Chapter 12: Ten hundred, sharp!
There's a loud groan followed by Sssnnffffff Khahhhh! It's the weird sound that only Sonny can make. A combination of a deep sniff and a snore at the same time. It's the sound of him clearing sleep from the back of his throat as he turns over from where he lays on the couch. He's waking up. Coming around from being a comatose drunk to being a, half asleep, drunk.
His hand reaches down, feeling along the bottom edge of the couch until finally, it lands on what he's looking for. He hesitates, resting his fingers against the cool glass of the Jack Daniels bottle lying on the floor beside him. He grasps it in his hand and then without even opening his eyes, picks it up from its resting place and butts the hard glass rim against the soft of his lips.
"Empty!" Fuck! He swears as he literally sucks the last two, life giving, drops from inside. Desperate to taste the warm liquor, and its special healing powers on his tongue again. Shit!
Sssnnffff! He sniffs again, throwing the now useless empty bottle down on the floor. It makes a clinking sound as the glass hits against the other whiskey bottle, also empty and discarded there. He turns over onto his side he blinks his eyes open. Looking up at, the sound muted, TV.
His free right hand finds its way inside, the four-day old, boxer shorts he's wearing and scratches at the itch on his balls. While he continues to lay like a zombie, staring at the bright, eye aching images of the news channel that's been on constant repeat.
He sighs again. Not a mention, not a hint, nothing has made its way to the world media about their mission. Four days on and not even a mention of the Captain or the crew. He smiles at the fact that even some pauper renegade pirates made more of a story than Russians, a bomb and hijacked US warship. What the fuck is going on in this world? Sonny muses in his drunken state.
Four days! That's how long Sonny's been laid there in a drunken stupor, the only time he's moved was to venture to the liquor store in search of more supplies, and then back and forward a couple of times to the front door, when the takeaway delivery arrived.
He's lived on rationed portions of the two large, now cold pizzas he ordered two days ago. Hell, he didn't need food. He could live quite well on booze only. Hunger never became an issue as long as he had the required amount of alcohol, and he'd never sobered up enough to feel hungry.
Booze had been his friend, his companion for the past four days. But now, now something was interrupting that partnership and it seemed like they were parting company. He was beginning to sober up and he could hear a heavy pounding sound of that in his head. Fuck! Oh fuck!
No it's really not in his head, the sound is that of a loud pounding fist against the apartment door. "Sonny!... Sonny, open the fucking door!" Clay yells loudly from the hallway outside as he bangs his hand hard on the door.
Oh hell! Sonny drops back against the couch pillows, his hand reaching to the side table, taking the empty beer can, shaking it and then draining the dregs from inside.
Thud! Thud! Thudddd!... Thudddd! Thud! The banging goes on, relentless this time as Clay doesn't stop "Sonny it's Clay! I know you're in there"
Then. Thank god! There's a silent momentary pause before Oh hell! The banging and shouting begins again. "Sonny! I'll break this down if you don't open it!" He won't, he's not recovered enough to kick in a door yet, but he can make it sound like he will.
Sonny still ignores the knocking, instead looking at the time and date on his cell phone. Oh fuck! He rubs his head. He sighs wondering where the last three days remembers the first day, but after that it's an alcohol induced blur.
He looks at the endless stream of missed calls and texts from Clay's number, interspersed randomly with some from Trent. A 'Hi, are you okay? Call me if you need me.' from Brock then followed by another continuous stream of Text me. Call me. Then 'where the fuck are yous' from Clay. He frowns staring at the list of names and numbers and noticeable by its absence, there's nothing from Jason. Sonny sighs loudly.
Bannnggg! Bang! ...Bang! The door goes again.
He's not gonna fuckin let up is he? Sonny resigns himself to the fact that he's going to have to open the door as he hears Clay start to kick at it. Shit! "Alright ..alright! Give me a fuckin chance to get there. Some of us were sleepin don't ya know!"
He surfaces from the couch. His head too heavy for his body, his neck stiff and it aches. He adjusts his hat on his head then stumbles, wearing only his underpants, to the door and unlocks it.
"Where the fu... oh my god!" The stench from inside the apartment wafts out of the door, hitting Clay full on. It makes his eyes water and his throat retch "What the hell happened to you?" Clay stands staring, his head lined with a frown at the smell and mess confronting him.
