Chapter 10: Battle of the Bloodrush Brethren
"Hey, Kristen, when this was in your church, were all those skulls there?" Fig asked about the doorway beside them. Everything from the arch itself to the wall it was set in was embedded with the skulls of humanoids and monsters. The keystone at the culmination of the arch was in fact an antelope skull. A curved row of human skulls along the slate base formed a portico extending from the arch, the inside of which glowed purple with kinetic magical potential.
"Yeah, did you have all those skulls?" Fabian inquired.
"What's up with these skulls?" Adaine wondered aloud.
"Did that never strike you as unfriendly?" Machaira questioned.
"There were just a few skulls, but they were more like to remember what not to be." Kristen explained calmly.
"Okay, uh-huh," Fabian muttered.
"That's a red flag," Adaine said for the group. Coach Daybreak blew his whistle. The last colors of the setting sun fell over the charging skeletons as twilight faded.
"Hangman, to the Bloodrush field, post haste," Fabian called mildly. "Oh, fantastic… Just make sure on the yellows to, like, push through… fantastic." Okay, so their hell beast was stuck in traffic. Marvelous. Fabian charged diagonally across the field to the far left, just passing the red and white mid-line (Machaira neither knew nor cared what the technical names for bloodrush things were). Coach Daybreak darted out to meet him, mirroring the fighter's movements. When he reached Fabian, the coach surged forward and slashed the half-elf across the chest with his spear, splitting Fabian open from shoulders to ribs.
"Shouldn't have come back to the field, kiddo," Coach Daybreak reprimanded. "You got no heart!"
"Ha, is that the best you've got?" Fabian shot back, blood splattering the flagstones and seeping into the new groove in his sternum.
"Yeah," Fig cheered. Adaine stepped forward from the back of the group and cast Fly on Gorgug before striding out to stand before the oncoming skeletons.
"What are you doing?" Gorgug asked. "What's happening?"
"You can fly now," Adaine told Gorgug.
"What?" The half orc exclaimed.
"Good luck," Adaine called back cheerfully as she took up her position before the portal. The high elf did not seem at all intimidated by the undead jocks running towards her, cleated footfalls clanking in time with the rattle of armor on bone.
"Hoot, growl, hoot, growl, hoot, growl," they droned, bearing down like a tidal wave. A lone skeleton stood in the back, holding a smoking purple orb in hand, arm cocked back to throw it. Riz's head flitted between the quarterback and a skeletal warrior on the far end of the field just passing Fabian. The goblin ran in front of the portal and drew his arquebus, bouncing on his toes and reading himself to play goalie.
"They're gonna throw the ball to him," Riz yelled in elvish, pointing to the skeleton on the far left.
"What happened?" Gorgug asked. Riz whispered the message to their barbarian. Fig ran over to Daybreak, still disguised as a Harvestman.
"Hey, I'm here to help you clean up this mess," The tiefling told him in a low, grunting parody of how an adult man sounded. Kristen giggled.
"Hell yeah, brother. Get in here, help out." Daybreak called over, treating Fig to a friendly smile. He was completely unconcerned about this unknown Harvestman randomly showing up to an event he probably wasn't expected to be at. Fig gave him a thumbs up and turned to the skeletal receiver.
"Hey, give me the ball. Pass me the ball." She urged, holding out her arms like she was going to catch a beach ball.
"Rraaahhhhh," the skeleton changed course to run right at Fig.
"Huh," Fig commented, hands still held out toward the charging undead. She turned to wink at Riz. Unlike the others, Riz did not seem flustered by Fig's bardic inspiration and gave the bard a thumbs up as the golden glow settled around him. Kristen raised her staff and blessed Adaine, Gorgug, and Fig before running out to stand ten feet in front of Riz, staff held like a bat towards the undead. Gorgug stared about the chaos and went into a rage.
"Yaaaaahhhhhhhh," he yelled, flying only about three feet above the ground, head pointed forward, arms pointed behind him. He cocked back his great ax and swung, breaking the receiving skeleton into bones and dust. Machaira noticed the quarterback eying a different skeleton on the opposite side of the field and moved up to stand in front and to the right of Adaine and Kristen. Bill Seacaster had made a good point when he said that they left they're spell casters unprotected. She crouched and readied herself to cut down an attacking skeleton. The quarterback threw the orb, and the new receiver caught it easily.
"Good pass, good hustle on the field," Daybreak called gruffly.
"Yeah, we're winning, right, Daybreak," Fig addressed the coach in her terrible adult voice. Fabian lashed out, rapier slicing through coach's sweatshirt. Daybreak leaned aside mid strike, and Fabian's rapier left only a small cut on his arm.
