Disclaimer: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. I own nothing.
Olivia awoke the next morning, and realized that she was in the living room. Immediately, she was embarrassed, because that meant she had likely fallen asleep on Elliot's shoulder. It was then that she felt the blanket that covered her and the pillow beneath her head. Knowing where they had come from, she raised herself to a sitting position.
It was no real surprise then to see Elliot's sleeping form on the other sofa. Still, a sense of warmth filled her and touched her heart. Just as she had spent so many nights sleeping out in the living room with him, he had done the same for her. He hadn't pressured her to talk last night, either - just sat by quietly offering silent support, but always willing to listen.
Though the last thing she had wanted to to was disturb him, Elliot stirred when she pushed the covers back and stood up. His eyes opened and immediately sought her out. Instead of asking her how she was, which was what she'd been dreading, he simply treated it as if it were a normal morning between them.
"Morning, Liv. Did you sleep okay?"
"I did. I was just about to put on some coffee, would you like some?"
He graced her with a smile then, and she knew he was about to say something smart.
"Is it still a day of the week that ends in 'y'?"
Trying to hide her grin, she answered him.
"Yes."
"Good, I was worried. Of course I'll have some. You should know better than to ask."
Shaking her head, Olivia padded toward the kitchen to start a pot of coffee brewing. Then she disappeared into her bedroom. They met in the kitchen not long after, both of them dressed for the day. Since it was Saturday, it surprised Elliot to see Olivia dressed for work. Her badge and gun were seated on her hip, so there was no mistaking her intentions. He had planned on asking her to join him and the kids today. Trying to find a diplomatic way of asking her about it, he finally came up with one.
"Did you get called in this morning, Liv? Is that why you're going in today? I thought you had this weekend off."
Olivia paused in drinking her coffee, shaking her head slightly.
"No, El. I wasn't called in. This week was just so crazy, I need to get caught up with some paperwork. I'll be home all day tomorrow."
Her answer flooded Elliot with relief. He had been worried she was pushing herself too hard in light of everything that had happened - that she was taking on extra shifts in order to make up for the case that had recently resurfaced, in an attempt to do penance. Not that he'd blame her, it's the same thing he would have done if he were still on the job. Realizing he was getting lost in his thoughts, he tried to stay grounded in the present.
"I'll miss you today, Liv. I was going to ask if you wanted to join me and the kids. Maybe next weekend?"
To his surprise, Olivia didn't refuse. Instead, she simply said she'd have to see whether or not she would be on call. Elliot was impressed. He still wanted to check in with her in the worst way, but it would have to wait until later. She had her 'game face' on now, and the only answer she would likely give him is that she was 'fine'. Instead, he offered to make her breakfast before she left.
"No, thanks El."
He followed her to the door then, and held her leather jacket for her as she slipped it on. Then they embraced, and made plans to have dinner together later that night. Olivia slipped out the door, closing it softly behind her.
Grabbing his phone, Elliot sent a text to Kathleen. He wanted her to know it wasn't necessary for her to bring Eli to Olivia's apartment today. He was going to go and get the boy himself. Enough time had passed. If Kathy wasn't going to talk to him, he would go and talk to her. He may not be back to his old self completely yet, but he felt strong enough to handle it. Anything would be better than not knowing.
Elliot made the drive to Queens, fighting back the emotions that were trying to resurface. They all were connected to the last time he'd left the house, and the way he'd felt that day. Doubt began to fill him. Maybe it was too soon. The last thing he wanted was to go backward.
As quickly as they'd come, the memories were gone. They were replaced with others. Memories of his children as they had grown. Their first steps, their first words. Holidays and birthdays, all spent together as a family. When he pulled into the driveway, Elliot was feeling grounded again.
He was standing on the walkway trying to figure out what he should do next. Should he use his key? Knock on the door to his own house? A voice from behind him interrupted his thoughts.
"Dad!"
Elliot turned to see Kathleen come jogging up the driveway. It was clear from her attire that she'd been out on a brief run. Not caring in the slightest, he enveloped his daughter in a hug.
"Hey, sweetie."
"What are you doing just standing out here? Come on into the house."