"Yeah, hi to you too, and come in why don't you. Seein as you had every intention of letting yourself in any way."
Sonny takes his place back on the couch in front of the TV. He leans forward, resting his head in his hands. He takes his cap off and pulls his fingers through the greasy mess of his hair, then moving his hand downward, he strokes the overgrown, scruffy and matted, facial growth on his face.
"Sonny, what the hell happened here?" Clay frowns searching the apartment for somewhere to sit and somewhere that's not covered by empty tins of beer or bottles. He picks up one, a half drunk, small bottle of whiskey that's still emptying some of its contents on to the floor. He's really lost for words as he looks with utter horror at the state of apartment, and Sonny. "What the hell..."
"Look... if all you're here for, is to criticize my cleaning procedures. Then you know what... turn right around and follow your tail out that door again!"
"No... no I don't care what this place looks like, through while you mention it ...Jesus Christ Sonny it's a mess!" he sighs. He takes a deep breath "What the hell's going on with you? And why haven't you answered me? It's been four days now. You didn't even come see me at the hospital. I've been calling non-stop to check if you were alright. I was worried Sonny. Even Trent came and tried to get hold of you, two days ago. He said he thought you'd gone out. It don't look like you've been anywhere!"
"Yeah! Yeah I know. And I see that you called. If you ask me it's that amount of calls, well it's bordering on stalker like behaviour. I mean, can't a man have a few days peace and quiet to be by himself?"
"Yeah, yeah you can but not to be like this. This is not good Sonny" He sighs picking up some of the empty bottles from the floor "I'm gonna make you some coffee. Sober you up. I want you to come with me and see Ray. Trent says he's awake now. And Naima needs some support"
"I don't wanna sober up. I'm quite happy just the way I am, thank you! So, you take all your good intentions and go ... I'm sure you can find someone more needy to go practice your charity work on"
"Sonny... what the hell's wrong with you. You need to snap out of this. You know Jason's never gonna let you back if he sees this. The state of this place...the state of you! You need to get it together and like ASAP!"
"Why? Why the hell should I? What good will it do, hmmm? You tell me. What the hell I got goin for me now anyways"
"Sonny, don't talk like this. Look what ever happened I'm sure Jason will calm down, soon. Yeah, sure he'll kick your ass about for a week or so, maybe longer. And okay worst case... he sends you to green team for a bit. But he's not gonna kick you off the team, not for good. You messed up but you're a good operator, one of the best and Jason knows that. Hell, Blackburn's never gonna let him do that either!"
"No.. no, the things I said to him when we got back. No that wasn't pretty. And the fact he's not called my phone, not once. No, my boat has sailed. Me getting back in this team, it's not gonna happen, I know it. Hell, it would take divine intervention for Jason to let me back in BRAVO now."
Clay frowns "What the hell did you say to him?"
"Oh, you don't wanna know" he rubs at his head as he remembers his words "Hell, you know.. after a bottle of whiskey.. well.. well it seemed such a good idea. Though I'd clear the air, you know if I got all my feelin's off my chest. But you know maybe it don't seem such a great idea now."
He sighs rubbing his head "Oh Clay don't worry about me alright. I'm sure I'll end up a nice little statistic somewhere, one of those has been operators who spend their days drunk or on meds on some doctors watch list!"
"I'm getting you some coffee. This is drunken bullshit. You need to sober up and stop talking crap."
"I don't want coffee. You wanna be useful? Then go get me more whiskey."
Clay grabs the bottle of vodka Sonny now finds and takes it from him. Marching straight to the sink in the kitchenette, he pours it down the drain. "Stop!"
Sonny's fuming, following him, desperately clinging to the bottle. As he watches the contents disappear down the drain he lashes out, taking a fist throwing swing at Clay.
He misses. Landing himself with a heavy, shoulder aching thud on the floor. Fuck! He lays looking at the floor, unable to lift himself up. Rolling onto his back he just lays where he fell and stares at the ceiling.
