AN: The conversation in this chapter is the one that happened when chapter 21(Two Weeks, Part 1) of Our Unpredictable Road ends. It is the second to last chapter for this story. The last chapter is almost done and I plan to post it by the end of the week.

TW for this chapter - illusions to domestic violence, assault

"Gideon" Emily said surprised as Gideon had been gone since they returned from Flagstaff.

After standing in the doorway he had walked into the conference room, closing the door behind him before walking over and sitting across from her at the table. As he did, he looked over the the documents she was working on before looking at her quizzically before asking, "Hotch?"

Emily sighed as she saw the paperwork in front of her was generally completed by the Unit Chief. Looking over at him, she answered, "his suspension will be over in a couple of days. I'm getting this paperwork signed off so he isn't inundated as soon as he gets back."

Gideon looked down at the table sadly knowing that the decisions he had made in Flagstaff were partially responsible for his suspension, "he'll appreciate that."

Emily looked up at him and saw him carefully observing her. Since she started working with him, she had seen him do it to other people. However, for her, it was somewhat unnerving. As she felt his eyes on her, she quickly determined what it was about. He had done what she had suggested. Looking at him directly she stated, "You read the file."

There was no need to clarify what file she was referring to as they both knew. "Yes." Gideon answered.

Emily could feel her anxiety rise. She had wondered if he had during the case in Flagstaff because even with all that he was dealing with, he had seemed to be treating her differently. At the time she thought it was just her imagination but apparently it wasn't.

She didn't want anyone she worked with to know what happened during that case. Perhaps it was good that she was already planning to give Hotch her resignation as soon as he returned.

She didn't have too much time to analyze the situation before he asked, "do you mind if I ask some questions? Even with reading the file, I found that I still have questions particularly with my role with the CIA and the doubts I already had about Bruno."

Emily sighed as thought about the question. Did she really want to dredge all of it up when she had been working for two years to put the experience in a box? Should she tell him about the inquires for that team recently? Should she tell him about Declan? After thinking for several minutes, she nodded.

Because the rest of the JTF-12 team was still out there though in different roles, the first question he asked was, "do you know or suspect who betrayed you while you were undercover?"

Emily sighs because as a profiler, she thought that she should have seen signs from whoever it was before they even got to the Doyle case. She had to keep reminding herself that all of them were profilers too. But even today, after knowing that there was at least one she was embarrassed to admit that she still wasn't able to confidently identify who it was. "I wish I did but not for sure. Well other than Bruno but you found out the illegal activities he was involved with during that case you worked at the CIA."

"But you have an idea." Gideon stated as he observed her.

Emily nodded and sighed before answering, "it's complicated. From what happened during that case and what I read in the case report and the debriefings, it could be any of them other than Sean. I do trust that Sean wasn't involved in whatever was going on with the others."

She stopped and looked around the room as she had not revealed to anyone what she was about to say to Gideon. "The problem is that the more I've considered it, the more that it seems to be more than one of them. Some of the inconsistencies don't point to one person."

Gideon nodded as he had wondered the same as he had read the reports and debriefings. While he had asked the question, her answer was disconcerting, "that certainly complicates things."

"Yes, since Clyde is now with Interpol while Tsia and Jeremy are back with their respective countries' intelligence agencies." Emily answered

Gideon saw the difficult position she was now in with not being able to identify any of them and because of that they were able to resume their lives. Changing the topic slightly, he asked, "have you talked to them since the case ended?"

Emily sighed before nodding as she answered, "not by my choice. Over the last few months, Clyde was trying to get in touch with me. After I ignored him, Jeremy ambushed me outside the bar when I was meeting JJ and Garcia. Luckily it was before they arrived but they did walk up while we were still talking."

"Did you introduce them?" Gideon asked concerned not just for Emily but for the team as well.

Emily shook her head, "no but he knew they were with me."

"What did he want?" Gideon asked curious if the reason could clear up the question of who on that team was dirty.

Emily sighed before explaining, "they are still questioning Doyle and Jeremy came at Clyde's request to ask if I knew anything else that wasn't in the reports that the interrogators could use. Or at least that was the premise for the request. Clyde knows better than to come himself. Since then Tsia has also approached me with the same inquiry."