Pulling him along behind her, she led the way around and through the back door into the kitchen. Helping herself to a bottle of water from the fridge, she uncapped it and took a long drink. Then she called out at the top of her lungs.
"Dad's here!"
Chaos ensued as thundering footsteps were heard on the stairs. The twins soon appeared in the kitchen, and headed straight for their father. Maureen was right behind them.
They had just separated from their group hug when Kathy stood in the entrance to the kitchen, holding Eli.
"Elliot? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
Her voice was laced with a mixture of confusion and concern. Before she could get an answer to her questions, though, the toddler in her arms was eager to see his father. Stepping closer so Elliot could hold his youngest, she passed the boy over to him. After several minutes, Elliot handed Eli over to Maureen.
"We'll take him upstairs, Dad, and get him ready. Just send me a text when you're ready to leave."
Elliot agreed, grateful that his children realized he wanted some time alone with their mother.
"Can you sit and talk with me for a few minutes Kathy? Please?"
As he spoke, Elliot gestured to the kitchen table, as though silently pleading with her in another way to sit down. Though the look on her face was hesitant, she ultimately nodded and acquiesced to his wishes. Still, he noticed that instead of sitting right next to him as he'd hoped, she took a seat on the opposite end of the table.
Drawing on the communication skills he'd learned over his time in therapy with Dr. Simpson, as well as the weeks he'd spent in the Partial program, he tried to talk to his wife without casting blame. Even if there was a part of him that was angry with her.
"I've been hoping you would talk to me. We haven't spoken since our joint day in therapy. I feel like you're avoiding me, Kath."
His statements were so clear and concise, so devoid of anger and accusation. It made Kathy feel even more guilty than she already did. She had been avoiding him. She'd been trying to run from what he'd said to her that day. Not because she was angry – but because he'd spoken the truth. She did have a history of running when times got difficult. She supposed she had just been doing it again.
"I'm sorry Elliot. You were right that day. I've only been proving just how right you were, but I couldn't bring myself to face you."
He reached his hand toward her then, seeking contact. A feeling that could only be described as relief surged through him when she took it. He still didn't know what their future would be, but the last thing he wanted was for them to develop an acrimonious relationship. They had a long history together. Moreover, she was the mother of his children.
"I'd really like it if you would come back with me for another therapy session, Kathy. I promise it would just be you and me this time."
Kathy took a moment too long in answering, and he sensed her hesitation. His hopes began to sink.
"I don't know Elliot. The last thing I want is to interfere with your treatment. I can see how far you've come."
"But, Kathy -"
She held up her hand to stop him.
"But nothing. You haven't been able to set foot in this house in weeks. The kids tell me you're starting to take them out places now. It's not me who's helping you do that, Elliot."
She swiped at her eyes, brushing away tears that were brimming and threatening to fall. Then she took his hand in hers once more.
"You're doing it on your own, Elliot. You are why you're getting better. I know Olivia is a big part of it, too."
Again, Elliot tried to interrupt, only to be dissuaded by Kathy.
"Don't deny it. I'm not angry, I'm more grateful to her than I can possibly say. I know that if not for her, there is a very real possibility that you might not be here."
He squeezed her hand again, acknowledging without words that she was right.
"You still don't want to make any decisions right now, right?"
As strong as he'd managed to stay throughout their entire conversation, the fear and anxiety was now evident in his voice. The last thing he wanted today was to deal with a discussion about an impending separation or divorce, even if they were technically already separated.
"No, Elliot. No decisions just yet."
He stood then, and gestured in the general vicinity of the upstairs.
"If it's all right with you, I'm going to get some more of my things to keep with me at Olivia's. I'm tired of wearing the same things over and over."
"You don't need to ask my permission, Elliot. This is still your home."
He walked over to her then, and Kathy stood. They embraced then, for the first time since before their joint appointment all those weeks ago. They held tightly to one another, as if both were afraid of letting go. When they finally did let go, they shared a look filled with complete understanding. Whatever was changing between them right now, didn't change the mutual love and respect they had for one another.
Olivia was at the sixteenth precinct, trying and failing to concentrate on the pile of paperwork that sat on her desk. Maybe she should have listened to Cragen's advice and taken today off after all. She had just been trying to prove to herself and everyone else that she could still do her job. That she was a capable and skilled detective, worthy of the titles and accolades that had been bestowed on her over the years.
