Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. Just writing for fun.

Chapter 14: Reconcile

One of Leia's runners/messengers had collected Elle from the lake to inform her that they were back. Finn, Poe and his Black Squadron team, Rey, Chewie, just about everybody had made it back from the Battle of Starkiller Base. Everybody except her father. By the time Elle returned to the returning crowd at the base, she met with the old fur ball, Chewie who looked forlorn and sad.

She walked up to him slowly.

"We lost Han," he told her in his Wookie tongue.

Elle nodded. "I know."

"I'm sorry, Elle."

She shook her head. "It's not your fault," she said, and threw her arms around him. He hugged her back. "It's going to be okay, Chewie."

"How can you know?" he asked.

She pulled apart and looked up at him. "He'd want us to be."

She gave him a faint smile. It was just a feeling. Chewie nodded, understanding her, but still sad. She could feel it come off of him, mixed in with her own.

"Hey, where are the others?" She asked as it had just occurred to her that Chewie stayed behind near the Falcon.

"They ran off to med bay. Finn got hit bad by your brother's saber," Chewie replied.

Elle chewed her bottom lip worriedly before she spoke, "I hope he'll be all right."

"It looks bad, Elle. Think you can use some of your mumbo jumbo on him?" he asked.

Elle let out a half scoff. "I doubt it, Chewie. But you know if I could, I would. I think he's definitely proven himself to be a great member of the resistance. Whoever his parents were, they would've been proud of him."

He nodded.

"We should probably go inside. Leia probably wants to debrief," Elle said, and motioned a quick nod back over to the base. Chewie nodded again at her, but he hesitated, not wanting to leave the Falcon.

"Oh good, you guys are here," Connix said as she saw Elle and Chewie walk down the steps and inside. They looked at the crowd at the crowded control center. Everyone was looking at a hologram of what it appeared to be a map.

"What's going on Lt. Connix?" Elle asked as she followed the young dispatcher inside.

"That little white and blue droid suddenly buzzed to life, and has completed the map!" she exclaimed and Elle and Chewie looked at each other with hope in their eyes.

Elle and Chewie weaved in their way to fight their way to the front of the circular control panel. She was right across from her mother who looked at her and gave her a small smile. Elle smiled too. The atmosphere in the room had change too, Elle could tell.

BB-8 beeped excitedly at Poe. Poe walked over towards him and knelt down beside the little droid. "Yeah, all right, buddy, hold on," he pulled out the device he'd put inside of him when he had to make a quick get away on Jakku. Then he inserted it back after he erased the data and encrypted it so that it fit the missing piece on the navigational map in front of them.

The piece fit the map perfectly. Everyone looked at it with amazed looks on their faces. Even Threepio was astounded. "Oh! The map! It's complete!"

"Luke," Elle saw her mom place her hand over her heart. Elle looked down and felt a bit of shame in hers as everyone around her embraced one another that the mission was finally complete and that someone could finally find Luke to bring balance to the force of which Elle knew that she hadn't really been doing such a good job of.

Threepio walked over to R2-D2 and placed a hand on top of the droid's head. "Oh my dear friend. How I've missed you."

While everyone seemed to be happy, Elle didn't want to dampen their spirits, so she excused herself quietly, and slipped away from the celebrations that the resistance had well deserved.

Little did she know, that a certain pilot had witnessed her disappearance and decided to follow after her.

Elle ran back to her quarters and closed her door so that silence could enter it. She needed a moment of silence. Right now her head was as clear as a bell. No more dark voices from the past, present, or future. She was herself. Maybe. Sort of. She wasn't fearless. She was far from it. She just tried to take out her own mother. And if she hadn't lost her father, felt that moment within her, maybe she would have. It's what stopped her from doing the worst imaginable.

All this darkness she fell into…. It was hard to find a way out, especially when she had her brother by her side. She grimaced. None of it felt right to her. She had half wondered if Poe was responsible for helping her pull out of it completely. Force knows, her uncle was trying, maybe her mom too. Maybe everyone she ever cared about, learned about in the past had tried to break her out of her spell.

