Chapter 13

"I'm sorry, what?" Natasha stared at Laura. "Did you just say that you and the kids are celebrating Christmas this year in Florida?!"

"Yes." Laura answered calmly, taking a sip from her chai latte.

They had met for their lunch break at Stan's and Laura had just told her that the whole Barton family would not be in New York but be in Florida during Christmas.

"We're sick of the cold and it's not even snowing! What's the point of freezing your ass off without any snow? My parents invited us and the kids freaked out when they threw in a visit to Disney World and that Harry Potter thing. Even Cooper."

"So, we're not going to celebrate Christmas together." Natasha couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice. It was probably great for the kids to spend Christmas with their grandparents and Micky Mouse, but she'd always celebrated Christmas with the Bartons. James always celebrated Christmas with them. And who wants to spend Christmas in fucking Florida?! With all those alligators and crazy criminals? One of Darcy's favorite things was to google Florida man and a random date to see what batshit crazy crime happened on that day.

"I'm sorry, Nat." Laura gave her a rueful smile. "You know that we love you and James, but we just...we need this. Christmas without Clint is...It's hard and the kids are finally excited for Christmas again."

Shit, she didn't want to make Laura feel guilty about that. She was a mother and she had to do what was right for her kids.

"No, I get it. I really do, Laura. Don't worry."

"You and James can come with us." She offered. "The more the merrier."

"That's sweet, but I think we'll stay here."

First Pepper and now Laura who cancelled on Christmas. Natasha almost thought that they were doing it on purpose, but she knew better. The European branch of SI had some problems that needed Pepper's expertise and she' decided to spend the rest of December with Morgan in London. Pepper had some family in England so it made sense. And Natasha knew that Laura secretly dreaded Christmas because it made Clint's absence so much more present.

Now Christmas would only be her, James, Steve, and hopefully Bucky and Wanda. But both were on duty and could be called in for a job. Sam always spent Christmas with his family and Bruce wasn't a big fan of the holidays.

Oh God, they would spend most of Christmas alone with Steve. Things were already awkward enough after the kiss and James's new hobby seemed to be to point at random objects, claiming they were mistletoe and trying to make his parents kiss. She'd showed her son a photo of actual mistletoe and didn't butch anymore when he wanted them to kiss. She loved her son, but some things were too much.

"How's Steve by the way? It was so nice of him to take Lila and Nate to a hockey game. They loved it."

"He's good. He's looking forward to his art classes next year." Natasha knew her smile was a bit forced. Steve was doing great, but he also always looked at her like he wanted to kiss her again. And it honestly confused her more than it irritated her. The kiss had been good and it'd reminded her of the other things they'd done and...well, Steve had been the last man she kissed and slept with and...She was only human after all.

"He seems more relaxed and happier now that he's taken a sabbatical."

Natasha nodded. "Yeah, he didn't want to be away from James anymore." And me. "He has more time for James now and they both enjoy it."

"That's great." Laura smiled. "I'm happy for them. And James is so proud that he has a dad now."

"Yeah, I know." Natasha laughed. James had told all their friends, more than once, that Steve was his father.

"And you're okay? With everything? You had James to yourself for two years. I could imagine that it's weird to share that with someone now."

"It's not. Surprisingly. Steve is always very respectful about my relationship to James and it...it feels natural to have him in the picture now."

"I'm glad to hear that." Laura said. "And everything else is okay as well? Does he still have feelings for you or were you right and he was just projecting?"

Natasha's mind went back to the kiss and how he'd looked at her after they pulled apart. His eyes had been so soft, his gaze had been almost...loving.

"Oh my god, what?" Laura's eyes went wide. "You just had a look on your face. What was that about?"

"Nothing!" Natasha said too quickly. Shit.

Laura raised an eyebrow.

"We...we kissed." Laura's eyes were as big as saucers. "James thought he saw mistletoe and wanted us to kiss."

"What?" Now Laura looked confused.

"He learned about mistletoe and wanted us to kiss. It's no big deal!"

"If you say so." Laura said with a big grin. "Just strange that you let yourself get bossed around by your toddler."

Natasha and James met Steve after work and daycare at a little Christmas market near Central Park. He was already waiting for them with three hot chocolates.

She'd told Steve about the Bartons' Christmas plans while James watched a dog near by with vivid interest.

"I'm sorry, Nat. I know that you wanted to spend Christmas with them." Steve said sincerely.

"Yeah, but... I know that it will be good for them. And it's our first Christmas together and we should probably find our own traditions."

"I hope so. Christmas was always very special to me and Ma." He smiled softly. "We didn't have much, but Ma made always sure that we had a wonderful Christmas."

She returned his smile, hoping that James would think back about his Christmases with the same fond expression on his face. There hadn't been any Christmases in her childhood and she just wanted more for James.