Fin, who had been ever perceptive of Olivia over the past months since Elliot's departure from the unit, had been watching her closely. He knew that the past few weeks – the past month – had been hell for her. Two close calls on the job, her brother coming back, now this case from her past resurfacing. Those were just the things in her life that he knew about. There was something else going on behind the scenes that she was dealing with too. He made up his mind to try again to get her to talk to him.
"Liv."
Olivia lifted her head and turned it in Fin's direction. She didn't speak, but raised her eyebrows in a silent question.
"It's quiet today. I know Cap won't care if we duck out for an hour or so to grab some lunch. What do you say? My treat."
Before Olivia had a chance to answer, another voice chimed in. It was Munch, who had walked in on their conversation, and didn't want to be excluded.
"Thanks a lot, partner. What am I, chopped liver?"
Frustrated, but not completely deterred, Fin pressed on.
"I wasn't asking you, Old Man, but if you want, I'll treat you, too. One condition – Olivia has to come."
Now, it seemed that Munch had finally caught on. He, too, tried to encourage Olivia to join them.
"Please, Olivia, join us. Don't be the reason I have to go hungry."
Shaking her head and expelling a laugh on an exhale of breath, Olivia finally agreed. It also reminded her that she had yet to talk with the two men about Elliot, and invite them over one night. Perhaps today would be a good day for that.
Ten minutes later, the three of them were seated at a diner not far from the station. Cragen had given them permission to leave under two conditions – they keep their phones on, and they bring him back something to eat. Now, their orders had been placed, and Fin took the opportunity to check in with the woman who he cared for and admired greatly.
"So, talk to me Liv, and I don't want to hear some bullshit about how you're 'fine'. How are you doing, really?"
Olivia took a sip of her iced tea, contemplating her answer. She wouldn't lie, not to Fin. These men were like family to her. She knew she could trust them with anything.
"Things haven't been easy, Fin, but I'm managing."
Before he could argue, she hurried on to continue.
"There has been more going on than either of you know about, though. I wasn't able to say anything until recently, though. Please don't think I was hiding it from you intentionally."
Both men exchanged a look, then directed their attention back to her. Nodding, they indicated she should continue.
"A little over a month ago, Elliot showed up on my doorstep."
That was all Fin needed to hear. Concern took over before Olivia could continue her explanation.
"He didn't upset you did he? I know you tried for the longest time to reach him. I didn't think he'd been in touch."
"He hasn't been. That was the first I'd seen or heard from him since that day at the precinct."
There was no need to clarify what day she was talking about, it was indelibly imprinted in each of their minds. Olivia continued to relate what it was that brought Elliot to her door, and his state of mind that early morning more than a month ago.
The looks of worry on her coworkers faces morphed into relief as she explained that Elliot had been in treatment since that time, and was improving daily. That he had given permission for her to tell them about him, and he even wanted to see them – if they wanted to see him, that is. Again, it was Fin who spoke up.
"Of course we want to see him, Liv. Just say when and where. If he's still not comfortable going out, we'll come over to your place."
Munch readily agreed. Olivia realized that the situation likely brought back memories of what had happened when he had lost his father. Still she knew he would do everything to support Elliot.
"Let me talk with Elliot tonight when I get home, and we'll make plans. I know the Captain wants to see him, too."
Olivia felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and likewise, Munch and Fin felt relief in knowing that she was mostly all right. She hadn't been struggling for herself, but because she had been protecting her partner. Picking up the Captain's take out order, they paid their bills and headed back to the station.
Elliot was driving back to Manhattan after dropping his children off at the house in Queens. Like the previous weekend, they'd spent their time together by going out to eat and seeing a movie. The rainy weather had made any outdoor activities near impossible. The following weekend though, Elliot was going to take Eli to the zoo. All of his other children had plans, so it would just be him and his youngest. Olivia too, if she decided to join them. He fervently hoped that she would.
When he got back to Olivia's, he grabbed the bag he had packed for himself at the house and carried it upstairs. As he was letting himself into the apartment, his cell phone rang. Not bothering to check the display first, he simply answered the call.
"Hello?"
"Hey El. It's me."