Given how her answer was phrased, Gideon stated, "given what's happened you don't trust that it is their true intention for requesting information."

"No." Emily quickly answered.

Gideon observed her before stating, "but you do have information." He paused and noticed her starting to pick at her nails before continuing, "I'll take that as a yes."

####

"Do you know why were you chosen for that team?" Gideon asked wanting to know her interpretation of led to Bruno assigning her to that task force.

Emily sighed and sat quietly for a couple of minutes as she gathered her thoughts of how to explain both why she was chosen as well as her reluctance to take the role before looking at him as she started, "as you know my childhood wasn't typical. While I was born here in DC, I spent most of my childhood at various diplomatic postings throughout Europe and the Middle East. Even now, my mother is taking a new position in Eastern Europe."

She paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "as with anything, that upbringing comes with benefits and risks. I stayed with my mother until the last couple of years of high school and then came back to the US for boarding school. But even after that I was still required to attend certain social events in various countries as well as in the US, mostly DC and New York City.

I have been introduced to hundreds if not thousands of people over the years. My mother kept pictures of me in the residence of wherever is stationed as well as on her desk to give off the impression of a happy family as well as she has mentioned several times that she was taken more seriously when people discovered she had a child.

In many ways doing that amount of networking is beneficial. And if I had chosen just about any other career path, it would have been. But I chose the career path that I did. So when I was approached about first the CIA and then JTF-12 with undercover particularly infiltration being components it brings in a new layer of complexity to the situation. Thus the risks of my upbringing."

After pausing, Emily continued, "many of the people I've met at these events over the years have been lovely dedicated diplomats. While it isn't work that I strive for or was in any way interested in doing myself I don't hold ill-will against those who do. With that said there have also been a fair amount of scumbags of various shades as well over the years. But that is politics. You are going to get a certain number of scumbags when there is money and power involved.

Gideon started to nodded as he saw where this was going.

"While I was with Crimes Against Children, we worked on a couple of cases with an international component. One of them was human trafficking focused on Eastern Europe. So my partner and I were on our way to meet a buyer and see where they were keeping the girls in preparation for the bust when we were sent the pictures of the participants who had just entered the building where we were going to meet. One of them was someone I had met at a party a year earlier. If he would have recognized me we would have been made, compromising both my partner and I. The girls we were trying to rescue would have been in immediate danger. It could have blown the entire case.

"What did you do?" Gideon asked curiously.

Emily sighed before saying, "called and explained that I recognized one of them and how. They pulled me and sent in another agent who was backup at the scene. It was after that case that Bruno came back to me about CIA. It was still fresh in my mind and that along with other factors is why I initially said no to the CIA. However Bruno kept coming back to me and I now regret not sticking with my gut on my first answer.

When I was offered JTF-12, I was honored given the reputation of the team. However, what happened on that Crimes Against Children case was constantly on my mind as I weighed whether or not to accept it. As I looked over their first couple of cases, they were working in the areas that my mother had been stationed.

Initially I said no. I wanted to be an FBI profiler. A position on the taskforce wasn't going to help with that goal given that there would be limits about what could be in my file afterwards. It wasn't until after the team disbanded that I learned that the whole assignment would be classified and they were writing a backstop for me.

Additionally, it was too much of a risk not just to the taskforce or cases that we would working but also to my mother and stepfather. While we aren't close, if I was made during one of these cases not only would I be in danger. The criminals involved would know who my family was and in some cases would have a direct line to my mother and/or stepfather or at least be able to get access. Like for most people family was where our vulnerabilities are. It is where they could hurt me the most. I couldn't put my family in that kind of danger particularly with not being able to talk about it and give warnings if needed.

However my no was countered with being on JTF-12 doing analysis and also some field work. I wasn't supposed to do undercover or infiltration.

Gideon scoffed and then grumbled, "well from my psych eval, you shouldn't have been during undercover or infiltration regardless. Bruno ignored it to even have you as an option for that task force." before pausing briefly before continuing, "did you recognize someone you had met before come up during any of their cases?"

