Words: 4048
Warnings: Angst, hurt, comfort, So many emotions so little time
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Singer
Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader Singer/Y/N/You, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Jody Mills, Unnamed Doctor, Mentions Of Unnamed Witch, Mentions Of Rowena
A/N: So this series has been going a long time now, slowly coming to an end. I'm really happy with the way that this chapter especially has turned out! Thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed this series and let me know!
Dean paces around in the hospital room, he's unable to keep still, he keeps glancing down at you, even if you are bloodied and unconscious in that damn bed. Sam watches his brother carefully, he knows Dean is blaming himself for this, just like he does everything else. What Dean still fails to realise is that not everything can be his fault, this had been a situation taken out of everyone's control. Of course he knows that if you were awake right now you'd be saying the same, that none of this was his fault and you'd made a decision.
Now, of course Sam was right, Dean can only think of the fact that it's his fault entirely that you're even there in the first place. If he'd just taken you with him into that damn cabin, he could've protected you, kept her away from you. The doctors still haven't returned to the room since you'd been dropped off by them after your surgery.
Bobby and Jody had been pulled aside by another doctor assessing your case, asking for the family history. Dean had said you were his wife, he needed to be as close to you as possible and he didn't want them waiting to tell him anything. His hands fisted in his hair and he wanted to scream, he just had the same images running through his mind, when you'd pulled that trigger, thinking that you were protecting him and his brother.
"Dean, you gotta sit down man" Sam sighs worriedly, running a hand through his hair giving Dean a soft smile when he finally listens, taking the seat closest to her bed. Then his knee starts bouncing as he chews his bottom lip, Sam decides to ignore it, since at least he's sitting finally. He takes your small hand in his, you're colder than he's ever known you to be, he knows how much you hate being cold.
"Sammy, could get her something, she's too cold, she doesn't like being cold" Dean rasps, his voice a little strained as he speaks. Sam nods squeezing Dean's shoulder as he walks past and leaves the room, in search of a nurse or a doctor.
Dean sits there quietly just watching you breathe, that's something at least, he thinks to himself. He gently squeezes your hand in both of his, pressing a kiss to the back of your soft hand. He can feel his chest tightening, and the tears welling in his eyes and he's doing everything he can to push them down, but it just isn't working. His jaw is ticking with the effort of it, as he clenches it hard, but the tears aren't stopping this time. He couldn't stop them even if he wanted to. Dean wants nothing more than to climb in this bed with you and your eyes to open and look up at him.
To him you're so perfect and you don't even know what you do to him, the way you make him feel. How every time he sees you smile or laugh his heart swells in his chest. The way you rest against his chest and cuddle against him every time the two of you are alone. He didn't have the balls to tell you how he'd felt about you, now there's that part of him that he's ignoring and it's killing him, that he wonders if it is too late to tell you. Was he gonna lose you?
Dean's voice is so quiet and strained as he speaks, "Sweetheart, I'm so damn sorry for all of this. I'm so sorry that you were the one who had to protect my brother from something I'd done. Or not done" he adds as an afterthought.
The tears fall from his tired eyes so easily, despite his waning protest, he's completely drained and so sick of fighting, especially with himself. Dean's elbows rested on the side of your bed as he pressed his forehead against your hand, silently begging you to wake up and come back to him. "You know, every time you smile you light up the entire goddamn room. I miss that already. When you stood up to your ex, after everything he'd done to you, everything he'd said. You were so strong, so badass it was sexy as hell. Not that you need to try, I'm no good at any of this. Somehow you make everything easier though, so I need you to wake up please, sweetheart" he whispers, pressing his lips softly to yours.
He moves back just slightly pressing his lips against the skin of your hand, eyes completely focused on your beautiful face, so much so that he doesn't hear the door when it opens behind him.
In fact he doesn't even notice the person who enters the room, not until they clear their throat. He jumps a little, letting go of you with one hand, so that he can quickly wipe his face clean of the tears before turning to face whoever had entered. "Sorry to interrupt you Mr Winchester. I'm here to discuss your wife's current condition with you" the doctor told him quietly, pulling up a seat beside him.
Dean turns to the older man, surprised when he finds a smile on his face. This sparks the little hope in his chest although Dean knows the guy is just trying to be nice, maybe for once he can get just a little good news.
Swallowing the lump in his throat Dean nods thoughtfully, "Okay, how is she? Is she gonna wake up soon?" the older Winchester questions, just as his brother returns. Sam turns to leave but Dean ushers him over, "S'Okay Sammy, stay" Dean urges before turning back to the doctor beside him.
