Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh.

Title: Endearment and Enmity

Rating: T-M depending on chapter, M overall

Summary: When you're literally married to the person you despise.

Warnings: Homosexual relationships, vulgar words and adult situations.

Author's Note: I don't know why I wrote this. Also, special thanks to sky-kaijou who has not only been following this story since I first started writing it like... three years ago, but has become the beta reader because I'm to impatient to actually read stuff over before posting it.

Chapter 14: Kilig

"You're quiet tonight." Kaiba commented snidely as he sat at his desk; the lights in his office were on this time, as he was going through paper documents rather than electronic ones. He was of course referring to his spouse, who was lying on the couch he usually sat at when he was waiting for him to get done working.

Katsuya didn't answer; he was lying on his side facing the couch back; he hadn't even bothered to change into regular clothes after his shift at the hospital and was just wearing his against-the-Kaiba-Corp-regulation scrub set.

It has been about a week since their family day with their siblings, and Katsuya had been acting off ever since. He still hadn't returned to the mansion, opting to instead continue to stay at the safehouse near Domino High. Kaiba didn't know why he was more comfortable there, but if he had to guess it was likely because a small house was much less intimidating than a huge mansion for someone who'd never lived outside of an apartment complex. After all, that was how he had felt when he and Mokuba were children after being adopted by Gozaburo.

Katsuya had before the family event seemingly been trying to improve their relationship - doing things like opening up emotionally and visiting him more. Lately, however, he wasn't speaking to him and was spacing out a lot; Kaiba had only left him alone with his sister for less than five minutes but apparently that was enough to make Katsuya withdraw into himself.

Kaiba was just going to let him deal with it himself, but clearly he wasn't getting over it on his own. The brunet neatly stacked the documents he was working on before looking across the room to his husband "We're taking a walk." He wasn't asking. Katsuya didn't answer "I know you aren't asleep, come walk with me in the garden." Kaiba said as he got up and shoved a wool trench coat over his suit, not bothering to button it.

Katsuya sighed audibly before he slowly rose up into a seated position, and even slower got onto his feet. He shuffled over to the CEO, but wasn't looking him in the eye, rather his gaze was cast downward at the ground.

Admittedly hesitant at first, Kaiba hooked his arm with the others'; he observed so far that the other man responded the most to physical gestures rather than verbal instructions. Katsuya seemed surprised, but relaxed quickly as expected, allowing the CEO to lead him out of the building to the back garden of Kaiba Corp.

There weren't any lamps in the back garden, but the night sky was clear and the white stones of the garden reflected off the moonlight and illuminated the area. Kaiba led him down the path a few meters before he began speaking "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Katsuya dismissed.

"We both know that's not true." Kaiba replied, tightening his arm with Katsuya to ensure he couldn't jerk away impulsively "Ever since we saw our siblings you haven't been yourself."

"Don't talk about me like you know who I am." Katsuya replied flatly, refusing to look at him.

"I don't have to know you on a deep level to know you're not acting how you usually act." Kaiba said "I have pattern recognition."

"Do you want an award?"

"Do you want to stop deflecting and talk to me straight like an adult?"

Katsuya fell silent; Kaiba could see he was gnawing on his bottom lip. The CRNA had a lot of nervous habits that were easy to not notice, but Kaiba was nothing if not observant.

Being strict wasn't going to work with him. Perhaps a more compassionate approach was in order. "Tell me what's wrong." He softened the tone of his voice this time, and stopped in his tracks so he could look at him "Please."

The use of such a seldom used word from him seemed to work. Katsuya drew in a deep breath and slowly released it before finally saying "I'm sorry."

Kaiba quirked a brow "About what?"

"I...I..." Katsuya's breathing became deeper between words "... C-Couldn't lie..."

"About what?" He asked, letting go of his husbands arm so he could instead wrap it around his waist in a comforting way, which again garnered the reaction he wanted.

"To Shizuka..."

It clicked.

He wanted to be mad, but if he lashed out at his spouse now it would set them back to where they were in the beginning; Katsuya openly hating him to his face, and Kaiba only dismissing him. "About our marriage?" He tried to keep an annoyed edge out of his tone.

"Not outright." Katsuya admitted, sounder more collected now "God, I'm such a shitty coward. I couldn't lie to my sister but I couldn't be honest either."

Was he really more upset about being wishy-washy with his sister over admitting the secret of their marriage?

At least he was consistent.

Kaiba tightened his mouth into a tight line as Katsuya continued to ramble about how guilty he felt and what a bad brother he was. "Your sister will realize you have your reasons." He finally offered; comforting anyone wasn't his strong suit.

"I couldn't even tell her though."

"She'll be upset for now… but she'll come around."

"You really think so?" Katsuya looked up at him. Meeting his eyes, Kaiba was surprised how close to gold the colour of his eyes were even in the ghostly light of the moon. It distracted him, but only momentarily.