Clay stands over his virtually naked body "Feel better for that? " he shakes his head "What the hell do you look like? Get your ass up!... NOW Sonny! Get up! I mean it." Clay sighs watching as somehow Sonny finds a way to stagger to his feet. Holding the hurt in his shoulder from the fall he stands swaying looking at Clay "Bossy little fucker aren't you!"
Clay smiles, then laughs " C'mon, let's get you a shower. Then coffee, then breakfast and then...then we'll go see Ray. Maybe he can talk some sense into that thick skull of yours!"
"Clay, I can't go see Ray. Not today. Not like this."
"Why ? What'd you do to Ray?"
"Nothin"
"So... then what's the problem? Look Sonny, Ray needs us alright. He needs us to keep his spirits up. C'mon he might be facing being out, through no choice of his own. And then there's you, you trying to throw it away, all by yourself. Yeah nice one Sonny. Well the least you can do is be there for Ray. Just be a man and face him"
Sonny sighs, he can feel his lip quiver, a lump in his throat hurts as he starts to get all emotional. The tears well in his eyes. He desperately fights to stop them rolling down his cheeks. He loses that battle. Fuck! "Clay what the hell am I gonna do? I got nothin without BRAVO you know that. I don't think I can go on if I don't have my team."
He cries openly now, and it worries Clay. He wraps his arms around his naked flesh and holds him tight, or as tight as his healing injury will allow. "C'mon don't do this. Go get a shower and clean yourself up, cos...Sonny you stink!" they both smile "And Sonny, I hope you got some clean underwear in there, cos those shorts, they are not good!"
"Why what's wrong with these?" he smiles as he looks at the various indescribable stains on them "You know I thought they'd be good for at least another couple of days?!" He laughs "Clay... thanks buddy. Thanks for comin to see me. I needed this. I can't get through this without you!"
"I know. You know I'm here for you, always. Now go! And I'll see about gettin this place cleaned up."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
AS they enter the hospital Sonny starts taking deep breaths. Waves of anxiety surge through his body, his hands shakes, though that's probably the tremors from not drinking for about three hours now. It would probably take a month to detox his liver the amount of alcohol he consumed in the past four days. Shit! "You know, I can't do this. I mean, what the hell am I gonna say to him?"
"Sonny, just calm down alright. Be normal. Be yourself."
"Be myself? Hell, even I don't know what my self is anymore! I can't do this, Clay." he takes a breath and turns around ready to walk away
"Sonny Quinn!Get your ass back here, right now!" Clay frowns "Now stop this. Ray need us, so it's time to suck it up, and stop feeling sorry for you."
"Yeah, you're right." He nods .
They get to the door of the side room and they can see Naima. She has her head down resting on Ray's hand as she sits by his bedside. She looks up and smiles at them "Come in. He's sleeping"
Oh hell! Sonny frowns seeing her sat there all alone. He can feel his emotions stirring up inside "Naima, honey how ya doin?"
"I'm good thanks, Sonny" she clings to Ray's hand, stroking it "You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. How's he doin'? He come around yet?"Clay and Sonny nervously approach the bedside, they can see Ray still has his eyes tight shut. Various drips still coming out of his arms
"They said he's good" she smiles apprehensively, her face tired and tear stained. She doesn't look like she's slept "He's still very tired from all the drugs they're giving him for the pain. I'm hoping to bring the kids up later, to see him. Hopefully that will cheer him up some. He's so low. Worrying about making it back to the team. I've told him he has to take his time"
Sonny swallows, he feels terrible. Wondering how he could have felt so sorry for himself when Ray was facing this. He might not make it back and it was none of his doing. He and Clay look at each other
"He'll be fine! He's strong" Clay smiles "And we're here for him, all of us. We'll get him through this, just wait and see!"
Clay wraps his arms around her as she puts her head in her hands and starts to cry "What if he doesn't Clay? What will he do? Oh god...how will he cope without BRAVO you are his brothers. He'll never cope"
Shit! Sonny can't look, his own eyes now filling with tears. All he can think is how pathetic he feels, how helpless and how, hungover. "I'll go get some coffees" he excuses himself.
As he leaves the room and enters the corridor he can see Jason striding towards him. Oh hell! He looks up, wiping the one solitary tear from his face as he's confronted, for the first time since they got back, by Jason "Oh .. hey" he smiles apprehensively unsure of the welcome he might receive now. "Naima said Ray's doing okay, you goin to see him? I'm just gonna get coffee's you want one?"
