After Shizuo found Izaya's limp, bloody body, time seemed to pass by for him in a blur. Ryu and the other officers flooded the room, and tried to pry the blonde away from Izaya. When he refused to let go, they promised that he could ride in the ambulance. The entire ride, all he could do was stare at Izaya's slack face, quietly begging for even the smallest sign of those eyes opening.
The next thing he knew, they were in the hospital. He, Kasuka, and Tom were placed in their own room while Izaya was wheeled off for surgery. With the bloody raven no longer in sight, Shizuo felt his mind starting to catch up with all the events that had occurred.
They had escaped, the leader of their pursuers was dead at Izaya's hand… They were free. But at what cost?
The door to their room was slowly pushed open, making the three men freeze up for a moment before they realized it was only Ryu. They sighed in relief, and Shizuo quickly sat up on his hospital bed, ignoring his sore body's protests.
"Is Izaya okay? Did he make it?!" He demanded frantically, his mind practically going haywire with worry.
Ryu sat down in the chair next to him, and replied,"I don't know yet, he's still in surgery. They said he had a collapsed lung, and had lost a fair amount of blood. We'll just have to wait and see."
They fell into a painful silence again, tension falling over them like a weighted blanket. Shizuo stared down at his bandaged hands for several minutes as he tried to think of the best way to voice what he was feeling. Eventually, he looked up at Ryu and asked,"Why did… Why did Izaya do it?"
The police officer didn't seem surprised by his question. Instead he sighed, and shook his head. "I suppose now you all deserve to know… After we came up with the plan that night, Shizuo, Izaya came to me in private. He knew if the boss was there to help order the men, we would have no chance. He knew the boss wouldn't be able to resist assaulting him again, so he decided to use that to his advantage and kill him himself," He explained.
Kasuka narrowed his eyes the slightest bit. "That can't be the only reason…" He softly said,"We know what the did to Izaya's family, I know it was more than that."
Ryu sighed, but nodded to Kasuka. "You're correct… It was also revenge. Izaya knew that he would probably die with the boss, but he told me that he didn't care. He said he deserved to die after everything that happened…"
Shizuo suddenly clenched his fists so tight, the bandages on his hands started to tear. "Why did you let him?!" He demanded,"If you knew Izaya was basically sending himself on a suicide mission, why did you let him?! Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Izaya didn't want you to know because he knew you'd stop him," Ryu easily answered,"And… I let him because we both knew their boss would take him to his quarters whether or not we had a plan… At least this way, Izaya had a chance to survive."
Tom frowned. "With everything Izaya has told us, I think you know as well as we do that Izaya was probably hoping to die…" He pointed out.
Ryu stared at the debt collector with those pained eyes, and then nodded. "I knew…" He admitted,"But what could I do? I knew he had been wanting to die for a long time…"
Shizuo jerked his head up. "W-wha…?" He croaked,"D-do you mean… Has Izaya tried to kill himself before?"
"He hasn't, but I knew that he wanted to eventually," Ryu said,"He told me that the only thing he cared about was getting revenge. Nothing else mattered. I think the only thing keeping him going was avenging his family."
Shizuo frowned, because he knew what Ryu said was true, Izaya had told him something very similar during their time in the safehouse. In fact, Izaya had said many strange things during their time together that Shizuo now realized were signs of his true intentions…
"No, that's okay… We don't have to fake-hate each other. It won't matter for long anyways…"
"Sometimes… Sometimes I think it would have been better if I just died that day. At least then I could be with-"
"I don't… I don't want anyone else to be hurt by them. I just want it to end, I just want it all to end!"
"I died once, Shizu-chan. I'm not afraid of dying a second time."
He groaned, burying his face in his hand and hunching forward. "Oh the signs… They were there the whole time… How did I not notice?!" He exclaimed, tears beginning to blur his vision. "No, no, no… Izaya can't die… He can't!"
"Shizuo, if Izaya decides he doesn't want to keep fighting, there's not much the doctors can do for that," Ryu quietly said.
