Eye of the Beholder

by Hazel Liebovsky

Chapitre Quinze

The Gods certainly had a sense of humor.

Daphnae had wondered for the longest time what she'd done in her previous life to deserve their wrath. The Gods, she knew, were keen on toying with mortals to ward off the ennui of living on Mount Olympus. They would strike up thunderstorms, giant waves, raise and shake Gaïa's grounds, when they weren't walking among humans to trick them. Some said the Gods envy mortals, but Daphnae never understood why. Mortals were fickle things, slaves to their desires and fragile.

Why would a God envy fragility?

A trick, that's what she thought Kassandra to be at first. Artemis had sent her legendary beasts for a Champion to slay, and now Athena herself had fallen from the sky to stand in front of her, wearing mismatched pieces of armor and a sly smirk. A traveler, she'd called herself.

Liar, had been Daphnae's first thought. Beautiful liar.

For the longest time, she thought of Kassandra as a deity. How couldn't she be? The finesse of her fighting, the accuracy of her strikes, how she always seemed to come back to her unscathed despite facing beasts and battles that would kill even the bravest of men. A lost Goddess roaming the world in search of adventure.

A deity that had somehow taken a liking to Daphnae.

As the months and then years flew by, Kassandra always came back to her with a new pelt, her head filled with tales to share.

Their first kiss had been a spur of the moment, an unsubtle ploy Daphnae had willfully set up. A reward for killing the Lykaon wolf. Another lie she told herself to justify her growing interest in her future opponent.

Their second kiss had happened months later, under the stars. Kassandra had been talking about something... Daphnae couldn't recall what it was exactly. She'd been too entranced by her lips, her profile to pay attention to the words coming out of her mouth. She was no stranger to desire, to attraction and the yearnings of carnal nature. Artemis had always been merciful enough to make her rise above it, but no matter her prayers that night, Daphnae couldn't look away. Didn't want to.

She had longed to indulge and taste those lips again, to see if they felt as soft and warm as the first time. And she did indulge when Kassandra turned her head - an eyebrow raised at the huntress' prolonged mutism.

A sharp inhale later, Daphnae had felt Kassandra's grin on her lips before fingers retraced her jaw gently, almost reverent in their caresses when she kissed her back.

She had expected hazel eyes to shine with mischief, maybe a smug smile, anything to remind her that she was weak. That, like any other mortal, she'd given in the barest of instincts. But the woman never ceased to surprise her. What she saw in those eyes was a glint of nervousness, something fragile and vulnerable buried underneath a smokescreen of bravado.

"Why did you do that?"

The question had thrown Daphnae off. Its blunt honesty and Kassandra's slight frown had been enough to render her speechless.

Her cheeks had flushed with embarrassment as she tried to apologize, but Kassandra hadn't let her.

"Just tell me why you did it," she'd asked again. There was something dangerous in her eyes, something guarded and intense, hiding a flicker of hope that didn't dare speak its name. Daphnae had had no choice but to tell the truth.

"You haven't left my thoughts..." she cleared her throat, her eyes flickering between Kassandra's lips and eyes. "Artemis as my witness, I have tried to push you away," she had hunted and prayed and hunted like never before. Asking for guidance and making offerings like her life depended on it. "But you haunt me, Beast Slayer. Your eyes, your smile, I..." she swallowed the lump of apprehension in her throat. "I see them in my sleep. I think of you, always."

You have cursed me, the words on the verge of her lips. You have cursed me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Kassandra had looked at her then, surprise etched her face, followed by pure unadulterated delight that had made Daphnae's heart soar just as much as the words she had muttered shyly:

"Me too."

They had been happy, extremely so. Happy to the point Daphnae sometimes forgot about the trials and the ways of her people, happy to the point she no longer thought of Kassandra as a deity gracing Earth with her presence.

Kassandra was human. Kassandra had doubts, dreams of reuniting her family and the biggest heart Daphnae had ever known.

And Kassandra loved her. Kassandra loved her fiercely enough to defy Artemis and refuse her last trial.

"Malákes traditions!" she had flailed her arms wildly. "I will not take the life of someone respect," her voice quivered with emotion despite the anger lacing her words. "Someone I admire, someone I love," she had grabbed her spear and thrown it on the wet grass at the huntress' feet. "I won't do it."

