Ultrasound
"I don't know why I'm so nervous?" Olivia said to no one in particular. She was sitting in the waiting room at an imaging center between Abby and Fitz. The three of them were waiting for Olivia's parents to show up for the ultrasound of the baby. The older Popes weren't late, Olivia had made Abby and Fitz drive her to the center an hour early because she was so anxious to get there.
Fitz gently squeezed her hand. "You're the mommy. You're allowed to be nervous if you want to."
Olivia looked up at Fitz, gave him a smile, and watched him lick his lips before leaning towards her and touching his mouth to hers. She rested her head against his shoulder and exhaled slowly. She was still anxious, although not quite as much as earlier, but she also couldn't imagine being more content than she was right now.
And then her parents walked through the door.
"Oh, hey! It's Momma and Poppa Pope!" Abby exclaimed getting to her feet.
Olivia lifted her head and slowly got to her feet to greet them. The water in her bladder wasn't too happy with the movement. "Hey, you two." She hugged them both and then reached behind her for Fitz's hand, which he took and then came to stand beside her. The nerves were radiating off him, so Olivia put her other hand on top of their joined ones. "Momma, daddy, this is Fitz. Fitz, these are my parents, Aaron and Marie Pope."
Fitz took a step closer, smiled, and extended his right hand. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Pope."
Marie inspected him from head to toe. Sure, he was handsome and tall and had a great smile. But would he be there for her baby when she needed him? Would he be patient and kind and supportive? And how would he be when the new baby arrived? The baby that wasn't even his? She wondered if...
"Nice to meet you, Fitz." Aaron said shaking the young man's hand with a smile.
"Nice to meet you, Sir. Livvie has told me so much about both of you."
Marie cut her eyes up to his blue ones and scowled. "Livvie?" She spat out.
"Momma!" Olivia warned quietly. "It's fine."
"She's right, Liv." He didn't want to cause chaos in Olivia's family. Especially today. "Your name isn't Livvie."
"Hers isn't Ree Ree either, but that's what I call her." Aaron cut in with a grin.
"Aaron Pope!" Marie exclaimed with a shocked expression.
"Leave the boy alone, Ree. He's given Olivia a nickname. It's no big deal, and not a reason for you to start in." He winked at his daughter.
"It's nice to meet you, Marie" Fitz offered meekly with a smile and an extended hand.
Marie looked down at his hand and broke into a grin. "you've been dating Olivia long enough to know that we are huggers. Welcome to the family."
Fitz grinned and went into her open arms. He was about to ask her what she meant by 'welcome to the family' but a nurse behind them called out, "Olivia Pope?"
Everyone turned around and Olivia said, "that's me" before leading the way towards the door.
"Hello, Olivia. My name is Terri. Is everyone here going to be joining us for the ultrasound this afternoon?"
Olivia made momentary eye contact with each person in their group. She couldn't imagine any of them not being here. Her eyes fell back on Terri. "I know it's a crowd, but yes, everyone is coming in with me. I hope that's alright?"
"Of course," Terri happily chirped in reply. She held the door open until everyone was on the other side of it. She gave a polite smile and led the way to another door, where she again held it open for everyone. "Did we lose anyone?"
"We seem to be all counted for." Marie assured her. Terri and Fitz helped Olivia take the step up and then turn around so she could sit on the edge of the exam table. She kicked her sandal clad feet back and forth as she sat there. Fitz stayed at her side and had no intentions of moving. "There are a few things to keep in mind today. I know you are all here as a support to the mom and dad, but you need to keep in mind that this is a medical exam and should be treated as such. We will be measuring the baby and looking at his or her major organs to make sure they are functioning properly. Once all of that is done, then we'll see if baby is in a co-opperative mood to reveal him or herself."
"It's so exciting" Abby said in a giddy voice.
"Be careful about getting your hopes up too high. Sometimes baby isn't willing to let us see what the sex is. It can be disappointing if that happens, so just keep in mind when the time comes that it might not happen. Now, the sonographer will be in here in a few minutes."
Less than two minutes later, the door opened shutting down all excited conversation between the five people inside. The man looked around and smiled brightly. "Wow. What a fun group. My name is Harrison and I'm your sonographer today. The nurse told me that she already gave you the spiel about looking at and measuring the important stuff before we attempt to see if we are dealing with a boy or girl. Is that correct?"
Everyone nodded.
"Do you want to know what the sex of the baby is, mom?" Harrison asked Olivia.
Olivia nodded. "If he or she is in a cooperating mood, then yes please."
"Okay then. Let's get you to lay down on the exam table and get this party started." Harrison told her. He pulled the bottom of her shirt up to reveal her stomach. Grabbing a tube of gel from a cart where the monitor was at, he warned her that it might be cold on her belly and then proceeded to squeeze some on her. Within seconds of Harrison moving the transducer across her belly, a thumping sound filled the room.
Fitz looked down at Olivia with concerned eyes.
"That's your baby's heartbeat, dad." Harrison told Fitz.