"No!" Shizuo snapped, punching the mattress angrily. "He can't die! We need him! I need him! I…"
The blonde suddenly gave out, letting out a pained sigh and burying his face in his hands again. His shoulders shook with barely concealed sobs, and the three in the room could only look on in sadness. They knew as well as Shizuo did, the only way to see if Izaya would survive or not was to wait and see…
When Izaya awoke, he felt strange. Despite the fact he very clearly remembered being shot, he felt no aches, no throbbing, no pain. Where am I…? When he opened his eyes, a gasp escaped him.
He was standing in the middle of a beautiful green meadow, it was filled with purple, blue, magenta, and white flowers. The sky above him was a beautiful blue, and there wasn't a cloud in sight. The most amazing thing of all wasn't the meadow though, it was the fact that he could see.
Why? Why can I see? He wondered, his wide red eyes looking around the meadow in awe. He reached downward, letting his hand brush over the top of the grass, feeling it tickle his palms. Am I dead? Is this what the afterlife looks like?
"Izaya…"
The raven gasped as Shizuo's voice echoed through his head. He grasped at the side of his hair, looking around frantically. Shizu-chan?! Where is his voice coming from? Why is it echoing?! Where am I?!
"I-ZA-NII!"
Two smaller bodies suddenly crashed into is, making the raven squeal in surprise. He whipped around and gasped, tears causing his vision to blur. "Mairu… Kururi…" He croaked, kneeling down and hugging them tightly.
Then, two more bodies joined their hug, and Izaya instantly knew who it was. "Mom… Dad…" He said, wrapping an arm around him and sobbing into his mother's shoulder. He hadn't seen them in so long, and here they were right in front of him, as if they had never died… As if he had never killed them…
"Oi, stupid big brother!" Mairu suddenly yelled, slapping her fist against the top of her head and giving him a disappointed look. "I know what you're thinking, and stop it right now!"
Izaya frowned, confusion overcoming him. "What… What do you mean?" He stuttered,"It is my fault. If I hadn't seen your faces, you'd all still be alive. We would have been together still…"
"Son, you never wanted to see their faces. And even though you did, you also freed the people they had trapped. You saved so many people, and you stopped them from hurting anyone else," His father firmly said.
Kururi reached forward, wiping the tears off of his face. "Iza-nii… Proud," She quietly whispered to him.
His mother gave a gentle nod, her brown eyes kind and expressive, just like he remembered them to be. "Your sister is right, Izaya, we're very proud of you and what you've done since we've passed on. You're a hero, Izaya."
Those words only seemed to hurt him more, as he quickly hugged her again, sobbing even harder. They let him cry, their gentle embraces the only thing that managed to help him stop crying eventually
Once his tears had calmed, he quietly said,"At least I was able to avenge you guys… That's all that mattered to me."
His father gave him a firm squeeze on the shoulder. "You did avenge us, son, but now that you have, what will you live for now?" He asked.
Izaya's grin faltered, and he gave his father a look of confusion. "What… Do you mean?" He asked,"I thought… Aren't I dead? Isn't this the afterlife?"
"No, not exactly, it's in between," Mairu answered,"Because, Iza-nii, you aren't dead. It isn't Iza-nii's time to die."
The raven frowned. "What? But… No…" He said, shaking his head. "But I wanted to die, I wanted to be with you guys. I need you guys…"
Kururi shook her head. "No, Iza-Nii…"
His mother reached forward, cradling his cheek in her soft hand. "It's not your time. Someone on Earth still needs you, Izaya, and I think you know exactly who it is…"
"Shizuo…" Izaya whispered softly, and all four members of his family nodded. The raven lifted his head, looking up at the bright blue sky.
"Izaya… Please… Don't leave me…" Shizuo's voice echoed, and there was suddenly a pressure on his hand… As if someone was holding it. His family was right, he was still tethered to the living world.
He lifted his other hand, placing it over the pressure on his left hand. "Shizuo needs me… And… And I think I need him too,``he admitted.
"Duh," The twins answered at the same time, giving him the same mischievous smirks.
He smiled lovingly towards them, then turned back to his parents. "Are you sure… Is it okay for me to go back?" He asked.
"Of course it is, honey," His mother promised, a smile on her angelic face.
His father nodded in agreement. "Don't worry, Izaya. We'll meet again one day, but that day isn't today."
Izaya gave him a tearful smile and nodded firmly, letting his sisters and parents pull him into a hug one more time. He hugged them right back, shutting his eyes tightly, and whispering,"I love you guys…"
Then, everything faded away...
