Chapter Fifteen

The rain pounded on the roof of the car as Steve held the passenger door of Annabelle's Subaru open for Amber. She quickly got in as he slammed it shut and darted around to the driver's side. She reached over, opening the door for him.

He got in and closed it, wiping his hand over his damp hair. "Damn it's raining hard," he shivered, starting the engine to get the heater going.

"Might be another day before we can start hiking again," Amber added, putting her hands up to the vent, impatiently waiting for warm air. She glanced over at Steve as he stared at her, perplexed over that comment. "What?" she asked, looking at him in the same way.

"What do you mean, start hiking again? We're done with the PCT, Amber."

"Why? We can keep going."

"No we can't," he huffed. "You're pregnant, remember."

"So. It's just walking. I'll be careful and if we start to get…"

"No!" he said more firmly. "We can't. You can't."

"Steve," she began when he cut her off again.

"Amber please, I can't hike with you in this condition. I just can't. It may sound sexist and even caveman like but I don't care. I'll be a nervous wreck with every step. So please, don't fight me on this. It's just over."

She gave in knowing he was right, but didn't think of his reasons sexist nor barbaric, she thought it sweet that he cared enough already about her well-being.

"Ok we're done," she agreed, but felt bad over it. "You can keep going without me if you want. Really Steve, it's ok."

He smiled over that generous offer, but it too was out of the question. "What's Pig Pen without Piglet."

She was glad that he didn't seem mad; he didn't even really seem disappointed. But it didn't make her feel any better about their situation.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I know how much you wanted this."

"Why are you sorry? This is my fault. I think I wanted it more that night than you did."

Amber laughed, "Not true. I think I kissed you first."

He chuckled, not really knowing who instigated it. "Ok. I guess this is all your fault then," he joked.

She knew he was teasing her, "Very funny. So what now?"

The smiles slowly faded from both of their faces. That was the question of the hour, what now? Yet neither spoke up right away, not knowing the answer.

Steve had two things on his mind and two things only, Amber and Catherine. He knew and trusted his feelings for Catherine, they were undeniable, and even though she was gone he was still in love with her and still relied on his trust of that love for guidance. It was the reason he was sitting where he was at that moment, an impending father once again.

Amber had one thing on her mind and that was Steve. She'd only known him for a short while but knew him well enough to know that she could rely on him, but wasn't sure how much of him would be available beyond the financial part. She didn't expect anything and wouldn't ask for it either, knowing his love for his wife and the grief that went along with it was all too real, but she did feel they could make just as good a team in life as they did on the trail.

"Steve," she said softly, looking out the window and not at him as the raindrops struck the glass. "I know what kind of man you are and I'm thankful that I met you, and I don't regret that night. I never have and I never will. I think we just needed each other for different reasons and," she smiled slightly, "mine was fulfilled, I hope yours was too, but…" she swallowed hard, trying to wet her dry throat as tears well up in her eyes, "I don't want you to feel trapped or stuck in this situation. I know how much you loved your wife and how difficult this must be for you. You can be involved as much as you want or as little as you want and I'll understand."

This friendship with her was very important to him, especially now; it was another reason he was sitting there and not back in that clinic. He'd felt he was letting her down as a friend by allowing her to go through with the abortion when he was the responsible one, and he'd never walked away from his responsibilities before and wasn't about to now.

"I'm in this with you, Amber, all the way. You talk about my grief, what about yours? This can't be easy for you after losing Adam and Ava. I saw that part of you and it was…" he recalled the pain in her voice as she told him about their deaths, feeling his heart go out to her again. "I won't let you go through this alone, not because I shouldn't and it's the right thing to do, but because I want to be there for you."

She was right, he was a good man. "Thank you," she whispered leaning her head against the window.

He couldn't see her eyes, but saw a tear run down her cheek. It made him mindful of what they were facing and just how he could be there for her. They lived so far apart. She had a home to go back to and so did he. He thought of Danny and cringed a little, wondering what he would think of all this.

It suddenly dawned on him then that Amber knew of Danny and even Chin and Kono, but never, not one time had he ever heard her speak about a friend back home nor had she ever called anyone while they had been together, no one, not once. And worse than that, no one had reached out to her. That sent a cold shiver down his spine, knowing she was truly alone now.