"Yeah, don't see the moves from tryouts today!" Coach taunted, slashing Fabian across the chest a second time. Adaine cast Web on the four skeletons furthest to the right, encasing a twenty foot cube of space in magical bindings. Three smaller skeletons, including the one with the orb, managed to leap and doge around the obstacle, but the hulking skeleton of an orcish bruiser was ensnared, rasping a complaint. Two skeletons ran for Gorgug while another went after Kristen. The skeleton with the orb sprinted for the doorway while the remaining two charged Adaine. But the rogues were waiting for them.
Machaira, attack readied, moved to meet the skeletons running for Adaine, cutting the first one in half with her saber. Riz took aim at the skeleton with the orb. Adaine used the breathing room Machaira provided to turn toward Riz and hold out her hand. Her eyes glowed blue as the diviner once more bent reality to her will. The chains of fate materialized around the goblin, who glowed with Adaine's power and turned his arquebus at the last moment to perfectly shoot the orb out of the skeleton's hands. The doorway started to glow a sickly shade of dark red as the skeleton dove for the door. Riz's bullet shot the orb straight up. The inquisitive goblin caught the orb as the skeleton crashed headlong into the door.
"The Ball has the ball," Riz shouted.
"THE BALL HAS THE BALL!" The whole party echoed, cheering for their detective.
"The ball has to go back in the chest, people," Fig called in elvish. "That's what has to happen." One of the skeletons made it past Machaira and tackled Adaine, pinning her to the ground. Another jumped for Kristen, but the cleric bopped it on the head with her staff, knocking it prone. The two by Gorgug tried to tackle him and immediately ended up flat on the deck.
"HA!" Gorgug cheered as he tossed them aside. Riz dashed fully across the field to Gorgug and hopped on his back.
"Get us to the goal, baby!" Riz shouted. "I know how… this game works." He smiled confidently, fooling nobody. Everyone giggled. Fig ran back at the skeletons and cast a Cone of Fear, striking a power chord and emitting waves of pure rock over the skeletons that had attacked Adaine and Kristen. The sonic vibrations condensed into the image of a giant bulldog gnawing furiously on a bone. The four skeletons, including the one on top of Adaine, gasped, knees clattering together, and clanked away with their arms in the air. Machaira had been under the impression that undead were immune to fear spells, but apparently Daybreak had some second rate undead on his hands.
"We're on the same team, guy," Fig called out to Daybreak, her fake adult voice cracking from giggles. Kristen ran over to Gorgug and held aloft On the Subject of World Religions.
"Sometimes it's sad to have more questions than answers, but, uh… Living La Vida Loca!" The cleric's spell made no sense to Machaira, but some divine power must have been channeled because the two skeletons attacking Gorgug exploded into dust. With Riz on his back, the barbarian rose into the air and flew for the chest. For a second, Machaira thought the fight was over.
"Fucking loser!" About three quarters of the way across, Ragh Barkrock appeared, charging across the roof of the viewing stands and tackling Gorgug out of the air. Both berserkers crashed to the ground, Ragh pinning Gorgug beneath him.
"I need to be good at sports right now," Riz lamented as he fell, tucking into a roll as any good Ball would and springing to his feet with the orb in hand. Fig grinned as the glow of bardic inspiration faded around the goblin. Ragh drew a sword from his back and slashed Gorgug across the face.
"You fucking loser," Ragh yelled. "You fucking go after Coach, dude, I'll fucking kill you!" Gorgug bashed Ragh with his ax blade twice, splattering both barbarians with blood. The two grunted, shouted, and pummeled each other with their weapon handles. The half-orcs rolled about on the field, the force of their punches resonating through their opponents to crack the stones beneath them.
"My god, I wanna go after Coach now," Fig muttered.
"This is hot," Kristen declared, watching the two boys grapple and bloody each other. Machaira, sensing that Adaine would be safe for the moment, dashed behind Coach Daybreak and swiped at him. Where other rogues depended on insight or stealth to land the perfect blow, the power of the scout lay in high precision at high speed. Her saber tore through the Coach's side, splattering blood across the flagstones.
"How does it feel to be the only faculty member who's completely expendable?" Machaira asked, voice dripping with ridicule as she sandwiched the coach between her and Fabian.
"Ha," the fighter laughed, stabbing Daybreak through the arm with his rapier. Fabian breathed deeply, elven magic swirling around him, bringing with it the clean, fresh salt of sea air. His eyes gleamed brighter as his gashes partially closed, blood flow slowing to a crawl. Daybreak wasted no time in slashing Fabian again, tearing a horizontal gash through the half-elf's pectorals. Fabian staggered, and the human swept out with the shaft of his spear, knocking Fabian flat on his back.
"Hey, better luck next time," the Coach told him before turning for Riz. As the coach moved to run away, Machaira was presented with an opportunity. She snuck her saber into his back, and Daybreak grunted as he jogged away, blood spreading from a new puncture in his sweatshirt.
