Hey, pretties. I just feel the need to just give a trigger warning for discussions of depression in this one.

M : Make You Feel My Love - Adele
Requested by Juls2820

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of this Earth for you
To make you feel my love, oh yes
To make you feel my love

Jace Herondale took in a deep breath as he walked to the door of the conservatory that had been converted into his wife's studio a year ago. He could feel the heat from the room even before he pushed the door the whole way open, the multiple windows in the room catching the afternoon sun. Jace blinked as he looked around, jiggling his eighteen month old daughter in his arm as he took in the studio.

There were a couple of half finished canvases, paintings that hadn't been touched in months, and there were rows of paints and supplies that were organized almost perfectly in the shelves against the room.

Jace usually loved it when things were in their proper places.

But it just went to show how long Clary hadn't been in this room.

He remembered coming in here and cleaning up one night when Embry Herondale had been determined not to go to sleep and he was looking for something to distract himself with.

That was nearly four months ago.

He wished he had never come in here and tidied up, because it had never looked this tidy before.

It just didn't feel right.

There was a coo from Embry and she tightened her little fist in it's grip of her shirt and Jace shifted his attention down to his daughter. She blinked up at him with wide green eyes that looked so much like her mothers it made his heart hurt a little. She was too young to understand what was going on, but she knew that something was wrong.

She buried her head in his chest and Jace rubbed his hand up and down her back softly before backing out of the room.

It was later that evening that Jace approached Clary. She had gotten out of bed at around one that afternoon, which Jace viewed as an improvement because a few weeks ago, she wasn't getting out of bed at all, except to go to the bathroom. She showered, although her hair was still dry when she came downstairs to look in the cupboard. Jace offered to make her something; he began listing things almost desperately, ranging from eggs to mashed potato and sausages, but Clary just shook her head listlessly and picked up an apple and wandered back upstairs.

When Jace sat down on the side of the bed at six o'clock that evening, the apple had a few small bites missing but was otherwise still whole on the bedside table beside Clary. She had the duvet pulled all the way up to her chin and her head buried into the pillow, but her eyes were still half open.

"Baby?" Jace's voice was quiet, soft, not wanting her to be put on his edge. She didn't acknowledge him, but Jace knew she was listening. "Clary..." his voice caught in his throat, and he watched as she slowly blinked, her eyes still looking toward the window across the room. Even though it was getting dark outside and it was spitting, with rain splatters hitting the window, Clary hadn't pulled the curtains. "Clary, you need to see someone." He waited to see if she would react, but she just kept staring ahead. Jace took in a deep breath through his nose and shifted a little closer, reaching out and resting his hand on her shoulder, through the thick duvet. "Baby, I need you to see someone. Embry needs you to see someone." Clary didn't say anything for a long time, but Jace just waited, knowing that he needed to give her time.

She didn't verbally reply, but after a few more minutes passed, he saw a tear slide down her cheek. She didn't move to brush it away, so Jace moved his own hand, from her shoulder and down to her face, his thumb gently swiping the tear away.

Then another slid down her cheek, until they wouldn't stop falling, and Jace lifted up the duvet and climbed in next to her. Clary didn't roll over to cuddle him like she would have before, but as he wrapped his arms around her, he felt her fingers curl around the arm that he barred over her chest, and her sobs wracked her body.

All Jace could do was hold her.

Jace didn't understand what was happening with Clary.

Well, he understood what it was, he knew that she was suffering from depression, but he knew that there was a lot that he didn't understand. At first, he hadn't even realized that she had slipped from grief into depression until Magnus Bane had gently mentioned something to him.

Something had been off after Embry had been born, and Jace had been to a few of her doctors appointments where the words 'post-natal depression' had been mentioned, but with a lot of help from her mother and her best friends, Isabelle Lightwood and Maia Roberts, and support from her husband, she seemed to even out after a few months.

But then Jocelyn Morgenstern had died in a fatal car crash. Her partner, Luke Garroway, had also been killed. Two people who had raised Clary for as long as she could remember and especially her mother, who she had such a strong relationship with, being torn abruptly away from her had thrown Clary through a loop. She had fallen apart when they got the phone call from the hospital, her screams waking Embry from where she was sleeping in the next room. Jace had been shocked to the core—being raised without a mother, Jocelyn had filled that void—but he had needed to push that to the side to be there for Clary.