Emily nodded and then answered, "a matter of fact yes. It was a different weapons dealing case we worked on in Eastern Europe. It was someone that we came across and I had pulled some background information on when we weren't really getting anywhere with the case. They were talking about pulling Jeremy, who was undercover, out. Most of the team wanted to just call it and pull him so we could move on. But with the information I had we identified him. After that the case moved forward and a few weeks later the local agency went in to make arrests and we moved onto the next case."

Gideon nodded as he saw how the experience could be helpful in doing analysis. However he wasn't sure yet exactly what it was but something she just said about that team wasn't sitting right with him. Putting that aside for the moment, he asked, "what happened with the Doyle mission that had you being the one to infiltrate then?"

Emily nodded before saying, "As we were prepping for the mission, Tsia became very sick. Her illness occurred close to the day she was set to connect as Lauren Reynolds." She paused and shook her head before saying, "she was definitely sick. Really sick but as you saw as well there was never a determination of cause. It is part of my conflict as to who to trust. Did she make herself sick or did someone else on the team do it because we were at the point in the mission where we had isolated ourselves so she hadn't been around anyone outside the team for over two days? If someone else made her sick, it would have been someone else from that team."

Gideon nodded as he asked, "that explains why she couldn't go but how did you go instead?"

Emily continued, "after she was admitted to the hospital there was a push to drop the case. It wasn't a new argument. Ever since Sean brought the case to the team, there had been pushback. But the higher ups vetoed dropping the case. They wanted one more attempt at infiltration.

That is when Clyde pushed for me instead of someone outside the team citing I was already familiar with it and could get up to speed quicker. I said no way. I had a bad feeling about it and it was a weapons dealing case earlier where I had recognised someone. Considering how extensive they theorized the Valhalla network was, there were increased risks in the exact area that was of concern when I was assigned to JTF-12. Later the same day, I got a call from Bruno after Clyde contacted him pushing for me to take the assignment. Reneging on the agreement we had. I did agree to do it though the bad feeling just increased."

They were both quiet before Gideon asked about another aspect of the file that he wondered about. "The file said you wanted to be pulled out."

Emily tensed as she nodded before answering, "yes."

She paused and took a few deep breaths before continuing as they were slowly getting into the details of the actual case, "the approach we used was good at keeping him interested and me close enough to gather intelligence as well as getting the weapons we needed into their network.

However, over time Doyle grew annoyed with the limits I had in what I would do with him. He knew what he wanted. What he expected from me.

In some ways it helped in gathering intelligence as his focus was on what he wanted from me instead of his usual suspicion of everyone around him. But that came with a price.

He increasingly became more possessive. Wanting to know where I was, what I was doing, who I was seeing. It started to make checking ins more challenging.

Then he didn't want me dealing weapons as a seller to anyone else but him. He said he wanted us to get married but I told him I wasn't the marrying type. He showed up at my fake apartment one day and while there started to go through my stuff. I found him sabotaging my birth control pills yelling that they were a sin.

After that I wanted out. We had gotten several shipments of weapons into the network. I had gotten a good deal of intelligence, more than anyone else. But they wanted me to stay and deliver the last two shipments of weapons.

It was that next shipment, the second to last one that Doyle drew his line in the sand. I had to make a decision at that point to go deeper and wait for my team to pull me out or be left on the side of the road with a bullet in my head like what happened to the previous undercover."

She paused and Gideon could see that telling him what happened was becoming more difficult as they went on. He wasn't going to push her past her comfort level but was going to listen to everything that she was willing to share.

He patiently waited until she continued, "once at his compound, he had made it clear that I wasn't permitted to leave. He had already said he didn't want me doing business with anyone else so he didn't agree to let me leave for that reason.

Immediately, there was a shift in interactions. He wanted what he wanted. He was used to it because of his role and didn't accept not getting his way. From anyone."

"What did he want from you?" Gideon asked gently.

Emily shook her head before looking at him and stating, "for me not to try and leave. Sex. Marriage. Children. For us to raise a family of warriors together that he could pass the empire he was building to."

Gideon managed to internalize the gasp at her statement before asking, "what happened?"

Emily sighed before answering, "the second day there when I tried to leave to go back to my apartment he became angry and showed me what happens when I didn't follow his instructions."