He began to put bits and pieces together of their conversations about her home. It was a small town and her only friends he recalled her saying were wives of her husband's fellow officers, and once he was gone, so were they. He remembered her even saying that some blamed her for the deaths, especially his partner, which Steve found grotesque.

He pictured her in Indiana, alone, pregnant and then a single mother with his baby after it was born. It would be like hell for her. If he wanted to be there for her then he couldn't let that happen.

"That night in the hotel," he began, "I asked you to come visit me in Hawaii. Do you remember that?"

Amber smiled, wiping her eyes, "Yes."

"Well, why don't you? Why don't you come to Hawaii with me, Amber, to live? We can raise the baby together there."

She wasn't overly shocked with his invitation, wondering if he would ask her that, but now that he had, she had her doubts. He was still grieving his wife. How would she and a baby mix in with that?

"I don't know, Steve," she swallowed nervously. "It's very expensive. I mean I have some money, but I'm not sure I have enough for that."

"Stay with me," he blurted out. "I have the room."

Now she was genuinely shocked as she turned her head and looked at him.

He leaned forward, putting a hand on her knee, "We practically live together now. It could be a temporary solution. Just come for a while and see if you like it. If you don't…then we'll work something else out. I promise."

She knew it wasn't a romantic invitation by any means, neither of them was ready for that, but under the circumstances having his support was something she needed to strongly consider.

She bit her bottom lip, "Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes. We make a great team. I think it would work out well."

She stared into his eyes, not sure what she was looking for, but she didn't see doubt.

"What do you say, Amber? Toes in the sand or snow?"

She had nothing to go back to in Indiana, except more heartbreak, and with Chris' harassing texts, she knew going back pregnant would just make him even more resentful towards her.

"Ok," she smiled. "What the hell. I could use some sunshine."

"Ok then," he grinned, patting her leg where his hand had been, feeling one obstacle was overcome. "We better get Annabelle's car back, I'm going to need that $10,000 on my credit card," he joked, putting the car in gear.

He was generally excited about the offer and her acceptance, knowing it would be easier on her and him, considering it a good decision, until he pictured her there in his house.

Catherine's image suddenly appeared and he felt his heart drop to his stomach over bringing in another woman where she had been less than a year before. He had come on this hike to try and move on in his life, but bringing someone home with him, pregnant with his child no less, almost felt like a slap in the face to her memory. But it was too late now. He couldn't take it back. Amber was coming to Hawaii.

It was an impulsive decision but one that was based on hers and the baby's best interest. His error, was offering up his house as residence, but that also was too late to take back, it would make it seem like he really didn't want her there, and he did, didn't he?

He had mixed feelings about it now, feeling the first signs of the life-changing event that was going to turn his world upside down. He became mindful of people back home, including his friends and Catherine's friends. How would they handle this news and Amber's presence? Would they be angry, acceptable or resentful? Many would question his relationship with Amber since she'd be living in his house. Which made him question it himself. People would only assume they were a couple. What would he tell them? Who was she to him?

She had become a permanent staple in his life, even before that night in the hotel. That he knew. But now everything had changed since they'd slept together. The event had been swept under the rug, and the feelings that arose out of it ignored, but there was no ignoring them any longer. She was sitting next to him with his baby growing inside of her as he tried to decipher his feelings for her while Catherine's spirit was wrapped around him so tightly that just the thought of moving on was difficult to embrace.

He didn't know how he felt about her. He respected her immensely and admired her courage. They were the same two qualities that he valued most about Cat, but his heart wasn't something that he wore on his sleeve, nor did he want to. He had played that hand and lost everything.

His mind drifted back to that night in the hotel and the warmth and satisfaction that he received from her. It was nourishing, and he had got out of it what he had been searching for, pleased that she had too. But they both got a little more than they had bargained for and now here he was, sitting in a stranger's car with pregnant Amber sitting next to him and they were both coming home with him to live. She had been just as guilty of ignoring that night as he had been. Assured that she understood the invitation passed on to her was one of friendship and not the other. She'd be sharing his house, but not his bed. He wasn't ready for that, and he was pretty sure she wasn't either.

