"Harleigh, baby lunch is ready will you go tell Adam." Kim instructed Harleigh, she then strapped Diesel into the high hair and quickly fed him his baby food, that way she could give him his bottle and then get him down for a nap.
Within a few minutes both Adam and Harleigh sat at the table, eating in silence.
"I just put Diesel down, he should sleep for a good bit." Kim had taken to broadcasting what she was doing to break up the silence. She was never one that needed to to talk but the level of quiet in the house was often unsettling.
"Can we play a game after we eat?" Harleigh asked as she kneeled in her chair her arms resting on the table, she was hit with a sudden burst of excitement and inadvertently sent Kim's glass crashing to the floor.
The sound of the shattering glass scared Adam, "Fuck! Harleigh you've got to be careful, son of a bitch" his heart raced and he broke out into a cold sweat his hands trembled. He was taken aback by how badly it startled him.
"Adam!" Kim was furious with him, Harleigh instantly started to cry and ran from the table.
"I'm sorry." Adam tossed his napkin on the table, "I'm sorry alright?" He felt like shit, he was absolutely miserable and felt that any progress he had made since being released from jail had been wiped away since moving to the safe house.
Kim pushed back from the table, "I'm not the one you need to apologize to. That was uncalled for, it was an accident Adam. You scared her."
She ignored Adam's response and went after Harleigh.
Harleigh was laying face down on her bed, her little body raked with sobs.
"Harleigh honey, are you okay?" Kim asked tenderly.
"He yelled!" Harleigh sobbed into her pillow, "I didn't mean to spill it. I bumped it. I didn't mean to!"
"I know you didn't. It was an accident." Kim opened her arms to her and Harleigh threw herself at Kim, "it's okay, please don't cry."
Adam paced the living room, he was a train wreck. Being in this house, unable to leave it was like being in prison all over again and it was draining the life out of him. He had been feeling it for awhile now and Harleigh knocking the glass over the table had pushed him over the edge.
He hated that he yelled at the kid, but in that moment he was in prison again and it rattled him. He was lost in flashbacks of being in the mess hall, the sounds of the metal cups rattling on the floor, the metal trays clapping against the table. He could hear the raucous screams of the other inmates.
The first time he had been attacked it was in the mess hall, he never even saw it coming. He was keeping his head down to avoid conflict when he took the tray to the side of his face, it busted his face open just below his eye. He was jumped by four or five guys, and it had been a nasty beat down. He was left with ten stitches, a broken cheekbone, and bruised ribs. The guards had taken their sweet as time in getting their as well. It wasn't the only time he had been attacked but it had been the worst.
Kim held Harleigh until she stopped crying, her little body still shook with sobs as her breathing returned to normal and before long she fell asleep.
Kim carefully maneuvered her onto the bed without waking her, she draped a blanket over her and kissed her head softly before leaving.
Adam sat with his head in his hands, Kim felt for him but her anger erased whatever sympathy she had for him, he had blown up on Harleigh and it was uncalled for. She knew he was struggling with his own demons but she didn't like that Harleigh took the brunt of his rage.
"Adam.." Kim leaned against the doorway, "we need to talk."
Adam looked up at her, and the look on his face shocked Kim. She knew he had been struggling but in that moment she got it, it wasn't much but something in his eyes just how troubled he was. Adam knew immediately that she had recognized it, and that she wouldn't rest until he talked. He couldn't put it off any longer "Is Harleigh alright?" He asked her.
"She's sleeping. She was terrified, you scared her. You shouldn't have yelled. She's just a little girl, Adam." Kim had been rattled by the look in Adam's eyes and knew she didn't need to tell him how upset Harleigh was but she couldn't stop herself from rambling.
Adam stood up from the couch, "I know. I just lost it! I hate that I scared her." He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep Kim from seeing how badly they were shaking, "It scared me..."
"Scared you? It was a glass breaking Adam, that's hardly scary." Kim replied.
Adam scowled, "You've never been on the inside. Kim, you don't know what it's like.." he could see it on her face, Kim was starting to connect the dots, "..it brought me back there. Being in this house is fucking with me!"
Kim was finally starting to understand what he was going through, "You're not in prison Adam. You're safe in this house."
"We can't go outside. We are stuck here! It's playing with my head!" Adam kept his voice down but the anger was evident in his voice, he was so angry that even his body language was filled with rage, "I can't take it! I need to get out of here. I need this case to end!"
Kim could see him unraveling, she went to him and took hold of his hands pulling them from his pockets, they were clammy and shaking uncontrollably "Look at me, Adam." She repeated herself when he didn't lift his eyes, "Look at me..you need to breathe. You aren't in prison. You're safe. I've got you Adam."
Adam did as she told him, and slowly he felt the waves of panic and fear begin to taper off, his breathing was still a bit ragged but he was slowly regaining his composure, "I'm sorry. This is hard, Kim. I'm really trying."
Kim dropped his hands and took hold of his face, "I know you are, but you need to let us in. I know it's eating away at you, it has been from the start. I feel like I put all of this into motion when I ended our engagement. It's been one nightmare after the next, we lost Al, I lost Blair, and then I lost you. I lost you to Hailey, then I lost you to prison. I've got you back now, and I promise you I won't let you go."
Adam's shoulders slumped and he lost it, he was a broken man and it absolutely destroyed Kim, she caught him as his kneels buckled and he gave into his emotions and let it all go, all of his hurt, anger, torment, all of his heartbreak came pouring out of him in the living room of a random house in the suburbs. Adam Ruzek finally broke.
Kim held on tightly as he cried in her arms.
Hank hung up the phone and exited his office, "We just caught a break. A buddy of mine just called, he has the kids mother. Halstead, Upton you need to go pick her up and bring her back here." He told them all, "It's time to end this."