Chapter 13: Best Laid Plans

Mary awoke lazily to her full bladder making itself known. Even so, she didn't move, too warm and comfortable to move, and so she tried to ignore the discomfort. It was the first time she had slept so well in a long time, so there was no need to ruin the moment. But her bladder wasn't having it, and eventually the Deputy was forced to move, inwardly cursing at her bodily functions.

She was alone in bed. Mary wasn't sure what time it was, yawning as she dressed herself into her robe. Smiling, she noticed her clothes from last night, neatly folded on the dresser. Joseph was always an early bird, so she wasn't surprised at all.

Still trying to fully wake up, she left her room after running her fingers through her messy hair in an attempt to tame it somewhat. Walking to the bathroom throughout the dreary bunker hallway, she felt her body complain, still sore from last night's "Christmas celebrations".

Mary rubbed her lower back with a grimace, trying to stretch as she walked. She slipped into the main den and paused when she found Joseph sitting at the table reading a book. He was only half-dressed again, his hair up in its trademark bun.

She smelled food of some kind, but it was overpowered by coffee, which lofted around the den and seemed to touch her very soul. The heavenly aroma painted a dreamy smile on the Deputy's face. Coffeeeeeee…but first I need to pee. Outta my way, everyone!

Joseph noticed her soon after, and his smile made her stop short halfway to the bathroom. Since when did that all-knowing, charming upcurve of his lips have that sort of effect on her?

"Good morning," Mary mumbled.

Joseph stood and came over to her. Mary's heart ping-ponged in her ribcage and must've hit her bladder somehow because she couldn't stay still. It only got worse when the cult leader ran his fingers through her hair and dipped down to place an affectionate kiss on her lips.

"Good morning," he said. He soon noticed her fidgeting. "Something the matter?"

"I just really gotta pee," she said lamely.

Joseph stepped aside with a small chuckle. "Well, you better go then."

Mary bolted for the bathroom and relieved herself. She felt like a shower was in order. Not only to clean herself from the unexpected workout last night, but to soothe the aching muscles all over her body. As athletic as she was, the Deputy was surprised she was that sore.

Ugh, I'm really getting out of shape down here...

She decided to have coffee and breakfast first and save the shower for last. Back in the den, Joseph had already prepared her a bowl and a cup. Oatmeal and toast. And apparently, he had watched her enough to know exactly how she made her coffee. Sometimes she forgot how observant he was. Normally, that would've creeped her out, but now it was actually endearing.

"Thanks!"

Joseph simply nodded, sitting down across from her. He only had a cup of coffee. Mary wasn't sure if he had eaten already or not. Joseph's eating patterns were weird enough. He pushed the book aside and watched her contently. The Deputy refrained from wolfing down her breakfast, as hungry as she was, now that his watchful eyes were resting on her.

"Sleep well?" Joseph asked.

Mary nodded. "The best in a long time, actually. You?"

"The very same."

That made her heart soar for some reason. They talked as Mary ate her breakfast. Joseph's eyes on her did interesting things to her body. She had always noticed him watching her but would usually try to ignore it. Now there was something simply magnetic about it, making her skin tingle.

Geez, get a grip, girl. You're acting like a horny teenager for crying out loud!

The Deputy couldn't exactly help herself though. Last night had been pretty damn amazing. She had to admit that for a crazy doomsday cult leader, Joseph was sure good in bed. Despite that and his toned body and good looks, Mary was still half in disbelief it even happened. Looking back, the sexual tension between them had been obvious for a while, no matter how much she had tried to ignore it before things took a turn for the hot and bothered.

They still had done horrible things to each other that would take time to heal, but they were now on a good path to making it happen. Not to mention, Joseph was sixteen years older than her, and well, Mary wasn't one to sleep around with older men...but she was willing to make an exception for him, should he...be interested. Not that she was hoping for it or anything.

Now that there's a clean slate between us…there's no telling what will happen next. Hopefully, things will be looking up for the both of us. I'm so ready to leave all the misery behind...

That new clean slate was felt in her very core. Mary felt…free. It was the best way to describe it as she and Joseph talked that morning. Maybe her life would finally start to feel like hers again. Maybe she could actually live now, instead of merely exist.

