July 25, 2010

~*~SW~*~

Supper is a somber affair, knowing it is time to make a final decision since the Dixon camp is heading north in two days. Dale is on watch, having waved away the offer Rick made to take over what is his normal shift anyway after Rick returned from the supply run. Scout decided it was the last run, to take tomorrow to make sure everything is sorted and road ready.

Andrea takes a plate from T-Dog, who helped Jacqui with supper. The blonde looks thoughtful as she takes a seat beside her sister, who is already eating. "I had a talk with Scout on the way back to camp. She invited us to go with them tomorrow, and I've talked to Dale about how grateful we both are for what he's done for us, but we're going to accept. I can't argue after the last few days and today's supply run that a bigger, more experienced group wouldn't be safer."

"What about Merle?" Rick asks.

"I think that I'm going to have to trust that there are a half dozen people over there that knew Merle before and that they all say the drugs were after the dead were walking. He's certainly been completely different to Jacqui and T-Dog." She looks at Shane. "That the impression you've gotten? You do have a bit more of an inside track into the family than the rest of us."

He turns the plate in his hands, debating on whether or not the one thing he knew that they didn't was truly important to share. "That's how it is according to her and Daryl both, no drugs or alcohol either. He did spend most of a year in prison about fifteen years ago for felony assault. Took a plea deal after they decided he'd used excessive force in interfering with a man beating on his girlfriend in a bar parking lot."

"Considering what we know of his past, I don't find that surprising," T-Dog says. "Ain't like all of us haven't wanted to do that sort of beat down on an asshole before. Gotta look at how he is now. And it's not like he ever actually got violent with anyone until he and I were yelling on that roof. Even then, I hit him first, and he apologized. I don't want to leave y'all hanging, but my vote is for going north. We already know that Morales and his family are going."

"Us too," Jacqui says, nudging Jim with her shoulder. Shane doesn't figure that Jim much cares, but he'll go where Jacqui goes. "And I really think that Dale wants to, but he's not willing to leave a family with a child behind."

"Shane?"

Shane meets Rick's eyes, keeping his expression neutral. This is probably a bad idea, but he can't let Rick decide thinking everything is like it always was. "I think there's a discussion you and I need to have before we decide anything."

That gets him semi-alarmed looks from everyone but Jim, and Lori looks furious, but he still passes his barely touched plate to Jacqui and stands. Rick follows as Shane leads him to the quarry lake. It is protected enough to be distracted down there, with all the watch posts manned in camp. If he is going to get his ass kicked, he prefers no witnesses.

"You gotta know before you place faith in me. We thought you were dead. We really did. And nothing ever happened before we ended up here and nothing's happened since you got back. And brother, you gotta believe it was grief and fear and just needing to know there was something left in all the crazy."

He struggles for the words, unable to say it outright.

"I know." Rick's voice is hoarse.

Shane tugs at his own hair in frustration. "She tell you?"

"No. But I know my wife and she's never treated you as badly as she has the last week, and she's never been jealous of any woman you were ever with." He sighs. "And you've had this air of about-to-be-kicked dog whenever I'm around. There were other signs, but those were the big ones that confirmed it. When it first hit me, that first night in camp, I wanted to knock your teeth down your throat. But I didn't because I get it. And you've done everything short of relocating to the other damned camp to leave us to settle things between us."

"If you hadn't made it back, I'd have looked after her and Carl to my dying day."

"I know." Rick sits on one of the big rocks and stares out over the water. "I gotta ask. Are you in love with Lori?"

Shane groans. "I could've been. Or convinced myself I was. But no, man, I'm not sure what being in love feels like, but I know I don't feel it for Lori."

Rick thinks on that for a while, and Shane lets him have the peace to do it, dropping down to sit on the rocky shore.

"This thing with you and Scout. That something you're going to continue? I worry about your track record, but seems you finally met the female version of you when it comes to relationships."

