All I ask- Adele
Olivia and Rafael had been seeing each other on and off friends with benefits of sorts. They had only slept together a handful of times. Once when she and Brian broke up. Once after a case about two months after that. Then he had a relationship he wanted to be exclusive with, and they fell back into a familiar friendship, three months later the woman that occupied Rafael's heart left, and Olivia went to bed with him a few days later. Neither date and they are regularly are with each other but refuse to call it what it is, even to each other. Olivia wasn't sure why but when Ed Tucker asks her on a date, she agrees, and for a year, Olivia and Rafael easily faze back into being friends. The sex was good, and Olivia had to admit he missed him next to her, but Ed was committed, and when Rafael outs them, she feels betrayed and pushes back towards Ed even more. When Ed finally realized that although Olivia wants the relationship, her hearts not in it, and they say goodbye. That same night Olivia is begging Rafael to come to her, and like a good friend, he complies.
She wants to take the next step, she wants to make it official but neither discuss anything and isn't until he's on the stand for a murder she realizes how much she wants him, but they've talked she already knows that if he's not guilty, he's leaving, his name smeared, his heart crushed. He is done with the city that never sleeps, and in return is done with her.
The "not guilty" verdict is read, and Olivia is extremely happy for her best friend, her lover, but dread quickly comes knowing he is ready to move on.
That night Olivia knocks on his apartment door.
Rafael looked at her and hugged her, holding her close and letting her in.
"I'm leaving next week. I put my notice in," Rafael says quickly.
"I know." Olivia claimed.
That night they fall in bed, but it's different, longing fearful knowing that more than likely after next week, they will part ways. For the next week Rafael and Olivia go to each other's door, back and forth like a moth to the light. She is pulling every second she can with him, and he is doing the same.
It was the night before Rafael's flight, he still never told Olivia what he was doing, and she stopped questioning him 3-4 days ago.
Olivia had made it to his door at 6 pm.
"I know this is goodbye," Olivia stated, refusing to cry, refusing to give in to the emotion that overtook her.
Rafael firmly nodded.
"Let's just act like tomorrow. I will see you in the squad room ready to give me a warrant," Olivia stated.
"Yeah, of course," Rafael said.
He stepped back, wanting to drink in all Olivia Benson one more time. She smiled at him, knowing that they both wanted to remember everything they could of each other. She slowly pulled off his shirt, and he pulled off her blazer, they were slowly undressing each other doing everything in slow motion as if time would stop for them, but the minutes kept ticking by.
Olivia watched as his eyes looked lovingly over her, she knew, and he knew they never said the words, but they could read each other like no one else. She knew this was killing him, and she felt her heart shattering as he grabbed her hands. She refused to bend and followed him to the bedroom.
Rafael traced over Olivia's naked body, using his whole hands at times, trying to memorize her body. Olivia was doing the same. They were holding each other tightly at times, but still, not one word was spoken. Olivia had no idea how much time had passed, but Rafael was on top of her, his eyes asking permission, and she nodded, allowing him to enter her.
This felt so different, so needy than any other time, it felt like love, it felt like need and most importantly, it felt like home, that she was saying goodbye to.
When they were ready to fall asleep, Olivia said.
"I know this what you need to do, thank you for ending it this way, I don't know if I'll ever…."
"Shh Liv, I know," Rafael stated.
He held her as he would never let her go, knowing in the morning he was doing precisely that.