When Izuku was a child his life wasn't really difficult. Both of his parents loved him deeply and they made sure he knew that. Inko still makes sure that he knows. His parents always fostered his creativity and hobbies which, to Izuku, was the best thing they could have ever done. Because of the support he was given then, he would make himself into something amazing now. Those things shaped him into the creative and confident person he is now.
When his father took him out for ice cream and a trip to the bench, he instilled in Izuku many life lessons, like how to fight and how to be patient. Those trips also taught him that he enjoyed vanilla ice cream more than any other flavor. Izuku hasn't had vanilla ice cream since his father passed away nine years ago. Just looking at the cold, sweet treat made him both sad and queasy.
Losing his father was another thing that made him into who he is now. Mourning the loss of his father and caring for his mother as much as he could at the tender age of ten years old taught him how to be strong for other people. He also learned how to make ramen noodles in several different ways as well as doing the laundry. The biggest lesson Izuku learned from the death of his father was that time is never promised to anyone so live a life without regrets.
No regrets were a catalyst to help him for Kacchan. It isn't that he regretted the bullying and abuse, why would he when it wasn't his fault? Izuku never really blamed his childhood friend for the heinous behaviors he displayed. Kacchan's mom could be awful to him over the smallest of things and he just knew that one day the angry blonde would calm down. He looked forward to that time and planned to be there when that version of Kacchan happened. The patience and forgiveness really were and still are worth it. If Kacchan taught him anything at all, it was kindness. Be the opposite of his childhood tormentor. Being kind often proved to be more difficult than being mean, but Izuku perfected the art of kindness.
Entering high school without Katsuki gave Izuku a clean slate to make friends and on the first day of school he was adopted by one Uraraka Ochako. She was chatty and led the conversations for him at first and that was fine by him. They studied together and texted in their free time. Ochako quickly became his best friend and that alone boosted his self-esteem and confidence.
A very pretty boy with heterochromia and bi-colored red and white hair soon harbored his attention. The guy was quiet and stoic, unphased by anything going on around him, and always alone. That was the first time Izuku realized he was attracted to males. Piggybacking off of the confidence that Uraraka gave him, he initiated a conversation with Todoroki Shouto. Izuku did a majority of the talking while it seemed that the other didn't pay him much mind. It was nearly enough to be annoying, but being who he is, Izuku went for the shock factor and quickly hugged Todoroki who froze up. Excusing himself, Izuku ran to Ochako who was waiting for him at the end of the hallway.
It was Shouto who initiated the next conversation and brick by slow brick, they built their friendship. At some point in time, Uraraka got slipped into the braid of their ever-growing friendship and the 'Zukusquad was born. They had dinner together most Fridays after school and studied at Izuku's house on Tuesdays, much to his mother's delight.
When Kacchan noticed that he had made friends, he doubled up his bullying efforts any time that he saw Izuku out and alone. In turn, Izuku started working out at the gym every chance he got and Shouto went through the trouble of teaching him some basic mixed martial arts techniques. Going to the gym meant that Izuku listened to more music and that introduced him to trap and dubstep. He studied and researched everything he could about the art of being a DJ. Inko discovered his new whim and decided to put him in some nearby classes. Izuku took to music in the same way he did with every other art form. He was a natural, swiftly surpassing the skill level of everyone in the class.
The drawing and painting had come naturally to him as well and from a young age at that. School notes had many doodles in them, but it helped Izuku remember things better. He could recall a mental image of the notes he had taken based on what he was doodling at the time. Becoming an Honors Student wasn't very difficult with that tactic. When he applied to AMU and got accepted with a full scholarship, he was ecstatic. The only other person more excited than him was his mother.
Shouto had applied to AMU and got the same deal as Izuku. Though his dad was proud of him for getting accepted into such an excellent school, he was not pleased with his son's major. Todoroki expected Shouto to double major in Business Management and Technology, so he could one day run the family company, Tech Endeavor. Shouto's heart belongs to Molecular Biology though, so that's what he is pursuing.
Once Inko discovered the situation with the Todoroki family, she had a party for both Izuku and Shouto. It wasn't a large party and that was fine by them considering they aren't fond of big groups. A summer later and they were moving into the Honors Dorm Building, meeting their roommates, and cursing themselves for not packing lightly. That was where the big changes came for Izuku.
In his first year of college he has not one but two jobs, more friends than he has fingers, a father figure that he didn't know he needed, and enough heartbreak to last a lifetime. Rather quickly, Izuku realizes, he is changing into a new person in several ways even though his core traits remain the same. His mom used to tell him that being self-aware would benefit him in the long run and so far, she has been right. Maybe it is time to remix some aspects of himself and his life.
"Midoriya? Are you okay?" A voice pulls him from his reflections.
Izuku is holding his paintbrush at the ready in front of the canvas that he is staring at with unfocused eyes. "Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Turning around he sees Shouto looking at him with concern, a bowl of soba noodles perched on his knees.
"You've been sitting like that for five minutes. I had an entire one-sided conversation with myself because you weren't listening." Shouto keeps his gaze on Izuku as he slurps some of the noodles.
Izuku chews on his bottom lip for a moment, painting left forgotten for the moment. Why on Earth would he hesitate to tell Shouto his thoughts and feelings? They're best friends even though they aren't as inseparable as they once were back in high school. Perhaps his anxiety just has a firm grasp on his thoughts right now. "I think I'm going through an identity crisis."
Shouto merely quirks an eyebrow before asking, "what kind of an identity crisis?"
"There are different kinds? Are you serious?" Izuku asks, his voice steadily rising in pitch. Shouto nods. "Uh, well I'm just, um, this is hard. Okay, with all of my recent life experiences I am just thinking about how they are kind of changing me as a person. I think it's fostering growth, possibly. Toshinori said I'm maturing so I can't help but wonder if maybe I should change some stuff in my life. Does any of this make sense?" Midoriya deflates after his explanation is done.