"If she really loves you, she'll understand." Kaiba continued; and he meant it. Him and his brother may be at odds at times because of their conflicting egos; but he knew at the end of the day, he and Mokuba would always be there for each other. Kaiba loved his little brother, and he loved him back with equal strength and vigor no matter their age and distance.

"Thanks Kaiba..." Katsuya mumbled, and turned against him to rest the side of his head against his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist in a hug. It didn't necessarily catch Kaiba by surprise, but it was still… odd, because he wasn't used to these gestures from anyone who wasn't Mokuba, and the last time Katsuya had hugged him was when he had been upset after their fight a few weeks back. Still, he was on one of his husband's rare good graces and he wasn't going to set him off again. Begrudgingly, he slowly wrapped his arms over Katsuya in return.

This seemed to placate the blond, enough to make him not only tighten his end of the hug, but rest his head against his chest instead of his shoulder "You feel cold." Katsuya muttered.

Strange he should stay that, because his entire torso felt warm.

Although Kaiba wanted to go back to the mansion, Katsuya wanted to go back to the safehouse; he didn't bother to argue because of all of the effort he had put into calming him down in the first place.

Besides, he could just drive back to the mansion when he dropped him off.

However, Katsuya insisted he stay over so they could 'hang out'. He figured this was the blonds attempts at closeness, which was good enough for Kaiba because at least he wasn't the only one putting some effort into their tumultuous and loveless marriage.

Katsuya had all but dragged him to the couch and turned on the TV. They sat together, but there was a gap between them now, because they both still felt awkward in their shared presence. They were watching some Chinese drama that was an adaptation of some Korean webcomic, thankfully subtitled in Japanese. Kaiba could in fact understand spoken Mandarin for business reasons, but he still had a hard time if he wasn't interacting directly with the speaker.

The long work hours of the day caught up to him not long after he sat down, and his vision became blurry with his heavy eyelids that he could just barely keep open. He slumped where he sat; he should really get up and drive home… but he was really tired, and fatigue was really persistent.

"You could stay over if you want." He heard Katsuya say.

He hummed in response, his eyes were closed "I own this place..." He replied, trying to sound stiff but he was too tired. The other man chuckled; the sound was distant now, and so was the fluttery feeling in his chest.

The loud alarm on his phone went off at six in the morning as it always did. His eyes snapped open and his heart raced momentarily as he struggled to grab his phone from his pocket and turn the annoying alarm off. Groaning quietly from the stiffness in his back, and his arm currently being asleep, Kaiba sat up and looked around; he was still in the safehouse. The hallway light was on and he could hear the sound of a shower running, meaning Katsuya was awake.

He had slept in his work clothes, which wasn't new but it was still uncomfortable, especially with the way his belt bit into his hips at the sides. However, he saw that his peacoat was on a nearby coat rack, he didn't remember taking it off so it was probably Katsuya he took it off him. He was also most likely the one who put the pillow under his head and the blanket over him.

He pulled the blanket off - and saw it had a cord on it that was plugged into the wall. An electric blanket, which explained why he was so warm. He reached over to the temperature control on the cord, it was currently set to three, and shut it off.

He should have a few changes of work clothes here. Perhaps a little outdated from years of abandonment, but sufficient for his workday. He went into the master bedroom portion of the house that Katsuya had essentially taken over and rummaged through the closet, grabbing out a light blue button shirt and black slacks, which he knew his husband couldn't wear because of their differences in size.

He had placed the articles down on the desk and was already fully cooled down when he heard the door opening; he turned his head to see Katsuya walking in the room, he was barefoot and shirtless, wearing a pair of black scrub bottoms, and actively drying his hair with a towel as he walked in. "Good morning." He greeted flatly, wondering why his skin suddenly felt warm again.

"Morning." Katsuya greeted in return, tossing the towel onto the bed and throwing on a long-sleeved beige shirt. "How'd you sleep?"

"I wish I didn't forget my neck massager in my desk." Kaiba replied insipidly, cracking his neck in demonstration.

"You should really consider an ergonomic chair." Katsuya said as he sat on the edge of the bed, clipping his hospital badge and pens onto his scrub top.

"Those yoga ball chairs? You must be joking." He scoffed.

"Not a bad idea," Katsuya chuckled, tucking his beige shirt in before pulling his scrub top over it "I meant a good-quality, adjustable chair, and adjust it for your posture. Your desk chair looks like it came from the seventies."

"Anesthesia is your specialization, not physical therapy."

"Every nurse has to go through advanced anatomy and physiology; trust me, you want a different chair. I don't think whoever produced that chair had anyone over 170 centimeters in mind."

"Whatever," Kaiba dismissed, grabbing a different towel and walked to the bathroom. He locked the door and stripped down, blindly flicking the water tap up. He regretted not checking the temperature tap before he entered the shower; a loud hiss broke from him the second he ducked under the water spray that was so hot it was caustic. "God damn it," He almost growled and slammed his hand onto the cold tap "why does he need the water at a near boil?" He asked himself.