It had been days since they had been admitted into the hospital, and even though he and Izaya were in different hospital rooms, he still refused to leave. He sat vigil by Izaya's side, holding his hand and barely moving except to eat, sleep, and relieve himself. Other than that, he stayed by his side. He wouldn't- no, he couldn't leave until Izaya was able to come with him.
It had been the evening of the third day, the moonlight the only shimmer into their room. He held that pale hand in his own, running his calloused thumb across the soft skin for hours. Eventually his body started to grow tired, and fight against his attempts to stay sitting.
He sighed, turning his saddened brown eyes up to Izaya's bruised face. Still, there was no sign of awakening. He shook his head sadly, rising to his feet, and beginning to walk away. But just before his fingers could slide out of the man's palm, they were suddenly trapped in a weak grip.
Shizuo gasped, completely freezing up as he felt the grip tightened even further. He spun around, just in time to see those milky eyes open for the first time in three days. He couldn't say anything, shock overtaking his whole body.
Those blind eyes blinked slowly, and the hand squeezed his hand tightly. "Shizu… Chan?" The weak voice softly asked,"Is that… You?"
Those words finally ripped Shizuo out of his stupor. "Izaya!" He exclaimed, gripping the hand back tightly and hurried forward, pulling him into a tight hug. "Oh my god, you're awake… You're… You're actually awake! I was so scared that you would… Why did you…"
He nuzzled his face into those messy raven locks. "Please don't do something like that every again… If I lose you, I'll never…" He let the sobs take over his body. Izaya's scrawny arms wrapped around him, and he felt tear drops falling onto his own hospital gown.
"It's okay, Shizu-chan…" Izaya whispered softly. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere ever again. I promise…"
His words were so strong, so sincere, it sent an explosion of feelings through his body. Slowly pulling away from the hug, he stared at Izaya's face for a long time, taking in his tearful eyes, the gentle smile, the signs of life.
Then, he found himself leaning forward, capturing those soft lips in a long, loving kiss. Izaya quickly returned the affection, his arms wrapping around Shizuo's shoulders and threading his fingers into Shizuo's blonde locks.
When they finally pulled away, both of them were left gasping for air, their foreheads resting against one another's. Shizuo's heart was bursting with happiness, and he couldn't hold it back anymore.
"Izaya… I… I love you," Shizuo declared,"I… I love you so much."
Izaya's hands slid to his cheeks, pulling Shizuo into another kiss. When they pulled away, Izaya replied,"I love you too, Shizu-chan… I love you more than anything. I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it…"
Shizuo shook his head. "That doesn't matter," He firmly said, his hand moving to hold Izaya's. "All that matters is that we're together, with each other, here and now."
Izaya nodded firmly to is words, leaning forward into Shizuo's arms and letting the blonde hold him. Shizuo gladly took him into his hold, pressing gentle kisses into the soft black locks of hair.
They were quiet for a few minutes, simply soaking in the comfort of being in each others embrace, before Izaya softly declared,"Shizu-chan… I saw my family."
He raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "You did?" He queried.
Izaya nodded. "They told me that they loved me… And that they were proud of me, but that it wasn't my time to go yet… Because someone still needed me…" He said.
Shizuo tilted his head, looking down at Izaya with a small smile on his face. "Is that someone me?" He questioned, gaining a small nod. He smiled, tightening his hold on the raven. "Your family was right, flea, I do need you. When I thought you might die… It was the worst I'd felt in years."
He pulled away from the raven, placing his hand on the bruised cheek and running his thumb across it. "But now, seeing you awake, having you here, I feel like I can finally breathe again," He finished.
Izaya smiled at him again, and softly replied,"I need you too Shizu-chan. You saved me from myself. If it weren't for you, I don't think I would have had the strength to come back… And… And we stopped them. It's over… We're free."
Shizuo smiled even wider than before, pulling Izaya into another kiss. "We're free, and we're together," He declared happily.
Izaya smiled, leaning into his strong chest, and closing his eyes. "I wouldn't have it any other way…"
Once Izaya awoke, their lives seemed to calm down and grow overwhelming at the same time. The doctors constantly fretted over the raven's condition, Shizuo managed to annoy them into moving Izaya into their shared room, the police returned, getting all their statements and letting them know that court proceedings would soon begin for the members still alive.
