Me and Victorya spent a lot of time together, she would come and pick me up from my hospital room and we would just explore the city, usually it would be bland. But having her with me, every experience felt special.

When I was around her, I was enamored by how bubbly and happy she was, because when I was with her, I felt this soft warmth that could only be experienced whenever we were close.

But the fun couldn't last forever as she had to leave to go to see her family, I remember holding her in my arms and promising to wright letters to her until the next time our paths crossed. I was still staying behind because my arm was still in a cast.

I remember wiping her tears away. I could feel my heart beat faster as her face went up to my own. When I kissed her, I knew that everything for a second in my heart was fine. All the bad emotions like sadness, anger, jealousy was eliminated.

But as I waited and stared into her blue eyes, I saw something that I had never realized before. Even when she cried, she was still beautiful. Then when I kissed her, as our lips touched, she blossomed like a flower as even when we pulled away our bodies were still around each other.

There wasn't really anything to do without her here, most of the time I was just moping and dealing with the issues of having only one good arm, for a while I began to understand how tough Anes had it. He probably struggled every day to do things that normal people would call easy.

Just drawing and writing in that journal, was the only thing that was keeping me sane from boredom.

Sometimes when I was lying in bed, I would flip back a couple of pages seeing that black and white sketch of Victorya. I would go back to it sometimes to add on to her features, and sometimes it just felt reassuring to look at.

I wish I sketched her when she was smiling, it was very quiet in the hospital without her here to break the silence. But one day the nurses told me that I had a phone call from somebody, I was expecting Anes because I haven't written to Victorya yet.

I slung the phone off the cord as I pressed my ear towards it, I was expecting Anes to yell at me for me not telling him about my injury or redeployment to the Rhine.

"Hey Frank" Victorya said, there was a lot of loud noises on the other side of the phone but I was still smiling that I got to hear her voice.

"Victorya, how...have you been?" I stuttered, it felt weird talking to her after all this time

"I've been fine Frank, how have your injuries been." she asked, just hearing her voice was able to melt my heart

My arm was fine but ever since the day we parted, I just wanted to be near her. It felt strange and whiny to complain to her how much I missed her, but that was just how I felt when I heard her voice.

I leaned against the wall and stared out through the window, a pair of red birds perched themselves on the fountain outside the hospital... "I'm fine, I might be out of here in a little while."

"That's great, listen I can't be on here for that long. Some of the other guys are waiting to call their families also…"

"Wait Victorya, where are you now?" I asked, wait wasn't she supposed to be on vacation

"No, I volunteered for the 203rd" she said

The 203rd mage battalion was a secret battalion that was comprised of mages, I only knew about it because certain military officials wanted me to join. But due to my arm I was not allowed for combat until it fully healed. It's been a whole month now and I still have another to go until I would be placed back into the field.

The strange thing was how there were flyers everywhere to join that battalion, but I was one of the only ones that was recommended by the major in charge of the battalion. And I wasn't stupid enough to not realize who that was.

"Did Tanya...recommended you." I asked, there was no way in hell that Victorya would join after reading that flyer

"No, I joined on my own accord."

"What is wrong with you Victorya!" I screamed into the telephone; I could hear footsteps scuffle away in the telephone. I was probably disrespecting her right in front of her soldiers.

I couldn't imagine why she would do it; I was recommended to join the battalion but after seeing the flyer I instantly rejected the offer.

"Low pay...barely any food...immense danger...and don't forget your fighting on the most dangerous fronts of the war Victorya!"

"Frank relax!" she yelled

"But for honor and respect...it doesn't matter right, even though you might get blown to bits or die a painful death. But for the fatherland that's worth the cost right." I sneered

There was a quietness on the phone, I could see her in my head. Just looking deep into the telephone as she tried to figure out what to say. I could even picture her moving the hair out of her eyes.

"You think those cocksuckers at command gives a shit, they would send me and Tanya through hell and back to give us just a hunk of medal for our troubles."

