I'm going to be honest. I wasn't really feeling it with this chapter. It took me a while to get it done, perhaps because it's the chapter right before the climax and is mostly preparation and padding. So sorry if it feels like the story drags or is low quality or boring. I swear the next and possibly last chapter is more action-packed and better. And I will get it out faster, hopefully, since it's much more interesting to write.

Also, prepare for some creepy Ivan in this one...

I do not own Hetalia, I only own my own imagination.

14. But We Clench Our Teeth and Rise

The first thing Tino noticed was the looks.

He could feel them on him whenever he was in the village, heavy and cold, and it felt as though they followed him all the way to the cabin. Tino didn't like being the centre of attention, he was the observer, so the villagers' gazes made shivers run up and down his spine. Tino felt like he had moved 5 years into the past to when he had still been new, a rarity and a target of suspicion.

That was the second thing Tino noticed, and even Berwald noticed it. The attitude of the villagers, or at least most of them. They treated Tino coldly, and even though Berwald was still treated with respect the villagers had less patience with the Swede's accent and some even disobeyed the directions Berwald gave them. That was very strange, when up until now the villagers had trusted Berwald to know better.

The change was subtle but quick, happening over the course of few days after Tino moved to Berwald's cabin. Tino suspected the villagers might've found out about it, but when he asked Raini the man said no one was saying anything like that. And Tino was sure that if everyone really did know about Tino living with Berwald it would be a much bigger rumour and Raini would've heard about it.

"But…I think I know why people are acting like this towards you…"

Raini admitted quietly, looking at Tino timidly. The two were standing in the shadows between the houses again, the afternoon was starting to turn into evening and the dark would soon fall. Which meant the shadows were dark and heavy and covered Tino and Raini perfectly.

"Really? Well, tell me, good man! I cannot stand being glared at anymore…"

Tino rubbed his arms as another shiver went down his spine. It really felt like the gazes clung to him even when they weren't there.

Raini glanced around once more, making sure no one wouldn't hear, and whispered his next words.

"They say Urho saw you two embracing in your cabin few days ago."

Tino's eyes widened, and he was thankful for the shadow when he could feel his cheeks redden a bit. And the very next moment he paled, when he realized what this meant. The rumours had backing now, actual evidence. Earlier they had been speculation, something people had entertained themselves and others with. But now that one of the members of the community had personal experience it was different. Especially if it was Urho, the man was known for never lying or making things up for rumours. If Urho had actually been at the cabin Tino wasn't surprised neither he nor Berwald had noticed, since they had been occupied in the very embrace Urho had seen. From the door that they had left open. Oh no…

Now Tino understood perfectly why the villagers were so cold to him and Berwald and why they glared. They were all God-fearing people, who had no mercy for those who went against what He intended. And if they decided to take matters into their own hands Tino was sure his place in the community would be all but forgotten.

"Tino? Tino, please tell me it isn't true. If it is then- "

"Raini."

Tino didn't let the man finish, he knew what the man was going to say. Tino looked Raini in the eye, he was panicking but he had enough reason in him to at least try and save his friend.

"You and me never had this talk, or any of our previous talk that had to do with this, alright? And if the villagers turn against us you can't stand up for us. If they think you're with us they won't spare you. Especially because of what happened with your older brother. Do you understand, Raini?"

Tino tried to sound stern and authoritative, but he sounded more like he was begging. Which he was. Tino wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to Raini because of him. Raini deserved none of what had befallen him, and Tino wasn't about to add to that burden.

Raini looked like he might cry and protest, but hesitantly he nodded. It looked like just that simple movement physically hurt him, he didn't want to abandon his only friend if the worst happened.

"Good. Thank you, Raini. For everything."

And with that Tino hugged Raini, probably for the last time. Because he and Berwald would be gone soon enough, and Tino didn't know if he would get another moment in private like this with Raini. Raini hugged back with all he had, perhaps he sensed that Tino was saying his goodbyes.

"Thank you for being my friend."

Tino held back tears, their time would be later, and he could cry them against Berwald's shoulder.

Tino pulled back and gave Raini a small, tired smile.

"It's about time we went back. Mr. Hålberg will be looking for you, and I need to find Berwald."

'I need to find Berwald and tell him about this.'