Maybe that was why he was so warm to the touch.

Wait, what was he thinking?

He was going deep in rapid thought throughout his shower; Kaiba'd known since he was thirteen he was gay, but he never… Thought about guys a lot. Or really at all. He knew what conventionally attractive was, but he never really… cared? He knew other people in the same age group were always going on about who was hot or sexy, but he never really understood it. If anything it just confounded him that people were so quick to drop their pants for anything easy on the eyes.

Soon after they met, Kaiba knew that Katsuya was conventionally attractive, but he still didn't care. He was just some loudmouth deadbeat riding Yugi's coat tails. Over their time going through the motions of the Pharaohs adventures, there was only one thing about Katsuya he found interesting, and it wasn't his appearance or sexual appeal; it was his spirit. He had nothing, but he was strong. Yes, he was in Yugi's shadow, and a lot of what he learned came from Yugi and the Pharaoh, but he started from the bottom and chose to make himself stronger through trial and error.

That was something even Yugi couldn't claim; Yugi was always a talented duelist, and even if he wasn't he was boosted by being possessed by the literal King of Games duel spirit. Yugi may have been powerful, but Katsuya made himself powerful.

That was then, though. They split ways after they graduated High School. And Kaiba barely even thought about him through the years, but then they got married at Kaiba's behest, to get other businessmen to leave him alone. He didn't think much of him even during the first several months they were married, other than how annoying his avoidance of him was.

Lately however… he was thinking of Katsuya more.

It was strange, he should have thought his husband was weak after witnessing his shameless display of emotions, time and time again but… weakness never once crossed his mind. If anything, he found it… commendable he was willing to come clean to him about needed boundaries in their relationship in order to maintain their marriage, because he wasn't expecting that from him. He was expecting Katsuya to spend their entire marriage sulking about it and quietly hating him from the shadows, never seeing the marriage as more than it was intended to be, and maybe even less.

The more he thought about Katsuya, the more appealing he seemed to be. Kaiba never cared too much about appearance besides being able to distinguish between what was ugly and what wasn't. Lately, as they spent more time together with their proverbial hair down and had non-antagonistic interactions with each other, Katsuya became more… engaging. Not just in appearance but also in personality; he was so easy to disregard before but now he wasn't.

He was a lot more intelligent than Kaiba initially gave him credit for. He knew he had to be at least somewhat intelligent if he was a nurse anaesthetist, but he was actually really smart. Maybe Kaiba didn't see this when they were younger because back then, Katsuya wasn't applying himself academically, at least for rigorous Japanese Educational standards. His time in America away from his criminal past, away from his dysfunctional family and the demanding dueling scene, he'd blossomed intellectually into someone Kaiba barely even recognized.

And he wasn't even arrogant about it. He was still so casual to everyone. He never talked down to anyone, and he talked to his husband like they were on the same level, like Kaiba was just a regular person and not one of the richest and most intelligent men in Japan; that in itself should have infuriated him, it definitely did when they were younger, but now… now…

Humbling wasn't the right word; Kaiba knew he was at the top of the world, and no one could ground him from up there.

It was, however, strangely alluring.

There were two raps at the door; not knocking, but the type of tapping a medical person would make before entering a patient's room, not upsettingly loud but enough to bring him out of his thoughts. "Hurry up," Katsuya said from the other side of the bathroom "I made breakfast, it'll get cold." He heard his footsteps fade away.

Kaiba ended his shower off with a quick cold rinse - but even after about half a minute under cold spray, he was still felt oddly warm.

To be continued...

Authors note: Kilig is a Tagalog word (National language of the Philippines) with no English equivalent, it basically refers to the feeling you get when you see your crush.

Another chapter in Kaiba's perspective! You may notice that the way Kaiba refers to Jounouchi differs from how Jounouchi refers to him; Jounouchi has only recently come to terms with Kaiba being his spouse, while Kaiba has no problem referring to Jounouchi as his husband. This isn't necessarily because Kaiba's more emotionally invested in their relationship at this point, just that he accepts it.

Speaking of emotional investment, Kaiba's actions here may seem dishonest because he did everything just so their relationship "wouldn't be set back" but he is trying. Remember, his emotional intelligence is slow on the uptake. That, and you can see he at this point does at least like Katsuya, he always had a least a little admiration for him that he would never admit to, because he knows for a fact Jounouchi is strong. After all, Kazuki Takahashi himself said that Kaiba and Yugi were weak compared to Jounouchi.

Kaiba explains himself as gay, but for the sake of this story he is actually Demisexual Homoromantic. He will only experience sexual attraction with someone he has an emotional bond with, and is romantically attracted to other men only. Kaiba doesn't know his exact sexuality because he doesn't care too much about social issues, and instead just put's himself under the generalization of 'gay'.

The Chinese drama mentioned is 'Lookism', based on a Korean Webcomic of the same name that I am currently hyperfixated on.