Because I have missed my favorite family & their special brand of humor. Merry Christmas!

Surprising the Kids

"Are you sure this is the right house? It looks like the right one."

"How can you tell? They all look the same, Liv." Fitz grumbled impatiently. "It's like someone took a Christmas cookie cutter and just made the same house over and over and over and..."

"I get it." Olivia said, interrupting him. She took his hand and intertwined their fingers before putting both of their hands on her lap.

Fitz put the car in park at the end of the driveway in front of the fancy house. Turning to Olivia he said, "I hope this is the wrong house."

She grinned at him and shyly asked, "you do?"

"Oh yea" Fitz answered excitedly.

"Why?"

"So, I can make out with my incredibly sexy wife in the dark." he told her in a lust filled voice.

Olivia giggled at him before taking off her seatbelt and leaning towards him. Before her brain could process what had happened, Fitz had pulled her onto his lap in one swift motion, and his hands were eagerly roaming all over her body while his tongue invaded her mouth.

They weren't newlyweds. Far from it. They knew they had all the time in the world to do whatever their very creative minds could come up with to do with each other. So, they took it slow.

The temperature inside the car quickly became immensely warmer. The windows that had been fogged over from the cold became clear and then fogged over once again from the heat emanating from the two bodies that were overly anxious to become one for the countless time.

As their mouths became hungrier and their hands became greedy for more flesh to touch, Olivia broke the kiss. Fitz whined like a petulant child and tried in vain to restart the kissing, but Olivia giggled and dove into the back seat.

"What in the hell are you doing back there?" he asked.

"I'm hoping to ask you the same question if you'll get back here and join me."

"There is never a dull moment being married to you, babe." Fitz turned the car off and tried to maneuver his large frame into the back seat. He had one long leg folded up onto the driver's seat and was trying to get the other one off the floorboard when his arm slipped and landed on the horn, causing it to beep for what seemed like an eternity.

Olivia giggled from the backseat. "Someone isn't as flexible as they used to be."

"You'll think flexible when I have your ass up in the air." Fitz threatened.

"Promises, promises." Olivia teased. "Hurry up and get back here. I'm getting cold all by myself."

"I'm going as fast as I...Wait! How cold?" he demanded.

"Gimme your hand." Olivia instructed.

Fitz didn't waste time. Reaching back into the dark void, his fingertips finally touched hers. And then he felt something very cold and stiff. He'd know that nipple anywhere. "Fuck this!" he shouted.

He pulled his hand away quickly and pulled on the door handle, opening the driver's side door. When the interior light came on, Fitz caught sight of his wife in the backseat. She had gotten every stitch of her clothing off and was as naked as the day she'd been born. She was stretched out on the backseat and beckoning him with a come here motion with her index finger.

Pushing the driver's seat forward, Fitz took a step inside the vehicle as he slammed the door shut behind himself. He locked the door for good measure. How he was going to get his own clothes off within the confines of the backseat wasn't the most pressing thought on his mind at the moment. Getting his hands on his naked wife's body was!

He toppled clumsily onto her with an "oof" before righting himself. He could feel her warm breath just below him. The streetlight that was several hundred feet away from their car gave a faint light inside the car. Fitz was once again thankful that he had gotten the dark tinted windows on his car when he bought it. Nobody outside would be able to see a thing they were about to do to each other.

He couldn't make out her face, but Fitz knew exactly where Olivia was. After thirty five years of marriage, he always knew where she was. He reached a hand down into the darkness and pushed away the strand of hair that always flopped across her neck when she laid on her back in bed. And just like always, he smiled down at her and said that one word that conveyed much more meaning that the greeting other people used it for. "Hi."

Olivia never wondered if they were stuck in a marital rut. She loved the familiarity the two of them shared whether they were eating dinner, grocery shopping, or making love. Whenever her husband spoke that one syllable word to her, Olivia's whole world calmed, and then faded away. Nothing mattered more than the sound of his rich baritone voice speaking directly to her soul. The smile that bloomed across her face was automatic. God, she loved this crazy man of hers more than life itself. "Hi."

"You mentioned me being behind you." he said casually.

"You mentioned my ass being up in the air too, but here we are with you on top of me. Does that mean we're getting too old for this?" He was about to be driving her to the brink of insanity, she knew.

"Olivia Grant!" Fitz said in a low warning. "The day I'm too old to do to you the things I threaten is the day you need to tie me to the bed and teach me a lesson."