She sat down on her makeshift bed nestled in the corner and against the wall, and started to take off her shirt to look at the scars on her back towards the little mirror above her bed. She paused and moved up her sleeve, showing her the scars on her wrist. She turned her head to the side, shamefully.

Then she saw him in the reflection of the mirror. He almost startled her to death. He'd been leaning his shoulder against the threshold. She gasped in surprise. "Force, Dameron?! You ever heard of knocking?"

"Sorry, I…" he started, but then stalled when his eyes landed on the scars of her back. She covered them back up with her tunic, and crossed her arms over her chest guiltily. "Elle…"

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked in a whisper.

"Long enough to know you don't deserve those scars," he replied back in the same whispered tone of voice.

"Snoke is uh…well, let's just say he's a little creative."

"Snoke?" Poe asked, not sure if he believed it'd been his doing.

It was easier to blame Snoke. Elle's lips trembled as she tried to fight those painful memories of her training and her past. She'd become good at getting lost with the darkness. Ever since she fled with Ben, he became Kylo Ren, and she drowned.

But it wasn't him either.

It was just easier to blame someone like Snoke rather than a human being who could do something so horrible like that.

"I didn't want to do it, Poe. I got too lost in the dark, and I couldn't climb myself out," Elle let out a painful sob, feeling the pit of her stomach tighten. "I think if we hadn't run into each other…I would've been lost forever."

"I don't think that's true," Poe shook his head. He pushed himself off the threshold with his shoulder and walked over to sit down in front of her. He took her hands in his. "You've always been strong, Elle. You've always shown others how to conquer their fears, so they themselves don't get lost in the dark. Like me for example. I still remember the girl who gave me that...action figure, reminding me it wasn't the end of the world."

Elle sniffled, and shook her head. "Not today."

"Well, whatever didn't happen, it didn't happen. We can look past that, and move on," Poe informed her. "You are still that girl I remember all those years ago. She's still in there somewhere."

"Well, if you find her, will you let me know? Cause, I don't remember what that looks like," Elle replied honestly.

"I can do you one better," Poe said, leaning his forehead against hers, and Elle suddenly felt her breath caught within her throat at the sudden contact of his head against hers. Warm to the touch. "I can show you."

Elle chewed her bottom lip. "Gently?"

"However you'd like," Poe said, a small grin on his face. "I thought you were dead, Elle. We all did. To see one of my oldest friends back? The girl who saved me when I was falling too? I knew it was you. Especially when you're old self came back. It wasn't just a show. I knew you had to still be in there somewhere."

"How?"

"Because you wouldn't let your heart shatter, not completely. It isn't in your nature, Elle Organa-Solo," he placed a hand on top of her heart, and she listened to its beating against her chest. She heard his too.

Then Elle made a daring move, and she leaned forward to kiss him. He kissed her back that soon melted, making her close her eyes, especially when she felt his other hand reach up underneath her hair and gently hold her neck. She leaned into his warm touch. Was this what love felt like? If it was, she didn't want it to end.

"May I?" Poe asked, shifting a bit so he could get on top of her and lower her to the bed. Elle smiled lovingly and nodded. She let herself fall back against the mattress and her head against the pillow. She ran her hand through his hair and he looked down, smiling at her. She looked up and tilted her head to the side a bit. "Is this what love feels like?"

"Do you hate it? Cause I can stop if you want…I mean…" he trailed off teasingly and Elle lightly smacked him against his chest, making him chuckle.

She shook her head and gave him a real smile. He leaned down, taking that as a no, and kissed her rosy pink lips.

"By the way it was a doll, not an action figure."

"I'm calling it an action figure," Poe said, making her laugh. He grinned, liking her laugh and stole another kiss from her. They continued to kiss well into the starry night sky.

~*TFA*~

"I know the pain you feel, Elle…"

Elle bit back and grimaced, turning in her bed. She looked sideways to see Poe still next to her, well asleep, and then turned her back against him, not wanting to disturb him in his slumber. She got up, and reached for her robe, covering her own body, and sat down in her chair by her desk, looking over at her best friend in her bed. It was honestly the best night she'd ever had in a really long time. It felt like a lifetime that they were friends. She'd almost forgotten him. How could she forget such a man like Poe Dameron? Last night had been a well-deserved reminder of who and where she truly belongs. He gave her that.