As Machaira turned to follow, she saw Adaine cast Witch Bolt on the skeleton in the archway. Lighting arced from her fingertips, frying the skeleton into a pile of charred bones. Machaira whooped. She loved to watch the diviner kick ass. Adaine turned to her, grinning, before realizing that her Web spell had ended and the skeletal bruiser was free. She quickly ducked around the side of the arch to avoid standing directly in the way of the portal.
"Bye bye," Adaine called cheekily after the four skeletons still feared as they rushed off the field, bones chattering in their panicked retreat from Fig's sonic bulldog. The bruiser ran at Fig, cleats sparking against the fieldstones.
"But I'm a, but I'm a, but I'm a Harvestman," Fig tried, forgetting to use her terrible adult voice as she offered her attacker a weak smile. In the end her disguise didn't need to work because when the skeleton tried to tackle her, Fig flinched and it crashed to the ground with a clatter. Machaira's attention snapped to Riz as the orb in his hands crackled with purple magical energy. The field cracked and yielded forth skeletal arms, three new bloodrush players crawling from the earth around Riz. Three swords slashed at the goblin, who managed to fully dodge one and avoid the worst of a second blow but took the third full to the shoulder. The skeletal quarterback readied himself by the chest, preparing to defend his goal or whatever it was people did in this game.
Riz made a nimble escape from the three skeletons and ran center field past the wrestling barbarians. Realizing that he was between Coach Daybreak and a well prepared undead quarterback, Riz glanced over to Kristen and tucked the orb back, ready to throw it to the cleric if anyone came for him. Fig turned on the Coach and struck a low, thrumming chord. Waves of Dissonant Whispers rolled out over Daybreak, but the human turned around and grinned at her, blood splattered across the side of his face.
"You can't get in here," he told her lowly, eyes lit with manic energy. "God made it rock solid." He waved a hand from the top to the bottom of his face, and bright light surrounded his head.
"Oh yeah, well I'm still doing damage, fucker," Fig blustered. "Also, you thought I was a Harvestman, you fool." With that, her disguise fully faded. Fig winked at Riz again, and a golden haze settled over the goblin once more.
"Wow, alright," the goblin accepted happily. It seemed The Ball's resistance to Fig's charm was limited.
"Don't get any ideas because I got a little someone named Dr. Asha," Fig warned with a grin. Kristen ran over to Fabian and touched his shoulder, casting Cure Wounds. Fabian's wounds shrank from life-threatening to inconvenient as whatever divinity Kristen was channeling filled the fighter.
BAM! Gorgug kicked Ragh in the sternum and flung him off. The bully crashed to the ground next to Riz, and Gorgug scrambled to his feet. The barbarian flew to stand between Riz and Daybreak, great ax leveled across his chest. Unfortunately, Ragh wasn't out of the fight. The bloodrush player pushed himself up and whirled on Riz, hacking at him with his sword. Riz tried to hop aside, and a swing that should have taken off his head only cracked his femur. But the goblin was wounded and too slow to evade a second blow that sliced into his back.
Daybreak's encouragement was cut off with a strangled shout as Machaira pursued the Coach, driving her saber into his back with a furious snarl. The human glared at her, and Machaira spat in his face, eyes blazing as she moved to stand between him and the boys, tail snapping from side to side. Daybreak could not advance without leaving himself open to another attack, not unless he wanted to waste time fending her off. Machaira was determined to run this man down like a dog.
"You can't stop god's plan," Daybreak told her.
"No, but I can totally stop yours," she growled, mane fluffed to its full extent. Her eyes glowed in the evening shadows, reflecting bright yellow light over the coach's scowl. Daybreak and Machaira leveled their blades, muscles tensing as they prepared to reengage. But the Coach had forgotten about Fabian. The fighter scrambled to his feet and ran past the melee to grab Riz, scooping him up without breaking stride.
"I mean, I should be on the bloodrush team," the half-elf yelled, making direct eye-contact with Daybreak as he passed. "I belong on this team!"
"What the heeelll?" Daybreak yelled as Fabian sprinted like a deer toward the chest, carrying the ball and The Ball. The skeletal quarterback surged forward to meet them as the boys approached. Fabian Heisman-pushed the skeleton aside, both stumbling sloppily as the fighter bulled past. Fabian cheered and he dunked both balls into the chest. The half-elf immediately whirled on Daybreak and gave him the middle finger.
"What's good?" Fabian shouted at the Coach, briefly losing all of the air that he normally put on. "Fuck you, dog! Wooooooo! WOOOOOOOOO!" Unfortunately, he had completely forgot about Riz, who had been happily riding along up until the point he'd been chucked into the chest of hell like dirty laundry.
"We are not dunking The Ball," Adaine declared emphatically, eyes glowing blue from the other side of the field. As the goblin desperately struggled to grab the edge of the chest, she held out her hand and revealed the links of destiny around the rogue once more. The mystic chains snapped, history rewriting itself in accordance with Adaine's will. Her magic took effect just as the chest began to shut, and Riz barely escaped, movements almost supernaturally fast as time sped up around him.
