several full sessions now and disassociated quite a lot of memories. He didn't feel perfect, but he felt.. Lighter? He'd gone from having nightmares every single night and barely sleeping more than two hours to having an occasional night utterly nightmare free. He was averaging 4 hours of sleep a night too, well, for the most part. There were still sleepless nights here and there.

He'd gone into this just expecting to get the word's removed, and whilst they were kind of stalled on that, the glasses were helping him so much already in such a short amount of time. It was amazing. He'd talked to Sam about it who was shocked for him, he was surprised at how much improvement he was making in such a short time.

Not that everything had been sunshine and daisies. After a session where he'd disassociated 7 memories, he'd gone back floating on air and out of nowhere utterly crashed. He couldn't get out of bed. He couldn't eat. He didn't understand it, he was angry at himself for being so pathetic when he had no reason to! It had taken his therapist braving Steve to come to the house when he'd missed their session to help talk him round, that depression didn't follow strict rules that because a day is good you'll be happy. Sometimes it hits when everything is great, and attacking himself for it had not helped. They'd talked for a few hours and she'd left when he'd decided to make little origami animals and bake cookies. He'd promised to not miss their next session.

All in all, he felt like he was doing pretty well. The only person who didn't was Steve. He was still against the therapy sessions, he was definitely against the mysterious tech that he refused to talk about. Maybe if he told Steve about the glasses it would help. Let him read about them? He doubted it, but it might be worth a shot. As far as Steve was concerned it had been 'ages' and he wasn't 'cured' yet, so Shuri's tech and his therapist were obviously useless and he should stop wasting his time and stay at home with him instead. He'd felt quite proud of himself when he had refused, said he was carrying on with it and it was his choice. He'd not even felt like panicking when he said it, he'd even stuck around instead of jumping out of the window.

To him, that was a huge improvement. To Steve it was a sign he was being manipulated and changed because Bucky would never disagree with him like that.

He knew Steve kept forgetting that he had all of the pre war memories back, because he could recall a ton of memories that were just Bucky and Steve screaming at each other like banshees because they could agree on basic things. It didn't mean they weren't friends, so why he was so against him now, he had no idea. Steve seemed to have this impossibly perfect version of him in his head and there was no way he'd be able to compete.

Thinking about Steve always made him conflicted, he was twiddling the glasses in his hand as he thought about him. Running his fingers back and forth the sticker feeling the change in sensation. That had been something he'd started doing a lot lately, looking for interesting things to run his fingers over. It had started with the braids Shuri put in his hair every morning and he'd now started collecting things. He had a shelf in his bedroom that was literally just different rocks with different patterns on. Steve would probably find it weird if he knew, but TicTac liked it, he occasionally brought him new things. Wings called them his pet rocks.

He'd also had 4 soft blankets he liked to just lie in. Feeling different sensations grounded him. At least good ones. There were a few sensory things that made him snatch his hand away. It was hard to explain that touching a certain fabric made him nauseated, but it did. He'd worried what his therapist would say but she seemed fine with it, calling it sensory seeking behaviour and as long as it was under control it was fine, it was a way of coping with his PTSD and apparently a pretty good way too, that had made him happy.

The sticker on the glasses was something he'd been using a lot since he'd first put the glasses on. Although looking at them now, it was a bit.. Weird.

They were a sleek light chrome and rimless glasses. Very modern, futuristic even. They looked expensive. The bright pink sticker was a bit out of place. He picked at the sticker, deciding to look underneath and maybe even take just the sticker back to his room or something. Maybe he could put it in his notebook that had now gained several large lists. The sticker didn't seem important for function that he could see, so he guessed Shuri wouldn't mind. He gently held the glasses between his knees before very, very slowly started peeling it off.

He didn't want to damage the glasses or the sticker. He was hyperfocusing so much that he didn't realise what the sticker was covering until he had it all the way off, and was happy he hadn't torn it. He had just put the sticker onto the first page of his book when he saw the little white Stark Industries logo staring back at him.

The glasses… the outside contractor…

This was Dr Stark's tech. Tony Stark.. Was the Anthony Shuri worked with. He couldn't believe how dumb he was that he hadn't made the connection between Shuri being friends with Dr Stark and knowing an Anthony who just so happened to also be a genius and made the glasses.

In his defence. It made no sense.