"Right so, the surgery went incredibly well. Although, had the four of you not managed to get the bleeding under control, well lets just say we'd be having a very different conversation" As the doc continued to explain, Sam edged closer to his brother, just in case he needed him. The doc shifted in his seat slightly, glancing between Dean and Y/n, "The even better news is that we expect her to make a full recovery" Dean looked back at his brother with a smile and then at you laying there on the bed.
"R-Really?! She's gonna be okay?" Dean asked through a choked sob, as the relief washed over him.
"More than okay, she should wake up soon. But there's actually something else Mr Winchester" the doctor said smiling further as he stood from his chair, Dean joined him. Levelling the man with a confused look.
"I - uh, yeah. Is it to do with medication or something because I can-" Dean started but the doctor chuckled lightly, resting a hand on Dean's shoulder.
"Calm down" he chuckled, "Her mother has been briefed on her medication, but I thought this might be news you would want to know before anyone else," the doctor explained elusively.
"I'm sorry doc, you've lost me. What news?" he questioned with a slight tilt of his head, his heart hammering in his chest.
"Congratulations, you're about to become a father. I've set up an ultrasound for you, for when your wife is ready. Now if you'll excuse me" the doctor smiled patting Dean on the shoulder before leaving the room, Dean's mouth was still open as the door closed behind him.
Dean gently dropped your hand as he stood from the chair on shaky legs, Sam was in front of him when he wobbled. "Dean, you should sit down" Sam urged gently lowering his big brother back into his chair, taking the seat the doctor had previously been occupying in front of him.
"This, this isn't" Dean muttered distractedly, hands gripping the arms of the chair tightly.
"Dean, you've gotta breathe, just calm down. It's gonna be fine" Sam tried to reassure him, which only earned him a glare from his brother.
"Fine! How in the hell is this gonna be fine Sammy! I can't be a father, not with the shit we go through every day! How the hell is this kid gonna have a life?" Dean hissed getting to his feet again, his jaw set and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.
Dean was so busy with his rant that he hadn't noticed you opening your eyes, "Dean you've gotta calm down, there's plenty of time! Just stop for a minute and think!" Sam reasoned, throwing his arms in the air when Dean pushed past him.
"This is insane! I can't have a baby Sam. Not with her, not now! We've been fucking because some spell wouldn't let us be away from each other, this is just a mistake!" Dean fumed angrily, knowing that he didn't mean a single word of that, as he began pacing the room.
"What's going on? I'm pregnant" you asked sadly, your voice a croak in the room. Two sets of eyes landed on you in seconds, Dean swallowed with wide eyes when they landed on yours you swore your heart stopped in your chest, you watched his mouth open like he was going to say something to you.
"I'm glad you're awake sweetheart, I just- I'm sorry, I can't do this" Dean mumbled more to himself before leaving the room, without a second glance.
Sam called after his brother, but he didn't move to follow him. You watched Dean's back, as he left hurt and confusion washing over you. "Hey Y/N, how're you doing?" Sam questioned, catching your attention.
"I uh, sore. Feel like shit. And I'm guessing pregnant. With a mistake apparently" you asked voice shaking slightly on the last words, feeling the tears that began to brim your eyes as a wave of mixed emotion surrounded you.
"Yeah, you're pregnant. But, i'm so sorry you had to find out like this" Sam sighed sadly, taking a seat beside you and taking your hand in his.
You shrugged wiping the tears from your eyes with your free hand, "I was on the pill how is this even possible?" you asked the large man in front of you, your free hand going to your stomach as you stared down at yourself.
"I'm not sure that matters when you're influenced by a witch honey" Sam reasoned gently, you nodded thoughtfully, pulling your hand from Sam's grasp slowly. You laid down on your back and pulled the covers up over yourself.
"Can I be alone" you whisper sadly, eyes clouded with the tears that were slowly streaming down your cheeks.
"Uh, yeah sure. If you need me I'll come back soon, check in on you" Sam smiled pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
You nodded distractedly, turning to him before he left. "Hey Sam, could you just tell Dean I'm sorry" you mutter quietly, Sam sighs as he gently closes the door behind him.
You lay there in that big hospital bed, your heart broken and tears streaming down your cheeks. You moved carefully, sitting up the best that you could. Looking down at your stomach, your heart sank in your chest. Resting your hands over your stomach you allowed yourself to smile, just for a second, but then everything hit you at once. What the hell were you going to do, Dean was right this was crazy. You certainly couldn't do this by yourself, could you?What the hell were you going to do? This at least explained why you'd been so emotional lately. Then a thought occurred to you, when you thought back you could've sworn the witch had muttered something to your stomach after you'd felt that burn where her hand had been.
You looked down again feeling a similar feeling to the one you'd felt when the witch touched you. You groaned as the pain pushed through you, your eyes screwing shut as you tried to push it back. Your mouth worked before your head, you found yourself screaming out for Dean without even realising it.