"Pow," Fabian taunted Daybreak, punching the air for emphasis. "Pow, pow, pow." Riz and Fabian tried to butt bump awkwardly as the skeletons vaporized. Daybreak barreled past Machaira and Gorgug toward Fabian, Riz, and the chest. Machaira struck the second his back was turned, scoring the coach a shallow wound across the back of the leg. Gorgug and Daybreak swung at each other as the coach passed him, spear and axe clanking harmlessly off each other. The fanatic stopped about ten feet away from the goblin and the half-elf.
"Nice play, kid," Daybreak ground out, eyes wide, blood bubbling from his throat. "But we're going into overtime." The patter of dress shoes on stone announced Adaine's run up the field toward Daybreak. She pointed at the human and cast Ray of Sickness. A green stream of liquid sailed hundred twenty feet, originating from a tiny point on her fingertip to fly between Ragh and Gorgug and hit Daybreak right in the kidneys. What happened next would stay with them forever.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh," Coach screamed as he shit his pants with a sound like the world's biggest, wettest lawnmower starting up. His sweatpants and boxers dropped a full foot from the force of his bowels instantly evacuating their full contents, giving them a very much unwanted view of his hairy ass and small dick. The spell hit him so hard the human bled from his eyes, snot streaming down his face. Adaine whined, shivering with disgust at her own handiwork. The smell rolled over Machaira, and she gagged, tongue lolling from her mouth at the revolting attack on her senses. During this Riz grabbed the chest and dragged it off the right side of the field behind the scoreboard. The goblin leaned over the chest from his hiding spot, arquebus at the ready in case anyone tried to follow.
"Oh god, oh god, time to pull out the big guns," Daybreak groaned, drawing a palimpsest from his pocket. "Hoot, growl, hoot, growl, hoot, growl." He smashed the crystal on the ground, and an owlbear appeared on the field.
"Hhrrrrrrrrr – hoo hoo," the owlbear cried, shaking itself off.
"That's incredible," Fabian said lowly, squinting at the owlbear with more interest than fear.
"Whoo whoo whoo," the owlbear called as it ran down the field for Adaine, predatory senses locking onto the slightest and most fearful of the group. Machaira loosed a rough cough as it passed and slashed, cutting it across the leg, but the owlbear did not lose interest. The owlbear loomed above Adaine, massive paws raised to attack. Fig ran away from the wizard toward the others.
'Where are you going?" Adaine shrieked.
"You got it, girl," Fig called back distantly, like she was only half listening to the terrified mage. The tiefling was much more focused on Daybreak. "Oh, I can't get in your head?" She played another song of Dissonant Whispers. Coach cowered, yelling as the music rolled over him. "Yeah, I'm in your head." Fig turned and winked at Adaine.
"That's so confusing right now," Adaine complained as the pretty golden light surrounded her in the shadow of the monstrosity about to kill her.
"That's 'cause I believe in you," Fig called from her safe position away from the owlbear.
"You're a weirdly sexual fifteen-year-old," Adaine responded. Machaira winced even as she ran to her friend's defense.
"What should I do?" Kristen yelled in elvish.
"WWRMD," Fig replied. "What would Ricky Martin do?" Who? Machaira was very confused, but this seemed to make sense to Kristen. The cleric ran horizontally across the field and cast hold person on Ragh.
"What are you – " Ragh choked as the redhead held her hand aloft and froze him in place.
"Freeze," Kristen commanded. "I want to talk to you."
"Stop picking on me," Gorgug demanded of the defenseless senior, wailing on him with his great ax. One, two, three strikes and Ragh dropped, blooding spreading across the field from his wounds. Gorgug was showered in bone shards and viscera. "See ya." With that parting comment, Gorgug flew towards Adaine; but Machaira was already there. The tabaxi yowled and pounced at the owlbear, leaping onto its back and stabbing her saber straight down into the muscle of its neck. The creature spasmed beneath her, staggering drunkenly from the force and violence of her attack.
"Don't you DARE!" She bellowed, consumed with protective fury. "That one is not prey."
"Ggrrrrrrr – hoo hoo," the owlbear shrieked, bucking and twisting as it tried to reach her with its claws and beak.
"Aaauuurrrgghhhhh," Machaira roared in response, ears back and teeth bared, holding on by her sword hilt and claws. "AAAAAUUUUUUURRRRR–RRGHHHHH!" The scout heaved back, using her imbedded blade as a cruel form of rein to try and direct the owlbear away from Adaine. While Machaira rode the owlbear, an engine revved. Hellfire illuminated the night as the Hangman zoomed to Fabian's side.
"Let's play!" Fabian yelled, mounting the Hangman and driving at Daybreak. Fabian ran the coach over with his hell beast, stabbing him in the exposed dick as he did so.