Why would Stark help him? He killed the man's entire family bar a cousin who was related to Peggy, who he remembered attacking! He'd done some digging around and discovered Peggy was Dr Stark's god parent, how was that for fucking weird.

The last interaction with Stark, he tried to kill the grieving man, well, they'd tried to kill each other pretty much.

'You are not this stupid.'

Oh great. The voice is back.

'You can't keep pretending I am not real. The Ironman was not trying to kill us. Even with your tupost'stupidity, we walked away from that fight.'

'Fine. But we were still in a brutal fight. I killed his parents, we fought and he was left to suffer alone. It was all my fault, so why would he do this?'

Not only has the man sent what looks like incredibly expensive, groundbreaking tech to help, he's still helping. The algorithms. He has no idea how long the man has spent writing those countless algorithms.

He's seen the code, each algorithm is pages and pages long. They're huge and each one is utterly unique every time based on tons and tons of data. That.. That is a terrifying amount of dedication to helping him. A person who doesn't even deserve a scrap of it but he's still helping?! He mentally nudged the smart arse part of his brain but doesn't get a reply. If anything, it seems even more confused that him! He gets a feeling that having someone care for it, even accidentally when it's really him, is not something it understands. He shakes his head, pushing that back because talking to the voice in your head cannot be a sign of mental health. Shuri thankfully brings him out of his spiral

"Ah, I see you have bypassed Dr Stark's super effective sticker"

"So this really was made by Dr Stark?"

"Yup, This bad boy is 100% Dr Stark. I'm just getting my head around it. It's not my usual area of expertise, probably because the man effectively created an entire new thing."

"But, Why? You said outside contractor, I just don't understand?"

Shuri apparently missing the meaning in what he was asking. He wanted to know why a man like Dr Stark, that he had hurt so profoundly, why would he help him?

"Tony was worried you would reject it because he made it, that you might miss the chance to be word free because of people's perception of him and what happened in Siberia. He really just wants to help you heal."

He just looks utterly confused because he still doesn't understand why. If anything he was just thankful Stark didn't hunt him down, let alone try to heal him. And it's obvious that he knows they're here, yet he's done nothing about it. They've not been arrested, nothing has happened at all even though Clint assured him that the second Stark knew where they were they would be dragged off to the raft.

"He was worried that your house guests would have you thinking he is a monster. Wanda despises him, Clint, he used to be friends with him but something was said in the raft that still weighs on him. He told me once that Rogers was one of his closest friends, he utterly trusted them, and he doesn't trust easily. So he knows them, and he was 100% sure they'd tell you he was the root and sum of all evil. At first I thought he was thinking the worst… Since July they've proved him right over and over. Wilson and Scott seem to be coming around however. "

" I'm still utterly confused. "

"He's constantly beating himself up that he is involved without your knowledge, it's killing a part of him, even though the man has put so many safeguards on it so you wouldn't be worried about someone changing your memories, it's ridiculous but adorable. "

He shook his head, he got all that, he was surprised at how much had gone into it just to make him comfortable, now he knows its Dr Stark he's even more confused about that. Why would Dr Stark care about his fears or comfort? That he was also stressing over the fact he didn't know? That was so completely mind blowing he just didn't know what to do with it. He hadn't known what to do with the care put in when the creator of the glasses was some unknown entity called Anthony. Now that person was Tony Fucking Stark, a man that had all the right in the world to hate him and want him to rot?

"No, no, I don't mean that. I can see the care gone into it, I've read the algorithms, it's baffling how much he's put into this.."

"I've noticed that when Tony decides to do something, he throws himself into it so it's done brilliantly, especially when it comes to helping people."

The pride in her voice is obvious but it still hasn't answered his question. This is supposed to be and egotistical, narcissistic man who only cares about himself who should despise him yet he's helping him. He has to wonder about Stark's sanity and mental state because he suspects if his therapist spoke to him, she'd tell him to stop it immediately. Surely this was downright masochistic.

"But why? He must hate me for what I did to him? The other night we watched that press conference, Wings found a dissertation he wrote when he was 17, in 1990. He was 17 or barely 18 when I…"

"Hey, hey I don't think he hates you."

"That doesn't make any sense.. "

"If he did, would he send this here? He's known that you all were in Wakanda the day he woke up from his coma and all he did was call me to collaborate and prank T'Challa because he was pretty hurt by his decision. If he hated you, you would have all been sent to the raft on the 7th of July."

