-Sorry this is late got the flue. Beware this is like super depressing and may trigger you. Sexual harassment and panic attack

Canada knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into his room to see France and England sitting in chairs next to Alfred's bed

He saw faded tear tracks on both their faces.

"What happened? Is Al okay?" He was worried.

"Alfred is fine." England met his eyes, "but we need to talk." The Brit reached out and instinctively grabbed France's hand. France knew that meant that Author wanted him to take over the talking.

Matthew's expression looked so tired. France shivered.

This was going to be so hard.

"Matthieu...It's you we need to talk about. You see..." France watched as Matthew slowly walked to sit down next to Alfred on the bed.

"Italy told us about something that happened." France saw Matthew's eye widen in realization. "To you. At that mafia man's home." He finished forcing tears not to fall.

England squeezed France's hand harder. "Matthew do you understand what we are talking about?"

Matthew had just been sitting in front of him curled up against the headboard with his hand on Alfred's shoulder. He was barely looking at them. He nodded slightly at Englands question.

The shadows from the oil lamp shone on England's face making him look old. "Matthew lad do you?...do you want to talk about it?" England asked hoping he didn't sound to pleading but Matthew's reaction was scarring him. He had expected tears and shaking but Matthew was just sitting there quietly not saying a word.

"Matthieu.???" France tried to say, but Matthew didn't even look at them. England glanced at Francis having a silent argument about what to say next.

"We can't." Matthew whispered.

The two nation immediately focused their attention to their sweet boy.

"What is it?" England asked as France nodded.

"We can't."

"Can't what?" France asked gently.

"We can't do this in front of Alfred. What if...I cannot talk about this in front of him and I am not leaving him. So...no we can't talk about it." Matthew whispered as England looked closer he saw it. Tears so quietly running down Matthew's face.

"Matthieu please...we need to know what happened..your brother can't even hear us right now." France sounded desperate. He tried to wrap Matthew in a hug but the nation flinched away.

"You already know what happened." Matthew shot back gripping Alfred's shoulder tighter.

"Matthew we have an idea but we need to know from you?" England tried to say.

Matthew froze. "You want to know.." he whispered his voice was strangely floaty. France barely caught him as Matthew's eyes rolled back and he went limp.

And France cried.

——————-

The room was still white. It was so white. Why?

Alfred didn't know he felt small in such a place but he knew the white. Calm and always the same. He didn't like the man. The man was far away but getting closer. The man had red stubbly beard and wore old clothes. Alfred knew the man was a powerful man. Alfred was upset he wanted to go back to the calm white but something was pushing him closer to the powerful man. There was someone in trouble but Alfred didn't know who just that they were.

"Ah you finally are here." The man was standing so close. "Do you know who you are?"

"Alfred." Alfred said. He knew his name somehow he also knew that wasn't the answer the man was looking for. "Who are you?"

"Ah they called me many things but you may call me Rome." Rome answered.

Rome? Alfred didn't know why but the name sounded familiar and brought up memories of an angry tomato faced man. Alfred wondered who he was.

"So Alfred do you wish to speak with me?" Rome asked.

"No." Alfred said. "I want the white."

"Ahh yes it is calming, but are you not lonely." Rome said.

"Why are you here?" Alfred asked wanting the man to let him be peaceful.

"I am waiting for my grandson. But you. You cannot go back to the calm.." Rome said.

Alfred startled at that. "Why?" He wanted to.

"Because soon you have to choose."

"Choose What?"

"To move on or to go back to your family. You are lucky you get to choose. My Grandson doesn't have that choice." Rome answered.

"Family?" Alfred couldn't remember if he had one but he did feel warm when Rome has said it.

"Yes Family you don't remember but you will. Rest your mind. It takes much for us to talk." Rome answered.

Alfred nodded and laid down next to Rome hoping he could be in the white again.

———-

It took Matthew 20 minutes to wake up. When he did he wished he hadn't because there was his worried family. England and France were peering over him with tears stuck in their eyes. He wanted to cry and hug them but fear kept him from doing so. If he told them everything, what if they...what if they...he didn't even know what he supposed to be fearing he just knew he was scared.