"Frank you need to relax." she began to whisper into the telephone, I could even hear the uneasiness in her voice

What I said was borderline treasonous, I needed to relax for a second so I wouldn't end up against the wall from a firing squad.

As I felt my body unstiffen, I began to talk calmly to her, I even took a deep breath. "Victorya, why would you put yourself in such danger?" I asked her

"Tanya saved my life; I also need to prove to myself…"

"Prove what? You were drafted, you never enlisted. Me and Tanya don't have a choice, but you do. Listen I will go over there and I will enlist for the battalion...there is no way in hell that I am going to leave you alone."

"No, Frank it is already too late, we are going to be spending a whole month of training and your injuries with be fixed by the time the month is over. By then it is already going to be too late, maybe you can try later" she affirmed

I wanted to help, I wanted to protect her and be her shield. But now with this cask I was banned from doing that. I wanted her to live a long life. Even if I died, I wanted her to live, I didn't want to find her somewhere in the Rhine by her dog tags, because the rest of her was blown to smithereens.

I rested my back against the wall, it felt strange to talk to her like this. A while ago, me and her were kissing on a park bench, she even knew what my heart felt like. But now we were just arguing.

"Frank, this might be the last time that we talk for a while, the major doesn't want us to talk to the outside world for the whole month so that includes letters. I am going to miss you and I love…" I even heard her began to lightly sob on the phone, I slammed the telephone back where I found it and began to walk back towards the hospital room.

I threw myself on the bed and began to cry into the cast, I really was pathetic. Victorya was trying to get me to understand her reasoning, instead I made her feel bad about herself. I should have supported her but instead I could only think about myself and my own feelings.

She was even beginning to cry because me and her were both not going to talk for a whole month, and I slammed the telephone off. For all I knew she could die during the training and that would be our last encounter with each other...

She was even telling me how she loved me, but I shut the phone off before I could tell her that I loved her back. She probably saw the real me now, the robotic only thinking about himself Frank was the one talking to her.

I finally found someone that I cared about, as I closed my eyes to blink away the tears I began to see her face. It was blurry but I could still see her, how much I longed to hold her and tell her how I was sorry for making her cry.

For a second I could feel her warmness spread around me, her scent was on the tip of my nose. It felt so powerful that for a second I thought she was with me.

"Victorya" I hummed as I tried my best to not break into more sobbing

My place was probably with her, I was too idiotic to even realize it. But when I realized it...she was already gone...and now I probably lost her for good, why did I have to realize it...the moment I made her cry...

I should have told her that I loved her, after the phone call all I did was stay under my covers and pray for sleep. Sleep would take me to a place that would not be here, a place that would make me travel to a whole new world.

Until I was awoken with horrible news, before I knew it, I was heading to Anes estate where a tear streaked Clare was sitting on the couch.

I didn't even greet her as I barged into their room to see Anes, he was laying in bed and for a second I thought he was dead. His eyes slowly opened as they began to observe me as I pulled a seat from a nearby desk to prop against his bed.

"Anes, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you and Clare about what happened." I panted

He looked at me strangely as he began to nod his head, could he even speak? He was only fifty years old and he looked over one hundred. His body looked seriously ill, it even looked like it strained him to keep his eyes open.

"What happened?" I asked as I gripped his hand, this didn't make sense what happened to him

"Lung is bad." Anes mumbled, he began to cough violently as he uttered those words

I gave him water as I began to explain to him the adventures I had at the laboratory and my redeployment at the Rhine, for most of it he just stared and listened to what I was saying.

"So, you really found somebody, you know that me and her uncle are friends" Anes chuckled

"Yeah, but I probably messed it up, I won't be able to talk to her for a whole month now to smooth things over."

Anes looked at me as he placed his hand on his chest, for a second I thought I could see the gears turn in his head as he tried to find the correct words to say.

"Frank, if she really loves you, she will take these words to heart for what they meant. You were trying to protect her, but you still made her cry, there might be a chance that she might not forgive you."