She laughed loudly at her crazy man. The happy sound faded and was replaced by a deep soulful moaning as Fitz dipped his head in the dark and began sucking on the now warm soft nipple. He released it just as quickly and blew on it, causing it to stand at attention while the fingers on his left hand went even lower and began to rub against her bundle of nerves.

Fitz felt her little hands grip his shoulders as she began to writhe underneath him. "Mmmm, you're not laughing now are you?"

He slid a finger deep inside of her and Liv practically purred for him. "I'm partial to your laugh. I really am. But I will have to say that I adore the sound coming from your lips right now more than anything. Do you want more?"

"I want...ohhhh god, Fitz! I want..."

He leaned down into her neck and began sucking the sensitive skin there. Fitz put his mouth close to her ear and whispered, "What is it that you want, babe? You seem to be having a hard time telling me."

"Skin!"

"Skin? What the...Are you turning into Buffalo Bill on me, Liv?" Fitz teased. In a mocking tone he added, "it puts the lotion on the skin" before dissolving into a fit of laughter.

Olivia's only reply was tugging her husband's sweater over his head.

"Ohhhh. Skin. You want some skin on skin time with me, is that it?"

Her hands went to his muscular back where she roughly massaged the skin there until he yelped.

"Dammit, woman. That hurts! I'm not as young as I used to be."

"Awww, did I hurt the big sensitive man?" Olivia teased.

"That's it!" Fitz declared. He got onto his knees and began pulling his clothing off.

Finally! Olivia thought. There was a time and place to take your time and enjoy each other. But this small space wasn't it. The muscle in her right leg was starting to tense, signaling a charlie horse. If Olivia was going to be screaming inside the car, it was going to be from the pleasure Fitz provided. Not pains from muscle spasms.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but Fitz finally got all of his clothes off. It was gonna take him forever to get them turned right side out in the dark and back on his body, but he didn't care about that right now. He had to figure out how to fulfill his threat.

"How about you try to get on your hands and knees on the seat?" he suggested.

"And you're gonna what? Stick your head out the imaginary sunroof?"

"Alright, smartass. Do you have a better suggestion?"

As a matter of fact, I do." she snapped. "Sit down on the seat."

"I love it when you tell me what to do." he encouraged.

"You don't seem to love it when I'm telling you to take out the trash."

"Focus here!" Fitz commanded.

Olivia straddled his lap and after taking matters into her own hands, she impaled herself on his hard length. She wrapped her arms around his neck when she felt his large hands grasp onto her hips. Every time their bodies joined together like this it felt magical. It was easy to get caught up in the closeness and tenderness Olivia shared with Fitz in these moments. He was still such a master at dragging out the pleasure for both of them that she felt a tad guilty for rushing things.

She felt him lift her body up and then pull her back down onto him. They could be in the car for a while like this and Olivia wouldn't complain.

"Babe, you feel amazing." Fitz breathed out. "Let's forget surprising the kids and just stay in here forever."

Her eyes were closed, and her arms were wrapped around his neck with her mouth close to his ear, but she had a smile on her face as she listened to her husband's words. He really was crazy. They couldn't stay here. She would need a comfortable place to...

"We can stretch out in the backseat and you can lay on my chest and sleep in your happy place. I can practically hear you thinking about it." Fitz lifted her once more and rocked his hips back and forth as he pulled her back down on his lap.

"Ahhhh" she breathed out. He knew just how to hit her spot and make her forget all reasoning. "What about food?"

"I think there's a candy bar in the glove compartment." he informed her.

Olivia opened her eyes and looked out the back window at the exact moment when Fitz began lifting her a little quicker than the lazy pace her had started out with. "What about the cops?"

Fitz nuzzled in her neck and planted little kisses behind her ear. "Maybe we can buy them donuts for leaving us alone every night?"

Snapping out of her sexual fog, and hating that it had to be done, Olivia sat up a little straighter and said, "no, really, Fitz. What about the cops?"

"Why are you so preoccupied with the cops right now, babe? Shouldn't you be thinking about how great this feels?"

"Because a squad car just pulled up right behind us."

"What?!" Fitz practically tossed Olivia onto the floorboard trying to turn around and see if his wife was being honest or not. "No, no, no, no! I'm not done here yet!"

"Fitz!" Olivia tried to get out of his grasp. She had to get her clothes on before the officer got to the car door and tapped on it.

"Do you think he'll wait another two minutes?" Fitz asked. "Maybe three?"

"What? No! Are you insane? We need to get our clothes on because he is NOT seeing me naked!"

"You think I want him to see ME naked? I can't get another ticket, Liv."

"You've gotten a ticket for indecent exposure before?" she asked in a confused tone.