Still, there was something that nagged her at the back of her brain all morning, never quite revealing itself. She just couldn't put her finger on it. Mary was convinced that it had to be nothing but the usual morning-after-nookie anxiety with a new partner; the uncertainty, newness and awkwardness typically felt by new lovers. Although she didn't feel any uncertainty coming from Joseph at all. He was just…Joseph. So it had to be her for some reason.

She was unsurprised that Joseph sensed it just as he seemed to sense anything unsettling her. "What troubles you, Mary?"

Hell, I wish I knew!

She shrugged. "I'm fine…just…I don't know. Just a funny feeling. Something scratching at the back of my mind."

"If you're worried about last night, don't be. It was meant to be. Are you worried that's all I wanted?"

She quickly shook her head. "N-No, of course not."

He looked relieved at that. He placed a large hand over hers. "Good. Relax, love. Everything is fine."

Love? They weren't at that point already, were they? Her heart galloped in her chest, and she was both excited and scared at that word.

Mary softly smiled and squeezed his hand. "Thanks." She got up to put her empty bowl and cup in the sink. "I'm going to take a shower. Gosh, I swear you almost broke me last night. Thank God I'm so sturdy."

Joseph smirked, his grin half hidden behind his mug as he took a drink of his coffee. "You're welcome."

Mary gave him a half-glare for his obvious arrogance. She left the den, heading for the shower room. The Deputy stripped out of her robe and started the water, certain that a nice, refreshing wash would dissolve whatever was eating at her.

She tried to silence her thoughts by making herself relax under the current of water. The pleasantly warm shower woke her up and rejuvenated her body. After soaking in that moment for a while, she decided to actually scrub herself clean. The water pelted her skin as the Deputy crouched to pick up the shampoo bottle.

She opened the lid and squeezed the container, spilling white goop into her hand. Her eyes stared at the gel as it oozed between her fingers, slightly bubbling from the cascading shower. Mary froze at the sight. And the coin dropped - hard.

Then came the unbearable clench in her gut that soured her mouth.

OH. SHIT.

Mary screamed the kind of curse that would make a seasoned sailor blush, clawing at the valves to turn the shower off. She nearly slipped on the soapy mess puddled at her feet as she ran for a towel. In her hurry, she knocked the towel rack over ripping the towel off.

Still cursing, nausea rippling through her stomach, she raced out of the shower and down the hallway like a howling banshee, drenched and dripping all over the floor.

Dutch has to have some in the infirmary! He just has to!

The Deputy slammed open the infirmary door, fingers slippery. Every curse in the book had left her mouth at least once by now, and Mary tore open the infirmary cabinets. She tossed bottles and boxes aside that had nothing to do with what she sought.

"Come on, come on! Gotta have something!"

But she knew halfway through the next supply cabinet that it wouldn't be here. She was shit out of luck.

Mary kicked the side of the cabinet hard enough to crack the glass, hard enough to hurt her foot.

"FUCK!"

Joseph didn't know how long he had sat there reading his book, still sipping on his coffee, when he heard Mary scream. He had just enough time to look up before he heard a crash and explicit cursing. He got to his feet, thinking something had to be wrong, that she had hurt herself somehow, when her soaked, nude form flew by the doorway still screaming profanities.

Confused and a little worried, the cult leader left the den and followed her down the hall into the infirmary. He paused in the doorway, finding Mary tearing through the cabinets in search of something, towel half wrapped around her body, water leaking all over the floor, her mouth still spewing colorful words.

The Father sighed, leaning against the doorway. She definitely wasn't hurt, so he had a pretty good indication on what exactly she had to be looking for.

Knew this was coming, although I had hoped she'd take it a bit more…sensible.

Who was he kidding? The Deputy wasn't known for rationality.

Mary kicked the cabinet so hard that the front glass of one of the doors cracked. "Fuck!"

Joseph frowned as he watched her put her hands over her face, breathing heavily, nearly having a panic attack.

"Mary."

She whirled on him, eyes wide, grabbing up the towel. Her eyes became daggers. Joseph wasn't surprised she took it out on him first.

"This is all your fault! Oh my God, this can't be happening!"