"Oooohh, GOD!" The coach screamed. "It didn't go right!" Daybreak hauled himself up and waddled after Fabian, sweatpants dropping feces as he ran. The fanatic slashed the half-elf twice, splattering blood across both fighters. "Ugh, uhh, bluhhg, you ain't got no heart, kid. You'll never be an owlbear." The human sputtered, vomiting on himself. "You know, hoot growl, hoot growl." Fabian stared him down and revved his motorcycle.
"Get down," Adaine ordered Machaira, stepping to the owlbear's left and channeling a burning hands spell. The rogue twisted to the owlbear's right flank as a cone of fire enveloped the creature.
"Hooooooooo – oooooo, rrrrrrrr," the owlbear screeched, flames licking at its feathers.
"Wooo, burn bastard," Machaira howled. The owlbear apparently took offense at that because it reared and shook Machaira off with a growl, flinging her to the ground. The tabaxi's back hit the stone, knocking the air from her lungs and stunning her for a second. That was all the time the owlbear needed to slash her across the chest and abdomen, talons tearing chunks of meat and bone from her breasts and ribs. Machaira screamed as her intestines were ripped out of her body, partially digested food dribbling from of her shredded gut. Pain struck her so intensely that she momentarily blacked out and didn't see the beak stab down through her sternum, breaking the bone and crushing it against her heart and lungs.
Machaira's breath came fast and shallow, her pulse erratic and weak. She was so close to dying that she could already begin to smell death on herself. Sounds were fuzzy and indistinct around her. But she didn't go into shock. Machaira reacted to the attack instinctively, slowly standing to face the threat. Her guts slipped further from her body, adding to the growing sensation of lightness. Cold air blew across her organs. Gods, that was a sensation she hadn't missed. She forced her eyes to focus on the owlbear as it fell back to all fours, batting at its burning body.
"You… missed your… chance," Machaira growled, feeling cold fingers grip her heart, vision blacking. Between her sneak attack and Adaine's spell, the owlbear was as badly hurt as she was. Her sword was still stuck in its back, but she didn't need steel to kill. Machaira bunched her legs, summoning the last dregs of strength in her body. Her jaws parted, aiming for the skull. If she could get her teeth into it, she would kill it. Her last act in the Material Plane would be to keep this thing from hurting her friends. The tabaxi snarled, aware of her heartbeat faltering even as she began to push off.
"Face me in the air!" Both predators had forgotten that they were not alone. Before she could properly pounce, Gorgug flew down with a fearsome war cry and beheaded the owlbear in a single, clean stroke. Machaira stumbled as she canceled her leap, boots skidding on her own gore. "I'm sorry!" Gorgug wailed.
"Heh, good hit," she rasped, all the energy she had scrounged together for the leap dissipating. Suddenly she felt the bizarre sensation of something filling her, but not in the enjoyable, sexual sense. Kristen channeled the essence of an unknown divinity, spooling Machaira's intestines back into her body. Machaira's gashes partially sealed, blood replenishing in her veins. As her wounds reverted from already fatal to extremely painful, she became aware of an arm around her shoulders, supporting her. She looked over at the high elf holding her up, face creased in terror and relief.
"This time Gorgug got the owl," she joked to Adaine, offering her friend a grin. Adaine didn't so much laugh as gasp in shaky, silent relief. During their scrap with the owlbear, Riz had used the distraction to run out from behind the chest and shoot Daybreak in the back and then slink back into his hiding spot. Fig played a suggestion spell on her base.
"You should tell me the other names of – the names of the other teachers who are working to bring about the apocalypse with the Harvestmen." Their bard told him. The spell dissipated off the coach's thick skull. "Fuck." The tiefling winked at Kristen, who turned and winked at Adaine.
"It's not the same when you do it," the elf told Kristen flatly, causing the cleric to frown. "But can you heal the owlbear? Please, I can't kill an animal."
"Yeah," Kristen lied, holding her staff out. Her resurrection spell had no effect on the corpse. Fig winked at the owlbear head, but she couldn't give it bardic inspiration. With some of her energy returned, Machaira reluctantly separated from Adaine. She walked ten feet toward Fabian, drew her cross bow, and fired on Daybreak, piercing the back of his thigh with a bolt. Daybreak cried out.
"No one left to protect you, bastard," she growled. Fabian laughed and swung the Hangman around. Fabian floored the motorcycle and skewered Daybreak in the back with his rapier, digging in and dragging the Coach across the flagstones. Fig hocked a loogie into his eye as he passed, head bouncing off the stained rocks.
"Oh, I don't have any heart?" Fabian inquired harshly. "You stupid motherfucker!"
"Once again, this guy is kinda a role model to me," Kristen reminded them. Absolutely no one seemed to care as the rest of the party cheered and ridiculed the Harvestman. "I'm starting to have a change of heart about my friends."
"What if we decapitated Daybreak and swapped the heads of the owlbear and Daybreak?" Fig asked excitedly.
"Then bring him back and kill him again," Adaine added.
"Let's do it," Gorgug bellowed.