She almost glared, not that Ben could see it, but she knew he could feel it. "Get out of my head. I don't need a monster inside of it."

"Is that what you think of your brother now? Who pulled you from the ruble and helped you become who you are truly meant to be?"

Elle shivered at his haunting voice inside of her head and got up from her chair. She started pacing back and forth in her room, listening to his words of warning.

"That Elle is gone, Ben. It's your fault you know. If you haven't brought the best pilot on board, I still might be with you," she said.

He let out an angry growl in her head and she grimaced painfully as it'd given her a sharp ping against her mind. She let out a short gasp and rubbed her forehead.

"Hey, you okay?" Poe asked. She froze and pivoted on her heel. She sat back down on the edge of her bed and nodded.

"Yeah, just a nightmare," she lied. "Go back to sleep. I'll be okay."

He nodded and turned to curl up on the other side of the bed, giving her room, so she could lay back down. She looked at the ceiling, feeling her heart rate race.

"I'll show you nightmare, Elle. If it's the last thing I do."

"You don't have to do this you know. You can come home," she tried to plead with him in her mind silently so she didn't wake Poe up again.

"It's too late. You know what I did, and now what I have to do. And I will at all costs necessary. You may have escaped the First Order, but you haven't escaped the dark side. Not truly. It is apart of you, whether you like it or not."

And when she heard his evil laughter ring inside her head, she shivered under her covers and curled up against Poe, tightening her arms around him.

~*TFA*~

The next day, Elle found herself with Chewie, watching him fix a few last bits of the Falcon, getting it back up and ready for Rey's departure to the island where her uncle was.

"Rey," her mother called out to the young scavenger ready to find him and bring him home.

Rey turned around to face her. "May the Force be with you."

She smiled, and nodded. She turned toward Elle. "Last chance to come with me, Elle. I think it might do you some good."

"Thanks, but, my place is here, offering light to the resistance. He'll listen to you more than me," Elle said, believing that truly. Rey was someone different. She had this intrigue about her. She could just pull you right in. Maybe that's what her uncle needed right now. Someone new. Someone fresh. Whatever it was, Elle knew it wasn't going to be her, not after what she did, and what she almost did.

"You shouldn't be afraid you know. He might turn around," Rey said.

Elle let out a small laugh. "Yeah, right. I screwed up too much for him to trust me again."

"All right," Rey nodded. "Well, can't hide forever either. He will come back with me, you know that, right?"

Elle smiled softly at her. "Maybe. Until then, I have all the time I need. I just…need time that's all."

Rey nodded. "I get it."

"Good."

"Any pointers?" Rey asked.

"Uh, I'm not sure to be honest. I think my mother said it perfectly. It was a long time ago. Things change. Good luck," she said and pulled Rey in for a hug.

Rey hugged Elle back. "I'm glad you're back with us on our side. We need it now more than ever."

"Me too," Elle grinned, nodded, and pulled apart and headed to stay back next to her mother, watching her take off into the Falcon.

"So," her mother turned towards her daughter, a wry grin on her face. Elle looked at her innocently once the Falcon disappeared into the atmosphere and into space. "Wanna tell me what happened last night?"

"Oh, um, I was just going to check on Finn, you know, hope that I could shed a little light on him, and help him come back to a speedy recovery," Elle grinned at her.

"Funny, cause that's where a certain pilot is right now…."

Elle wrinkled her nose a bit, and she couldn't help but blush.

"It's just…strictly platonic," Elle coughed, clearing her throat.

"Mhmm. Come on, I think we should start your training," she said, and Elle nodded.

"Really?"

"Well, from what you told me earlier today, about your brother, I think we should be ready. My young padawan."

Elle smiled and for the first time in a long time, she finally felt like she's found her place.

~*TLJ*~

A/n: So what'd ya think? The Last Jedi is next guys! The song Monsters by Ruelle inspired me. Thank you all for reading. Follows, favorites, and reviews are welcomed and loved! Also, quick side note, I know some of you had read my other story and I'm grateful for that, but I wasn't sure where I was going with that, so right now I'm just focusing on this one. :) Thank you!