Ryu also returned, giving everyone back the personal items that had been left behind. Izaya's blanket and the phone and headphones he used for music, Tom's novels, Shizuo's bartender outfits, and Kasuka's cat.
"Hopefully, with all the information we obtained at the compound, we won't need your eyewitness testimonies. But you should all be prepared, just in case you have to, as it's still a possibility if they want you to confirm the information we've gotten from you already. I'll try to keep you out of it as much as possible, you've all been through too much already," Ryu explained.
The four men in the room nodded, relieved for the possibility of remaining anonymous after such a stressful situation.
Ryu looked further down his clipboard. "Also, as it seems that you guys haven't been targeted, we're lowering our visiting restrictions a little bit. Your family is allowed to come and visit you. No one else, though. Friends will have to wait until you've been discharged."
Shizuo, Kasuka, and Tom nodded eagerly. They didn't care at all, they were just happy at the idea that they would get to see their families after so long.
"I can pay for all their flights," Kasuka quickly declared,"Even for your parents, Tom. I'm sure they'd be eager to see you and understand why we all suddenly vanished."
The three chuckled, and Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Mom and Dad are not going to let this go for a long time," He pointed out to his brother. "I bet mom will even try to make us stay at home again for a while."
Kasuka gave a rare smile. "I don't mind, I'll probably take them up on the offer this time," He said, petting the small cat in his arms constantly. "I miss them so much, it will be nice to get babied for a while."
Shizuo chuckled at his brother's declaration, his eyes turning to look at Izaya, and suddenly his happiness faded. The raven had the fuzzy red blanket wrapped tightly around himself, and was staring mutely down at the hospital blanket.
Oh… Shizuo remembered, guilt building up inside him. Feeling a strong urge to cheer up the blind man, he quickly moved over to him. "Izaya?" He began, knowing the raven preferred to know when someone was nearby before they touched him.
When he got an affirmative noise, he reached out and took Izaya's hand in his own, and placing a quick kiss on the top of it. "You okay?" He asked.
Izaya nodded, giving him a smile that wasn't exactly convincing. "Silly Shizu-chan, I'm fine," He replied fondly.
I don't think you are… Shizuo thought, but decided not to push the issue any further. He knew exactly what Izaya was thinking about, but he wasn't exactly sure how he could help. All he could do was be there for the raven, and hope that it helped even the tiniest bit.
Little did Shizuo know, his gentle touches meant the world to Izaya.
It was a few days later when both pairs of parents were finally able to get away from their responsibilities long enough to visit. Kasuka, like he promised, paid eagerly for all the tickets, just happy to be able to see his family again.
Their parents gave no warning other than the fact that they were buying the plane tickets. So, a few days later when the doors to their hospital room practically burst open and four worried parents hurried in, they were more than a little surprised.
The second Shizuo and Kasuka's mother, Namiko Heiwajima, laid eyes on them, she gasped and hurried over to them, followed quickly by their father Kichirou Heiwajima.
"Oh, my boys!" Namiko exclaimed,"Are you alright?! Did you eat well enough?! Is this hospital treating you well? Are your injuries bad?"
"Do you need to be moved to a new hospital? We can request a transfer. Do you need better blankets? We can order some!" Their father added, seeming just as- if not more -worried than their mother.
"Mom, Dad, we're fine!" Shizuo quickly said, but still let them hug him close and fret over even the tiniest bruise. Kasuka's right, it does feel nice to let her baby us a little bit… He thought happily as he practically melted into the loving hug.
Eventually his parents separated from him, their next target being Kasuka. Just like his older brother, the actor ate up the attention from their parents.
Shizuo let a small smile climb up his face as he looked around, seeing Tom's parents fretting over him just as much as his own family was. Turning to look towards Izaya, who was sitting in a nearby chair, silently running his fingers over one of the Braille books Ryu had given him, he took a deep breath. It's now or never.
Heading over to the raven, he calmly said,"Izaya, come with me. I want you to meet my mother and father."
Izaya frowned, quickly shaking his head. "You don't have to do that, Shizu-chan. I'm fine with my book. Go spend time with your family." He calmly said, continuing to run his fingers across the book as he had been before.