Sam came running in seconds later, his brother right behind him. You could briefly make out their outlines, "Shut door, lock it! Something is wrong" you scream into your pillow, hands wrapping around your stomach as the pain increases slightly before stopping completely. You blink your eyes open after panting desperately for air for god knows how long. Sweat was completely covering your body, you meet those perfect green eyes as a large hand rests on your forehead. "Dean?" you question shakily, but he won't meet your eyes now. More tears fall from your eyes as you pull away from him, doing your best to roll away from him as well dragging your useless leg with you, wincing a little as the pain burns in your leg.
"You okay?" Sam asks concerned, resting a careful hand on your shoulder, but you're too annoyed with Dean to think straight.
You shrug him off and pull the covers back, "I'm fine" you spit glaring at Dean, who moves to the other side of the bed. Stopping you from getting out of bed, "Move. I'm leaving" you warn him, as you sit up right your head spins, but you do your best to ignore it grabbing your clothes from the side.
"Sammy, could you give us a sec please?" Dean asks his brother who nods, exciting the room a little awkwardly.
You pull off your gown, not even bothering to look at Dean as you pull on your bra. "Why? You wanna talk now all of a sudden?" you scoff pushing him away when he tries to stop you pulling on your shirt.
"Well I think we should. I'm really glad you're awake, it's nice to talk to you and finally hear your voice" Dean sighs taking a seat beside you.
You laugh humorlessly, "Don't bother. I heard everything you had to say, I'm just a fuck right? Can't be having a baby with me? I was a mistake too right!? Like you care that I'm awake" the words hurt even more when you repeat them, Dean got onto the floor between your legs so he couldn't attempt to look at you.
"I haven't left your side since you were admitted! I didn't want to. Of course I care" Dean replies, you just roll your eyes at him and continue with your task.
"Well I'm glad that your obligation has been filled. You can stop feeling guilty Dean. I'm alive, now you can just fuck off. We all know you want to, not like you stayed for any other reason is there!" You replied in a harsher tone than you would of liked to use, at least before hearing what he'd said.
You flinched when Dean's hand rested on your stomach, then the other hand joined it. "Is it just me or are you showing?" Dean asked nervously, his voice shaking almost as much as his hands.
You rolled your eyes at his comment, "That's not po-" you started to argue with him, but you realised he was right when you finally looked down at where his hands were resting. You swallowed nervously, "But how?" you asked distractedly, looking at the considerable lump under your baggy t-shirt. Your hands moved to rest over Dean's, you pulled them back almost immediately feeling your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. "You should go" you tell him gently moving his hands, so that you can pull on your trousers.
Before you can even reach down and attempt it, Dean takes your jeans from your hands and tosses them across the room. "I get it okay, I'm sorry. I'm a dick! I freaked out sweetheart, you didn't deserve that" he sighed trying to take your hand but you pulled away and you shake your head at him.
"You're joking right! You. You freaked out! How the fuck did you think I felt. I woke up from an operation, to hear you and your brother talking about me! About this baby, a baby I didn't know about. But I'm just a fuck right Dean! Something you couldn't help doing, someone who helped you make this mistake. You're damn right I didn't deserve that! I guess you forgot about last night, maybe you should've shot me yourself! Done the job right then none of this would be your fucking problem!" you exclaimed the last statement came out as more of a sob.
"No! I don't think any of that. I was a fucking idiot! You deserve better than me, than this life. I didn't want you to get hurt, I was trying to keep you safe!" Dean explains sadly, gripping your shoulders tightly you look up at him and shake your head.
"I swear to god! You're the biggest fucking idiot I've ever met sometimes Dean Winchester!" you exclaim pushing yourself up, Dean's in front of you before your feet touch the floor. You use his shirt and body to keep you up right, under the pain shooting through your thigh as he hooks his arms under your elbows. "I already told you that I'm in love with you! That you're more than enough for me, I was in this life before you! So stop trying to use that as an excuse! I don't want better, I don't want different! They wouldn't be you and that is all I want you beautiful fucking idiot!" you rant at him eyes locked on his with every word that leaves your mouth, you see Dean's cheeks redden, and a tear escapes his eyes.
You pull him down to press your lips against his, Dean stumbles a bit with enough force that you're forced back onto the bed, Dean between your legs as he cups your cheeks and he begins to respond to the kiss. Dean pulls back carefully, tucking your hair behind your ears as his forehead rests against yours, "I thought I'd lost you back at that damn place, you were bleeding out in my arms. Telling me how tired you were" Dean recalls, lips brushing against yours gently as he pulls back.