Amber had wished many times over that Steve would have been Adam and Ava's father, knowing how wonderful he would have been, and now she was going to get the chance to experience it with this child. The initial shock of the pregnancy had worn off and she now turned to the future.

The invitation to move into his home was unexpected but it was also smart and generous and she hoped that he wouldn't regret it. She was sure he did it for financial reasons and nothing more, which she agreed with. Even though she was carrying his child neither one was emotionally ready to deal with a relationship in that capacity, the baby alone was enough to deal with.

She felt somewhat relieved now that a plan had been made and she could focus on that. It was a risky move for her and not without doubt. She was going to a strange place that she'd never been before and would be pregnant on top of it. She glanced over at Steve and knew she could trust him, but it didn't ease the anxiety of what her life would be like there. She felt she could handle the change in the living arrangements, but what about the physical and emotional changes to her body that came along with the pregnancy after losing Adam and Ava? She felt her grief well up inside of her, wondering if she would ever find joy in this pregnancy without feeling the grief of missing her other two babies? The two went hand in hand.

"Amber," Steve said to her as he drove the road back to the cabins.

She looked over at him, "Yes?"

He had been so worried about what people back home were going to think about his situation that he never thought about it from her point of view. He was going back to a place that was familiar, with friends that in the end he knew he could count on no matter what, but she had none of that, except for him.

"I just want you to know that I'll do my best to make you feel comfortable there, in Hawaii I mean. I know its going to be a huge change for you in so many ways, but more than anything else, I want you to feel safe and I want you to be happy."

Any doubt or fear she was harboring about the move flew out the window. His timing was impeccable. She didn't have to fear the unknown because he'd be by her side, the same as he'd been for the past four months as they traveled the PCT that was just as mysterious as the road they were now going to venture down.

"Thank you, Steve. I appreciate that, more than you know."

He smiled, feeling triumphant that he had made her happy. "Day by day," he said, "just like the hike, we'll take it day by day."

Amber nodded, but asked the same question she had earlier.

"Are you sure about this, Steve? I mean, are you really sure? I need to know."

This was his chance. She was giving him a prime opportunity to either bring up another living arrangement, or to scrap the idea all together. It crossed his mind but so did the baby.

It wasn't about him anymore. Amber's needs outweighed his own.

"Yes, I'm sure. We'll be ok Amber, I promise."

He hadn't lied to her or let her done yet, so she believed him when he said it was going to be ok.

….

Annabelle knocked softly on Amber's cabin door after they had returned. She'd yet to see her since Steve had dropped the keys off and Amber had gone straight to her cabin.

They door opened and she smiled at the older woman who held a bowl in her hand with a paper towel covering it.

"I brought you some chicken chowder from the kitchen. If you're hungry?"

"Thank you, Annabelle," she replied, opening the door wider and allowing her to enter.

She came in and set the bowl on the table, and then turned to her with a sympathetic expression. "How you feeling, honey?"

Amber took deep breath and let it out, "Pregnant," she announced.

Annabelle looked perplexed at first and then smiled brightly, "You didn't do it?"

Amber shook her head, "It was close. We were there in the office and they called my name and…" she sighed, "it just didn't feel right."

Annabelle walked over to her and gently grasped her by the arms, "Congratulations then."

"Thank you," she replied as they both hugged.

Annabelle leaned back so she could see her face, "Can I ask you a personal question? You don't have to answer because it's really none of my business."

Amber nodded her agreement, she'd only known her for such short time but yet she trusted her like an Aunt. "Of course, what?"

"Whose idea was it to not go through with it? Yours or his?"

Amber smiled, knowing what she was thinking. "They called my name and Steve put his arm across my chair, preventing me from getting up. He's taking me home with him," she added, "to Hawaii."

"My, my! You're jumping in with both feet aren't you?" she said impressed.

"It was Steve's idea."

Annabelle hugged her again, "You'll be just fine then, honey. You trust your feelings and you'll be just fine."

"Thank you Annabelle for all your help. It was comforting having another woman to talk too."

"I'm glad I could help."

"You know," Amber began, "they say there are angels on the trail, I think you were mine."

Annabelle was flattered by that, hugging her once again. "The universe works in mysterious ways," she added. "This man seems to care about you, otherwise he would have let you go through with it. Maybe he's your angel?"