If only she knew. The prophet pushed himself off the doorframe and slowly moved into the room, hands up in case she decided to attack him. She looked to be racking her brain as she chewed on her lip, her whole body restless and her mind antsy.

"The storeroom! I can check there!" she finally realized.

She started to slip by him, but he caught her, hands on her shoulders. He gently pushed her back to where he blocked her path, and she barely contained herself from punching him in the gut.

"Let me go!"

"You know there's none down there, so why bother?" Joseph asked.

She shoved him away and backed herself into the infirmary bed. She sat down, hands on her head, towel slipping a little around her slim form.

"What were we thinking? Oh God. I'm gonna be sick."

Her stomach constricted and writhed like a dying animal, making her feel nauseous and light-headed from her panic. But try as she might, Mary knew there was absolutely nothing she could do about it now, except pray it didn't take. She tried really hard to think of when exactly she had had her last period, but damned if she wasn't terrible at keeping track of such things. It didn't seem like that long ago, but the days blended together down here in the bunker, so her memory of the exact date was very vague.

Joseph draped a blanket over her shivering shoulders and then pulled up a chair. He studied her for a moment and leaned back in his seat. "It does you no good to worry about the corollaries now. What happened between us was completely natural and preordained. You'll be fine, Mary."

The Deputy paused, eyes slowly going from her lap to him, an unsettling feeling lodging itself in her chest. Joseph's body language fleetingly reminded her of the first day down here, handcuffed to her bed, the eerie calmness and the subtle pride that he gave off. It wasn't as menacing as it was back then, but just as disturbing. What the hell was he so smug about?

Joseph was always calm and in control, but Mary knew she should've noticed some sort of concern. He was too calm. There was a strange kind of satisfaction coming from him that did not sit right with her.

"How are you so relaxed?" she asked. "Do you not realize what exactly can happen down here? The dangers of it?"

Although his smile was reassuring, she sensed that pride lurking in his eyes. "I know exactly what will happen. You need not to worry. Everything is as it should be."

A knot wrenched in her gut and she stammered. "Excuse me?!"

And then it clicked. Mary felt like she had been doused with ice-cold water, that's how shocked she was. His behavior, his words, and her own instincts ironing them out. He knew the risk and didn't care…he wanted her to get pregnant!

She jumped to her feet, gaping. The cult leader slowly stood, as though reading her inner thoughts. Mary glared at him, so calm, so confident, and so ignorantly insane. And she kicked herself for forgetting that.

"You planned this?!"

Joseph frowned. "Of course not. God did. And He showed me visions of our future. Our union, our marriage, our children, all of it. And we'll lead the new world together, as the new Adam and Eve."

Oh my God…Jerome was right. Joseph really does think he's a king! He's absolutely insane!

"It's our destiny, Mary. Just look at the signs He has given us: Mary and Joseph, both miraculously finding shelter when they had nowhere to turn to. It was clearly meant to be all along..."

Oh God...and what the hell is he yapping on about 'Mary and Joseph' now?! Good grief! How did I not see this? He's completely lost it!

His words made her sick and she could only gather that he had planned this from the very beginning. She had dropped her defenses and forgot what he was capable of. This manipulative megalomaniac adept in violence, deception, and persuasion had trapped her with his charm and she let him right in, just like he wanted.

Mary grabbed the nearest pill bottle from the open shelf, not looking at the label and hoping it wasn't something they might need at some point, and chucked it at him. "Is this why you "saved" me?! To be your personal incubator?!" Her voice became shrill and broke the more upset she got. "You're fucking insane, Joseph! What did you think was gonna happen? That you'd get to 'repopulate' with me six times a week, except Sundays when the Lord would demand for your Twinky to rest?!"

The Deputy flung more bottles at him, angry and hurt and feeling absolutely used. Joseph protected his face as pill bottles, sharp utensils and gauze packages flew for him. Finally, the prophet took his chance when Mary was reaching for a pair of scissors and grabbed her, pinning her down onto the infirmary bed. The Deputy got one good punch across his face before he overpowered her.

"Of course it wasn't why I saved you," Joseph growled. "At first I wanted to kill you! Make you pay for what you did to my family. But God told me not to, and I didn't understand why! Until He showed me...until He let me see the beauty of His plan...it's fate and His will. We must obey to Him."