"You aren't in an identity crisis. You are in identity moratorium," Shouto says.
"How do you know that?" Izuku asks as he furrows his brows.
"I did dorm with future psychologist Bakugou Katsuki for a year. He explained the different identity statuses to me once and then asked me where I stood."
Izuku snorts, imagining how that conversation went and then realizing that it was quite possible for Todoroki and Bakugou to have a friendship that he hadn't even considered. It makes an ugly emotion rear its head deep in his chest. It quickly sobers up any humor he had been feeling.
"Call it what you will, it's still there," Izuku says curtly as he cleans up his paint mess and puts his supplies away neatly. "I'm going out." Walking into his bedroom, the first thing that catches his eye is his gym bag, so he snatches it up and hustles out of the house without uttering another word.
The walk to the gym is not peaceful. The thoughts swirling in his head are loud and each one demands his attention. Before long, it is a full-on knock down drag out between the thoughts and Izuku puts his earbuds in with the hope that music will bring some quiet. It seems to make things more manageable.
As he begins his leisurely paced jog on the treadmill, Izuku decides that each exercise he does will get one topic he can think about and analyze. Compartmentalizing is one thing he excels at in his mind. What is bothering him the most? Art. He is so caught up in friends and dating and work that picking up a pencil or brush now feels like a foreign concept rather than a thrill. Re-devoting himself to art would be a good start. There is a chance that as he changes and develops as a person, his art will change too. The green bunny he had drawn then he was five stands out on his left bicep as a tattoo. Art will definitely mature with him.
Moving on to the weight bench, he sets himself up and gets under the bar. Dating. That is something he really knows nothing about. Maybe he should ask around. Even if everyone's experiences are different then at least he could get a general idea of how dating works. Izuku considers that he may be overthinking the whole concept. When he returns to the house, he decides, he will list out the pros and cons of all of his ex-boyfriends and then work from there. Yeah, that is a solid plan.
Finishing his reps, Izuku moves to doing his squats in front of the wall of mirrors so he can keep track of his posture and form. What about music? Should he try to grow as a DJ? It is only a hobby and his weekend job, but would he continue to do it after college? Talking to Jirou might be a good option on the matter. If at all possible, they could share their knowledge with each other and grow together. Much like visual art, music is heard, interpreted, and made differently by each person so there is no harm in asking Jirou.
None of those things seem like dramatic changes to Izuku. He needs something more, anything at all. He starts on his crunches as he debates on what to change. Maybe he should throw a party? What if he cuts his hair? How about changing his wardrobe completely? Momo would love that. A new tattoo wouldn't be a bad change, but he was out of space on his arms, so he would have to move on to a different part of his body. He could have Shinsou give him a piercing, nothing too flashy or angsty like Shouji. Shouji is the other artist at One for All and he works so quickly and efficiently, you'd almost believe he had multiple hands. He's also covered in tats and has enough piercings to rival the display cases in Shinsou's room at the shop.
After a quick dinner back at home, Izuku gathers up a small sketchbook and a fine point marker before going upstairs and laying on the couch in the front living room which is positioned in front of the bay window that shows the darkening street outside. On the first blank page he writes 'Iida Tenya' and underlines it boldly. Pros get listed first followed by cons. This pattern continues for Kirishima and Bakugou as well. When he starts on the master list of things he wants in a significant other, Uraraka walks into the room.
"Hey Deku, what are you up to?" She asks, plopping onto the cushion above Izuku's head. He takes the opportunity to scoot up and use her thigh as a pillow.
"I'm writing lists on the pros and cons of my exes to find out what I really want from a partner," he answers with a sigh.
"What do you have so far?"
Flipping to the front of the book, he silently hands it to Ochako and closes his eyes.
Iida Tenya
Pros: *Organized. *Athletic. *Good Listener.
Cons: *Uptight. *Bossy. *Too much of a good friend to date.
Kirishima Eijirou
Pros: *Attractive. *Muscular. *Kind. *Understanding.
Cons: *Dating Bakugou. *Broke my heart. *Not the best with time management.
Bakugou Katsuki
Pros: *Attractive. *Muscular. *Excellent at cooking. *Intuitive. *Honest. *Caring (when he wants to be).
Cons: *Loud. *Curses A LOT. *Dating Kirishima. *Broke my heart. *Tends to interrupt my muttering.
Ochako reads the lists for several minutes before handing the book back. "So, what is going on the master list?"
"Would you want to help me choose?" Izuku asks, looking up through his long lashes at her.
"What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't?" She plays with his soft green curls as he lists off Iida's pros. "Is organized really necessary at this point in time?"
"No, not really," Izuku answers, tapping the marker against his lips. "The good listener part is important to me though." He puts it on the list.
"What about athletic?"
"Added bonus but not necessary," he answers. Uraraka hums in agreement. They move on to Kirishima.
"I think kind and understanding go hand in hand," she chimes in as Izuku mutters to himself. He nods, writing both into the list anyways.
"All we have left is Kacchan." Izuku looks over the list. "I would definitely appreciate it if they weren't loud like he is." Relatively quiet goes on the list.
"Honesty is a big deal to you so that should make the cut. Intuitive and caring too. Being an excellent cook is a good trait but is it really a need?" Ochako asks. Izuku shakes his head and hands her the completed list to look over.
Master List
Pros: *Good listener. *Kind. *Understanding. *Relatively quiet. *Honest. *Intuitive. *Caring.
"What do you think?" He waits for her answer impatiently.
"I think I know someone who fits your criteria," she says with a smirk.