Amber shrugged, "Maybe, or maybe we're both jumping in with both feet way too soon. I don't even know what to expect, or to expect from him, or myself for that matter. Where does his obligation and ties to us end?"

Annabelle looked at her inquiringly, knowing the situation but hearing something in her voice that made her curious to ask. "Are you in love with him?"

"No!" Amber quickly replied. The speedy reply surprised Annabelle as well.

"That's an awfully quick no for someone who is jumping in with both feet and moving to a place she has no idea what to expect, with a man she is willing to make the changes for."

Amber sighed, "I can't fall in love with him. I won't let myself."

The older woman looked in her eyes and saw disappointment more than she did sureness, "Hmmm, I'm sorry, but from the seats over here, I think you already did."

Amber stared at her, thinking about that question. She had never let herself go that far before with Steve, it was too dangerous, but now being confronted by it she had to ask herself, after all they had been through together had she fallen in love with him and just not realized it? Love had become a confusing emotion to her over the years. She loved her children, there was no question there, but she thought she had been in love with Kevin at some point in her life but he had snuffed out that flame and made her weary of that type of love, if it was even possible or existed.

"He means a great deal to me," she explained. "I respect him and trust him more than anyone in my life right now. I think maybe that's what you are seeing. My admiration."

"Hmm," Annabelle contemplated that reply, "I admire, respect and trust my husband more than anyone else in my life," she smiled, "and that's why I have been in love with him for forty four years."

Amber didn't know why, but that brought tears to her eyes.

"He doesn't feel that way about me," she confessed.

"Or maybe he's just as confused as you are?" she said knowingly. "No man takes on the roll that he is about to for a woman that he just 'likes'," she used her fingers as quotes.

Amber shook her head; "It's too dangerous, besides he loves his wife too much."

"She's not a part of this world anymore," Annabelle argued, "and you are."

"We can't!" she fired back, walking away from her, not wanting to discuss it any longer. "There's too much at stake! Love would just make it more complicated."

Annabelle laughed, "Denying your feelings makes it more complicated. Having someone to love and getting it in return, that is the uncomplicated part."

"Stop it!" she practically yelled, "Please! I just can't talk about that right now."

"I'm sorry," Annabelle quickly retorted, feeling bad now for badgering her. "I'm sorry honey. I didn't mean to upset you. I think I've seen one too many of those Hallmark movies where everyone in the end solves the complicated issue with a tender kiss."

Amber couldn't help but chuckle over that, "Those movies are so dumb."

"I know, but I can't help myself, love is the one true emotion that I don't want to lose sight of, and neither should you. Don't shut the door on that tender kiss honey. I'm just an old lady from the sixties who runs a restaurant and camp up in the mountains of Oregon, but if there is one thing I know above everything else, the love of a good man will make you happy no matter where you live."

Amber sighed and then smiled, "You're a hopeless romantic, Annabelle, I'm just hopeless," she chuckled.

The older woman put her arms around her, "You go on your adventure with this man, and if it doesn't work out," she leaned back with her hands on her arms, "you and the babe can come back here."

She thought that a very generous offer since they really barely knew each other. "Thank you Annabelle," she said sincerely.

She touched her gently on the cheek in a motherly way and smiled in the same loving way, "Open your heart, honey, it'll lead you in the right direction every time."

Amber nodded, appeasing her but had no intention of opening her heart to the possibility of another broken one.

…..

Danny grinned as he picked up his ringing cell phone off the coffee table in his house, seeing the picture of Steve with his long beard.

"Daniel Boone," he said as he answered it. "Are you calling from Oregon finally?"

"Hey Danny," Steve replied, never feeling so nervous to talk to his best friend. "I did make it here and its everything I imagined, lot's of trees and crystal clear rivers. It's beautiful."

"Nice," Danny sighed, picturing it in his mind. "Did you get the package I sent to Ashland?"

He'd forgotten all about it, even when he had driven to that town with Amber. "Oh, um, no, but I don't really need it anymore either."

"Wow, things must be coming along pretty well then if you're not looking forward to a package anymore."

"Actually," Steve began feeling his stomach tighten, "I'm coming home in a couple of days."