"You're crazy!"

Their noses were inches apart, Mary struggled underneath him as he straddled her, keeping her in place. She glared daggers at him but he only scowled, looking hurt.

"Am I? I wasn't wrong about the Collapse, or anything else I preached. What makes this any different?"

"Maybe because you slept with me with the sole intention of knocking me up, you selfish asshole!"

Joseph shook his head. "You're wrong. Our union came naturally because we are meant to be, sanctioned by God as He intended. You cannot deny the pull, our attraction, or our feelings. Why else do you think it happened so quickly?"

Mary refused to think he could be right on certain points; she was just way too pissed. Whether he was right about everything else before or not did not matter. The fact that he slept with her with the purpose of inseminating her for his delusions, disregarding the incredible risk this could mean for her - trapped in an underground bunker, far away from any anesthetics, let alone a doctor or midwife - was enough.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she banged her head into his chest to try and get him off, but he was a solid wall of unmovable muscle.

"You bastard, you don't even care how life-threatening this can be to me down here!"

"Of course I care. As my future wife and mother of my children I care more than you will ever know. That is why I am here to take care of you. We must keep our faith in God, and He will make everything turn out right in the end."

Mary thought she hadn't heard him right and stopped fighting, too stunned by his raving about them becoming a family, and too exhausted to continue to boot. Joseph's cheek puffed from where she had hit him, but he gave no indication that it bothered him. His eyes seared into hers. The scar across his nose from their fight at his compound was a reminder that their animosity wasn't all that long ago. And now, more than ever, the Deputy wondered: why her?

"You're even more insane than I thought if you think I'd ever willingly marry you and let you try and get me pregnant more than once."

Joseph sighed, his composure breaking a bit more. "It will happen, Mary. I'm sorry you had to find out this way. It isn't what I wanted or planned."

She snorted contemptuously. "Yeah, I bet not. Bet you just wanted me to be ever so willing and eager, right? Like one of your groupies?" She put on her best, mocking voice for a young, yearning female. "Oh, fill me up Joseph, please, I want your babies! Like that? Not in your fucking life."

Joseph disproved of her act, scowling, but it didn't prick him like she had meant it to. "You're angry. You have every right to be. I'm sorry, Mary."

The Deputy was more than angry. She was hurt. And she couldn't even understand why. Because she actually cared for Joseph? Maybe crushed on him in some twisted way? To hide this confusing pain, she just focused on her anger and scorn.

"I'm sure you'll be sorry when I don't get pregnant and you can kiss any more chances to get what you want goodbye. Now get off me."

Joseph respected her wishes and let her go, getting off of her. They stood up and the Father gave her space. He tensed, as if expecting her to start throwing things at him again, but Mary refrained herself. He just wasn't worth it.

"It will take, Mary. I promise you that. There is no use fighting it."

He sounded so sure, so confident, and she wasn't sure if it was in his delusion to "God's plan" or if he was just that conceited in his own performance. The Deputy glowered at him and pulled the blanket around herself tighter.

"It won't," she replied, more stubborn than confident. It was about time that Joseph realized he couldn't always get what he wanted. She certainly had no intention of giving it to him.

Challenging him like so didn't get her the reaction she wanted. The flash in Joseph's sharp blue eyes meant he had thought of something in response to her dispute. He smiled gently, but the faint traces of arrogance were still there.

"If you really believe that, then how about a proposition?"

Mary frowned, not liking where this was going. "What kind of proposition?"

Joseph almost smirked, pleased that she had taken his bait, but kept himself composed. "If you don't fall pregnant, I will renounce my faith in God, all my visions and my teachings. I will admit that I was wrong and that I am, in fact, crazy. I will let you go."

The Deputy almost let her jaw fall open, gaping, shocked by his words, but she knew he wasn't done as he took two cautious yet bold steps her way.

He held up one finger and pointed it at her stomach. "But if you do become pregnant, you will marry me and bear my children. You will atone and stay by my side forever and help me lead the new world as my wife."

Was he seriously that delusional? Mary hesitated, debating. He had been right about the Collapse and everything else…But what if it had all been stupid luck or caused by his far-reaching influences? It was uncertain how likely it was that he had managed to knock her up. It depended on her cycle and Mary had no idea where she was in it. She had been a wee bit too preoccupied with coming to terms with living underground in a post-apocalyptic world to pay much attention to this important little detail.