Shizuo shook his head, pulling the book out of the raven's grasp and tossing it onto the bed. "Nope, you're not avoiding this," He said firmly, reaching out and taking Izaya's hands in his own.
"Come on, just come and meet them. For me?" He asked in the softest tone he could muster.
Izaya seemed to pout for several seconds before he let out an annoyed sigh. "Fine," He grumbled.
Shizuo brightened up considerably, and pulled Izaya to his feet. He let the raven over to Kasuka and his parents, both of whom turned to look at the raven curiously as they approached.
"Mom, Dad, there's someone I want you to meet," He announced, gesturing towards the blind man next to him. "This is… My boyfriend, Orihara Izaya."
At that declaration, he saw Izaya's cheeks turn a bright red, and his eyes widen in surprise. Even though he seemed shocked by Shizuo's bluntness, he didn't deny the title, which made Shizuo even happier.
His father was the first to break the silence. "Izaya?" He repeated,"Isn't that the name of the young man who you said you hated? The one that disappeared?"
"It is," Shizuo admitted, before quickly adding,"But- erm… Well, things are different now. It turns out he disappeared because he was in the same situation as us… And when those guys came after us, he saved my life."
Kasuka nodded in agreement to Shizuo's words. "We're all friends now," He stated,"It's hard to not become friends after all we went through together."
Tom rolled his eyes from where he had been eavesdropping. "To be honest, I think you two were just really oblivious about your feelings for a long time," He teased. "I mean, you were practically obsessed with each other, even before this all happened."
Both Izaya and Shizuo blushed at the statement, knowing that they were speaking the truth.
The blonde quickly shook his head. "That's not the point," He firmly said, glaring at Tom. "The point is, Izaya's changed and so have I. We've put aside our differences and we… We love each other… A-and I don't care if you don't accept it or not."
His mother and father stared at them quietly, and Shizuo wasn't exactly sure what they could be thinking. He could feel Izaya shaking in his hold, and even he himself felt a little scared about what their reactions might be.
Eventually, his mother slowly moved forward, giving Shizuo a kind smile. "Shizuo, you're my son and I love you, who you love will never change that," She promised. Then, she turned to Izaya, and pulled him into a tight hug.
"Huh? Wha…" Izaya stuttered out, taken aback by the gentle hug.
His mother chuckled. "Don't worry, Izaya-kun, I know that my boys and Tom are great judges of character. If they say they you've changed, I believe them," She kindly declared. "I'm happy that you two have each other."
The feeling of the hug, being held close by a motherly figure for the first time in years, made Izaya's heart twisted painfully. Tears welling up in his eyes as he slowly hugged her back, he let himself grin. "Thank you…" He whispered.
From the sidelines, Shizuo watched the scene with a relieved smile of his own. His family had accepted him and Izaya, the man he loved. It felt like nothing could ruin this moment for him.
Of course, his dad proved him wrong as he leaned over to Kasuka, and declared,"So… It's up to you to give me and your mom grandkids now."
"DAD!"
Two Months Later
Shizuo was running, running as fast as he could. Why did the hallway never end? Why was he never make it to that dark gray door?
"Izaya!" He yelled, desperately reaching out for the door that kept stretching away, just out of his reach. "Izaya please! Hang on!"
Suddenly, there was something underneath his body, sending him tripping and tumbling to the ground. He cringed, turning around and gasping. It was the boss, he was dead, that foam dribbling out of his mouth.
"No…" He croaked, turning back around.
This time, the door was right in front of him, and there was a very familiar red liquid seeping out from the bottom of it. Shizuo's heart pounded as he lifted his hands up, seeing the blood slide down his arms.
He jerked to his feet, slamming the door open and skidding to a stop at what he saw. It was Izaya, standing up and staring at him. The hole in his chest was gigantic, showing his ribs and a collapsed lung, blood pooling all around him.
"You're too late, Shizu-chan," Izaya declared, those wide empty eyes staring at him as bloody tears began to fall. "I died, he killed me… And you couldn't save me."
Shizuo heaved in terror, shaking his head. "No… No!" He wheezed out, shakily walking forward, his bloodied hand weakly reaching out for his lover.