Danny sat up and scooted to the end of the couch, shocked over that news. "Really?! Is everything ok? Did you get hurt?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I'm fine. I'm…I…," he staggered and then paused. He wanted to tell him about Amber, but suddenly felt ashamed over their situation. "I'm just ready to come home."

Danny didn't interrogate him on why he was stopping the hike, especially being so close to Canada. It surprised him that Steve off all people would quit but on the other hand he was elated that his friend and partner was coming home. He'd missed him more than he thought he would.

"We're ready for you to come home too," Danny replied.

That felt good.

"Did you miss me Danny," he teased.

"Hell no," he kidded him. "It's been peaceful here and I haven't been shot at once since you've been gone."

Steve laughed over that. "Well get your Kevlar out because I'm ready to come back to work too."

"Oh great," he moaned, "here we go again. I can't wait. Oh hey," he began on a different subject, "how's Amber? Is she out too?"

Steve rubbed his sweaty hand over his thigh, "Um, yea, I think she's done too. We both feel the timing is right." He'd only given Danny bits and pieces of Amber's story, never filling him in on the gruesome details, only that she'd lost her family and was grieving the same as he.

"I have to admit," Danny began, "I was skeptical in the beginning with you taking off on that little adventure."

"Shocking that you were skeptical about something Danielle," Steve teased.

"Ha ha, that was a little funny, but as I was saying," he replied sarcastically, "I was skeptical, but I think you made the right choice and I think you running into Amber was a gift. You changed after you started hiking with her. I could hear it in your voice."

"Really?" Steve asked, surprised over that. "How so?"

"You sounded…more relaxed, like you were enjoying yourself more. Enjoying life again."

"It was nice having a partner again," he admitted.

"Well, I'm glad you're coming home."

"Me too." He felt more at ease and decided to come clean about he and Amber until Danny set him back.

"I need to tell you something, before you get back," Danny sighed.

"What?"

Danny ran his hand over his hair, but knew he should tell him now and not blind side him when he got home. "You know I've been going by the house every couple of weeks to check on things?"

"Yes, thanks for that." He wondered if maybe something had happened to the house and he didn't want to burden him with the details while he was on the hike.

"You're welcome. Everything's fine there. I even mowed."

"I appreciate that," Steve said sincerely, glad it wasn't what he thought, but Danny still hadn't told him what he assumed was going to be bad news.

Danny gripped the back of his neck and squeezed, massaging the tense muscles that had just suddenly appeared.

"Danny?" Steve said quietly into the phone, "just tell me. Whatever it is, I'll deal with it, ok?"

"Alright, here it is. A couple of weeks ago your neighbor called me. I had given him my number in case of an emergency. He said some packages had been delivered."

Steve narrowed his eyes, trying to remember if he had ordered anything, but couldn't recall. "Ok, I don't know. What were they?"

Danny closed his eyes and swallowed down the misery that was engulfing him over having to reveal what they were.

"Danny," Steve huffed, getting impatient with him. "What was it?"

"Baby furniture," he said quietly. "A crib and a bassinet."

Steve felt as if he'd been punched. His mind reeling over what Danny had just told him. Confused over it as well until he calmed and began to understand.

Danny heard silence on the other end, knowing it was going to startle him and probably catch him off guard regardless. It had shocked him as well, not knowing anything about a baby with he and Catherine.

"Steve?"

"Yea, I'm here," he said to him.

"I didn't know what to do with them? I didn't know that you and Catherine…" he paused, feeling his throat close up over the potential secret that Steve had been harboring this whole time since her death, hoping that the furniture was ordered in hopes of getting pregnant and not that she had been when she died.

Steve couldn't let go the irony that he was facing at that very second. Catherine had ordered the furniture and yet Amber was the one that was now carrying his child. It was a painful blow that made him all the more shameful of his situation that he was in with her. The interest of coming home suddenly vanished.

"Maybe I should have told you sooner," Danny said, not sure what to say.

"No," Steve replied quietly, "I'm sorry, Danny. I didn't know Cat had done that. She must have ordered it the day we found out, the day before she was…hit," he paused, feeling sick to his stomach just talking about it.

"Oh god, Steve," Danny moaned, dropping his head to his hand, hearing now the dreadful secret that he had indeed been harboring. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't tell anyone Danny," he said. 'Except for Amber,' he thought guiltily, and for the first time he was angry with her, but not sure why. Her pregnancy was just as much his fault as it was hers, but he felt it nonetheless.

