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Chapter 12

"...lin. Merlin … hear me? Mer… can you …"

Merlin heard the words from somewhere far away, dim and echoey, ringing painfully in his head. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, trying to drown out the sound.

"...lin! An...r me, Merlin!" The voice was frantic now. He struggled to break out of the thick fog swirling around him. It was too hard …"

"Merlin," Arthur hissed urgently, "Please! Open your eyes!"

This seemed important. With an enormous amount of effort, Merlin complied. Arthur sighed in relief as the familiar blue eyes fluttered open. "Merlin, are you alright?" he asked anxiously.

Merlin blinked, disoriented. Then his gaze settled on the person talking.

"No," he moaned weakly, shrinking back, "L-l-leave me a-a-alone."

Arthur stared at him, worried. "Merlin, it's me, it's-"

Merlin shook his head violently back and forth. "You...not real, y-y-you're not real," he chanted, squeezing his eyes shut. "You're … not real … please … please l-l-leave me alone!" he gasped, tears pouring down his face. "I'm s...s-s-sorry, I'm sorry … p-p-please…" He broke off suddenly as he was seized by a coughing fit.

Arthur felt a pang of remorse, that was swallowed quickly by cold hard fury. "What did she do to you?" he murmured, watching the warlock sadly. This is all my fault, he thought.

He waited until Merlin's coughing subsided somewhat, then tried again.

"Merlin?" he said gently. "It's me, Arthur. I'm real. I promise. I came to rescue you."

"No." Merlin whispered. "You're l-l-lying. You're...not...Arthur. Arthur...h...h...hates me. He t-t-told me that he nev… he n-n-never wanted t-t-to see me … again."

"Merlin, it's me," Arthur pleaded, "I said that, I know, but I didn't mean it. I was angry, I was being stupid. Please," he said desperately, when Merlin did not respond. "Please believe me."

Merlin blinked. His eyes slowly focused as he really looked at Arthur for the first time. "Arthur?" he rasped, coughing again.

Arthur nodded. "It's me."

"You … came for me?" he breathed, eyes widening. Arthur nodded again, swallowing another lump in his throat.

"S-s-some … r-r-rescue …" Merlin wheezed. His cracked lips turned up into the ghost of a smile. "G-g-get..ting y-y-yourself c-captured …. Was that … p-part … of the plan?"

"Oh, absolutely," Arthur said, smiling tremulously.

"N-not...one of your … f-f-finest ones, I … have t-t-to say."

Arthur let out a strangled laugh, grateful to Merlin for breaking the ice somewhat. "No, I guess not," he agreed.

Merlin smiled again, and closed his eyes tiredly.

"No," Arthur said quickly, "Stay awake, Merlin. I know you're tired, but try to stay awake." He wasn't sure if it would be safe for Merlin to sleep in the state he was in. Merlin blinked blearily and nodded. But his eyes were already drooping. He shook his head to clear it.

"How …l-l-long have I b-b-been here?" he whispered.

"Nearly two weeks. How are you feeling?" Arthur asked, watching him carefully.

Merlin opened his mouth to speak again, wincing as his rib cage twinged in protest. "Lousy." he croaked.

Arthur grimaced in sympathy. "I know."

He hesitated. "Did you try using … you know …" he said awkwardly, "to escape?"

Merlin sighed. "Of course." He flexed his arms in their chains. Arthur noticed they let off a faint glow. "But I can't. Morgana … enchanted … enchanted the chains. If I use my magic … it attacks me. Inside." he explained. "And the … m-m-more magic I use … the tighter the chains go." Talking seemed to be taking a lot out of him. Arthur waited patiently for him to gather his strength again, noting the flush of fever in Merlin's sunken cheeks.

"I've been t-trying … to weaken them ... " he whispered. "B-but I d...don't always have enough strength." Arthur saw him hesitate. "I can t-t-try again soon, I think," Merlin said, eyeing the chains doubtfully.

Arthur shook his head quickly. "No, don't worry about that right now. Just rest. I'll wake you up every so often," he promised. "I don't think it's good for you to fall in too deep a sleep."

Merlin nodded obediently, closing his eyes. Within moments, his breathing had slowed, and his head drooped down onto his chest.

Arthur leaned back against the wall, closing his own eyes. They would need all their strength for what lay ahead.

"What made you decide to come for me?"

Several hours had passed. The sleep seemed to have done a lot of good for Merlin. His face was less flushed, and his eyes were clearer, more alert. But being more aware meant he was able to ask the questions and start the conversation Arthur had been desperate to avoid.

Merlin waited as Arthur fidgeted.

"You would do the same for me," Arthur mumbled.

"But why now?" Merlin pressed. "And what made you change your mind?"

"A few things," he began. "Gwen, for one. You've gotten me in a lot of trouble with her." Merlin smirked, but underneath it, he looked surprised.

"She wasn't angry at me?"

"You?" Arthur snorted. "Please. She's been coming to me for days, trying to get me to stop being such an idiot."

"Easier said than done."

"I can still throw something at you, Merlin," Arthur said warningly. But he laughed along with Merlin.

"Second?" Merlin prompted.

"Second, everyone except me was willing to trust you. Gwaine and the knights went searching for you, Gaius of course was on your side … and he made me realize what I was really upset about. Come on," he sighed, when Merlin raised an eyebrow questioningly, "You're my friend. We've known each other for years. If you really were evil, or dangerous, you've had your chance to prove it."

"So why?"

"I…" Arthur cleared his throat, stalling. "I thought you didn't trust me," he whispered, meeting Merlin's eyes at last.

Now it was Merlin's turn to laugh. "You really are a dollop head. Why would you think that?"

Arthur smiled, but his eyes looked pained. "Why didn't you ever tell me, Merlin?"

"Is that it?" Merlin asked in disbelief.

"You don't get it," muttered Arthur, looking away so Merlin wouldn't see his wet eyes.

"Try me."

"I'm the king!" he burst out. "There are so few people I can trust, Merlin! Almost everyone has an ulterior motive when it comes to me. There aren't many people I consider friends. But you?" Arthur sighed. "You never sought to promote yourself, or ingratiate yourself. You were just you. And I felt like I could tell you anything. I did, in fact. But you kept the biggest secret of your life from me. For years, Merlin! Why?"

"For one thing, you would've killed me," Merlin pointed out.

"Maybe in the beginning, Arthur countered, "Maybe before I'd known you like I do now. Do you really think I would kill you, Merlin?"

"No, but-"

But Arthur cut him off. "You know what finally made me get up and go after you? I heard you," he choked. "I heard you. In my head. Screaming."

Merlin stared at him, wide-eyed. "I thought I was dreaming," Arthur went on. "At first, I tried to convince myself I was. But then I heard you again. And I was awake. And I couldn't stand the thought of you being in so much pain … because of me." He shook his head. "Merlin, I never could have hurt you. Maybe at one point, long ago. But you never even gave me the chance to prove it."

Merlin sighed. "I didn't want to put you in that position," he confessed. "You're the king. I couldn't ask you to break the rules for me … a servant."

"A friend," Arthur contradicted. He rolled his eyes. "Merlin, will you ever stop being so damn selfless?"

"Arthur," said Merlin, looking at him in mock exasperation, "When do I ever do as I'm told?"

Arthur considered. "Good point." Merlin grinned at him, and Arthur felt lighter than he had in weeks. The cell rang with his laughter and Merlin's weak chuckles.

It was time to address the next matter at hand. Arthur looked at Merlin. "How are we getting out of here?" he asked. "Any ideas?"