Raini nodded, and left before Tino. Tino remained in the shadows a moment longer, collecting himself. He needed to remain strong for just a bit longer. It was getting harder and harder as days, months and years went by, but Tino knew, that soon he might very well be free of Ivan. Tino could see his friends and they could go together, somewhere far away from Russia and Ivan, somewhere…

Somewhere where Berwald wouldn't be.

That thought hurt Tino much more than he would've wanted, it felt like his heart was being ripped apart. But Tino couldn't bring Berwald with him, couldn't make the Swede an exile. Berwald had a job, a life, and Tino didn't have a place in that life. That thought alone nearly made Tino burst into tears, but he had prepared himself for this pain. Life went on, so would Berwald and so would Tino. Eventually.

Tino breathed in, breathed out, and slowly walked back into the sun.

"Сколько времени это займет?"

"Два дня. Не намного дольше."

Two days. How could two days feel like an eternity? Two days made Ivan feel like bashing his lieutenant's head in, made him feel like shooting the three soldiers accompanying them. But he had to remain patient, had to keep up the façade. Tino wasn't going anywhere, he didn't know Ivan was coming and couldn't run. Why would he run? No, Tino should be overjoyed that Ivan was coming for him, Tino should run into Ivan's arms the moment the Finn laid his eyes upon him and never leave. That was the least Tino could do after abandoning Ivan like he had…

Ivan squeezed the pipe that was safely tucked under his coat. His hands itched to use it on something, or someone. Anyone.

They had been traveling for several days now, and Ivan didn't allow any excessive breaks. Only the bare minimum amount. The scenery around them was starting to all look the same. Same fields, same evergreen forests, same puny villages with the same villagers, that all had that same expression of fearful respect. Finland really was worthless. The people were so used to being under someone they didn't even care anymore who it was. As long as that someone didn't make their lives too difficult. They had no national pride, it was disgusting for someone like Ivan, who would gladly lay down his life for his country and tsar. Hell, some of these people had the gall to call the tsar the king, because they didn't know the difference. For them a ruler was a ruler no matter what the title.

Pathetic, spineless commoners.

But among the swine was the pearl, his Tino. Tino, who could see beauty even in someone like Ivan. Tino, who had all but worshipped Ivan. Tino, whose heart was much too large for his own good.

That heart would belong to only Ivan after this crusade was over.

Ivan snapped the reigns of his horse and quickly rode ahead, not even caring if his men caught up to him. He wanted to hurry, he wanted to get this over with. He wanted Tino in his arms and he wanted to never let go.

"Urho s'w us?!"

It was very unusual for Berwald to raise his voice, and thus when the Swede exclaimed in surprise it made Tino jump on the chair he was sitting on. It had been a while since Berwald's naturally scary tone and scowl made him jump, it would've made Tino feel nostalgic had the situation not been quite severe.

"Y-yes, Raini told me. It's why the villagers have been treating us differently. They don't just suspect that something is going on, they're starting to believe it."

Tino's tone got increasingly worried as he voiced his thoughts, and it showed. He fiddled with his coffee cup but didn't drink any, his stomach was currently knotted up from stress. Berwald was pacing along the length of the cabin, and he had a worried frown on his face. Tino had recently become capable of discerning between the different types of scowls on Berwald's face, and seeing this particular one was never good. Berwald was usually the one to stay calm no matter what.

"…Sh'uld we leave e'rly?"

Berwald asked after some more pacing, and Tino looked up at the Swede's turbulent eyes. Tino had considered the same option, the village was now turning unsafe for them. And if the villagers learned that Tino was actually sharing Berwald's cabin…The Finn didn't even want to think about it.

But they couldn't leave, not quite yet.

"Perhaps we should. But…not quite yet. Let's leave the day after tomorrow, in the afternoon. I still have one more thing left to do."

Berwald hesitated but nodded, and didn't ask Tino what he was planning on doing. If it was important Tino would tell him. Tino smiled at Berwald gratefully and looked down at his now cold coffee, taking a sip. He had calmed down enough to keep it down, hopefully.

Berwald also poured himself a cup, and the two sat in a companionable silence, trying not to glance at each other too much. Thus far their cabin sharing had gone quite well. Berwald slept on the floor on the spare mattress and Tino on the bed, despite the Finn being against robbing the Swede on his bed. Even tonight, after the two finished drinking their coffee and eating, Tino yet again had an argument with Berwald over who should sleep on the bed.

"Like I said, it's not good on your shoulder if you sleep on the hard floor! Take the damn bed, Berwald!"

