"I didn't think you'd be an early riser," Remus commented as he walked into the living room, where Sirius was up and fully immersed in something on his phone.
"You're not meant to be up this early on your holiday!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up from his seat on the couch.
"Habit, I suppose?" Remus gave a sheepish smile. He hadn't planned to wake up so early, five in the morning wasn't exactly the world's idea of a sleep in, but it almost felt like one to him. And anyway, as soon as he'd heard Sirius walking around in the kitchen, he'd figured it was rude to just let your guest wander around by himself.
"Well, you should go back to bed and sleep. SLEEP. Are you telling me that you didn't even laze around in bed for at least half an hour before getting up?"
"I suppose that's exactly what I'm telling you."
"You're a madman, a complete madman. An idiot in fact. It's the beginning of your holiday and you're not spending hours in bed! Ridiculous man!" Sirius was parading around, hands flung up into the air. Hands that were almost covered by the sleeves of the shirt he had borrowed from Remus. Remus who thought Sirius looked quite endearing, with his tired eyes, scandalised tone and too big top, he'd borrowed from Remus. It was all very amusing and certainly one of the best Christmas presents he had ever received before.

"Shit! It's Christmas!" Remus interrupted, eyes wide and almost frightened.
"It is indeed, but why is that shit?"
"Don't you want to go do all sorts of fun Christmas things? Go celebrate with your cousin? Friends? Party? I don't know, but surely you want to do something."
"Remus, it's five in the bloody morning, no one wants to do very much at that time. So even if I did want to go do all that, it would wait for several hours at least." Sirius stopped his parading in front of Remus, leaning against the couch. "But as it turns out, I don't particularly want to do any of those things, so there we go. Now, what would you like to do today? And is there any particular time you'd like me to leave?"
"What do you want to do? Nevermind me, I don't really care."
"Well, that would all depend on what you'd like to do," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes and propping himself up onto the back on the couch.
"Well, that's just very rude then, isn't it?"
"How is that rude? I just want to make sure you have a good Christmas."
"Well, I had planned to be alone, and thinking you'd never forgive me, so it's already much better than I thought it'd be," Remus's tone was lighthearted, but he knew that however he said it, it was a dark kind of joke.

By now though, Remus figured everyone knew exactly what his type of humour consisted of. Everyone including Sirius. So it came as a surprise when Sirius reached forward and wrapped his arms around Remus. It took a moment for Remus to react, and he finally knew why in movies people always paused before returning a hug. He'd always wondered about that, but now it was obvious, there were just some times when it was such a surprise to be touched at all, let alone hugged.

It was only brief, both of them stepped back, both with slightly self conscious smiles, though Remus wasn't exactly sure why because it certainly wasn't the first time they'd hugged since meeting. And god, it wasn't even like they didn't often touch. They'd both been delighted when they'd found that the other didn't mind physical contact, though Remus knew Sirius had been surprised. It wasn't often the shy ones that craved casual touch, and that was certainly what Remus was.

—

The morning had been significantly more comfortable after the hug, though Remus didn't know why. Maybe it was just confirmation that Sirius really did want to be there, despite what Remus would think. Nevertheless, he had been glad when they'd spent the morning talking about previous Christmases. Mostly it had been Remus telling Sirius all about James's attempts to get Lily under mistletoe, dating all the way back to when they first met. Sirius had stories about all sorts of pranks he'd pull at his parents Christmas parties when he knew he would get away with it. All in all, the morning wasn't short of laughter.

The laughter came to a halt though, when at about half past seven, Sirius asked about breakfast.

"So, what's the plan for Christmas breakfast? Do we have an abundance of red and green pastries?" Sirius asked, still sprawled across the back of the couch.
"I've honestly got no idea what the plan for Christmas breakfast is. I don't think I've ever really thought about it." Remus shrugged from his spot on the armrest. They'd both stuck with their theme of not sitting on furniture, or anything, properly.
"You've not thought about Christmas breakfast?" Sirius asked, one hand over his heart, the other pressed against his forehead. "I would have thought food was the main thing pastry chefs think of."
"The correct term is pâtissier."
"Fiiiiiiine," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes but grinning all the while. "I would have thought a pâtissier would think of food all the time."
"Look at me!" Remus gestured to the lanky thing that was his body. "Do you think food is my main priority?"

He knew that he defied most expectations of bakers and pâtissiers. They all did, James, Dorcas, Peter and him. It wasn't often that people picked a bunch of 19 year olds to run and own a bakery. He knew that he was definitely not the typical choice. Usually owners of a bakery weren't lanky, broke 19 year old boys with mental issues. Usually they weren't struggling to live, and usually they weren't desperately hiding that fact from their friends.
But whether or not he was the typical choice, he was in fact the owner of the bakery, and he was in fact the person that ran it.

"It looks like it should be your main priority," Sirius commented after a moment's pause, cutting off Remus's thoughts. "You're practically a stick. You definitely need a good Christmas breakfast. Come on! Surely, you've got some stuff we can make a small feast out of."
Sirius jumped off the back of the couch and made his way to what Remus called his kitchen.
"I wouldn't count on it," Remus muttered under his breath, arching an eyebrow at Sirius who was positively bounding across the room.

Remus wished he's thought to get some sort of food for today, something to have just in case anyone came over. But he'd never expected to have guests, certainly not Sirius. Usually he understood that everyone had places they needed to go on Christmas, and so he'd assumed the same for Sirius. Even last night, he'd figured that Sirius would leave early, far too early for food to be a problem.

Reluctantly, he slid off from his spot on the armrest and walked the few steps to the "kitchen". Really it wasn't much of a kitchen, or anything. There was a bench along the wall, just long enough to fit a chopping board and bowl — he'd checked. Cupboards lined what space was above and below. To the right there was a pantry and fridge, and to the left there was a stove and oven squeezed in. It wasn't much, and it was certainly nothing to prepare major Christmas breakfasts with, but it was something and he knew that was far, far better than nothing.