I knew this fact, but at the same time I just didn't want to admit to myself of how she might just never forgive me. Or for all I knew she might have forgotten all about the situation a while ago and me and her were all good.

For a while he fell back to sleep and I stood by his side like that time we had to protect the trench. I wished I spent more time with him and Claire, I wished that I just took their advice and just left the military.

"Frank." he muttered

"Yes"

"Me and Claire are getting old and when I go it will be Claire's turn soon, we lost Tom our only son but me and Claire, with the time we spent with you it was able to slowly heal our wounds."

"Thanks...but you're not finished."

"You can heal deep wounds but like that scar you have on your shoulder; they never go away. Maybe when you get older you will forget the ones you lost; it doesn't mean that things will go back to the way they were." he finished

I thought about what he said, was he trying to say how overtime deaths that I have experienced will be hard at first but overtime I would have to get over them. But he eerily said how things would never get back to normal.

"Claire and me want to give you everything. The estate, the money, the boat…"

"The boat!"

"Yes, even the boat." Anes chuckled

This was amazing, they were treating me like I was their own flesh and blood, but this was strange. They were preparing for when they die, and in Anes words he said it was any day now.

Anes snoring cued me in that he was asleep as I went over to speak to Claire. It was mostly the same conversation that me and Anes had except for Claire bothering me about my hair.

"Let me cut it!" she yelled as she began to chase me around with a pair of scissors.

"No, I like it this way!" I screamed back

"You look like a sheep, it's so fuzzy" she said as she began to give up, afterwards she ran her fingers through the locks of curly hair, she just kept muttering to herself how I would just need a brush to help clean it up.

After that I stayed at the estate making sure that Claire wasn't overworking herself and to give Anes company. I took over a lot of his duties, paying bills, cleaning, garbage, dealing with people, etc.

It felt good to help Claire and Anes, it was after a long day of shopping with Claire that I saw Anes door open and an unfamiliar man come out.

He was wearing the empire's military uniform but his uniform was decorated with multiple medals and badges, I always wondered if wearing all that metal would cause your body to weigh down on you just like the A.P.A armor did to me.

I could tell he was friend of Anes because Claire wasn't worried about him, she seemed to even be ecstatic that he came, he walked down the stairs to greet Claire as the pair hugged, I walked into the kitchen and began to store everything away as the two began to talk.

I was barely able to pick up on there conversation, the only thing I was able to pick up on was something about command and a certain battalion. Wait did something bad happen to Victorya, did she get hurt or worse killed during training, so they sent somebody to come and talk with me.

I gulped as I heard my name called as I sat down on the couch, Claire got up and began to make tea for us as the man observed me.

"Frank, Anes speaks very highly of you." the man said

"Yeah, I guess, who are you anyway?" I asked, this was way too blunt looking back on it now. The number of medals he had shown the amount of distinction and credibility he had on his family name. So, me asking what his name or rather rank was pretty disrespectful for somebody like me.

He was caught off guard, as he took his hat off his head and began to lightly scratch his head as he began to think of something to say.

"Rerugin, and Frank let's cut to the chase" he bluntly said

"Okay." I shrugged my shoulders

"You have to join the 203rd battalion, also we are going to be needing you to wright highly truthful reports for me and my colleagues I under…" he was saying right before I cut him off

"No… also why do I have to write reports, if I do something to get the 203rd in trouble than I could get my lover in trouble. Also, they are nearing the end of their training and they aren't needing any new members" I bluntly said, I even heard Claire gasp from the kitchen, I really was being rude

Rerugin looked at me as he mumbled something to himself, he even lit himself a cigarette

"I need you to write reports for me so we can monitor the major, I want to make sure that what she is doing is sane and legal. There are many people that feel that she shouldn't have a commanding role in the army, I am one of those people. If you agree to do this then I will agree to place you in the 203rd so you can be with Victorya."

"The major, you mean Tanya, right?" I asked, the face he made looked like he was completely done with existence.