"I understand," Danny replied. "It was between you and Catherine. I'm just sorry that you had to take that on as well." The death of Catherine had been a horrible, tragic situation all around, but he'd had months now to come to grips with it while Steve was gone, but hearing of this new news just triggered a whole new set of sadness that he felt for his best friend, not sure that this would reconcile anytime soon.

"Are you ok?"

He didn't know how to answer that. And now more than ever he didn't know how to tell him about Amber. For the first time since they had walked out of that doctor's office, he wished maybe they hadn't.

"Yea, I'm ok," but his voice wasn't very convincing. "Danny, I need to tell you something."

"Ok."

Steve turned the words over in his head five different ways of how he was going to tell him that not only was Amber coming home with him but the baby furniture that Catherine had ordered would serve a purpose, but for two totally different people. It sounded like the storyline of a tragic play, yet he was living it. There was no delicate way to tell him so in the end he said nothing.

"Never mind."

"You sure? I'm listening."

"Yea, its nothing. I'll text you when I get my flight info, ok?"

"Ok. Do you want me to take that stuff over to my house? Just for now?" Thinking maybe he didn't want to see it at all.

Steve rubbed his hand over his mouth, not wanting to burden him anymore than he already had but not wanting Amber to see it either. "Yes…please, just put it in your garage, and I'll figure it out when I get back."

"Ok, let me know if there's anything else you need?"

"I will. Thanks, Danny."

"Hey," he said before hanging up. "I'm glad you're coming home."

"Yea, me too," he lied.

…..

Annabelle stood outside her running car that was parked on the curb at the Medford, Oregon airport.

Steve stood off to the side after already saying thank you for the ride and goodbye to her.

Amber came up and put her arms around the older woman's neck and hugged her.

Annabelle returned the heartfelt gesture, whispering in her ear. "You have my number honey. Anytime you need to talk to someone you can call me, anytime. You hear?"

Amber nodded, not knowing why it was so hard to leave her, but it was.

She backed away and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Thank you, Annabelle."

The words were simple but the expression in her eyes spoke of how much she really was thankful, "You remember what I said about you and the baby," she replied.

Amber nodded again, backing up toward Steve. "I'll call you, I promise."

"You have a safe flight."

She got back in her car and tooted the horn as she drove off.

Amber watched her until she disappeared around the bend and then turned to Steve. His expression a little perplexed over the closeness between the two women, not realizing Amber's attachment to Annabelle after only a few days.

"You ok?" he asked, wanting to ask her though what the old lady meant by 'you remember what I said about you and the baby', wondering what that was?

"Yes." She came and stood next to him. "I'm going to miss her."

Steve tilted his head, still confused over that, "You just met her. You barely know her."

"I know, but she was there for me and just had a way of saying all the right things."

"Like what?"

Amber shrugged, "Just women stuff."

"Hmm," Steve acknowledged her reply but left it at that, not sure he wanted to know. He glanced at his watch, "Our flight leaves in about thirty minutes. We better get checked in."

Amber picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, following him into the small airport terminal. "So we fly to Portland, and then to Hawaii?"

"Yes."

"Are we sitting together?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her, "Of course. Why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know. The tickets were kind of last minute so I wasn't sure we were." She asked not because they bought the tickets at the last minute, but because she had sensed something different about him all morning before they had left for the airport and then knew fore sure something was off during the hour and a half car ride. He'd barely said a word, spending most of the time glued to his phone or staring out the window while she sat in the front seat with Annabelle. She'd tried to engage him in conversations but he seemed less than enthused, giving one-word answers.

They checked their backpacks in and went to the gate, having a few more minutes before boarding.

They sat down next to the door that led out to the tarmac where they would board the smaller jet for the quick forty-five minute flight to Portland.

"That's a pretty small plane," Amber said, trying to strike up a conversation as Steve pulled out his phone once again.

"Yep," he replied without even looking up as he scanned through his emails.

"I'm not a big fan of flying," she added.

He said nothing, but moved from his emails to latest texts.

Amber stood up and crossed her arms, glaring down at him. "Look, if you want out of this thing, just say so! I can call Annabelle and she can turn around and pick me up!"