But one thing was for certain: she either would or she wouldn't, and now she had to decide whether she was willing to risk her chance at freedom from Joseph Seed and exposing him as a false prophet or becoming his forever.

It was a deal with the Devil, as far as she was concerned. But did she have a choice?

In the end, the Deputy's rebelliousness won out and she glared at him. "Deal."

Joseph smirked. "Good. It'll be a girl, by the way. She has your eyes and temper. I'll let you name her. Just pick something nice."

He turned and left the infirmary without another word. Mary remained by herself, thinking feverishly. A strange feeling came over her from his last words, but she tried her best to shake it off. He's just fucking with you, Emmy. You'll be fine…no pregnancy down here. No nappy changing and baby burps. No way in hell.

With a deep breath, Mary left the infirmary. After all this, she was ready to scrub herself raw to clean herself of him, hopefully reducing her risk of conception. What was it that women had used in ancient times? The Deputy thought she remembered once reading something about women cleaning their most private parts with a sponge full of vinegar in long gone times to prevent conception after having intercourse. Hadn't she seen a bottle of vinegar sitting on the counter in the kitchen somewhere?

Maybe it was worth checking out...

Desperate times and all that. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

The Deputy gave Joseph a murderous glare as she passed him in the hallway. She wished he would've dropped dead, but he kept her gaze, not wholly apologetic and not all patronizing. It was almost like they had been reset to their first month down here, just like that.

It was going to be a long, agonizing few weeks…

The next few days went by exactly how Joseph thought they would. Mary tried striking him down with dirty looks and didn't talk much, unless to berate him. He had things thrown at him, and she deliberately defied him and tried his patience whenever she could. The cult leader wondered if perhaps he would have to consider sleeping with one eye open from now on.

The preacher was deeply in thought as he had taken to scrubbing the kitchen counter for nothing better to do since Mary refused to share space (and time) with him for the time being. He felt restless, despite knowing things would work out in the end. The whole situation frustrated him. How was he to get her to talk to him again, have a normal, civil conversation - without salt shakers being chucked at his head?

Their animosity from before their "morning after" seemed so miniscule in comparison to the anger he felt coming off her in waves these days. Over the last few days, she had broken a number of things that she had aimed at his face whenever they crossed paths, and created a huge mess in the kitchen.

And just where the hell did that bottle of vinegar go?

Things just kept disappearing. He could have sworn there had been a packet of clean sponges in one of the drawers, now one of them was missing...he couldn't remember her throwing something like a sponge at him during one of their "discussions". Too soft, he thought fondly with a crooked grin as he wiped the counter dry.

Way too soft for her tastes for sure.

The Father's smile deepened. His Mary sure was a feisty one...

He was lucky she had eventually tired from tossing things after him and just stormed off in a huff, slamming the door to her room like a bratty teenager.

The preacher wandered off to the communication room once he was done cleaning up the kitchen, still lost in thoughts. While he crossed the hall, he halted for a moment, listening for any sounds from Mary, but things were quiet. Almost too quiet. No (not so) silent cursing, no throwing or breaking of things. Not even any crying. After the last few very heated and noisy days, he guessed he should probably have been grateful. Small blessings and all that…

But he missed their interactions. He had just gotten used to them spending time together - peacefully even! And then she'd let him close enough to break down her last barriers...before finally making her his. Before it all went down the drain with his sudden and monumental revelation, of course. But she had a right to know. He wouldn't have been able to keep their purpose from her for much longer anyway...the sooner she came to terms with it, the better.

Maybe that meant she was finally cooling down and becoming more rational again, now that she'd had some time to think. Her suspicious silence indicated that she was either sleeping or her mind working overtime, trying to figure out this new situation. Maybe she would even stop refusing to interact with him (without any violence) again. Hopefully soon. He just had to give her space. That was all that was needed. The Lord had brought them together for a reason, He wouldn't let her turn her back on Joseph now.

Joseph had trust in His plans and therefore kept himself in control, ignoring his inner demons that suggested old tactics from his Project. Mary had absolutely every right to retaliate and be angry, and he needed to be patient until she calmed down and came to her senses.

