Max and Laura were both on their second glass by the time Myrtle barged into Laura's apartment. "Oh, Lord!" she exclaimed. "My back is killin' me! My feet are killin' me! My whole body is killin' me, and for some reason, I can't drink!" She plopped down roughly in the chair beside Laura without so much as a hello.

Laura raised her eyebrows at Max as they both glanced sideways at her protruding belly. "Well, yeah, Girl. That's what happens when you have unprotected sex."

Max stifled a laugh as Myrtle glared at Laura. "Laura, I am not in the mood for this," she said flatly.

"Well, you don't have to stay," Max shrugged before Laura stepped hard on her foot. "Ow!"

Myrtle glared at Max. "Watch yourself, Man Thief."

Max chuckled. "I'm sorry, Myrtle. I don't mean to be short. I just… I'm kinda freaked out by staring at my future," she explained, gesturing to the baby in the very large, six-months-along bump.

Laura nodded at Max sympathetically. "Girl, me too."

"You're our first friend to go through this," Max added.

Myrtle relaxed slightly. "Yeah, well… Get used to it, because I need my girlfriends now more than ever," she said, grabbing their hands.

Laura squeezed her hand. "You're almost there, Honey," she promised.

Myrtle frowned. "Oh, sure. I'm almost past this part and onto the part where an alien tries to rip me apart as some quack pulls it out through my coochie with no support from my dead mama or my traitor of a father."

"But you'll have Eric," Max reminded her.

"Sure," Myrtle shrugged, "if he doesn't run for the hills before we get that far. Ladies, y'all need to prepare yourselves because pregnancy… is disgusting."

"Myrtle, c'mon," Laura frowned, trying to reassure herself more so than her cousin-in-law. "It's the miracle of life!"

Myrtle glared at her. "Some miracle! I know God is a man because no sista would do this to womankind!"

"It's been that bad?" Max asked.

"I toot more often and louder than a steamboat!" Myrtle whispered harshly. "The other night, Eric and I were… makin' whoopee, and I swear everytime he rammed his hips into me, my gas tank tried to blow him back off the bed! What man wants to stick around for that?"

Laura cringed as she thought about doing that while making love to Steve.

"But that's been goin' on for months! The new horror in my life we just discovered last night. Eric was sucklin' on my udders like I like, and something came out!" she whined.

Max furrowed her brow. "Well, yeah, Myrtle. Your body's gonna start makin' milk for the baby."

Myrtle shook her head gravely. "This wasn't the titty juice we're all used to, Darlin'. This was yellowish and so, so thick. It looked like a banana smoothie. Right into his mouth!"

Laura gagged a little in her mouth and tried to cover it up with a cough. She took a big swig of her wine.

"Apparently it's called colostrum. It's what comes in before your breast milk. It's all the baby needs for the first few days. And everyday I have to do these pelvic floor exercises because I pee a little bit every time I sneeze!"

Laura quickly finished her glass of wine and poured another. "Really?" she squeaked as she poured. Max quickly took the bottle from her and topped her glass off