"Sirius! Let me survey the food supply? Step back, ey?" Remus suggested tentatively, reaching out an arm to stop Sirius, but he was too late and Sirius had flung open the pantry door an excited light in his eyes the entire time. Sirius really was an exceedingly beautiful man, though Remus didn't want to admit that he thought that, but truly, how could anyone think anything else?

"This is your food supply?" The excitement had faded off Sirius's expression and he was now staring at Remus, aghast. "Remus!" he exclaimed, though it was barely an exclamation, it was more like he had been struck with horror. He looked very much like something had sprung out of the pantry, and had told him the world was coming to an end.

And even with such a horrified expression on Sirius's face, the only response Remus could give was a slightly apologetic shrug before casting his eyes downwards. He silently cursed himself, there was no possible way he could explain it in a positive way without lying. And that was another thing Remus had recently discovered about Sirius, he was adept at knowing when anyone was lying. Remus supposed that tied in with how Sirius had grown up, and so while he knew it was a helpful skill, he wished Sirius didn't have to go through such torture to obtain it. But at the moment it wasn't Sirius he was worried about, or rather, it was, but it was in a completely different way.

"Remus? Why is your pantry all but empty? Please tell me that I'm going to open the fridge and find it full to the brim of all sorts of food."
"You know I can't tell you that."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius's voice was calm and quiet, and Remus knew that it wasn't pitying, but he couldn't help but want to tell the other boy that he didn't need pity and fake sympathy. It was a struggle to force it down, but he couldn't hurt Sirius again. So he managed to quiet the urge, and simply shrugged instead.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius asked again as he closed the pantry door and proceeded to lean back against it.
"It's not always like this. I'm fine. I just haven't had the time," Remus deflected. Technically, he wasn't lying. He hadn't had the time, he really hadn't. Things had been busy closing up the shop and he'd been fine living on what he had. Lunch was taken care of by being at the bakery, and often breakfast as well. When there were leftovers, that was. But he was fine, he knew he was. He'd not died or been even slightly sick with anything other than his fibro. Maybe that would be enough to sate Sirius's questioning, maybe he would just leave it alone. Remus didn't think so, but it would be worth a try at least, if it worked then they could have a few more pleasant hours together. And he did want that, he really did enjoy being with Sirius.

"You wouldn't tell me you were fine if you were. People only ever say they're "fine" if they're not. You know that. I don't know how many times you've acted as someone's therapist, but I know that it's more than you can count."
Sirius seemed so casual, leaning against the pantry, arms crossed, eyes focused on Remus. Remus could feel Sirius's stare burn into him, and yet, he knew that it wasn't taking any effort from Sirius at all. He knew that it was as easy as breathing. It was easy for Sirius to capture people, to make them listen. Both boys knew it, and Remus admired it, he admired the way that Sirius was so open, and yet didn't how anything he didn't want to. It was an amazing skill, one Remus wished he could master. However, at this particular point, he wasn't so fond of the gaze coming from Sirius that was making him more and more inclined to look up from the particularly fascinating spot on the floor.

There was silence for a few minutes, and neither of them moved. It certainly wasn't the comfortable silence that Remus often craved. It definitely wasn't the peaceful silence that Remus had always said was the mark of a good friendship. No, this was an extraordinarily tense silence, neither one of them wanting to give in. Sirius wanting answers, Remus wanting to brush it aside.

"It's Christmas Moonyyyyyy," Sirius whined, finally giving in and wrapping an arm around Remus's shoulders, despite having to stand on the tips of his toes to reach. "Don't ignore me, please?"
"Oh thank fuck. I don't think I could have beared the silence for much longer."
"Are you telling me that I should have just waited a couple more minutes and you would have given in?"
"I suppose so?"
"Shit!"
"Really though, annwyl, I am fine. Things aren't as bad as they look."
"But things aren't good either, are they?"
"No, I suppose they're not."
"You suppose?"
"I suppose."
"You're terrible! Absolutely terrible!"
"Yet, you're still here."
"Goodness, maybe I shouldn't be." Sirius shook his head, before tugging at a strand of his hair.

"What does anw— whatever you said, mean anyway?"
"Nothing important," Remus replied, finally looking up from the floor, smirking slightly.
"Liar, it most certainly doesn't mean "nothing important". What does it mean?"
"You'll have to find that one out yourself."
"Vraiment?"
"Yes, really," Remus nodded, a flash of a grin appearing before it vanished just as quickly.
"You really are terrible."
"You already knew that."
"Are you telling me that it's my fault?"
"Ydy."
"That is the strangest sounding word I've ever heard."
"Surely French is stranger than that?"
"Absolument pas."

The only response Sirius got was Remus shaking his head before turning away from the kitchen, heading back to his room.
"Well, since there's no food here, do you think anything will be open?" he asked, half turning back to Sirius as he walked.
"Probably not, but you can come meet my cousin?" Sirius suggested, still leaning against the pantry.
Remus's eyes widened at the suggestion and he came to a halt, fully turning to face Sirius now. He'd not been prepared for any form of socialising, he'd only just managed to adjust himself to the idea that Sirius was staying for awhile.

"You won't be intruding. Look, I'll ask her now and if she says no, we'll work out something else. Okay?"
"Siri—"
"Remus, come on. Let's just try? Go get dressed, have a shower, do whatever you need to do. It'll be fine. Stop stressing."
"Okay. Okay, sure." Remus agreed with a slight nod.

Author's Notes: Translations -

Annwyl - dear/darling
Ydy (pronounced UD-ee) - yes