He runs his hands over his hair he's so confused, he's heard a lot of Stark. Mostly from the rogues, a little from Shuri and it's been utterly contradictory. The Accords Council, Press conference and the park pictures, 3 outings he's made that he has evidence of since July and none of them line up.

"I need to think, and maybe research. I'm so confused but also extremely thankful that he's done this. If I write him a thank you letter can you send it?"

A strange look crosses her face and he's suddenly reminded of what Wings said the other night that Steve must have sent a letter and he guessed from how Wings had talked about it after they'd finished the first Lord of the Rings, that it had not been great.

"It.. It won't be like Steve's."

"OK, I'll send your letter. I think some research would be good. Tony is a good man, he helps and helps until he had nothing left but his old team carried on demanding more. I thanked him for listening to me rant back when he was in the hospital because these sound absorbing shoes I was making for T'Challa had a glitch. It was 2am in America, and he had sat helping me for 4 hours until I realised he was listing to the side and looked in pain. I thanked him and do you know what he did? "

"What..? "

"He froze. He utterly froze up before shrugging it off and thanked me for the chance to get involved. So maybe before you believe the team that he lived with for several years, that he housed, fed, clothed, bankrolled and made everything they asked for, whilst having 2 full time jobs, remember that the concept of thanks was practically alien to him. "

That. Sounded nothing like Steve... Steve wouldn't just take like that. With that and the fact he'd considered Steve a close friend, it just made everything about the civil war more horrifying and that he'd been lied to.

It started off with his best friend vs a self obsessed, uncaring volatile, angry man who stood for nothing but himself. That was trying to control the Avengers.

Then he keeps finding out more and more that make things seem off. This was like the glass flooding with little drops of water. He felt a need to find out more about the man, hopefully without coming off like a creepy Internet stalker. He knows that it will be hard, he'd done little checks and found out that he'd lived a lot of his life in the public eye and the media loved to hate him and loved to love him. Discovering the truth would be hard

"Before you go, now that you know who he is. Would you be willing for him to have more access to the data from the glasses? It might make it easier on him and bett-"

"Of course! Anything he needs as long as he's OK with it. He shouldn't have to be helping me anyway, I don't want him to feel he has to trudge through my brain.."

Shuri just rolls her eyes before smiling and nodding.

"Oh, do you want to know what the glasses are called?"

"I thought it was RFG? Retro Framing Glasses?"

"Ah, no. Because you didn't know it was Tony's invention, I cut a bit of it the name."

"Oh, so I wouldn't find them attached to his name online?"

"Oh no, because the name is utterly ridiculous and if I can't blame it on him I wasn't going to use it."

"So what is it?"

She's laughing and looking genuinely amused and he has to admit to being curious now.

"Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing."

"That does sound bad?"

"Hmm, it doesn't until you turn it into an acronym, then you get BARF."

He laughs at that, yeah that name is absolutely ridiculous and he'd wonders how on earth Stark came up with such a ridiculous name and adds it to his list of 'strange personality traits that do not live up to what he has been told'. Speaking of naming things ridiculously, he isn't that good himself considering what he has this list called.

He jogs out of the lab and makes his way back to the villa. Instead of going in however he takes off jogging towards the small forest very close. After the RFG, well, BARF sessions he liked to be alone when he didn't have therapy straight after and sometimes after therapy. Before Steve was on house arrest, he'd discovered a spot in the first because none of them would go in. About 20 minutes at a jog in, there is a little clearing. Big enough for the sun to shine in and is full of wildflowers he'd never seen before. When he gets there he moved to his spot, sitting on a huge rock and leaning his back onto a big rock behind him.

He pulls out his tablet, pen and a notebook. This however, unlike his wolf notebook, is just your average spiral notebook. He usually used it to jot things down, everything that comes to mind or that he sees or likes or dislikes. This from therapy, quotes, lines from TV shows, dreams, nightmares, recipes, pretty much everything. It was a good excuse to just write, which he enjoyed alone for the sensory experience, then he chooses what to put in his fancier book. It's a good system. It's also perfect for what he wants to do now. He flips to an empty pages and starts writing down what he's been told and what he's learned since waking up about the mysterious man whilst looking on his tablet for information about him and his life.