He felt the smile forming the instant he heard Olivia's voice. Figuring she was calling to let him know something had come up at work, he began to envision their dinner plans fading away. A night alone in the apartment was likely what awaited him. To his surprise, it was anything but that.
"So, I talked with Fin and John today at lunch. I told them everything. They both want to see you – so does Cragen. If it's all right with you, I was going to invite everyone over tonight."
It took Elliot a moment to absorb what she was saying. He wasn't upset by it in any way, he just couldn't believe that he'd be reunited with all his former friends and coworkers again.
"That's fine, Liv. More than fine. Did you want me to make something for dinner?"
"No need, El. We can just order something in. But, if you wouldn't mind running out and grabbing some sodas? I don't think we have enough to drink."
He started to nod, then realized she couldn't see him.
"I can do that Liv. Do you think you'll be home at around the usual time?"
"If we're lucky. It's been pretty quiet here so far today, so we stand a chance. I'll text you when we leave."
They said their goodbyes then, and Elliot hung up. Pushing his bag to the side, he was relieved he hadn't yet taken off his coat or his shoes. Picking his keys up again, he headed back out the door. Olivia may have only asked him to get some sodas, but he was going to get a six pack of beer, too. Just because he wasn't drinking didn't mean that Fin or John might not like one.
A couple of hours later, he was dozing lightly on the sofa when the chiming of his phone woke him up. It was Olivia again, letting him know that she and the guys were on their way. Since he had yet to clean up from this morning, he quickly took the pillows and blankets that were still in the living room back into his bedroom. Exhaling a breath, he silently instructed himself to calm down.
When he heard the sound of keys in the lock, he stood and headed over by the door. Naturally, Olivia entered first. They embraced one another as had become their new habit to do so. Fin was the next one to step through. He and Elliot eyed one another, then the other man extended his hand. Elliot took it gratefully. The handshake lasted for only a few moments before morphing into a one armed hug and pat on the back from both men.
Fin stepped aside so John could enter, and the same ritual ensued. When Cragen came into the apartment though, there was no half hug. He embraced Elliot fully, as a father would his son.
The reunion was intense, and emotions were running high among everyone. It was Olivia who finally cleared the air.
"Please, come in and make yourselves comfortable. Elliot, if you will get the take-out menus, we can decide what we want to eat."
She excused herself for a moment, then stepped into her bedroom to lock away her gun and badge. In her absence, Elliot not only retrieved the menus, but got drinks for everyone. Just as he'd predicted, Fin accepted a beer, as did John. Cragen asked for a soda, and he poured iced tea for himself and Olivia.
"We had beer?"
Olivia's tone as she returns to the room is full of surprise, and she looks to Elliot, her eyes full of questions.
"I picked up a six pack earlier when I was out getting the sodas. I figured they would come in handy."
"Thanks, El. I can't believe I didn't even think of that."
Before he had the chance, it was John who spoke up to calm her nerves.
"Relax, Liv. Even if you hadn't had anything here, we still would have come. We're here for you and Elliot, not to raid your fridge."
Cragen cleared his throat then, and suggested that they order. It wasn't that he didn't want to know more about what was going on with Elliot, but he wanted to make sure everyone was comfortable first. The small group studied the menus, and ultimately decided on pizza. With surprisingly few arguments, they came to an agreement on toppings. Olivia called and placed the order.
With that settled, conversation came to a bit of a standstill. Elliot sought Olivia's gaze from across the room and found his resolve in her brown eyes. Nodding once, he let her know he was ready. Then he began to speak.
"I want to apologize to all of you for leaving the way I did. We've all worked together for a long time, and you all deserved better."
He licked his lips then, and continued.
"I know you must have a ton of questions, and I'm not going to hide from them. If you want to ask me something, please, ask me."
Silence fell over the room after Elliot's statement. In the end, it was Cragen who broke it.
"I appreciate the apology, son, but you don't owe us anything. You did nothing wrong."
He lifted his hand, then put it down again. It was as if he wasn't sure what to do.
"I'm the one who is sorry. If I would have had any idea how dark a place you were in, I would have tried to intervene. I'm just so incredibly grateful that you came to Olivia when you did. We wouldn't have wanted to lose you."