"We're just taking it as it goes. If we join up with them and it ends, we'll still get along. And I don't see any Dixons getting ugly about it unless I did something really stupid. I've never crossed that kinda line, so we're good."

"Gotta admit I'm surprised and proud of you."

"How's that?"

"Granted, she's pretty. Exactly your type, really. But before all this, I don't think I'd ever believed you could look past the scarring."

Shane decides to be honest. "Surprised myself a little. I thought it'd be hard to deal with, but I dunno. It shows she's pretty badass, I guess."

"Might have been your problem before. Most of the girls you dated for very long were pretty but not much in the personality department. Seemed like you got bored really quick."

"I did. Damn, some of them were poster children for dumb blonde jokes."

"I always figured it was how you made sure you didn't get in too deep," Rick notes. Shane is just glad he seems to be focusing on Shane's current love life and not the ill-advised affair with Lori, for now, at least. "I was afraid for a while you'd accidentally get one of them pregnant and end up married and unhappy."

He doesn't add 'like me', but Shane can hear it anyway. "Wouldn't have married just for that. That's one lesson I took from my parents."

"You aren't your dad, Shane," Rick says softly. "I've seen you with Carl for years. You'd make a good father and a good husband, with the right woman."

"How the hell did this turn into reassuring me, brother? I brought you out here thinking you'd end up kicking my ass."

Rick takes a deep breath. He catches Shane's gaze and sighs. "We'll be okay eventually."

Shane has to ask. "Even with the way Lori's acting? You know I ain't encouraging that and I won't."

"Yeah. I'm not sure what is wrong with her. Things were really bad before I got shot. You heard me bitch about it enough. We hadn't had a real conversation in at least six months, and I never said, but I'd been sleeping in the guest room for about six weeks. Pretty sure she'd started talking to a lawyer, but neither of us was willing to have that conversation yet. I think the only way I was going to save it was to quit the sheriff's office. She loathed me being a cop." He reaches down and picks up a flat rock, spinning it out across the water. "I honestly don't know if thinking I was dead jumpstarted her back to me and she's having trouble shifting gears to seeing me alive, or if she's just terrified of being alone."

"You might be on to something there. I mean, she doesn't really have any friends in the camp. Jacqui and Andrea were professional career women, never married, so they don't have a lot in common as a whole. Amy's too young, and Carol and Miranda might've been housewives like Lori was, but she's been so bossy toward both of them that I'm pretty sure Miranda's been faking difficulties with English to avoid her." Shane stands back up and rubs his jaw thoughtfully. "Being afraid you'll call it quits might be why she's trying to keep my attention too. Backup plan in a world she has no idea how to deal with."

"Shit, Shane. It's not like I'd abandon her even if I didn't want to be her husband anymore. You'd think she'd know that."

"She should. But I won't ever claim to be an expert on how a woman thinks through things. More than one reason why I ended up single and in my thirties."

"You say that as if married men have any more of a clue than single ones."

Shane laughs, feeling the pressure in his chest ease that has been there since he realized Rick was alive and one day, he has to confess his sins. He doesn't like that probably part of Rick's ability to forgive has to do with the damage his marriage already endured before the dead rose up because that meant it is even more guaranteed to come to an ugly conclusion now. He isn't sure that Lori is capable of backpedaling enough - or changing enough - to fit with who Rick really is. They might not have a station to work at, but this world isn't one where a man - or woman - could turn away from being willing to fight for the betterment of the community, even more so than the civilized one before. He doesn't voice those thoughts, just moves forward and sighs with relief when he claps a hand on Rick's shoulder and squeezes, that his brother doesn't push him away.

"Shane?"

"Yeah?"

"You should take the chance." When Shane looks down at Rick, he sees nothing but sincerity in the other man's blue eyes as Rick continues. "With Scout. We'll go north with them. I think it's for the best for Carl, even if Lori will probably bitch all the way there and beyond. But I think maybe you should see things through with Scout. The kind of connection you two seem to have doesn't come along often."