"I'm okay now, you saved me. Again. Now will you please stop blaming yourself" you reply voice a little rough from the previous shouting, you smiled sleepily, your thumb brushing over the stubble covering his cheeks, slowly moving to brush his bottom lip.
"I'll try okay" he assures you, kissing your thumb. His eyes roam you face and he sighed gently, "You really should get some rest, lay down sweetheart" Dean shushes you helping you onto your back and pulling the covers back up.
"Don't go, please" you rush out, grabbing hold of him when he moves back a little.
You reach out and catch hold of his hand before he can leave, "I'm not going anywhere princess, I'm right here" Dean assures you, pressing his lips to yours again.
"Will you lay with me, just for a bit?" you ask gently pulling back to meet those gorgeous green eyes you loved. "You don't have to" you rush out, smiling a small smile as you pull the covers back over yourself. Dean rolls his eyes at you playfully and slips in beside you, pulling you against him careful not to move you to fast.
"Sleep sweetheart, we can talk when you wake up" Dean tells you quietly, you nod letting your eyes slip closed, if you were honest you were still exhausted after everything.
Half an hour Dean's been watching you sleep, half an hour wondering why he had to freak out in front of you. He never wanted to hurt you, not like that, not ever. That was the last thing he wanted to do, he panicked and made an ass of himself. Not to say that he's not still shit scared and completely clueless, but he can't bring himself to think about it every time you snuggle closer to him. Every comfortable sigh of his name that leaves your lips makes his heart swell. The door opens and immediately he's on high alert, almost crushing you against his chest, in an effort to protect you, but you don't even make a squeak of discomfort, you simply snuggle into him closer.
"Just us pappa bear, calm down" Sam chuckles fondly, seeing the two of you cuddled up in the bed closely, bringing in Bobby and Jody with him.
"You told them!" Dean hissed quietly, in an effort not to wake you. Your palm presses flat against his chest above his heart, like even in your sleep you know what he needs. Dean calms a little running his fingers through your hair, until you sigh happily against him.
"I just thought it might be best, you in case they had a similar reaction to you" Sam reasoned and Dean sighed with a slightly stiff nod. "I kinda made the right decision" Sam reveals glancing between the two people behind him.
"We'll talk about that later, but we've got a problem. I need you to call Rowena" Dean whispers, making sure to only look at his brother.
"What is it? Is she okay?" Jody asks immediately, stepping closer and is quickly followed by Bobby.
"Yeah she's okay. At least she is right now, but it's the witch. We think she's done something to the baby" Dean answers not missing the worry that crosses everyone's face, Dean gently pulls the covers back and you shiver slightly, curling your body tighter against him. But your stomach is still very visible, pressed safely between you and Dean.
He turns directly to his brother, worry covering his beautiful face, running his hands over his face before speaking. "Her stomach grew in front of my eyes Sammy, she's so fucking scared even if she hasn't said much about it. We need to do something, I'm just- Fuck I don't know what to do" Dean sighs sadly turning away from everyone to look down at you. His thumb grazes gently over the soft skin of your cheek causing you to sigh contentedly when he presses a soft kiss to your knuckles, a small smile dares cross his lips when you snuggle closer to him.
As he's tucking your hair behind your ear his smile turns sad, because when he feels you shift it's like he almost knows what's coming. So when you let out a pained whimper and try and pull him closer and fingers tighten in his shirt he isn't surprised, just knows that he needs to act fast.
When he looks up he notices Sam has already left the room, he forgets about the other two in an instant and his eyes move back to you, lying helplessly on the bed in front of him. All he wants to do is pull you into his arms and never let you go, keep you properly safe this time. There's a voice in his head that's screaming at him, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. Every single part of him knows that the voice is right, but he can't leave you, maybe he's being selfish but right now he needs to see you breathing, watch your chest rise and fall. Feel your steady heartbeat under his hand, feel your small warm hand wrapped in his.
The other two remain silent in the room, simply watching Dean as he lays their tightly pressed against you. Bobby pulls Jody close when she starts to cry, gently takes her down the hall for a coffee, he tells Dean that they'll be back in a few minutes but Dean's not really listening, too focused on watching you. That's why when his brother enters less than a minute later, it doesn't register, not until the younger man steps right beside him, "Dean" Sam says softly, resting a careful hand on his brothers shoulder.
Sam's completely aware he hasn't ever seen his brother so helpless and broken about a woman who wasn't their mother, even then Dean had been careful that he didn't see too much.
Dean turns to him then quicker than he would've expected, "Sammy, is she coming?" Dean asks his voice cracking a little, though he tries to hide it when he clears his throat they both know Sam heard.
"Yeah Dean, she's gonna get here as quickly as she can. It's gonna be okay, Y/N is gonna be okay" Sam assures him, because he knows if anyone can help the young woman before them it's Rowena.