Elliot thanked him, swallowing down a lump in his throat. Though he'd anticipated questions, he hadn't expected things to get quite so emotional so soon. He felt saved instantly when Olivia's buzzer went off, signaling that their food had arrived.
Though Elliot and Olivia were quite prepared to pay for dinner, since they were hosting, Cragen announced it was his treat. He headed to the door to pay the delivery man. Carrying the boxes inside, he set them on the coffee table. Olivia recovered enough to go and get the paper plates and napkins, while Elliot replenished everyone's drinks.
As they ate, the topic of conversation drifted away from Elliot and his recovery. Soon, they were talking about work and life at the 1-6. Laughs and memories were shared among the group as they recalled some of the more outrageous and memorable cases.
Around a mouthful of pizza, Fin asked Munch if he remembered the guy with all the Q-tips. Olivia laughed then, because she knew where this was headed. Elliot however, was confused.
"Where was I during all this?"
"At home recuperating because you'd been thrown through a glass window by a guy high on PCP"
Realization dawned on him then as he remembered. He'd gotten a bad cut on his arm then, that had come close to severing a few nerves as well. Olivia had gone with him to the emergency room, stayed with him while he'd gotten stitches. He shivered then, remembering the near tragedy that had followed.
"That was when you were poisoned, Olivia. Even though they said you were going to be fine, it was so scary to see you in the hospital like that. Your oxygen levels took several hours to stabilize."
Olivia dropped the slice she was holding down to her plate. Of course she remembered that. She'd been overtaken by noxious fumes when questioning Diego and his mother Jennifer about a possible child pornography issue. After getting the two of them out of the apartment, and telling everyone else to evacuate the building, she'd collapsed. But how could Elliot have known such intricate details of her hospital stay? He was supposed to have been at home resting from his own injuries.
"How did you know all that, El?"
"My partner was in the hospital, Liv. I couldn't stay away. You didn't know I was there, but I was there. I stayed by your side most of the night and watched you sleep."
He took her hand then, not caring that they were being watched.
"You and so many others could have been killed had you not acted so quickly. So many of those children still have lasting consequences because of that company's involvement. You never once thought about getting justice for yourself."
She squeezed his hand then, thanking him silently. She couldn't argue with his reasoning. She knew, had their positions been reversed, she would have done the same thing. Even if it had meant she would have had to battle Kathy to be by his side. She recalled the time Elliot had been temporarily blinded by Saul Picard. Then, she and Kathy had actually worked together, and sat on opposite sides of Elliot's bed, keeping vigil.
Sensing the mood was getting too heavy, John switched the discussion to a lighter topic. They spent the next hour talking about happier things.
Soon, the pizza had all but disappeared, and everyone's drinks were drained dry. Though Olivia offered, the men refused to have any more. They all insisted it was time for them to leave. However, they did say that they should all get together again soon. Elliot was the first to agree that he liked that idea.
Cragen, Fin, and Munch all offered to help clean up the mess, but Elliot and Olivia insisted they could handle it. The men stood to go, and said their goodbyes. When it was just the two of them again, Elliot wrapped his arms around Olivia, pulling her into an embrace. He turned his head to the side, brushing his lips against her temple.
"Thanks, Liv."
There was more he wanted to talk with her about, like the conversation he'd had with Kathy today. That could wait until tomorrow. For tonight, he just wanted to relax and enjoy the company of his best friend.
Quietly, they cleaned up the empty boxes, plates, and cups and threw everything away. Elliot took out the garbage, then returned to the apartment.
Much later, before they were getting ready to go to bed, Elliot turned to Olivia. He'd picked up the gift card for her today, but wanted to wait until tomorrow to give it to her. He wanted to make it special.
"Olivia? I know you probably wanted to sleep in and rest tomorrow, but I'd like to take you out for breakfast."
"That sounds great, El. You know me well enough that I don't sleep that late, even on my day off. Why don't we leave here at nine?"
He agreed on the time, and told her good night, but not without giving her a hug. Thanking her again for bringing his friends back into his life, he pressed his lips to her forehead once more. It wasn't lost on him that she was likely still battling with her own struggles, but she was taking care of him. Tomorrow he'd make sure she would do something to take care of herself.