Tino was getting sick of Berwald being so kind, since it happened to put the Swede's own well-being in jeopardy. But Berwald was just as stubborn as Tino and crossed his arms, standing his ground like a mountain.

"'M str'ng an' st'rdy, it won' kill me. Ya get s'ck easy, we can' risk it when we're 'bout to go on a l'ng journ'y."

Tino groaned in frustration and glared up at Berwald, although the Swede had to stifle a smile because Tino looked endearing even when angry. Tino tapped his foot in frustration until he finally exclaimed, giving up.

"Fine! I'm not your wife, see if I care if you ache or get sick."

Tino pouted and promptly turned around, diving under the covers in quite the juvenile fashion. Berwald couldn't help it, he chuckled, because they both knew that Tino didn't mean his words. Tino cared immensely, and was already starting to feel bad for what he had said.

Berwald followed Tino's example and took his place on the mattress after throwing some more wood into the fireplace. It was very unpleasant to wake up to a chilly cabin, especially when you slept on the floor where the cold settled first.

After few minutes of silence and the wood crackling Tino peeked his head out from under the covers, glancing at Berwald's dark figure on the floor.

"I'm sorry Berwald. Good night."

He whispered, and Berwald answered with a gentle grunt of forgiveness. Not that he had been angry in the first place, and although Tino could guess that he still wanted to apologize, if only to soothe his own guilt. There was a smile on Berwald's face, because Tino was more precious than he could even describe.

Both men fell asleep with their backs facing each other, but small smiles on their faces.

Berwald woke up in the middle of the night to a slight chill and Tino's distressed groaning and mumbling. Berwald opened his eyes to a dark cabin and quickly sat up, looking around for the threat. But Berwald saw nothing in the dying light from the fireplace. Instead he saw Tino tossing and turning on the bed, clearly still asleep. But as Berwald carefully stood and walked over to him he saw that there was a deep frown of distress on the Finn's face. Berwald's mirrored it, and he knew Tino was having quite the nightmare for the reaction to be this severe. Tino had the habit of moving a lot in his sleep, Berwald had noticed that during the Finn's brief stay, but it hadn't been nearly this bad before. Berwald reached his hand out and set it on Tino's shoulder in order to shake the man awake, but just that light touch was able to make the Finn's eyes shoot open. Tino sat up with a short yell, a panicked look in his eyes. Berwald rushed to calm the Finn down, sitting beside him on the bed and gently squeezing his shoulder.

"'S me. Don' w'rry, 's just me."

Tino blinked rapidly, staring at Berwald with unseeing eyes for a moment. But then recognition flashed in his lavender eyes, and Tino slowly relaxed. He took few deep breaths, there was cold sweat all over his brow.

"B-Berwald…i-it was..it was a dream about…I-Ivan…"

Tino didn't need to say anything more, Berwald merely pulled the Finn closer and carefully held him against his side, putting one of his arms around the man's shoulders. Tino leaned into the touch without inhibitions, too tired to try and block the urge to seek support from the Swede. He sighed deeply and, as subtly as possible, breathed in Berwald's scent. It always managed to calm him down, like magic.

They stayed in this position for a while, until eventually Berwald attempted to move back to his mattress. But he was stopped by Tino, who grabbed onto his arm with a borderline desperate look on his face.

"Berwald, c-could you please…stay beside me? At least u-until I fall asleep again. I-I'm still…I feel like if you're here…he won't show up again."

Tino could feel his cheeks get red, but thankfully it wasn't discernible in the dim cabin. Berwald's whole face flushed as well but he grunted, agreeing, and after adding some wood to the fire he joined Tino in the bed. At first, he tried to keep his distance and let Tino have his space. But Tino sighed softly, and carefully snuggled close to Berwald, trying not to be too clingy. Berwald stiffened for a short moment, unsure what he was supposed to (or allowed to) do. But Tino fixed those doubts for him, as the Finn shyly reached for Berwald's hand and held it in his own. Berwald interlaced their fingers, which brought a small happy smile to Tino's face, and they both closed their eyes. But before either of them drifted to sleep Tino spoke, his voice partly muffled by the blanket.

"C-Could you go to town without me tomorrow after leaving me to my own cabin? I have something I need to do, and I have to do it before we leave this place."

Berwald yet again grunted in affirmation, but his curiosity got the best of him and before he could shut himself up the question came out.

"Wh't're ya gonna do?"