Self-obsessed, arrogant, uncaring -

Sent expensive (extremely!) tech to Wakanda just to help me. Has not stopped involvement even though he has no reason to help me and every reason to hate me.

Has written, at the moment, 17 very long, complicated algorithms and still wants to help more. Is willing to spend his valuable time going through data from my messed up brain.

Has not arrested us?!

Has not told anyone we are here even though he should and could probably get into serious trouble for hiding it.

When severely injured and exhausted, helped a 16 year old he barely knew.

Has so many charities I can't even count.

His company has won so many awards for employee satisfaction.

The minimum wage at SI is $15! Seems to care deeply for his staff and there are a lot.

Blatant adrenaline seeking behaviour pre Ironman seems more concerning regarding his mental health from what my therapist told me about jumping out of windows and off roofs.

Rude -

Found some evidence of this but the video was amusing, plus they were trying to take his suit so I understand.

Most evidence of him being rude is before he became Ironman and he decided to change and improve himself? Although still very snarky.

Many articles with him doing extremely questionable things, but have decreased. Several are from competitors however.

He's allowing Shuri to get all the credit for fixing his brain.

Dr Stark must have been working on this often. He could have stopped earlier and forced me to watch his memories hundreds of times, instead he is constantly working to help me avoid that.

That could have been an easy way to punish me. Yet he is bending over backwards to make me feel comfortable.

He only spoke to me a few times, hard to gauge rudeness. Just used nicknames I did not get.

Volatile, angry -

Attacked Steve and me in Siberia… but since he's dedicated himself to tons of work to help me?

Shuri says that Stark was concerned that I hated him for attacking me. That he feels guilty which makes no sense.

I'm still not sure he shouldn't have killed me.

Most evidence online points to sarcasm, even in videos where he is fighting villains.

Even against a man who calls himself Dr Doom.

After 3 minutes of him monologuing in the third person, I feel volatile and angry.

Selfish- Can you be a selfish superhero?

Steve says he only fights for himself but he's gotten badly injured so many times it actually terrifying when I bet not all of it makes it online.

At the Accords he spoke passionately about helping people?

Note mutant hate rallies are disturbing and what is wrong with people?

Has spent months working whilst severely injured to help people he's never met.

Found pictures of him visiting children's cancer wards..

Saved TicTac and Barton families, (maybe more?) even though they fought against him.

Seems to have hired as many ex SHIELD agents as possible and formed 'The Guard' after this Data dump.

The video of New York.. He flies a fucking nuke into a sodding space portal in the sky before plummeting to his death. Yeah. I'm just scratching this one off. WTF.

Unable to work with a team, abrasive -

From the press conference, he seems friendly with his new team, they seem to like him a lot? As he is on medical leave, there is insufficient data of him working with new team to form a conclusion.

In videos of the old team, he saved them on multiple occasions, catches Clint when he jumps off roofs.. As this is just mobile footage of idiots who stay in dangerous situations instead of running to film hero's when villains show up. Maybe I'm missing something?

He collaborates and works with Shuri often. Even though her brother is hiding us. She is also 16 and suspect most adults wouldn't work with someone her age.

The fact he froze when thanked makes me think that others on the team were also bad team players so information is sketchy.

Natalia for instance was terrible at teamwork, but that was how she was trained.

He taps his pen on his mouth as he switches to reading some older articles of Dr Stark, and jotting things down as he goes. Kind of like when he goes onto wiki and just keeps clicking something from each article until he ends up somewhere completely different.

Articles vary wildly, from a picture of him at four years old creating his first circuit board and how he would even surpass his father to pictures calling him a sex addict who will sleep with anything with a pulse.

For some reason that article about the circuit board leaves him with a cold pit in his stomach more than the ones about his sex life, of which the Internet really seems obsessed with. More than a little creepy. The Internet is freaking weird. There are so many websites talking about Ironman and Captain America in a relationship.. He's pretty sure Steve would have mentioned that.

From the circuit board article however it made him think about Howard. He knows it's bad to speak ill of the dead, probably doubly so when it was you who killed them… But from his memories he knew that he disliked Howard Stark. He'd also not understood why Stevie thought the man could walk on water. Even now he still saw him as a good man when there was a lot on the Internet that said otherwise. He was a womanising, sexist drunk who thought he was the best in every room he entered. He was also a bully to anyone he considered beneath him, especially if they were working on something he considered his area.