That was six months ago.

Clary seemed to be able to hold herself together for the first two months, although she was understandably shaky. But Jace began to notice things, like how he would walk in on Clary just staring out the window, or how she would shower for almost half an hour, or how she wouldn't react to Embry crying, or how she just didn't seem to have the energy to brush her hair.

He was worried, and he didn't know what to do, and so he was talking to his cousin Alexander Lightwood after he had come home from work to Clary sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the switched off TV, while Embry was in her play pen, crying so loudly that Jace had been able to hear from the driveway outside. Magnus had murmured that it sounded like depression, something that he had suffered with a lot as a teenager, when he was struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. He had said that he and Isabelle had been trying to talk to Clary, but it had gotten to the point where she wasn't even replying to their texts or voice messages, and she made excuses when they tried to come over.

Jace didn't know what to do.

He loved her.

Other than Embry, Clary was the most important person in the whole world to him.

She was important, she was brilliant, she was talented, she was gorgeous, and while he knew that she was hurting, Jace also knew that Jocelyn would never wanted Clary to suffer in the way that she was now.

But he didn't know how to snap her out of it.

He didn't know if it was something that she could snap out of.

He talked to Magnus about it, he talked to Clary's grandmother—Charlotte Branwell—about it, he looked up things online, he even went and saw a psychologist.

He wanted to repeat to her over and over again that he needed her, that Embry needed her, that there was no way that the two of them were going to be okay without her, but that just sounded selfish as he repeated it back in his head, and that made him feel horrible. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about himself, he needed to think about Clary and what she needed.

He gave her space, but after speaking with a psychologist for the third time, he knew that she needed to speak to someone who was a lot more experienced in this area than he was.

At first, Jace didn't think it was working.

He drove her to and from the appointments because he didn't trust her driving, given she was still barely eating anything and looked so pale and gaunt that he was worried she was going to pass out if she exerted herself to much. After the first three sessions, nothing was different.

Magnus told him to be patient.

Isabelle told him that they were all in this together, they were all there to support Jace, Clary and Embry as a unit.

After the fifth session and her first group therapy session, Jace started to push her to go outside with Embry. They didn't go into crowded areas, and they were never out for very long, but they went to the park and Embry fed the ducks, and Clary didn't feel quite as distant as she did before. Her hands bumped against her side as they walked, not reaching for his, but there was a small upturn of the corner of her lips when Embry pointed at one of the birds and announced 'fuck!" as she tried to pronounce 'duck'.

Nearly a month later, Isabelle and Maia came over and took Clary out for breakfast. They kept it short, going to a quiet cafe and bringing her home after an hour and a half, but her eyes didn't look as dim as they used to.

Two months later, Jace smelt the sharp scent of paint that he had been missing for the past seven or eight months, and he almost cried. He tried to be as quiet as possible as he approached the end room, and even though the room wasn't the complete chaos that it used to be, there were a few paints scattered around, two paintbrushes laying in the little sink they had put into the corner and a canvas with a few swipes of colours in the corner—it looked as though it was the beginning of a few flowers.

A few weeks after that, Clary was cooking dinner in the kitchen, with Embry resting on her hip. Her hair was in a thick braid, she was wearing a pair of denim cut off shorts that showed off her long legs and a colourful shirt. Embry was giggling and had her fingers twisted in Clary's hair, and there was an upbeat song playing.

Jace came into the kitchen and put his arms around both of his girls. Embry squealed as she spotted her dad and Clary's body relaxed against him, letting him take her weight and finding comfort in the heat of his body.

"I love you," Jace murmured, his chest feeling heavy with emotion as he spoke into Clary's hair. He loved her in every shape or form, no matter what she was going through, and he needed her to know that. "I love you so much," he told her, his voice catching a little. He felt Clary's body shake a little, and he tightened his grip around her. Embry nuzzled into her mothers shoulder, falling quiet, letting the moment circle around them all, safe in Jace's warm embrace.

"I love you too," Clary whispered.

So this was a bit...Harder for me to write. But it was also cathartic, in a way. I hope you guys enjoyed it x