Berwald's tone wasn't insistent, and left Tino plenty of space not to answer or give only a vague answer. But Tino had decided to only tell Berwald the truth from now on, and omitting information was lying in its own way. He squeezed Berwald's hand a bit before answering.

"I'm going to burn my paintings."

Berwald looked down at Tino with a frown, but the Finn was staring stubbornly at the Swede's chest, knowing that Berwald would protest. And he knew that if he let the Swede try and talk him out of it Tino just might yield, and they couldn't have that.

"It has to be done. Ivan will search the cabin, and he would find them. He might use them to further incriminate me, it's too risky. I have to destroy the evidence."

Berwald wanted to protest, he really did. Tino's paintings were beautiful, a gift to the world (much like the man himself), but Tino was also right. It was frustrating but true. Berwald huffed, not satisfied, and instinctively pulled Tino a bit closer to himself.

"I'll c'me with ya."

Berwald knew that burning the paintings would hurt Tino, the man put a part of himself in every single piece he painted. Tino had told Berwald that, and much more.

Now Tino looked up, a look of determination in his eyes as he peered into Berwald's as stubbornly as he had looked at his chest just a moment ago.

"No. If neither of us show up to the village it will be suspicious. We have to keep living like nothing is wrong. You can tell them I'm cutting down trees, or that I have other work. I can do it, Berwald. I've done it many times before."

Yet again Tino was right. Why did he have to be right? Berwald was frustrated that he couldn't be there to shield Tino from the hurt when he had to watch small pieces of himself burn. Berwald's frown deepened, but any remnant of fear that Tino might've once felt because of it was gone. His gentle giant would never hurt him, Berwald was just worried. So, so worried. And Tino loved him for it. Tino smiled a small, vaguely sad smile and brushed Berwald's hand with his thumb.

"I will be fine. And I will be here waiting for you when you get back."

Those words put Berwald more at ease, just the thought of Tino smiling at him the moment he walked through the door was enough to make Berwald happy. The Swede hoped that could be his every day. An idea came to him, and he voiced it with the smallest of smirks on his face.

"Like a w'fe?"

Tino snorted and a blush spread on his cheeks, Berwald had a surprising playful side the Swede sometimes showed. Usually in the form of puns and random quips such as that. Tino hid the small amused smile on his face and gave Berwald's chest a weak punch.

"You wish. I would be quite the catch."

Well, Tino wished it too, but it would never happen. Two men couldn't marry, it was only an impossible dream. Tino would give anything to be able to dress in white for his love and give his heart and very soul to him, for all eternity. Because Tino was sure even death wouldn't be able to tear them apart.

Little did Tino know Berwald had very similar thoughts, and the Swede had to hold himself back from pulling Tino into an embrace. He had to settle for squeezing the Finn's hand, and saying the quiet words that swirled in his mind.

"If ya were my w'fe I'd nev'r leav' ya."

Tino's heart nearly stopped, and then it began beating at such a rapid rate the Finn was sure it would come right out of his chest. His entire face and neck flushed, and Tino slowly pressed his forehead against Berwald's chest, so the Swede wouldn't see the wide, giddy smile on his face. Tino had been suspecting it for a while, but perhaps…Berwald felt the same way he did. Judging from his words, actions and the way Berwald's heart was beating Tino dared to believe his hunch. But neither of them would say it, or at least not Tino. He was too scared, he didn't dare. But for now, in this quiet cocoon of theirs under the blanket, Tino let himself believe they were two lovers, sharing the same heartbeat.

"I'd like that."

Tino whispered very quietly, and after that neither of them said anything. They listened to each other's breathing and heartbeats, and slowly they both fell asleep, their fingers still intertwined like they would never let go.

Days until the meeting: 4

Сколько времени это займет? = How long will it take?

Два дня. Не намного дольше = Two days. Not much longer

I now realize the countdown might be a bit useless, but I already put it in and it shall stay in because I take responsibility for my decisions, dammit!

Yes, writing that fluff at the end was immensely satisfying, thank you very much. It made me feel all warm and happy inside, like SuFin often does. I do realize in this fic the ship is slow burn, and it's frustrating even for me, but I already have some more SuFin fics planned with much more fluff, domesticity and maybe even a little NSFW, so look forward to that after I finish this fic~

Please leave a review, it gives me motivation! And favourite and/or follow if you'd like, we're so close to the end! Hang in there!