Hearing her sisters' shocked gasps, Daphnae had let fury consume her, to spare her heart, to force Kassandra's hand. "You would spit in the eyes of the Gods?!"

Please don't make me do it. I beg you. I can't.

"For you, yes," Kassandra didn't relent, coming to a halt in front of the huntress. "Daphnae, please…" she had kissed her with so much desperation that for a moment, Daphnae wanted nothing but to capture that moment and never let her go. "Come with me."

The Gods were cruel.

Cruel enough that she still saw those hazel eyes and that smile in her sleep, years after she'd pushed Kassandra away for the last time. Cruel enough to make her heart pound with worry when she heard whispers of the Eagle Bearer almost meeting Charon at the blade of a foreigner. Cruel enough to have that same foreigner come to her for help.

Lara was destined for greatness. She had known the moment their eyes met. There was something in her, the same thing that had animated Kassandra. Daphnae had shut out the little voice in her head warning her that Lara didn't belong, that she would leave one day, disappear, like Kassandra had. They were both destined for greatness, after all. Greatness far more rewarding than being part of the Daughters of Artemis. More rewarding than leading them, even.

The first time Daphnae thought herself hearing Kassandra's voice again, she had been convinced that it was an illusion fabricated by her exhausted mind. Swirling with images of her Sisters' demise at the hands of Deimos and the men under his command, the cloaked figure (Kassandra, it was Kassandra, her heart had known right away), standing above her, taking a spear meant for her had seemed so unreal.

The voice had spoken in a foreign tongue - the same language Lara sometimes used when she muttered to herself. Daphnae had thought it to be a trick, but she would recognize those inflections - that voice - anywhere, even years later, even as it spoke obscure words.

It wasn't until she had heard her screaming in agony that the huntress' feet led her back to the cave, sword in hand, though she hadn't dared to enter.

"Maláka," she'd heard her say, eavesdropping like some lowly silver tongue. It was Kassandra, there was no doubt about it. Daphnae had heard her curse enough times to know. She had switched back to the foreign language again. The huntress couldn't understand a word, her brow creased in a frown, worrying at her lips. She was torn, a force pulling her towards the cave (oh, how desperately she wanted to see) while her mind fought to keep her still.

They kept talking in hushed voices; the exhaustion palpable in Kassandra's tone. Daphnae hadn't moved, her hand balled into a fist when she heard their scuffling.

Kassandra's raised voice had made her pause again. The distress in her tone as she spoke, Daphnae had heard only once before; when she had refused her last trial. Whatever Kassandra said hadn't eased Lara's anger. Daphnae couldn't stand idle any longer, the huntress had announced her presence before walking in the cave.

Lara couldn't lie if her life depended on it. The thought was oddly comforting, though Daphnae hadn't been able to tear her gaze away from the figure behind her (it's Kassandra, it's Kassandra, the words kept dancing in her head). Kassandra was right there, just a touch away.

Daphnae had fled. Ran away like a coward back to the camp, eyes blurred by emotion and heart doing somersaults in her ribcage. She had gone through the motions, preparing her fallen sisters for the Underworld and shoving her feelings away. She even avoided Lara, despite her many attempts to seek Daphnae.

She didn't have the courage to face her. It was too hard.

A friend, she'd called Kassandra a friend. How long had they known each other?

Did it mean that the tales of Lara beating the Eagle Bearer were false?

Had they both come up with this scheme together… to save Daphnae from Deimos?

The questions kept taunting her that night, robbing the huntress' rest. She ambled, aimless, under the guise of patrolling, just in time to see Lara climb up a tree and sneak out.

Their last talk had torn Daphnae's heart. Here she was, a foreigner from nowhere, not bound by ancestral traditions, free to follow her own path and make her own life. Free and bold enough to do what Daphnae never had the bravery to.

To choose Kassandra.

"Leave," her voice had been harsh but her heart had been weeping. "You know what will happen if you come back."

Please, take care of her.

Daphnae had wandered again, her feet leading her to the temple after Lara walked away. She stayed there until sunrise, looking for guidance and sending prayers for her sisters' safe passage.