"What do you mean?"

Rick's laugh is a little bitter and it puzzles Shane. "You've known the woman for what, five days? The vibe between you two is already strong enough that if I didn't know either of you, I'd peg you two as the married couple, not me and Lori. Hell, we've never had that kind of connection."

It makes Shane's heart hurt to hear Rick disparage his relationship, even as much as he knows Rick is being truthful about the state of it. Lori always wanted Rick to be different than he is, and Shane never quite understood why she dated his best friend in the first place. She came from an affluent enough family to have finished out college and been independent, but she latched onto Rick in high school through Rick's younger brother and never looked back. She even dropped out of college two years in to marry Rick after getting pregnant with Carl.

"It's too early to know," he says at last.

"Maybe. But tell me this. You've shared a tent for four nights. Is that really just about sex?"

Shane shifts his weight from one foot to another, looking away from Rick to the water. "We've only actually had sex twice," he admits at last. He isn't entirely sure why it seemed natural to just fall asleep together that second night without having sex, although Rick's barb about his dating history probably helped.

"Only twice?" Rick whistles softly. "Brother, I hate to tell you, if you're already that comfortable with each other, I don't think it's too early to know where it's going."

"It's too fast."

"We live in a world with dead walking around, Shane. I'm not saying you're madly in love already, but it sure sounds like the potential to fall in love is there, and I always wanted you to have that kind of happiness. We're staying with them, so you don't have to choose between us and her, you know."

"It may not be what she wants." Shane remembers that initial proposal, where she indicated part of his attraction was that he isn't someone she is responsible for. He explains as much to Rick.

His partner looks thoughtful for a few minutes. "The way she interacts with you isn't like you're an outsider. Maybe she started out wanting a bit of fun, but she treats you like an equal partner in the day-to-day stuff. Honestly, if I were a lesser man, I'd be jealous of the time she spends with you on that, from the prospective of a partner who is being replaced at least temporarily. She had me partnered with Daryl today, you know. I got nosy."

"Yeah?" Shane's not entirely sure he wants to know what Rick got nosy with Scout's uncle about.

"He said she's never focused on anyone the way she has you. He's worried about her if the groups split up, that she's too attached."

"She hasn't said anything like that. Dammit, Rick, it's only been five days." Four days where he's spent all his sleeping hours with her. Five days where he's spent at least six waking hours in her company, except for the third supply run they'd done, where she paired him with Daryl for the actual supply run part while she worked with Morales. She still singled him out to go scouting with her for the next day's locations, sending Morales back with Daryl. He chalked it up to a group leader passing on skills to another group leader or at least tried to. They certainly built up trust fast. He is as at ease with her at his back as he is with Rick, and he knew that sort of thing doesn't come easy.

"According to Daryl, the only five days part has her a bit spooked too."

"Fuck." Shane paces along the water's edge, shooting Rick looks. The other man sits patiently, used to Shane's need to move when he is emotional. "You're really choosing to join up with them because it's best for Carl? Not because of me, right?"

Rick sighs. "Shane, while Carl and Lori's safety is my first priority in the decision, I won't lie to you that you being happy isn't the second. I had my doubts, and part of me still worries that it's not going to be as easy as it seems. And before you worry yourself around to it, I'm not pushing this because of Lori either. Part of why I was so angry when I first realized you'd slept with her was that you two are worse in compatibility than she and I are. I know you said you'd have protected her to your dying day if I hadn't reappeared, but she'd have driven you crazy in the end."

That brings Shane's pacing to a halt, and he stares at Rick, stunned.

The blue-eyed man just meets his gaze calmly. "Lori is a good woman under that blanket of unhappiness she's been wearing for the last couple of years. You remember how she used to be. But what she needs to be happy isn't me, and as much as I know you would have tried, it isn't you either. But you and Scout... that I can see. Something in her settles that coiled tension you've carried around in you since we were kids. And you don't see it, but I think you do the same for her. Maybe it's a talk you should have with her, or you can wait and give it more time since you'll have that now."