The blood in the room started to rise, as Izaya's gaze turned forlorn. "I waited for you… I waited so long, Shizu-chan. Why did you let him hurt me? Why didn't you save me? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?!"
"Izaya, wait!" He despretly cried, wading his way towards the figure.
To his horror, Izaya's form seemed to begin to melt, starting from his head down as blood began to spill and join the pile below. "It's too late, Shizu-chan… You let him kill me. You let me die."
Right in front of his eyes, Izaya's form melted away. Shizuo let out a horrified scream, but he was too late to stop it.
"IZAYA!"
He gasped, jerking himself awake with a scream ripe in his throat as he thrashed on the bed. "Izaya!" He yelled again,"No! Oh... Oh my god! Izaya! I'm sorry!"
His chest burned, he felt like he was having a heart attack. Why was everything hurting? Why did he feel like he was drowning.
"Shizuo!"
He gasped, he knew that voice. He turned towards the sound, heaving desperately for air. "I-Izaya…" He croaked out, his hand desperately reaching out for his lover.
Izaya's soft hand took his own calloused one, and gently said,"Shizu-chan, I need you to breathe with me, okay? In and out."
Hearing Izaya's voice and breathing with him began to help pull Shizuo out of his panicked state, he took deep breaths along with the raven, until he was able to start breathing on his own at a calmer pace.
"Okay, there you go, I'm proud of you," Izaya softly declared,"You're doing so good. Now, can you tell me where you are?"
Shizuo forced himself to keep breathing as he turned, looking around the room. The blue colored walls, the bookshelves and television, and the soft bed they both were laying in. "I'm… I'm in our apartment…" He softly said,"I'm not in that compound… I'm in our apartment, and… And I'm with you."
Looking back at Izaya, he saw the raven giving him a gentle smile. "There you go. You're doing great, Shizu-chan. Just keep breathing, I'm not going anywhere, I promise," He said.
Shizuo nodded the slightest bit and just stared at his boyfriend as he took several deep breaths. It took him a long time to calm down, but Izaya never moved, he stayed right at Shizuo's side, holding his hand and running his thumb against Shizuo's.
Once he managed to calm down enough to move, Shizuo did the first thing that came to mind. He reached out, pulling his blind lover into a tight embrace. "Izaya… I had the dream again…" He whispered weakly. "The one where I'm too late, and when I get there… He already killed you…"
Izaya didn't respond verbally, instead he wrapped his arms around Shizuo, letting their legs get tangled together underneath the duvet.
"But this time…" Shizuo continued,"You- You were dead, but you were standing up… And you yelled at me… You were asking why I didn't save you, telling me I was too late. Then you melted away… Right in front of my eyes."
The raven lifted his head, looking towards his lover. "Shizu-chan, it's okay. He's dead, he can't hurt us anymore. And I'm alive, I'm right here in your arms. It was just a nightmare," He reminded the blonde.
Shizuo let out a frustrated sigh. "I know it is, I know I don't need to be scared… But it doesn't stop. I know you're still alive, I know you're sleeping in my arms… Why can't I stop having nightmares?!" He angrily demanded.
Izaya took a deep breath, and nestled further into his arms. "Sometimes it's not something we can help," He replied,"I still have them too… Sometimes I'll dream about them killing my family, but… Sometimes, I dream that they were killing you, Kasuka, and Tom instead…"
Shizuo frowned, pressing his face into Izaya's messy hair. "Why am I only hearing about this now?" He questioned.
"I… I didn't want to wake you," Izaya admitted,"You sleep like a rock, I didn't want to bother you with my problems."
The blonde growled, moving Izaya back a bit so that he could kiss those soft lips. "Don't," He ordered,"Next time you have a bad dream- Fuck it, anytime you feel upset, you talk to me, okay? It's what boyfriends do."
When he said 'boyfriends', a blush quickly erupted on Izaya's face. "W-well, that offer extends to you too, Shizu-chan. I'm here for you, no matter what."
Shizuo smiled happily, leaning down to steal one more kiss before he moved back into a better sleeping position, still holding Izaya in his arms. The raven didn't try to move, instead cuddling as close as possible, his head pressed against the blonde's.
"I love you, flea."
"I love you too, protozoan."