She left when dawn brought the first chirping of birds, breath fogged by the early morning mist as her feet guided her towards the edge of the forest, to the highest cliff overlooking the raging sea on the northern coast. Lesbos stood in the distance, visible through the brume if one squinted.

Daphnae did squint, thinking it to be another trick of her mind. She blinked several times over, every time opening her eyes to the same image of Kassandra standing in front of her, nervous and fidgety, with no mask on. Her hair loose for the wind to play with.

She looked different. Weary, older somehow, yet her face hadn't aged a day.

"Hello, Daphnae," she wet her lips, "Long time no see," before they stretched in an awkward grimace of a smile.

Daphnae couldn't talk, the words were stuck at the back of her throat; she looked around them quickly.

"I don't think they—"

"You shouldn't be here," was the first thing that came out of her mouth. Daphnae wanted to slap herself when Kassandra's face fell.

"I know," she mumbled, eyes downcast.

Daphnae chewed on the inside of her lip until she drew blood. Her mind was screaming, urging her to close the distance, to grab Kassandra's cheeks and kiss the sadness out of her face. She closed her eyes for a long while. Please, let this be a dream... the woman was still there when she opened them.

"You saved me," she blurted, surprising both Kassandra and herself.

Why? Is what her words were saying.

Kassandra lifted her head. "Do you really need to ask?" her smile was nervous, still. "I couldn't let you..." she trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid.

I couldn't let you die.

She wanted to take that step. "Did you send her to help us?" Daphnae paused again, uncertain. "Your… friend?"

Kassandra shrugged, her gaze flickering away. "Not exactly," her foot kept shifting on the ground, like she wanted to leave but forced herself to stay. "She was wanted. I knew you could keep her safe," Daphnae saw her throat bob. She hadn't meant to reveal that part.

Keep her safe.

Her silence spoke volumes.

It hurt, just like Lara's words had hurt.

"She is… nice." Daphnae said, noticing how hazel eyes blinked at her. "Where did you find her?"

A smile appeared on Kassandra's face, not the nervous, stilted one the woman had been sporting until now. Something small, tentative but genuine. "She found me, more like."

It hurt.

The huntress nodded, slowly. She watched as Kassandra turned away from her, walking to the edge of the cliff and flopped down.

Wordlessly; she gave Daphnae a choice; she could leave - walk away and never turn back, or she could kill Kassandra… making true on the promise uttered all those years ago.

Daphnae's heart beat too fast in her chest, blood rushing through her veins and drowning out the sound of waves crashing against the rocks further down. She didn't make a sound when she approached the edge. Blinking, she could see herself grabbing Kassandra's chin, raising it upward before slicing through. The gurgle and the blood, the body flopping over the edge to land in the sea.

Daphnae shook her head, chasing the images away. She sat down next to Kassandra, noticed how her eyes were jammed shut expectantly, the tension in her shoulders. They always understood one another. The fleeting thought that had passed over Daphnae, Kassandra had experienced it too.

She swallowed, her fingers crawling ever so slowly until they reached Kassandra's hand on her knee. The touch she'd been craving all those years, both familiar and foreign. Calluses she knew by heart, the small, barely noticeable crevasses of scars long healed. The crease between her thumb and index finger; Ikaros pecking a hole there when he was just an eaglet and not yet trained to show his disapproval another way.

It was comforting.

Kassandra squeezed back, looking at the horizon as the huntress kept watching her.

"I've wanted to hate you," she said, barely a whisper. "For so long I've wanted to hate you."

Daphnae winced, taking the blows in silence.

Kassandra's eyes hadn't left the horizon. "I've had a lot of time to think," her smile was rueful. "More than you can imagine," she finally lowered her gaze, pausing for a long while before the words left her mouth, "You... you loved me too, right?"

Was it real?

She had asked the question at their intertwined fingers and it broke Daphnae's heart. "More than anything on this Earth," she whispered, tears already seeping through her voice. "Never doubt it, Kassandra."

"Then why…" she shook her head. "We were happy," Kassandra shifted, facing Daphnae. "We could have been happy, right?"

The shine in her eyes, the emotions swirling within... Daphnae blinked her own tears away. "We were. Very much so."

"Wasn't it enough?" Kassandra's eyes pierced through her. Her words stabbing at the huntress' heart. "Why wasn't I enough?"