"Holy crap, Anes told me you just didn't understand people. Or are you just stupid!" he yelled; I really couldn't blame him for getting mad

"Maybe a bit of both, listen I will do it but you can't let Victorya get in trouble."

"Depends...you can reach me at this number or mail me at his address." he said as he handed me a slip of paper.

He gave me and Claire quick goodbyes as he left the house, like he didn't want to be seen with us.

Five Days Later

I began to pack my bags, yesterday I got a call from the doctor. Turns out he fixed the armor and he wanted to test it at the laboratory before I went to go see the 203.

Until I saw Anes shamble into my room I was perfectly focused on packing, he looked drunk the way he walked in but I knew better. He had shelves stocked with alcohol, but I had never seen him have a drink, sometimes when I was feeling sad about Victorya I would sneak in there and take a couple gulps from that shit.

It was a habit that I knew I shouldn't get into.

"Frank, are you leaving?"

"Yeah I got a call from the doctor, so I have to leave early, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you." I apologized

Claire warned me to not tell Anes what happened due to him being already sick, when I first heard the news, he was snoring away so he probably would of had a heart attack if I told him now. For the first time in a while he was finally at peace, he also had a strange wooden box tucked under his arm.

He motioned me to follow him as he began to awkwardly walk towards his garage, I clicked on the lights to see a small space and in the middle, something was covered in a white blanket.

"I can't use this anymore; you can't really balance anything without two hands." he mumbled as he propped the box on a nearby chair as he ripped the blanket off.

A motorcycle, no wonder he said he couldn't balance this. But the strange thing was how I lived on the estate for months and I never heard about it.

"Why are you showing this to me now, most of the time I always got a ride…" I questioned

"It was Toms, and now it's yours." Anes bluntly said as he handed me the keys

I wanted to refuse; they were going to give up a part of their son for me. I had no idea how I was supposed to feel about this. A part of me didn't even know what was going through Anes head.

But I still accepted the keys, and Anes walked over towards the wooden box and unlocked it for me.

A worn-down revolver, I had no words to say. The thing was clean, had a sleek steel finish to the gun, and a wooden grip.

"Anes I can't accept this."

"Me and Claire are old, we don't have an heir. But when we were with you, we both felt that we could become parents again." Anes smiled for the first time in a while, he probably thought of me as a second son.

I hugged him, he was startled but wrapped his arm around me and began to lightly pat me on the back. I could hardly remember my father from my past life, but when I was with Anes he seemed to be the closest thing that I ever had to a father.

He walked away after the hug, giving me a solemn goodbye as I began to adjust the bag onto my back. Until I heard faint footsteps begin to once again head down the stairs, it was Claire holding something in both of her hands.

"We found these in Tom's room." she said as she handed me the things, it was a pair of goggles and a dark bandana.

"Why am I going to need these?" I asked

"Do you want to crash from the sun being too bright or eat bugs when you have your mouth open." She bluntly said, she was even scolding me like I was her own son.

I shook my head no as I began to adjust them around my face. "Take these gifts as early Christmas presents."

"Oh wait Christmas is going to land on the day I arrive when I meet the 203rd. I should of have gotten Victorya a present." I mumbled on as Claire's voice dropped

"Wait, who is Victorya?" she said as she grabbed both of my shoulders

I began to explain to her about the time we spent together, I even told her about the argument that we had.

"I don't really know what to get her, maybe I should give her flowers or something?" I asked Claire as I began to wheel out the bike out of the garage.

"Frank wait here." she said as she shot back into the house, I waited for what felt like forever, but I didn't even budge before I saw her shoot back.

She was holding a ring, not even a plain one but had a diamond on it.

"Frank this has been in our family for years, I have to ask you this before I give this to you. Do you truly love this girl?"

I didn't know what to say, sure I enjoyed spending time with her and there was a part of me that loved her.

"Yes, I love her." I said bluntly as she handed me the ring

After that I wished Claire told me how she gave me a normal ring, not an engagement ring as I began to ride off into the long stretching highway towards the mad Doctors laboratory.