Steve looked up, startled over her outburst, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you," she replied angrily, "Do you want out? Because you're sure acting like it."

"Keep your voice down," he whispered loudly as he stood up.

"I will not! I want to know right now before I get on that plane!"

He looked at the anger in her eyes as she stared at him, knowing she had a right to ask, he had been acting differently.

She saw the guilt all over him as he sat back down, feeling her heart begin to race over the fact that maybe he did want out.

"I'm sorry, Amber," he said with a sigh.

For the first time since being pregnant, she felt sick.

"So you do want out," she whimpered.

He looked up at her, "What?! No!" he stood back up again, taking ahold of her elbow. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean I'm sorry for being…I don't know for being pissed I guess. I don't know, Amber, I'm sorry. It's not your fault." He sat back down again.

She sat next to him, "Why are you mad? Did I do something to make you mad?"

"No, its not you. It's just all of it. I'm nervous about going home."

"Oh," she replied softly, her anger quickly dissolved.

She had been so consumed about what it would be like for her to go back to Indiana in her condition that she never thought for a second what it would be like for Steve, bringing her home in her condition, especially so soon after his wife's death.

"We don't have to tell anyone about the baby," she suggested, not liking that idea but if it would help him, she'd do it.

"Its not something we can really hide."

"I know, but we don't have to advertise it either. Maybe it would be best if I found someplace else to live."

He had another golden opportunity to make that happen but once again he denied himself the chance. It was his responsibly to keep her and the baby safe until it was born. He wondered where his responsibly to Amber ended though, knowing the baby would be his number one priority for the rest of his life.

"It would be too expensive for you to live anywhere else. We need to save some money."

"I can get a job," she offered up.

"In your condition?" he chuckled.

Amber rolled her eyes at him, "I'm pregnant. I'm still very capable of walking and talking," she joked. "I've been through this before. I know what my limitations are and working isn't one of them."

Steve smiled, pleased that she was willing to help out that way. "Lets just get there and see how it goes. We'll play it by ear."

"One day at a time, right?" she added, using their hiking quote as motivation. "Can we still get up every morning and plan our daily strategy over a cup of coffee?"

And there she suddenly appeared, the Amber he'd been hiking with for over four months. In all the excitement and stress of the baby over the past couple of days, he'd lost track of the woman who was sitting next to him, until that very moment. It was familiar and extremely comforting when he let go the problems and just focused on her.

"I could put the tents up out back to get the real ambiance," he joked.

Amber laughed, "I like that idea, but I'm not boiling the water for the coffee or breakfast."

"What?" Steve teased, "You mean we can't have freeze dried oatmeal anymore?"

"Oh my god," Amber groaned, "I don't think I could even eat an oatmeal cookie ever again."

Steve laughed, reaching over and taking her hand, patting the top of it; "I promise I'll throw out all the oatmeal in the house when we get home."

She liked the way he phrased that, 'when we get home'. She was afraid of being a stranger in his home, but as she sat next to him the camaraderie they had shared over the past four months outweighed the fear of the unknown, the same as it had on the trail.

They both looked up, hearing the announcement over the intercom for them to board.

"One day at a time," she repeated.

Steve nodded, "We got this, Amber. It'll be fine. Hell if we can overcome an avalanche and come out unscathed, then we can take on anything."

She laughed over that, finding the truth in that as well.

They both stood up, making their way toward the door that led to the plane.

"I want you to feel comfortable in my home, Amber. There won't be anything off limits to you."

She smiled, feeling relieved over that, "Thank you. Are you going to keep the beard as a souvenir?" she said, touching the ends of it that were about two inches past his chin.

He grinned, running his hand over it. "It's too hot there and I think Danny would find ways to tease me relentlessly over it," he chuckled.

"I can't wait to meet him in person," she said, assuming he had told Danny of all people that she was coming. "I'm anxious to hear some Steve stories."

Steve forced a smile and nodded, "He has plenty of those. You'll like him. He's a good guy." He felt a stab in his gut over the fact that he'd yet to tell Danny about Amber coming home with him, or even about the baby. And no he had led her to believe that Danny knew of her arrival as well, which he didn't.

They were both going to be blind-sided, but it was too late now. They were already headed in that direction.