Why didn't you choose me?

That poor, heartbroken fool.

Daphnae shook her head, allowing herself to cradle Kassandra's face in her hands. "I chose you," she pressed their foreheads together. "I chose you when I let you go. I chose you when I went against my people's way. I chose you," her cheeks were wet, her lips quivering. "But I can't be with you."

Artemis wouldn't allow it. Daphnae's life wasn't her own, she gave up that privilege the day she pledged herself to the Goddess. Often, she wondered if things could have been different, on days when doubts and heartbreak had plagued her heart. Would she have met Kassandra, had she not been a Daughter? Would they have fallen in love?

Would Daphnae have followed her heart?

Kassandra's breath came in small shaky puffs of air against her lips. Only a tilt, it would take only a tilt to close the distance and kiss her. Something cold pressed against her lap, she tensed, drawing away from the woman to look down.

"I've chained you to my fate for too long," Kassandra took one of Daphnae's hands, cradling it, kissing the inside of her wrist. "I have to let you go."

Daphnae swallowed when the woman pressed the cold weight in her hand. A shudder rippled through her body. "I can't..." she whined, closing her eyes when she felt Kassandra's hand on her own, fingers intertwining as they took the grip, together.

Kassandra sniffled. "You'll always be in my heart, Daphnae. Always," she forced a smile. "Think of me sometimes, okay?"

The huntress was already sobbing, her hand shaking in Kassandra's. "Always."

Kassandra sighed shakily. "Promise me you'll live?" she cradled Daphnae's cheek with her other hand, wiping away the tears with her thumb. "Promise me."

"Kassand—"

"Promise me, Daphnae," she insisted. "Lead your sisters and stay away from the Cult."

The huntress breathed and nodded. "I promise you," she looked her in the eyes. "I promise."

"Good," Kassandra's smile was weak. "I... I shouldn't tell you this," her eyes flickered downward at their joined hands on the knife. "There will be a price to pay, I believe, but..." she looked back up. "Don't trust Iokaste."

Daphnae could only nod. She had suspected as much, but with no evidence to back it up, except for the huntress' sudden disappearance during the battles, she couldn't talk to her sisters about it. Now she understood why Lara had sought her out during the funerals. The woman had wanted to warn her as well. "I will be careful," she felt Kassandra squeeze her hand, drawing it closer to her body and froze. "Wait."

The end of the blade was pressing on the woman's linothorax . "What is it?"

Daphnae searched her eyes for a long while before she dared to ask. "Will I ever see you again?"

Kassandra stared at her, shaking her head slowly. "Not me."

The words hung between them, thick with meaning. The only satisfaction Daphnae would get, knowing the Eagle Bearer would be there, somewhere, forever out of reach. She shut her eyes, feeling Kassandra's hand squeeze hers again. "I can't..." she whispered.

A touch of lips, quivering and hesitant, feeling Kassandra's trembling breath on her cheek when Daphnae kissed back with all her might, open-mouthed, steeped by a passion that had never left.

Kassandra's hiccup was the only indication of what happened. Another kiss, gentler and soothing, to say goodbye. Feeling Kassandra's hand curl around hers and the sinking knife, trembling hands, shaky breath when she pulled away. Her eyes were a clear amber, brimming with sorrow but peaceful.

"You're free now."

Daphnae's fingers were wet, mingled with tears and blood. Her eyes were wide, her mouth agape. "N..."

"Can you help me up?" Kassandra cut her off, stifling her plea. Her smile weak and her tone breezy. "Please?"

Daphnae was frozen, her arm curled around the waist of the woman's rapidly fading body. It took a few attempts for Kassandra to stand upright, by then her breathing was already wheezy. The camp was too far, even if they ran, she wouldn't make it; realization dawned on the huntress.

You killed her... her eyes downcast at her stained hands. You just killed her...

"Daphnae," Kassandra rasped. She hadn't been aware she'd started shaking. "I don't..." hazel eyes flickered away for a second. "I don't want you to see me like this," she followed Kassandra's gaze over the horizon. "Please."

"Kassandra..."

Her coughing made Daphnae stop. "Please," she said again, turning towards her one last time. "Remember what I told you," her lips tugged upward again. "Live. For me."