"Seconded," Machaira agreed with fervor as they surrounded the Coach. Kristen stared at them, horrified. Daybreak pulled himself off of Fabian's rapier, stood, and took three swings at Kristen, spraying gore into the air as his spear cleaved her chest.
"You befriended these heretics and liars?" He screamed. "You have rejected the faith, Kristen." The maimed cleric stared at him, stunned by pain and fear. "You could have brought about an end to this wicked world." He told her more quietly. Kristen tried to yawn and flinched at the pain from her injuries.
"Fuck," she groaned. Daybreak kept trying to turn to face all of them, frothing at the mouth in rage. Adaine cast Tasha's Hideous Laugher, but Coach's thick skull batted the spell away. Adaine gulped and moved back. Riz took out his rapier in the distance and raised it above his head, ready to stab Daybreak if the coach ran for the chest.
"Alright, let's do this old school," Fig announced, running for Daybreak with her bass held up like an ax.
"Fuck him up," Adaine cheered.
"Brain that motherfucker," Machaira cheered. Unfortunately, Fig wasn't much of a melee combatant and missed Daybreak completely after a huge windup. She grinned sheepishly and played a Healing Word for Kristen on her bass.
"Fuck you, Daybreak," Kristen cursed as she healed herself. Gorgug rose into the air and flew at Daybreak, hovering more than fifteen feet above them.
"Fight me in the sky – uh, oh." Gorgug realized his mistake as soon as he said it and begrudgingly landed behind Daybreak with a pout. Gorgug wailed twice on the fighter, ax sinking deep into his back. Daybreak's tattered sweatshirt fell off his body, revealing old grey chest hairs soaked in blood. But the human deflected Gorgug's third strike off his spear, return slashing the barbarian across the stomach. Machaira ran for Daybreak, growling. She lunged, saber cutting the Coach all the way down his back, slicing through the butt muscles and continuing halfway down his thigh. Daybreak stumbled, panting and looking wildly at the teenagers that surrounded him. The tabaxi snarled, flicking the blood from her blade into his eyes. Fabian drove the Hangman at Daybreak, rapier flicking across his neck. A scarlet fountain gushed from Daybreak's slit throat in broken sheets. The human sank to one knee, supporting his failing body with one hand and attempting in vain to hold back the blood with the other.
"… no… har…rt," The coach gasped, choking on his own blood.
"But funny thing about that," Fabian menaced, looming over Daybreak on his bike. "I might be taking yours!" The party stared, stunned. Adaine's mouth formed a perfect O. The fighter stared down at the coach but seemed to lose a little nerve as he teetered on the action, lips moving to words he wasn't fully uttering. Machaira met his eyes and gave him a shrug and jerked her head at the dying human. Whether he wanted to take Daybreak's heart or not, the half-elf should finish him quickly and be done with it.
"Hey, Fabian what's going on?" Fig asked. "You're, like, slowly mouthing some stuff to yourself." Daybreak groaned and dropped, lying face down in a spreading pool of his own blood, life seeping away across the stones he had wasted it on.
"Ah, sorry, uh, sorry, I was think about – I was thinking about actually…" The fighter took a deep breath and shuddered, repulsed by his own dark temptation. Machaira and Fig both patted him on the arm. Fig ran over to Ragh and put her boot on his throat. Fabian bent down and removed Daybreak's whistle as a spoil of war.
"Much easier to preserve than a human heart," Machaira commented mildly. Fabian laughed, nerves still frazzled. The tabaxi decided Fabian was more or less okay for the moment and padded over to Adaine. The wizard bit her lip as the scout approached, staring at Machaira with barely suppressed worry and fear. She placed her fingertips against the remaining wounds from the owlbear attack. Machaira winced, and Adaine flinched her hand back. Machaira quickly took hold of her hand and squeezed gently. She offered the high elf a tired smile and butted the crown of her head against Adaine's shoulder, stooping a bit to do so. Adaine huffed and smiled, briefly squeezing her back before they parted, each satisfied that the other was okay. Riz dragged the chest over to Fig. Gorgug picked up Daybreak's spear and inspected it for a moment before slotting the weapon across his back under the new axe holster.
"Hey, guys, come over here," Riz called. "For sure kill Daybreak, but we should talk to this guy." He pointed at Ragh.
"Let's kill Daybreak," Fig echoed excitedly. "I've got Whisper of Terrors that I've been meaning to use."
"I mean, let's tie him up," Adaine moderated. "Because, also, like, we just killed the coach. We already killed two teachers."
"They're monsters," Riz countered.
"I was gonna say you could take Daybreak's outfit, and I could impersonate him, but his pants are full of shit." Fig said.
"His pants are full of shit, and his clothes are all cut up," Adaine expanded. The wizard stayed close to Machaira as they walked over to the others. The elf busied herself mending their clothes and siphoning away blood and, in Machaira's case, food that was halfway to crap. Machaira murmured an emphatic thanks, and Adaine smiled, resealing the gashes in Machaira's jacket over her chest.