"And what are you going to do about Lori?" He can't shake the feeling that he helped put the nails in their marriage's coffin.

"I'm going to keep my mouth shut until we're somewhere safe. And then once we are settled, I'll let her know it's the end of things for us as a couple. I'll still look after her as Carl's mother, but she and I both deserve to be happier than we've been. The irony is that this world will probably make it easier, splitting up and sharing Carl."

Shane nods, figuring he might be right on that. "Suppose we should get back before they start worrying we're killing each other down here."

Rick actually smiles at that, standing from his seat on the rock. He surprises Shane by reaching out to pull him into a tight hug. "We're still brothers, Shane," he says quietly. And if Shane blinks away tears, Rick isn't going to call him on it.

~*~SW~*~

Shane doesn't even get turned around from zipping the tent behind him before Scout's arms are around him, her hands tugging his shirt from his waistband. He stills as she slides her hands under the cloth and up his chest, pressing herself to his back. When she hooks her hands on his shoulders instead of continuing to caress his chest and presses her face to the back of his neck, he realizes the embrace is more of a hug than a seduction. He reaches a hand up and cups the back of her neck, squeezing gently.

She nuzzles at his skin for a moment, lips soft against him, before slowly sliding her arms from his shirt and letting him turn around to face her. Her eyes are intent as she undoes his belt and slides his gun holster and knife off to set them neatly next to where her own are already on the overturned box that serves as a nightstand of sorts next to the air mattress. He smiles as she steps back to him, enjoying that their nearly equal height makes it easy to lean in to kiss the scarring on her neck above the neckline of her T-shirt. Scout shivers, and as he raises his head to smile at her, her pupils are blown wide, only a thin rim of blue remaining as she pulls him in for a kiss that is an invitation all by itself.

It isn't until later, after they're cleaned up and back in clothing to sleep, that he wonders if they should talk. All they agreed from the beginning was a short fling. Her coming to his tent again, knowing both groups are going to stay together, emphasizes Rick's interpretation that she's interested in long-term. It's a conversation he's never really had, so he has no clue how to start it. She's spooned behind him, a habit he actually finds he likes and suspects she does because it makes her feel easier to have her previously injured side protected by his bulk.

"Scout?" he manages at last. She hums against his shoulder, but raises to one elbow to peer down at him when he doesn't continue right away. She only loosely rebraided her dark hair, so wisps of it frame her face as she waits for him to continue. He likes this unguarded look of hers that few others get to see. "Are we going to stick with this - with us?" His voice is huskier than he likes, a need for the answer to be yes, even when he isn't articulating it properly.

She blinks, looking uncertain for a moment, and he feels a flicker of worry that she's trying to figure out how to turn him down gently. But then her fingers slide to the pulse point in the crook of his elbow, a habit he's noticed she does when she wants reassurance. There's a story there, one he suspects may trace back to Will Dixon's attack on his family, but he won't ask just yet. "Is that what you want?" she asks.

It's not an answer, yet it is, but he presses for more. "Do you want me?"

Her fingers stroke along the skin of his pulse point and he has a brief moment where it hurts to breathe when she doesn't answer right away. But she drops her head to nuzzle at the base of his jaw. "Yeah," she murmurs against his skin. "Getting close to always."

He tries to imagine an always, like he did through his whole watch shift and realizes that he can. Even better, he wants to. "Me too."

Scout moves away from him enough to push at his shoulder, rolling him to his back. Her expression isn't as joyful as he expects, though. She rises to her knees and tugs his hand up to run his fingers over the vertical scar that starts below her navel. The raised tissue is left exposed since she sleeps in just the compression vest and pants. He never questioned her about the scar, assuming it part of the extensive recovery she experienced last year.