"We-" Steve began, but then he stopped himself. "Forget it."

"What?"

"It's just that...Pepper mentioned that we could stay in the house in Vermont for Christmas. We would definitely have a white Christmas there."

Woah. Going away together for Christmas? That was insane, right? But a white Christmas would be great for James and New York was definitely not going to have one. She caught James looking at the fake snow with sad eyes, completely oblivious to his parents' conversation.

"We would have to take so much stuff with us. The presents, decorations...we would have to get another tree..."

"We can take a SI jet and there are decorations, according to Pepper. So you don't hate the idea?"

"I..I'll think about it. Okay?"

The decision was kind of made for her. Wanda asked shyly her if Natasha would be okay if she skipped Christmas this year to go on a trip with a few friends. What was Natasha supposed to say? Wanda didn't even celebrate Christmas and she was happy that she'd found friends her own age. So of course she told her to go. And Bucky'd signed up for a mission that Fury had originally wanted Wanda to do, but Bucky would take her place so she could go on her trip.

Natasha wasn't going to spend Christmas in rainy New York with almost everyone out of town or even the country. No, why turn down a white Christmas if you could have one.

She knew that it could be weird with just the three of them, but the most important thing was James. She'd checked the area and there was a small town near by that seemed to be all about Christmas. There was a Christmas market, a petting zoo with reindeer, an outdoor ice rink, and so many more attractions. James would love it.

She called Steve to inform him that she was okay with them spending Christmas in Vermont, and her heart almost burst with love and adoration when she saw James's happy face when she told him that they were going to have a white Christmas this year.

The jet landed on the private air field a couple of miles away from the house. The airport staff helped Steve get their luggage into the SUV while Natasha held a sleeping James in her arms. Yes, she may have over packed, but you could never have enough warm clothes. Especially for a toddler!

She gently put James into his seat, buckled him in, and managed all of it without waking him up. Steve tipped the helpers before he got into the passenger seat. Natasha would be driving, she'd already made that clear to him during the flight.

They drove through a literal winter wonderland on their way to the house. The ground and trees were covered in snow, it was just beautiful. She was almost tempted to wake up Jame so he could see it for himself, but she knew better. James would be very energetic once he woke up and she enjoyed the calm before the storm.

"Wow." Steve whispered. "It looks like we're in some fairy tale."

"Yeah." Honestly, who would prefer Florida to this?

"I don't think I'm able to tell you how happy I am that we're celebrating Christmas together." He smiled at her. "I know that you would prefer it if everyone would be together and I would love that, too. But I just...I'm so happy that I get to spend Christmas with the two most important people in my life."

She didn't know what to say, so she gave him a half smile before her gaze returned back to the road. She was surprised how much she liked the idea of Christmas here in Vermont with only James and Steve. Her son would definitely benefit from having his father all to himself and Natasha enjoyed that she would have a quiet and intimate Christmas after the emotional chaos of the last months.

The house was just beautiful. It looked more like a chalet than a house and was covered in snow and fairy lights. Pepper had sent someone to clean, stock the fridge and pantry, and to put on the lights. Natasha and Steve would only have to unpack, get a tree and decorate.

She parked the car, they got out , and Natasha opened the backdoor to wake up James while Steve started to get their stuff out of the trunk. James stirred, waking up, when she unbuckled him and got him out of his car seat.

"Look, baby!"

James blinked his eyes open and gasped when he saw the house that really looked like it came straight out of a Hallmark Christmas movie.

"Oh! So pretty! Look, mama. Look!" He pointed excitedly at the house.

"I know. It looks very pretty. This is where we are going to spend Christmas. Do you like it?"

"Yes, mama!" He grinned and his little cheeks were red from the cold and his excitement. "Look, daddy! All the lights!"

"It looks amazing, doesn't it, buddy?" Steve walked away from the trunk of the car to stand next to them. He looked down at her and then a James with an almost serene look on his face.

James grabbed Steve's coat and pulled on it, causing him to almost stumble into her and James. She had to readjust her hold on James and she gave her son a stern look who only grinned at her cheekily. She was honestly starting to believe that James knew exactly what he was doing to his parents.

Steve was still very close to her, but they weren't touching, and they admired the view in front of them in silence. The cold was starting to get to her and she shivered slightly.

"Cold?" Steve whispered and she nodded. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder without hesitation and pulled her and James into his warm embrace.

James was more than happy to be cuddled between his parents and Natasha caught herself wishing to bury her face into his coat to breathe in his smell. Steve always smelled so good. Okay, calm down.

"It's gonna be a great Christmas." Steve whispered and smiled down at her.

"Yeah." She creaked out, very aware of her racing pulse and something fluttering in her chest. Shit.