As she paused Gideon could see her getting lost in her head at the memories. Before he lost her, he asked, "the bruises?"

She nodded at the question but kept her gaze downward before quietly adding, "and the ligature marks."

She stayed quietly after that before taking a few deep breaths before looking at him and continuing, "he also kept pushing marriage, becoming enraged at my reluctance. I did agree but that wasn't until after he moved us to Italy just a couple of days before I was exfiltrated. My agreement in marrying him was the reason he allowed me to go outside that day when previously I was restricted to certain areas of the house."

"And a baby. You mentioned that he sabotaged your birth control." Gideon asked hesitantly, not sure at this point if he was really prepared for what answer she would give him.

Emily looked down at the table as she quietly answered, "yes. I told Sean on my next check in about him showing up at the apartment and finding him sabotaging my birth control." She paused before looking over at him with glassy eyes before continuing, "the bright spot on that aspect of the mission was when I picked up the next weapons shipment after that check in to deliver to Doyle, Sean snuck in and injected a dose of Depo for me. I was exfiltrated shortly before the shot ran out."

####

Emily looked across the table at him and said, "it took a while but I have accepted that I wasn't supposed to come out of Doyle's compound, at least not alive. It was going to be the last attempt so at least one person wanted the JTF-12 attempt to fail."

Gideon sighed as he had reached the same conclusion as he had read the file, "I agree. From everything I read from the reports to the debriefings to what you mentioned, that sounds like a logical conclusion. The question is why."

Emily shrugged before answering, "without knowing who, I don't think answering why is possible. At least not for sure."

"Well Bruno was definitely involved. His list of misdeeds came to light after he was arrested." Gideon added.

Emily nodded before saying, "yes, I long suspected him though when I heard about his arrest I thought that he wanted someone on the task force so he could follow what cases we were working. Keep track so he would know if we were getting too close to his interests."

Gideon sighed, "I believe that is exactly what he was doing from other research I've done. When Agent Winters was killed, he needed another agent to fill that role for him."

####

"Is that why you are planning to leave the team?" Gideon asked as he closely observed her.

"What? How?" Emily answered surprised before looking at the person she was talking to and realizing she should have expected that he would figure out her plan. Nodding, she answered, "it factored into the decision but it isn't the main reason. I found out recently that I'm not here because of my abilities. I didn't know that when I started or I wouldn't have taken the position. Now that person wants me to do something that will hurt the team if I want to stay."

"So you are leaving instead." Gideon stated.

Emily sighed before nodding as she answered, "I'm keeping the control of my life that I can so yes."

Gideon sighed as he thought about what she said before answering, "promise me something."

Emily looked at him skeptically before stating, "I will if I can."

Gideon nodded before saying, "I know you can't talk about this case with most people even if you wanted to. If you run into trouble and need help, contact me or contact Sam Cooper." as he handed her a business card.

"He knows?" Emily questioned.

Gideon nodded as he answered, "yes. He's read the file too and knows that something went on within that team. He'll support you too."

"OK"

Gideon stood up and while looking at her stated, "take care of yourself. Regardless of what was said to have you doubting your abilities, you belong on this team."

"Thanks Gideon." Emily said as she watched Gideon walk over to the door to the conference room and open the door, walking out of the room towards his office.

####

Emily groaned as her alarm went off the following morning.

She and Gideon had talked for an extended period of time the previous evening. She was relieved that she was almost done the paperwork that she had stayed to complete before he arrived.

She had felt so emotionally drained by the time he left from answering his questions about her time with JTF-12 and Bruno Hawks. But he had apologized for his accusations and explained where his suspicion had come from about Bruno. If nothing else she was glad they had an opportunity to talk and clear the air between them before she left that morning.

She was timing her arrival to be as close as possible to when she expected Hotch to arrive. She wanted to avoid any emotional confrontations with other members of the team today because she was already feeling vulnerable. And she didn't want to break down in the BAU.

As getting ready to head into work, she noticed the card on her dresser that Gideon had given her the previous evening. Walking over to her safe, she opened to and pulled out a manila envelope and a cell phone. After programming the number into the cell phone, she placed the card in the manila envelope before putting both items back in the safe.

Now it was time to head into the BAU and do what she had been dreading for weeks now.