Daphnae closed her eyes when Kassandra pressed another kiss to her lips. She let the huntress' arm hang loose around her neck, before putting her palm on Daphnae's front and pushing her away gently.

Daphnae walked backwards until the foliage, trees and her own blurry eyes blocked the view. She didn't see anything, but heard it all. The rasped breathing, the grunt when Kassandra took out the knife, the flapping of her cloak in the wind as she walked to the edge of the cliff and fell to her death.

It turned out that getting on a ship with a barely-healed hole in your lung was a bad idea. A terrible one that left Kassandra wheezing painfully during the day and retching her guts overboard at night.

When she wasn't staring blankly at the wall for literal hours, that was.

Lara had no idea how to handle the situation. When Sam got contemplative after a fallout over a stillborn relationship with a bloke, she usually dragged her out to their favorite Delhi for a needed girl talk-slash-vent session that inadvertently ended back at their shared flat with the archeologist demonstrating all her cocktail-making skills while listening to Sam drunk-cursing the man down three generations.

Being a barmaid had its perks.

There was no Delhi here, but the Greeks did grow celery and tomatoes, so technically she could make a Bloody Mary…

She wasn't even sure Kassandra liked Bloody Marys. She had only seen her drink variations of Greek wines or Belgian beers back in Sparta. No hard liquor and no cocktails. Such a snob, she was.

Alcohol was probably out of the question anyway, given her state.

What are you even thinking about?

The woman's half-cough drew her out of her musings, Lara jumped to her feet, taking the few steps that separated their bedrolls. "How are you feeling?"

It had been more than two weeks since they left Chios and Kassandra had barely recovered. The regenerative process never took so long and Lara had no idea what was happening. It was worrisome.

"Peachy," Kassandra gritted out, flopping awkwardly to the side of her collapsed lung and groaning in pain when she realized her mistake.

Lara grabbed Kassandra's shoulder, and shifted her to lie on her back slowly. The motion must have hurt; her lower lip was trapped between her teeth. "Try not to move."

That was one useless advice if she ever heard one. Kassandra came to the same conclusion, quirking her eyebrow in a way that spoke volumes.

Lara winced. "Sorry."

They had embarked on a ship to Athens when the raging storm had calmed, a few hours after a half-conscious Kassandra had barged into the room she'd rented on Chios. The woman had refused to listen to Lara's concerns and pleas to stay one more day and had frantically dragged her way to the port, walking on wobbly legs with one idea in mind: to get as far away from the island as quickly as possible.

Kassandra had found them the biggest ship and filled the captain's pouch with more drachmae than he had ever seen in exchange for a private space in the ship's hold, not caring if the crew needed to throw merchandise overboard to do so.

"Where did you find all that money?" Lara had asked, moving crates of wool and metal around to make room.

"Sparta," her response was flat. "Took it from the general who wanted your head. He won't be needing the drachmae."

Two weeks had passed and Kassandra hadn't said more than three words in a row. Lara distracted herself as best as she could; after blackening her journal, the archeologist had taken on opening the crates to fold the wool and clothes in perfect little squares. Her restlessness contrasted with the other woman's inertia.

Lara gave her another week. By the end of it, she promised herself that she would take matters into her own hands, sit Kassandra down and speak to her. They couldn't go on like this, and she was too tired to walk on eggshells any longer. She understood that whatever had happened with Daphnae would stay between them and Lara wouldn't pry; but Kassandra needed to get out of her funk. Dealing with a barely conscious husk was exhausting.

Those thoughts were usually followed by an overwhelming wave of guilt. Lara should have listened when the woman told her it was a bad idea. She shouldn't have insisted.

Kassandra wouldn't be in this state if she had kept her mouth shut.

Fate decided to push her luck a little a few days later, in the most excruciating way for Kassandra, whose coughing and wheezing startled the archeologist awake in the middle of the night. The grogginess of sleep dissipated with each labored breath and wet choking. The young woman rolled over and crawled towards Kassandra, reaching blindly for her before recoiling in surprise. Her chiton was wet, clinging to her body. Kassandra's fever had come back with a vengeance.

Oh, no.

"Can't…" she rasped, "Breathe… hurts. Cold."