"Do you know what this is?" she asks. She keeps her hand over his against her scarred stomach. He can feel the rigid twist of one of the shrapnel wounds near it.

He shakes his head.

"A hysterectomy scar."

Oh. He supposes he always saw children in his future, eventually, if he ever met a woman he wanted for more than a week or two. Perhaps it is karma that he finally is starting to imagine that sort of commitment in a healthy way - not like with Lori - and it's the one thing they can't have. Scout's expression is solemn, too controlled for real emotion, and he realizes she's afraid of his response. "Then I guess we'll just get to spoil other people's children and send them back home," he says.

Her smile is blinding as she drops her weight across his body to give him a kiss that makes him forget his exhaustion and their earlier activities both.

~*~SW~*~

It's still dark when they're woken by the sound of a man cursing furiously, followed by the vicious snarl of at least one of the dogs. They're both at full alertness, shoving on boots and grabbing weapons so quickly that Shane doesn't think more than a minute has passed. But the source of the noise is Ed Peletier, flat on his back, pinned by the massive bulk of Augustus. The catahoula has his teeth on the man's throat, and Ed's made a wise decision for probably the first time in his life by going absolutely still. An arrow sticks out of his shoulder.

Shane shoves his gun in his waistband as he surveys the scene. T-Dog is tense from his spot atop the RV, and others have spilled out of their tents in both camps. Lights are on in the Dixon RVs, but no one's emerged. He figures the adults are assessing from inside, keeping watch over the children. Sasha, the firefighter from Florida, is looking both furious and proud of herself. He's guessing she's the one responsible for the arrow in the asshole.

"Sorry, Scout. I shot too soon," she calls out.

"I see that. Jackass is still breathing," Scout replies. "Should let Auggie finish the job, maybe."

Apparently, Ed takes the suggestion seriously, because the fabric of his pants blooms wetly from where he lies unmoving under the dog.

"We don't want to poison the poor dog," Shane drawls.

"He slipped out of his tent," T-Dog calls down. "I told him to get back inside, but he told me to fuck off and kept heading toward their camp. So, Sasha shot him and Maggie sent the dog after." A glance towards the other watch stander shows the farmer's daughter looks mighty satisfied with sending the eighty-pound dog onto the wounded man.

Shane steps close, confident that Augustus won't hurt him. He's worked with the dog enough on supply runs to trust his training. Nearby is a handgun that Ed obviously dropped, either when he was shot or when he was knocked down by the dog. He picks it up, clearing the chamber and releasing the magazine out of long habit, but confirming it is loaded tells Ed's intentions toward his ex-wife and child or at least their protectors. If he were a stranger invading their camp, Shane would shoot him with his own gun. He's still tempted, but he walks the gun back over to Scout and Rick.

"Guess he figured it was his last chance to force them back," he says. They still haven't fully determined what to do about Ed when they leave. No one is fully on board with killing the man, but now is probably a different story.

Scout's expression has taken on that remote, emotionless mask that he remembers from when she told them about the rapists near the Greene farm. He isn't sure anyone can stop the decision she's reached, not that he wants to. She studies the gun for a moment. "Get him loaded up in the Jeep," she states, before bending down to finish tying up her boots.

Shane shoves the loose bullet back in the magazine and hands everything off to Rick. Lori is standing behind him, deliberately blocking their tent exit from Carl's view. He doesn't blame her a bit for that. He goes back to Ed, giving the command to Augustus to release the man. The dog obeys willingly, although he doesn't back off far, his hackles still raised. Ed lays as if paralyzed for a moment, not immediately fighting as Shane binds his wrists together using the zip ties he was given the night Carol decided on a better life for herself and Sophia. The shock of the wound and the dog's attack wears off as Ed's shoulder is jostled and he tries to struggle, but it only makes the bleeding around the arrow worse. Shane isn't gentle as he drags him to his feet, shoving him toward the Jeep.

"What are you doing?" Ed finally demands.