He never understood how Steve liked the man, yet hated bullies. He also could be cruel but he usually hid it well. He'd found himself mostly just smiling and pretending to like him in order to avoid dealing with him, he'd seen the guy angry enough to know to avoid it. In the picture with his kid, he really does not look happy at the idea of someone surpassing him, which does not surprise him. Even his son it seems. His wife is smiling brightly and that however does make him feel guilty. He gets a push from the back of his brain and realises Howard has what looks like a painful grip on the kids shoulder, but the disturbing part is the kids stood there smiling.

'We did the world and him favour.'

He ignores that because he seriously doubts having your parents killed is a good thing. From how Dr Stark had said 'He killed my mom' it was clear he had loved her. He didn't know what memories the thing in his brain had access to make it so sure of itself.

'Hydra posted surveillance on Stark's multiple times before extraction mission was issued 1991. Nearly every year I sat for weeks. Watching.'

It practically snarls at him, this is news to him. He didn't remember any of that and the BARF had knocked lose so many memories of his time with Hydra it was nauseating. He waited to see if it would show him a memory, like it occasionally did when he was bored, it's favourites lately seemed to be Steve hitting his head on a door frame, TicTac firing chocolate milk through his nose, Wings tripping over because he'd distracted him scaling the building, Shuri doing their hair, weirdly, Dr Stark disassembling the gun in his hand with a cocky grin on his face after catching a bullet. There were others too, it was a weird assortment of memories it seemed to be collecting and hoarding. He waited but when nothing came he went back to his research. He really shouldn't be acknowledging it anyway.

There isn't much else about his childhood until he turns up at college and there everything gets weird. Articles praising him next to ones showing him drunk and passed out in the street calling him an alcoholic.. At 14/15! Personally he thinks the article should be shaming who ever let a 14/15 year old get plastered.

After he's 17 those kinds of articles get much worse and more frequent and to him, that's his guilt written in black and white. What would Dr Stark's life have been like if he hadn't bashed Howard's head in, or throttled Maria? He wonders where Peggy was, and why she hadn't stopped this? He can't imagine the Peggy he remembers letting a 14 year old child, her godson, nearly killing himself with alcohol and gods know what else, repeatedly. It's surprising that he even lived long enough to nearly die over and over as a superhero.

The Internet seems to store practically anything and everything he starts to realise, with the same veracity for the serious, the bizarre and the utterly pointless. Like a website dedicated to pictures of Dr Stark's ties. Just, why? This seems especially so when celebraties are involved, and even more so when they fuck up. Sorting fact from fiction is near impossible.

It's merciless in its collation of information, and timeless in its storage, take something down in one place and it's back in 10 more. It's more like Hydra than Hydra could dream to be. Between what has been recorded over the years, people with a vendetta and people with a cause, with the SHIELD data dump thrown in, he notes that the kill count attributed to Dr Stark is very high. That's not including the shady dealings of his company that he was apparently not aware of.

One thing he now knows, is that there is a huge personality flip after Afghanistan. Where he'd been almost apathetic before. To make up for what he deemed as a lack of accountability when he inherited his father's business and continued it. Even when it nearly bankrupted him, but he clawed back and SI is doing better than ever it seems, with his old PA as the CEO which seemed an odd move. He noted that not long ago something bad had happened with the company, losing a lot of business, but he got it back on track without a single employee losing a job.

This is especially evident with relief efforts after battles that he's confused to discover only tend to feature him. He doesn't stop there however, he funds Med-Tech, agriculture, vaccines, building sources of clean water, schools... They aren't even all named after him, luckily for him, Dr Stark seems to have some obsessed fans who collected the proof for him.

He finds a video of Dr Stark, before Siberia, explaining how and why he invented the glasses, and that he tested it on himself like Shuri mentioned. It gave him killer migraines and the name BARF was literal, and until he solved these issues, he didn't move forward letting anyone else use it. Whilst he is thankful for that, he has to wonder about his self preservation instincts, as in if he has any, at all. After watching him hop in a racecar and the ensuing chaos on a shakey mobile phone video, he feels fine concluding that he has precisely zero self preservation. Shuri is right, the man needs a minder.