"Okay," Lara turned around, navigating towards the small pile of crates. "Okay," she opened the one with the wool, taking what looked to be a huge and heavy curtain to cover the woman with. "Better?"

Kassandra tried to speak but a vicious coughing fit got to her. Her chest was rising and falling erratically. She needed to relax or her lung would shut down again. The archeologist bit her lip, making up her mind, she dragged her bedroll closer and lied onto it, snuggling as close as she dared.

"Remember the breathing exercises you make me do?" her hand snaked around, coming flat on the woman's stomach above the makeshift blanket. "When I have a nightmare?"

Kassandra wheezed a pained hum.

"Try to follow my breathing, okay? Focus on it and push against my hand slowly."

Lara took a deep breath and held it, waiting for Kassandra to do the same. She exhaled slowly while pushing on the other woman's diaphragm.

Kassandra wheezed, groaning. "Hurts…"

"I know," she whispered in sympathy. She would gladly take her pain, if she could. God knows Lara deserved it. "But you have to keep going."

They didn't sleep that night. Or the one that followed. Like some sick routine, Kassandra's low wails would jerk Lara awake at odd hours. By the third night, the archeologist moved her bedroll next to Kassandra permanently. They would breathe together until the debilitating pain drained all of Kassandra's strength, leaving her passed out from exhaustion.

By the fifth day, Kassandra struck up conversations. Nothing deep, just shallow topics to distract herself from the excruciating pinch in her lung. It wasn't until the tenth day of their routine that she really spoke to Lara for the first time since they had left Chios.

"It's because I killed myself."

Lara's soothing motions on her stomach halted abruptly. She froze for a second before her fingers resumed their light drumming. "What?" she asked, no louder than a whisper.

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe in, hold it for three seconds .

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe out.

"I killed myself on Chios," Kassandra said with her exhale, waiting for the three other taps on her abdomen to inhale before she went on. "That's why it's taking longer."

"Oh."

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe out.

It was one thing to die by the hand of another and come back, but Kassandra had learned that committing suicide triggered the Staff's power in such a way that made her wish she would never come back.

"You must never harm yourself willingly, Keeper." Aletheia had warned her after Kassandra's very first death. "The Staff won't permit it," had been fancy talk for the Staff would make her bitterly regret trying to take her own life.

She had to stay alive. It was as much a part of her mission as the rest.

It had happened once before, stuck in a loop of life and intentional death Kassandra couldn't control. A twisted never ending circle of waking up, feeling nothing but pain and dying a few minutes later, until she found a way out. It had taken weeks. Her body had recovered from it, but the fear was forever etched in her mind.

Never kill yourself.

"I'm sorry," Lara's timid declaration drew her out of her thoughts.

A lone tear ran down her cheek, Kassandra wheezed, feeling the archeologist's gaze on her. She didn't want her pity.

"What if Daphnae hears about the Eagle Bearer?" Lara had an uncanny ability to sense uneasiness and switched topics. Always practical.

Kassandra tried to huff, but it still hurt to breathe if she wasn't following Lara's rhythm. She grimaced, waiting for the taps. "She will," Daphnae's sisters were scattered all across the Greek world. "Nothing will happen. She knows I'm…" Kassandra frowned at the barely lit ceiling above them, searching for the right word. "She knows I'm different," the huntress had seen her take a spear in her side and walk it off like nothing happened. "As long as the Eagle Bearer keeps to herself, so will Daphnae, " she coughed again, waiting for Lara's fingers to drum on her stomach. "Either way, it's over," her brow creased in a frown. "For me, I mean."

"I'm sorry."

Kassandra's smile was weak, rueful. A pale shadow of the ones she usually gave Lara. "You already said that," she shook her head, squeezing the archeologist's hand on her abdomen. "Were you expecting something else?" she asked. "Because I wasn't, I knew what would happen."

She hadn't meant to pile it on Lara, it wasn't her fault. The young woman still winced. "I'm sor—"

Kassandra lifted her hand and pressed her fingers on Lara's lips gently, halting her. "No more apologies, please," they felt soft under her fingertips. "It was my decision to go, not yours," she surprised herself wondering how it would feel to kiss them. Would they be just as soft? "What happened isn't your fault."

You can't.