"Removing you from camp," Shane replies. He can tell the man suspects what that might mean, so he's ready when Ed tries to run and snatches on the arm with the wounded shoulder. The man goes to his knees, in too much pain to even scream. Danny reaches them, assisting Shane in dragging Ed back to his feet. Between the two of them, they get him rolled into the back of Shane's Jeep, the one they decided to leave behind at the camp. With the back seat still removed for using as a laundry and water transport vehicle, the asshole just barely fits. Shane zip ties his bound hands to one of the roll bars, just in case he gets any more ideas about running.

Even though they aren't likely to be going far, not in the dark, he takes the time to tie up his boot laces just as Scout reaches him. She's carrying the BDU shirts pre-loaded with gear that they use for runs, along with his belt, knife, and holster he'd left behind in the tent. As they're settling equipment into place, Shane sees Dale approaching. The old man's expression is set in what Shane's come to think of as his "I'm the moral elder" face.

"You can't just abandon him out there, wounded, with no supplies," Dale says.

Scout doesn't answer immediately, taking a look around the camp at those who have emerged from their tents. From what Shane can see, Dale is the only objector to Ed being removed.

"You're welcome to take responsibility and go with him," she says at last. "But he was headed over there with the intent to harm or kill people I'm responsible for. He doesn't stay, and I'm not wasting supplies on him."

"It's not right," Dale protests. "You're sending to his death."

Shane realizes that Dale's too naive, too innocent in spite of his age, to realize that Scout has no intention of Ed having a lingering death. She isn't going to leave someone like Ed loose in the world any more than Shane is, knowing what he likely intended tonight. Waiting until the end of a watch shift and picking the time when none of the cops or Marines were on duty had to have been planned. Unfortunately for him, where he was right that T-Dog would hesitate to shoot him, the young woman Scout trained didn't.

"There are no jails to hold him," Scout says plainly. "Can you honestly say you want him around the women and children here? What if it had been Andrea or Amy he'd been going after tonight with that gun?"

That makes Dale flinch. He looks over his shoulder where the blonde sisters are outside the RV, Amy held close to Andrea's chest. He hesitates in replying.

Something dark twists in Scout's expression, worrying Shane a little. "Or is that how it is? It's fine if a man like Ed beats on someone you don't care about? It's not your problem if it isn't your loved ones?" There's venom in her voice and Dale shrinks away as she steps closer to him. Shane can't see her face, but Dale looks almost afraid of what he's seeing. He suspects it's similar to the fury she turned on him and Daryl for not stepping in on Ed sooner. "You're just a self-centered coward, aren't you?"

This time Dale reacts as if she'd slapped him. He stumbles backwards several steps, still not speaking.

Shane steps up and slides a hand onto her shoulder, squeezing lightly. She relaxes into the touch.

"Anyone else object to Ed leaving?" he asks.

Dale looks around, obviously seeking any others who share his objections, but he gets nothing but silence and a few shaken heads. Carol comes forward slowly, causing Dale to begin to look hopeful, but she steps past him to stare at where Ed lies trussed to the Jeep. Shane expects Ed to curse at his ex-wife, but he lays there, managing an almost hopeful expression that the woman who he has spent years terrorizing is going to save him.

It's a vain hope.

"I hope you burn in hell," she says to the bleeding man. "I'm glad that every last minute of your time on Earth will be spent in pain and suffering."

And she walks away, head held high.

~*~CP~*~

Carol lies in her tent, curled around Sophia, who clings to her tightly, with Honey curled up to bracket the girl on the other side. She hears the Jeep pull away, and the darkest part of her thrills at the fact that Ed is gone. She's not stupid. She doesn't believe for a minute that Shane and Scout are going to set Ed free at some distance from the camp and hope for the best. He crossed the line tonight, bringing a gun like a coward in the dark. Her ex-husband's time left is numbered in mere hours now.

It's a sin to rejoice in a man's death, but she can't bring herself to repent.