After that he finds his way to his accessibility range and his private war on insurance companies to make sure kids who need disability aids get them. It's not a great market to make money in, and with it being so small, things just cost more as they're niche. As a business decision it seems questionable, according to the many articles calling him mad for it. It didn't seem to have stopped him. Clean energy is ranted at for the same reason almost as much as he is praised. How he's installing arc reactors across the globe for free, with containment so no one else can tamper with the tech and potentially weaponise it, smart, Hydra was itching to get their hands on one, more searching for that he has to wonder if what he is reading is true in the SHIELD files, when it states he developed the miniature version whilst being tortured in a cave.

From what he could tell, SHIELD had known for years this Stane man was slime and what he was doing, supplying an addict with alcohol and drugs to keep him from noticing his shady dealings, that he eventually ordered an assassination that resulted in torture, where he created the first Iron man suit. He knows that is a short write up by someone at SHIELD and wonders how much hasn't been recorded. In fact the amount of kidnappings SHIELD has recorded for him is crazy itself, the fact many are listed as rescued himself too makes him wonder why? However, now he understands Hydra fear of capturing him, keeping him somewhere he doesn't wish to be seems very tricky.

That was when the thing in his mind surged forward, because this was evidence to back up his claim. Exiting the caves, Dr Stark killed nearly every terrorist in the base. But he didn't leave it at that. When he got home, he improved the armour, he went back and destroyed the ten rings, destroyed all their weapons and left the leader to be torn to pieces by those he terrorised.

'When he sets out to kill an enemy, they die. The Ironman's enemies do not live long when he turns his attention to them.'

He thinks about his hydra designation of Threat Level Alpha*, only approach if immediate capture and transfer to chair available. That a baseline human had the same containment notes as Steve or even Thor… and weirdly.. it has seemed excessive then..

From what he's read, Dr Stark knows betrayal, deeply, intrinsically. However, there are not many that have betrayed him still walking, except Steve and his friends. He doesn't even know how he trusted Steve after Obadiah.

'The man salts the proverbial bloodstained earth without so much of a glance over his shoulder.'

'All the kills, they seem personal too.'

He thinks back to the apparently creepily, overly dramatic, descriptive part of his brain.

Damit it but he needs to name whatever it is in his head because thinking of it as 20 different things isn't helping and as it seems overly interested in research Dr Stark, it obviously isn't going away anytime soon. For now he decides on Shade. He gets a feeling of a grimace back.

'That sounds like a pets name.'

Oh great, now it's grumpy over its name. Fine.

'Fine, I'll keep calling you it. Be quiet and I'll keep researching Stark.'

'Good, he is interesting. He is like a phoenix with red and gold metal instead of feathers.'

He doesn't hold back the eye roll and carried on reading about Dr Stark and weapons manufacturing.

He's pretty sure he isn't that dramatic and weird so why is something in his brain that bad?

He's not sure what happened fully in those caves, but when he came out he shut down all weapons manufacturing before he'd even healed. He can see the makeup covering the bruises and his arm is clearly immobilised. In one he's eating like he's barely seen food in months.

That gives him an extremely uncomfortable thought.

He stopped making weapons.

Yet he outfits the Avengers, personally creating their equipment, including weapons. Except Steve, where Howard made the shield.

After that declaration of no weapons, he can't imagine making weapons is easy? Maybe he felt comforted by the fact he knew whose hands the weapons would be in. They would be in his families hands, so it would be safe

How they then turned around and used them on him.

He shakes his head, trying to push that back because all of this is just too much information to suddenly learn about a mad he's barely met, a man that should hate him but is helping him.

'So, overly dramatic creepy voice, what is your conclusion on Dr Stark?'

'He's more interesting than you are right now.'

That's when he realises he's been sat for 4 hours researching the man whose parents he killed.

Feeling guilty, he shoves back the strange conclusions he's made about the man, and the frankly disturbing shit the voice came up with, into the back of his mind, flips to a clean page and starts writing his letter. dle it wrong, and I bet it would burn, burn, devour and destroy until nothing is left.'

'Please for the love of God, Stop. That is so disturbing. Who even are you. You're being creepy on purpose now aren't you?'

'Maybe, and maybe I'm you, just separate? Maybe you're a dick who keeps ignoring me?'

'You are not me!'

That's when he realises he's been sat for 4 hours researching the man whose parents he killed.

Feeling guilty, he shoves back the strange conclusions he's made about the man, and the frankly disturbing shit the voice came up with, into the back of his mind, flips to a clean page and starts writing his letter.