Kassandra let her hand fall and turned her head to look at the ceiling again. She said nothing for a long while, only breathing to the rhythm of Lara's fingers while listening to the occasional creaking of the wood above them. The sea was calm, lulling her to sleep, if it weren't for the droning pain in her guts.

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe in.

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe out.

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe in.

"There's something I need to tell you."

Tap, tap, tap.

Kassandra exhaled shakily; a cold shudder traveled through her. Her heart sped up, but she forced herself to breathe slowly. She had waited too long, fooling herself into thinking there would be a right place and a right time to say it.

Things like that never happened. Being here, in a ship's hold with no immediate danger around and no one listening was the best she could hope for. Guilt had consumed her enough as it was, there would be no better time to say it. Lara had the right to know. The more Kassandra waited, the harder it would be.

Her eyes jammed shut, images of Lara's face flashed in her mind. The betrayal, the anger she had felt on Chios, refusing to listen because Kassandra had kept things and lied enough; She needed to tell her the truth. Whatever may come from it, she would bear the consequences.

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe out.

"It's about you… about Yamatai."

Lara froze again, fingers coming to a halt. Kassandra found herself holding in a breath, waiting until they resumed their motions, a few seconds later.

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe in.

"What about Yamatai?" Lara was watching her, but her voice was flat. "You've read the papers that called me a loony with an axe?"

Kassandra kept her eyes trained on the ceiling, hearing the muffled voices of sailors above them. "No," though she knew about that, too. "It's… what happened there..." she wet her lips. "It's because of me. It's my fault."

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe out.

Kassandra still refused to turn her head, but she could picture the archeologist's confused frown. She heard her sigh before shaking her head. "The weather in the Dragon Triangle wasn't you. The Sun Queen was trapped."

Sun Queen.

She hadn't heard those words in so long. Himiko, as adulated as she was feared. Kassandra remembered feeling a sense of unsettling puzzlement at the statues littering the island. How her subjects, rich and poor cowered at the sight of her Stormguards. The way her people worshiped with fear in their eyes instead of devotion, as they gave offering to faces whose austere expression was set in stone. A mere mortal, she was. A smart and cunning leader.

Would they have adored her, had they known her power was not her own? That her mind had been corrupted like many others before. That she had been using and abusing a technology that was never meant for her?

Would they have loved her, had they known the crippling cowardice of their Queen in the face of death? How vanity and power had intoxicated her, seeped into the pores of her being like a disease to the point Himiko defied the laws of life and scarified souls as she saw fit? Her little game had gone on for a century before Alethia had urged Kassandra to intervene. Isu technology should never fall in the hands of weak-minded humans who were not ready to carry its burden.

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe out.

"And do you know how it happened?" Kassandra asked. "How she got trapped?"

Tap, tap, tap.

Breathe in.

Lara squinted; eyes glazed as she rummaged through her memory. "The priestess she had chosen for the ritual committed suicide in the middle of it, Kassandra," her smile was nervous and confused. "With a dagger she'd stolen from the General of the Stormguards. How could that be your doing?"

It was like her brain was blocking all possibilities of Kassandra's involvement in this. Like the trauma of it had been so great that Lara couldn't possibly reconcile the two. As if the mere notion of Kassandra being there was too unbelievable, even for someone as seasoned as Lara.

She would have to spell it out for her.

Tap, tap, tap.

Kassandra gulped and turned her head, holding Lara's gaze as she spoke. "A dagger I gifted him, after I convinced Hoshi to kill herself."

Breathe out.

So... how many of you thought Kass was going to tell Lara about giving the Staff/dying? Did you expect she'd have anything to do with Yamatai? It is a crossover, after all. Have to tie up things :) Hoshi isn't an OC, Lara finds her journal on Yamatai during the game. She was voiced by Sam's VA :D which leads me to think Hoshi/her family are Sam's ancestors, since the Queen didn't have children.

I tweaked Daphnae and Kassandra's original scene in Chios a little, hope you don't mind. I always thought it was touching that Kass stopped herself before saying the word "love". I think Daphnae is the only romance where Kass admits to loving her and mentions falling for her and not just wanting her like Kyra's romance.

Anyway, yes, I'm Daphandra trash. I might have shed a few tears writing their scene.

Buckle up, we're going to Yamatai.