"No. For being so sexy it's against the law." Fitz grinned and pecked her lips before thrusting his hips upward against hers.

"Ohmygod" she muttered, still trying to get off of him. "You are ridiculous. You're not wrong, but you are ridiculous. Now stop so we can get dressed."

"It's your move, Liv."

"Why is it my move?" she demanded.

"Because you're on top of me."

"Are you saying you want me to get off?" she asked lustily.

"Later, nympho. Right now, we have to act like the upstanding citizens we are."

"But you're gonna make it up to me, right?" Olivia pouted.

"Mmmm if you can get us out of a ticket with your sexy lawyer talk, I promise to give you whatever you want wherever you want it."

"Deal." She dipped her head and nipped at his lip. "Give me my sweater."

"I can't tell what's your sweater and what's your underwear."

"If you ever want to see me naked again, Fitzgerald, you will take that back!" Olivia threatened.

"I mean because it's dark in here" Fitz growled.

"Oh. Okay." She pulled her sweated over her head, sans bra, and was trying to figure out which jeans were whose when there was a sharp tapping on the driver's side window. Both she and Fitz froze for a second before moving even faster at getting dressed.

He had his shirt on, as well as his boxer briefs, even if they were on inside out. At least his Christmas balls were covered up, and that was all that mattered at the moment. "Liv? Are you decent enough for me to roll down the window?"

Olivia huffed loudly. "The important stuff is covered up. Go ahead."

Fitz clumsily climbed into the front seat and pushed a button to let the window down about three inches. He put a grin in place and looked out the window, asking, "is everything alright, officer?"

The man in uniform leaned down and peered through the opened window at the driver. A familiar smell drifted out at him. "You tell me."

"Excuse me?"

"Why did it take you so long to open the window just enough that I could see your face?"

"It's a funny story, officer."

"Let's skip right to the punchline, Sir." the officer suggested.

"My wife and I were having sex in our car." Fitz blurted out.

"Fitz!" Olivia hissed in a mortified tone from the backseat.

"I see. Step out of the car please, Sir."

"Ummm, I don't have my shoes on yet!" Olivia declared.

"You can stay in the car until you do, ma'am." the officer told her.

"Is it really necessary for me to get out of the car?" Fitz asked.

"It is. Exit the vehicle now, Sir." The door was opened, and Fitz stepped out. The officer quickly glanced in the backseat and saw that Olivia was almost done putting her shoes on. "If you're dressed, you can leave the vehicle now too, ma'am."

Olivia wordlessly climbed out the car door. Even with her sweater on, it was freezing outside, and she hugged her arms across her chest. She and Fitz were separated and was each being questioned by different officers. Fitz was using his hands to express himself as he spoke, and Olivia couldn't contain the chuckle that tumbled from her lips as she watched him.

The officer that had asked her to get out of the car spoke to Olivia. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

"I'm a little embarrassed, but I'm fine." she admitted, tugging her pants up.

"Do you know the man who was in the car with you?"

Olivia raised an eyebrow and pointed at Fitz. "You mean that man? Yea. He's my husband."

"And the two of you were engaging in physical activity when we pulled up behind you?"

"Ohmygod. This is beyond embarrassing." Olivia muttered. "Yes, we were."

By this time, several people who lived in the surrounding houses had come outside to see what all the commotion was all about. They were standing at the ends of their driveways near the street to watch the happenings. There were two police cars parked on the street now and their blue lights were flashing for all to see in the dark night.

Olivia was embarrassed and cold and was never letting Fitz talk her into something so ridiculous ever again. The officers were wrapping their line of questioning up and realizing this was just a happily married couple enjoying a spontaneous moment in the car when a voice in the dark yelled out, "Please tell me those aren't my parents!"

Fitz and Olivia's heads snapped up in unison towards the familiar voice. They couldn't see anyone, but they both knew who the voice belonged to. Before Olivia could tell him to not answer, Fitz happily yelled out, "hey Link!"

"Oh my god it IS my parents!"

"This night just keeps getting better and better." Olivia muttered as she again pulled on the waist of the jeans she had on.

"What are you doing here?" Lincoln called out.

"We came to surprise the three of you!" Fitz called back.

"Sir, please refrain from taking to the spectators." The officer advised him.

"That CANNOT be mom and dad!" another horrified voice yelled.

Olivia covered her face with her hands. "That cannot be Kate!"

"Katie bug is here?" Fitz asked grinning and looking around for her. "Hey, princess." He tuned to the officer, remembering his words. "Sorry. That's my daughter."