"Can you guys for sure kill this god monster?" Riz asked. "He's not a good guy."
"Yeah, I think we kill him," Fig said. As she spoke, Ragh's paralysis ended, and his body slumped under Fig's feet, fully dead.
"Oh, wait, Ragh's dead," Fig realized aloud. "Could someone revive him?"
"Could you revivify him?" Gorgug redirected to Kristen. The redhead nodded. "Do we want to?" Gorgug asked the group.
"No, but we should do it anyway," Machaira responded. "He doesn't deserve to die." Adaine smiled at her.
"He's a student," Adaine reminded them. "He's a piece of shit, but I don't want to kill him."
"Maybe we…" Fig began.
"I think that we…" Adaine trailed away.
"I don't know," Kristen admitted.
"We revive Ragh and ensure Daybreak can't be brought back," Machaira voted. "If the Harvestmen are in fact community leaders, Daybreak might just walk."
"If we bring him back to life, my thought is I have this Whisper of Terrors thing where I can basically make him super paranoid for like an hour." Fig added.
"Can you guys kill Coach Daybreak?" Riz repeated. "Anybody over there, just kill him."
"He's dead, right?" Gorgug asked.
"You wanna kill him?" Fabian repeated as if he hadn't just slit the man's throat. Riz rolled his eyes, walked closer, and shot Daybreak through the top of his skull. Brains exploded over the ground.
"He's a demon who wanted to cause the apocalypse," he reminded them. Machaira shrugged and nodded. Personally she thought it was a waste of a bullet when a sword would have done the trick, but she wasn't fussed about finishing the fanatical cultist. "We can save the kid, but – "
"Yes, but he still gave me detention, alright," Fabian told Riz. Both rogues stared at Fabian, trying to understand his point. The others all laughed tiredly. Riz shot Daybreak twice more, reducing his head to a formless mush. The half-elf nodded, satisfied. Adaine crinkled her face in disgust. Machaira flicked the back of the diviner's knee with her tail. Adaine started and lightly swatted her arm, smiling again.
Fig stared at the chest, eyes growing huge. She reached out and jabbed it, yelping as she hurt her hand against hard wood and metal. Adaine, eyes still glowing with a detect magic spell, explained that the chest was a one-use magical item that they were able to open with a scroll or other single expenditure magical item. The chest was inscribed with powerful conjuration runes relating to teleportation and portal to other planes, correspondence magic in essence.
"We gotta make a decision about Ragh," Riz swung the conversation back around. "Because Revivify only works up to a minute after death." That left them with twenty seconds. "I think we should save him. He's a student."
"Save him," Machaira voted again.
"Yeah, save him," Adaine urged. "He's a kid." Fig and Gorgug began tying him up with spare amp cords from Fig's backpack. Kristen cast revivify. As she did so, the others surrounded Ragh. Gorgug put him in a headlock, sliding fully underneath Ragh so that both half-orcs faced belly up. Ragh woke up cough and sputtering, breath coming out in harsh raps.
"You lost, man," Riz told him.
"Guess what, fucker," Adaine told him, face stone cold and voice calm, assertive. "You're our bitch now." It was not fair how much that turned Machaira on.
"I got you now," Gorgug told him happily. Fig played her Whisper of Terrors.
"The Harvestmen sold you out," she informed Ragh, demeanor serious as the mistress of lies did what she did best.
"… what…?" Ragh breathed.
"Yeah, Coach Daybreak, he sold you out," Fig elaborated. "He wanted us to kill you."
"Coach Daybreak would never sell me out," Ragh muttered. "He's number one. Coach Daybreak is number one."
"He said – "
"Then why did he give Fabian his whistle?" Riz interrupted Fig, jabbing his thumb at Fabian. The fighter showed off his prize and laughed.
"He said you had no heart," Fig told him.
"It's not true," Ragh gurgled on his spit and blood. "I'm owlbear through and through. Hoot growl, go owlbear."
"He had me take your letterman jacket away," Fig responded. Even though Ragh was wearing his jacket, the half-orc shivered in revulsion.
"Can someone go get the owlbear head?" Gorgug asked. Riz began to laugh in tired hysterics.
"We're not even sure if he was under some spell," the goblin gasped. "And we're just bullying this recently dead boy."
"He's been bullying us the whole time," Adaine yelled back, far more comfortable with beating up on Ragh than Machaira expected, but then the tabaxi loved seeing her friend's savage side.
"He's been really fucking with me, okay?" Gorgug yelled from beneath him. "He's been really fucking with me."
"Yeah, I'm thinking we leave Ragh with a parting gift to remember us by," Machaira said, holding her palm up and unsheathing her claws. Adaine, Fig, Gorgug, Riz, and Fabian snickered in a mix of dark approval and the mental exhaustion that always followed a battle. Kristen stared on with huge eyes, lips curled into a thin line.