He did forgive her after all, and so there was no need to revert to his old ways. The preacher knew what would happen, and it would come out right in the end, even if this was not how he had wanted her to find out. Their whole progress seemed to have been dismantled, burned down, crumbled - and it would take time to regrow. Even once Mary realized that she had conceived, Joseph was certain she would fight him for quite a bit. The woman had been broken so many times that conflict was her automatic reflex, her defense as instinctive as any other cornered animal. And he had inadvertently broken what little trust they had built up...

Our daughter will help mend it. I just have to be patient and trust His plan. Everything will work itself out...

Joseph sighed, eyes lingering on the tattoo on his right forearm. Mary was so very different from his first wife, so different from him. She was more like John, volatile, emotional, and so damaged. But she hadn't become a monster. Her good heart and honor had remained somehow. But God never made mistakes, and they were meant to be. The Father was tasked with mending her, nurturing her. She would become a phoenix rising from the ashes of their old world - and in turn be what the new world needed her to be. But Joseph had his work cut out for him, as he was so quickly reminded.

What God gives…we have to earn. And we are still earning our keep down here, earning each other…We're far from ready for the new world…But Mary, I promise…the new world will be better to you. I won't allow it to be otherwise...

The communication room was silent. The record player had long since clicked off and he hadn't bothered to turn the record over, lost in his inner thoughts. Mary had mostly kept to her room for the past few days when she wasn't out eating or trying to smite him down with her eyes. The tables had been turned this round. Joseph was now the one left with the bunker while the Deputy holed up in her safe zone. But what differed between the two of them was that Joseph was used to living in seclusion and could thrive in it. It would only be a matter of time before Mary couldn't handle it anymore and would come back out of her shell.

The cult leader rose, deciding it was time to try and get some sleep. After their fight, Joseph and Mary had relapsed into more irregular sleeping patterns, messing up their days and sense of time.

He was about to leave when something made him freeze in place. Faint, staticky interference buzzed behind him. He slowly turned towards the radio, noticing the blinking green light. He went over to it. The static was soft, barely audible, but he could hear something deeper. A voice? He slowly turned the dial for the volume…

"Dep…hey Dep, you there? Finally got our radio workin'! Emmy, please answer if you're there."

They weren't the only ones. He had known from his visions, but he had not expected for the others to make contact so soon. And he hadn't expected these particular "leftovers" to be alive at all, let alone trying to communicate with them now.

Joseph listened, his head hurting, the sound of his heartbeat unbearably loud like the radio static. His fists clenched hearing the voices of those wretched rednecks. Grinding his jaw, he hit the switch and turned the radio off, silencing the noise.

The preacher picked up a hammer from the nearest table, glaring at the machine. He should've destroyed it months ago. About time to do what he should have done back then...

She's mine. You all should've burned like the others!

He had to keep Mary isolated. Keep her dependent on him only. It was the only way to get what he rightly deserved, what they both deserved.

The Father clenched the hammer, forearm flexing as he raised the tool, anger and frustration driving him. His arm hovered over the radio, about to smash it to pieces and cut them off completely from the outside. They had to quarantine themselves from the surviving contagions of the old world…or else get infected and tainted again.

But something stopped him before he could bring the hammer down. The Voice emerged from the far back corners of his mind, muffled but growing. The hammer trembled in his hand, and he was torn, fighting himself and even the Voice.

It took all of his willpower before the preacher finally dropped the hammer, burying his pride and hatred that had ignited so wildly. His head throbbed in protest, but in the end, he stepped away from the machine.

He had to trust in God. The Lord would make everything fall into place. Mary wasn't going to leave Joseph for them. God wouldn't let her.

The Father glared at the radio, but soon his lips quirked smugly. Your precious Deputy won't go back to you. I've already planted a seed…

A/N: And there's Chapter 13! Not near as long as the last one, but that's okay. We got a lot coming up for these two...

So...will Mary become pregnant or not? :3 And WHO was on the radio? Can you guess? Find out in the next chapter of Broken Haven!

We appreciate all your loyal readers and newcomers! Thanks for all the reviews/faves/follows it's really what keeps this story going! :D