Jason just stares at him and doesn't speak.
"Jason?" Sonny sighs and tries again "Jace man, look I'm sorry alright. Sorry for everything. But I just wondered, you know what's gonna happen yet? You know if I'm gonna get disciplined." he frowns as Jason still doesn't answer. "Oh, c'mon man! There must be something you can tell me by now. You know I've put up with this for four-days and still heard nothin'. All I wanna know is am I gonna still be rollin with BRAVO or are you plannin' on shippin' me out ?"
Jason smiles, well it's more of a smirk, but he still won't answer his questions. He turns around, heading back in the direction of Ray's room. Walking away from Sonny.
"Hey c'mon man!" Sonny jogs behind him, making a grab at his arm, turning him around to face him "Please man, I'm beggin here. Just tell me what's gonna happen. I just wanna know my punishment. Look Jace, I'm ready to face anything you wanna throw at me, but this .. this silence, this ignoring me. This I can't take!"
"Ahhh! So what? I'm supposed to feel sorry for ya? Feel sorry you can't take it. You did this Sonny. YOU! Only you are to blame for the situation you find yourself in."
"C'mon, I said I'm sorry. I said I didn't know what happened, that it was one off mistake, something that will never ever happen again. It was a moment of madness. I just... I just felt for her. I just ... oh I don't know. Yeah fine, I'll admit I really liked her. When she told me they tortured her, well it made me feel sick. She was innocent, Jason, and they hurt her real bad. We connected"
"Oh, listen to ya! That sure is some pathetic justification. She's a terrorist Sonny. She made a bomb to hurt hundreds, if not thousands of people. How do you know she didn't do it willingly? How do you know what she told you was even the truth ? You felt sorry for her. God, I didn't realise how pathetic you really are. Everything we've been through as a team and you threw a way in a moment"
"Hey, I know what I did alright. But let me put it right. Let me show you again why I'm on BRAVO. C'mon Jace, one mistake that's all it was" he sighs "Okay well then at least do me the decency and tell me what's gonna happen. How you're gonna make me pay"
"You know what Sonny, go home and sober up, if you can! Then take a shower, cos you stink!" he sighs "Then get yourself together, cos you need to report to Blackburn's office at ten hundred tomorrow. That's where you'll find out what's gonna happen to you. I'm looking forward to it. I hope he makes it good. But I promise you, if he don't and by some fluke of luck, fate whatever the hell you wanna call it and you do remain with BRAVO, then you can count on me making your life hell. But till tomorrow... get the hell out of my sight!"
Clay's at the doorway watching them in the corridor "Everything here alright? he frowns
"Yeah, yeah Sonny's just leaving. He needs to go clean up. Seems he's got himself in a right messy situation"
"Jace please... " Clay frowns "look I know, what he did but don't you think this has gone too far now? Bravo needs Sonny. I need him. C'mon, Jason we all messed up on that mission. We all did things that... that maybe we could've done better or shouldn't have done. You included. Just give him his punishment. Run his ass around a few times. Hell, I don't know even stick him training green team if you must. Could give the rest of us a laugh"
He smiles trying to lighten the really intense atmosphere between them all "Jace, with Ray in a bad way, this is when we need to pull together. Need to be there for Ray"
"Clay just concentrate on getting yourself fit again. I'm gonna need you back now, more than ever. You're gonna be stepping up and I need to know you have your loyalties straight"
Clay sighs "Jason, don't question my loyalties. But you know this is wrong. What you're doing, how far you're pushing this. It's not right. I think you need to be questioning your loyalties and some of your decisions a bit more .. cos what I seen lately...this is not the Jason I know, and respected"
Jason smiles at Clay. He bites his lip. He's annoyed. Maybe Clay's right maybe he is pushing this too far but there is no way that he's going to admit that he thinks that. No way he's going to back down.
He pushes past them both "You know I have to go see Ray now. See if my number two needs anything from me. See if I can help him in anyway. I'll catch up with you later. Clay, go home and get some rest. Oh, and Sonny... remember ten hundred sharp, tomorrow Blackburn's office!"