"He gave me the nickname 'The Ball' and threw me in the trash," Riz reminded them. "But he's been, he was dead, okay?"
"I have to tell you – I have to tell you," Fig stammered, staring Ragh in the eyes. "For your own good, you have to transfer to Mumple School." Black wisps of magic floated about Ragh's face as Whisper of Terrors took effect. Riz's laugh became so high-pitched it blinked out of hearing.
"Yeah, you're damning yourself if you don't," Adaine told Ragh, eyes alight with vengeful glee. Machaira grinned, her mood as much improved by the promise of revenge as it was by the high elf's vicious elation.
"No," Ragh protested weakly. "don't send me to Mumple, don't send me to Mumple."
"You're ruined here," Fig promised him. "You have to go to Mumple and try and start over."
"No way," he breathed. "No way, owlbear forever." He sniffed. "Oh, I feel – "
"You know, everybody here is calling you Shit Pants," Adaine stepped in. Riz tittered, and Machaira gave Adaine the biggest smile she could without exposing her teeth. Gods, she loved this.
"Why?" Ragh wondered. "I didn't, why?"
"You shit in Coach's pants," Adaine told him. Fig repeated the statement. Riz ran over, retrieved Coach Daybreak's pants, and gingerly held them up for Ragh to see.
"I'm wearing my pants," Ragh argued, tired and confused. "I'm wearing – "
"You shit in his pants," Gorgug cut him off. "We switched the pants." Machaira, Fig, and Adaine were falling over each other laughing. The girls staggered about as if drunk, faces red as they tried to hold each other up, failed, and broke away. On some level Machaira knew they were enjoying this too much, but Gorgug's lie was too damn funny.
"Dude, we hooked you up, man," Riz told him.
"Fucking switched the pants, dude," Gorgug insisted, tightening his choke hold on Ragh. The other half-orc thrashed wildly in his grasp, but he was still too weak to do more than fail his arms around. Fig's head was bent back toward the sky. Adaine slumped against the tabaxi and grabbed the rogue's shoulder for support, breathing so fast that she couldn't form a proper giggle. Machaira finally broke and loosed an echoing, raspy roar of laughter that rumbled across the field. Adaine and Fig cackled harder. Fabian and Kristen finally cracked smiles, beginning to snicker with them. It was over: they'd taken down Daybreak, and now Ragh was going to get what he deserved. The emotional lightness that coursed through them was too heady for them not to laugh. Riz was the only one who managed to keep his cool, continuing to harass their prisoner.
"Here's the deal, during the game, you passed out, and you shit yourself. But look, we're owlbears to the core, too." Riz tapped his fist to his heart.
"Hoot growl, hoot growl," Fabian announced as if politely applauding an opera.
"Hoot growl, baby," Adaine said more convincingly, removing her hand from Machaira's shoulder and swallowing the last of her giggles.
"Hoot growl, hoot growl," they all chanted together.
"So we switched you out of your sweatpants," Riz began, pointing at the bully.
"Out of a favor for you," Fig interrupted, also pointing. "But if you cross us, we will tell everyone that you shit your pants."
"Little baby shit pants," Adaine taunted. Machaira did not think confident Adaine could rule any more than she already did, but the rogue had been very wrong. As one, the whole group roared with laughter. Ragh cried, thoroughly defeated and humiliated "You're going to Mumple, bro." Adaine crowed.
"Do whatever you want," Ragh sobbed weakly. "I'll do whatever you want. You can't tell people that I shit my pants. You can't tell people that I shit my pants."
"For the rest of our tenure at this school," Fig began, looming over the broken child. "You will defend us, with your body, to anyone who tries to say anything bad about us, smear our names, even so much as cheat off of us on a test – you will destroy them."
"Yeah," Adaine stepped in. "You think that we're really cool and… and…." Adaine stared, wide eyes mad with power that she didn't know what to do with. "You're going to vote for Fabian for Prom King." She pointed at the fighter.
"What, what, oh, uh, yes," Fabian stuttered.
"You want to be his quee – "
"No," Adaine cut Machaira's teasing off quickly. "No, no, just Fabian." Machaira giggled at her friend's red face and flicked her across the back with her tail. Adaine grabbed at her tail and laughed along, mock glaring at the tabaxi, who shoulder bumped Adaine and ducked her head at the elf in apology.
"Fabian and Fig for Prom King and Queen," Kristen announced loudly.
"No, no –yeah, Fabian and Fig, yeah, sure, I'll take it," Fig changed her mind halfway through, giggling.
"Also, what happened here?" Gorgug asked from underneath Ragh. At this point they all doubled over, howling at their own immaturity and poor attention span. Maybe they should have led with that one. But fuck it, Ragh was their bitch, Daybreak was dead, confident Adaine was back, and Machaira wasn't eviscerated any more.
If they wanted to be silly, who on earth could stop them?