What if they thought he was gross or what if they got angry or...

"Matthew look at me." England's voice commanded attention. "You hyperventilating. You need to breathe."

Matthew didn't know what to do as he tried to breathe slower. He knew they wanted him to talk about it. about her. He couldn't. "No no no no no monnononono" he didn't realize he was whispering that as fast possible.

"Matthieu shhh. It is okay it's okay." France soothed and he felt England's strong hands wrap him in a hug. He forced himself to relax before he flinched he didn't want England to think he didn't want the hug. Because he did he really really did but also couldn't stop flinching every time someone besides Alfred was close to him. He started crying louder and tears kept coming. "I can't tell you I can't tell you. I am sorry. So sosorry I am sorry." He couldn't stop rambling.

"Matthew it is okay you don't have to tell me. It is okay. You didn't do anything wrong." England whispered letting France join the hug.

"I...I...sorry." Matthew felt so tired so scared.

"It is alright. You did nothing wrong. You don't have to talk to us if you want to." France reassured.

"I...she wouldn't stop. And and... She threatened Alfred...and she she she." Matthew couldn't stop he couldn't hold it in. "Papa? Papa help...can't stop...she hurt me so bad." He could feel it starting; a flashback.

France felt Matthew go limp again.

"Did He?" England asked

"No he still Conscience but...Author he is having a flashback. Matthieu wake up Matthieu please..." France begged England joined him as they tried to bring Matthew out of his mind.

He was in Carrie's bedroom again. Cold and alone. He was handcuffed to the bed as he heard Carrie showering in the bathroom. He closed his eyes trying not to cry. She hadn't given him back his clothes and the cold air was hurting him. He swallowed knowing what was about to happen. She was in the room again giggling with that fake innocent laugh.

"Hi Matthew." She whispered into his ear. He couldn't see she had blindfolded him. "So you want to play a game?"

He flinched he knew the game.

"I am gonna touch you and you tell me where I am sounds fun huh remember don't peak." Matthew nodded as the game began.

And oh how he hated it how she would make him say exactly where her evil hands were . How she would do this for hours until he broke down in tears and then and then she would say she would make him feel better. How she would kiss away his tears making Him cry even more. How she would she would use him to get her fix of sex. how he could never make her stop.

He couldn't breathe he couldn't see someone was shaking him. He heard someone screaming was that him?

"Matthew please.." England begged.

"Papa...? Dad.??" Matthew was coming out of it. France could see.

"It me Matthieu it's your Papa its okay. You are at Italy's house remember.?

Matthew blinked a few time and nodded. "How long?"

"30 minutes you were in shock for thirty minutes."

Matthew starled by the district Italian voice that had sprung up from the other side of the bed.

"Romano?"

"Yep."

"How did you?"

"When you stopped responding. France ran to get me." Romano said. "You were in emotional shock."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So here the deal. I know you need to sleep. Do you want France and England to stay with you or me." Romano stated. "You can't be alone in case you go into shock again. I can also get Feliciano but he is napping so I wouldn't advise it." Romano crossed his arms, "So what do you want?"

Matthew looked from France and England to Romano. He knew if France and England stayed they might pepper him with questions he didn't want to answer.

"You." He pointed to Romano. The Italian nodded and stood to usher the two other nations out.

Matthew cringed France looked hurt.

After they left Romano sat down in one of the fluffy chairs.

"I hurt their feelings didn't I?" Matthew said.

"No. You didn't. I already knew you chose me. I told them that." Romano explained.

"How did you know?"

"I don't ask scary questions." Romano responded. "Now go to sleep."

Matthew nodded tiredly.

Romano watched as the young nation slept. The night felt darker then ever. There where so many broken nations in this home. He thought about his brother who was slowly drowning, about Matthew's last soul, about how Denmark was still having panic attacks, how sometimes he would find Switzerland staring into an empty hallway crying, How Poland would turn to a friend that wasn't there or how Gilbert kept leaving desperately searching for any survivors. Romano sighed there was some many people that needed help he didn't even was to think about how his mental state was.

Rather than dwelling on the depression that was trying to ingulf him Romano just straightened Matthew and Alfred's sheets.