"How fun for her, Sir." The officer muttered.

"Why is our old man standing in the street in his underwear being questioned by the cops?"

"Is that you, Carter?" Fitz called out. Turning to Olivia he giddily said, "everyone's here, Liv."

Olivia shot her husband a look.

"What did I do?" he asked in an innocent voice.

Lincoln, Kate, and Carter came closer to where their parents stood in front of the officers.

"We're letting you both go with a warning, but please don't attempt this again. There will be a note in your file should you be pulled over for it in the future." He left them and got into his squad car.

"Did ya hear that, Liv? We have a note in our file! How cool is that?" Fitz asked giddily.

"We don't have a file, Fitz. He was being sarcastic. Probably just trying to soften the blow of us having to deal with our kids seeing us pulled over in front of their neighbor's house."

"What is this all about?" Lincoln asked as the officers got back into the cars and drove off.

"You don't want to know." Olivia told her son.

"Gimme a hug, man." Fitz said grinning with open arms.

"Not until you put some pants on, dad." Lincoln replied with a grimace.

"Oh. Yea, that would probably be a good idea." Fitz said, and dashed toward the car.

"Why did the police pull you over, mom?" Lincoln asked.

"Everything okay, Lincoln?" a voice nearby yelled out.

"Great." Link muttered. "This shit might as well be on the news now."

"Hey! Watch your mouth!" Olivia advised motherly.

"Mom, you are not in a good place to tell me what to say. Dad was questioned by the police wearing his underwear and a long sleeved bakery shirt."

"Yea, but..." Olivia tried.

"And you have on a sweater that's practically see through along with what looks like dad's jeans."

Olivia crossed her arms in front of her chest and pulled her pants up again.

"Liiiiiiiiiiiiv? I can't find my jeans." Fitz called out from inside the car.

"And the guy who just asked if everything is alright? He's the nosiest man in the world. Believe me when I say this will be on Facebook and Twitter within the hour."

"At least we're not boring." Olivia said with a grin.

"Life would be so much easier if you were." Kate said.

"You guys are so damn cute, mom. Don't ever change." Carter said with a grin like his mother's and gave her a warm hug.

Fitz got out of the car. "I couldn't get your pants on..."

"No kidding." Olivia muttered.

"...so, I grabbed the flannel blanket you keep in the trunk."

"Why aren't we asking the burning question everyone wants the answer to?" Carter asked with raised eyebrows.

Olivia shook her head back and forth, knowing these three large versions of their father were not going to let the humorous situation go until she answered their embarrassing questions. She might as well get it out of the way so they could all enjoy the rest of the evening without bringing it up again. "We..."

"What did you get us for Christmas?" he asked.

Fitz chuckled, and slung an arm around his youngest son's neck. "If the three of you promise to never talk about this again, I'll pay for one more gift of your choosing."

Lincoln, Kate, and Carter exchanged smirks with each other and ultimately said, "nah. We're gonna get a lot of mileage out of this one."

"That's what your mother said right before the police showed up." Fitz joked.

The three adult kids replied with groans, boos, and fake puking expressions.

"Can the two of you promise to drive straight to Link's house without taking off any clothes this time?" Kate asked.

"We'll meet you in the driveway, just to be sure." Lincoln added. He and his siblings started walking away and laughing together.

"I think your mother has had enough excitement for one night." Fitz told them.

Olivia chuckled as she held onto the waist of her husband's jeans with one hand and his hand with the other. Fitz opened the passenger door for her, and she grabbed the front of his shirt, bringing him down for a sizzling kiss. He backed her up against the car with a thud and his large cold hands quickly found their way under her sweater to play with her equally cold nipples.

Breaking the kiss, but still enjoying the feel of her husband's hands on her skin, Olivia called out to her adult children, "you three better go inside and start the coffee. We'll meet you in the house shortly."

"Oh...my...god!" Kate exclaimed, seeing her parent's shadows groping each other.

"Mom is as big of a perv as dad is!" Lincoln said in disgust.

"I hope to be just like them when I grow up." Carter said grinning.

Fitz kissed a trail from her lips into the crook of her neck and up to her earlobe. "Shortly is code for an hour, right babe?"

"You bet your ass Mr. Grant."

"God, I love you."

"Mmmm, I love you more." Olivia told him.

"After thirty-five years, you should know it's not possible. Now, take off my pants and get in the car."

"You're sexy when you tell me what to do."

"In that case, you're about to think I'm the sexiest man alive." He watched her easily step out of his pants and swatted her bare ass as she climbed into the back seat.