Fitz opened his mouth to correct him, but Harrison began talking about what they were seeing on the monitor. He looked down at Olivia and mouthed the words, I'm sorry. She squeezed his hand in reply.
A grainy black and white image appeared on the monitor and a moment later, Olivia's baby could be seen. She let out a small sound of shock and covered her mouth quickly with her eyes glued to what she was seeing. "Is that...?"
"Yep. That's your baby, mom. Cool huh?" Harrison asked with a smile. "That's the head. Your little one has a great profile already."
She nodded silently as tears started to fill her eyes, blurry them slightly.
"Okay, I'm going to take some measurements now." Harrison clicked on something and the grainy video stopped suddenly, and a small white arrow appeared on the screen. Olivia watched mesmerized as she watched the sonographer measure her baby's head.
"Is his head measuring the right size?" she asked in a worried voice.
"Him huh? Is that your guess?" he asked.
"It is." Olivia told him without looking away from the monitor.
"We'll see if you're right soon enough. For right now, I have to tell you that I'm not a doctor, so I'm not allowed to answer any questions about the sonogram. Your doctor will look over the pictures and go over the results at your next visit." The video began to move again, and Harrison moved the cursor in a circle around something that was flicking. "Do you know what that is?"
"The baby's heart?"
"That's right. It's strong and steady too. That's good." he assured her. He moved the transducer over her belly and once again stopped the video with a click of the mouse.
Olivia tilted her head to try to figure out what it was that Harrison was looking at. The white arrow was back. With a few clicks, a dotted line was on the screen and Harrison typed the word foot on the monitor. "That's his foot?" She asked in pure adoration.
"Look at that!" Fitz whispered. "it's amazing."
The video began to move once again and with a slight move on her belly, Harrison stopped the video and took a measurement of something sticking up.
"Is that his...?" Aaron asked with his head cocked to the side to see better.
"Arm? Yes." Harrison told him with a grin.
Everyone laughed at the error.
"Look at that perfect little hand." Olivia said with a sniff. "I can't wait to feel it wrap around my finger."
Fitz rubbed circles on her hand. He was completely astonished at what he was seeing and hearing.
"Okay, moment of truth." Harrison announced as movement started on the video once again. He moved the transducer over Olivia's belly and mumbled, "let's see if this little one will cooperate for us today. He moved it to the right, a little to the left, slightly down, and held the device in place as he stopped the screen. Harrison looked over his shoulder at the group of teary eyed people in the room. God, he loved his job. "Who promises to buy this little one an outfit today if I tell you without a doubt what the sex is?"
Five hands immediately went up in the air.
He grinned at them before turning back to the screen. As he typed the words showed up on the screen It's a girl
Olivia was quietly still staring at the screen.
Abby got to her feet and let out a whoop of joy.
Aaron grinned proudly and then hugged his wife, who was crying. "A little girl, Ree. This is perfect."
"It's a good thing we know a few things about little girls. She will make Olivia so happy."
"I expect all of you to hold up your end of the bargain and buy this little girl some pretty things." Harrison told them as he wiped the gel off her belly and helped her sit up. "Congratulations, both of you."
"Thank you so much," Olivia told Harrison before he walked out the door. She wiped her eyes and stepped down to the floor.
"That was amazing, Liv. Thank you for letting me come be a part of this. I love you." Fitz told her.
She smiled up at him and brushed a tear away from his cheek. "I love you too, Fitz."
He leaned down and kissed her as the other three people in the room watched with shy smiles. The spectators all same the same thought going through their minds. Fitz and Olivia and the unborn baby were going to make one hell of a great family.
The five people gathered their things and waited while Olivia emptied her overly full bladder before walking out to the parking lot together. "What do you have planned today, Olivia?" Aaron asked.
She faked a yawn and said, "I'm going to go home and lay down for a while."
He, along with everyone else in the little group was surprised by her answer, but no one said anything about it. Well, except Aaron. He pulled his daughter in for a hug and when he had her close asked her, "are you alright, lil bit? You don't seem like yourself right now."
Olivia held him tightly and willed the tears to go away, or at least wait a while longer. Swallowing the lump in her throat she tried to sound upbeat as she replied, "I'm fine, dad. Just tired. I'll be alright after a little nap."
He pulled out of the embrace and looked Olivia in the eye. He saw the lie and the way she was having a hard time making it believable for him. He wondered why she was trying so hard. He'd check on her later on to make sure she was feeling better, and if her answers didn't settle his mind, he'd be getting the address from Abby and making a drive to their house. Looking at Fitz, Aaron said, "this young lady needs to rest a little while."
"I'll take care of both of them." Fitz promised her dad. Once he and Liv were in his car and the air conditioning started doing its job, he left the parking lot.
She was quiet in the car, keeping her eyes closed in hopes to avoid conversation with him. Olivia had a pretty good idea that he could tell something was up with her even if he didn't know exactly what it was. They drove past the road the house she and Abby shared was on, but still she said nothing, assuming he was taking her to the hotel. She closed her eyes again.
A while later, when she felt the car come to a stop, Olivia opened her eyes. She was surprised to see that Fitz had brought them to the ocean. He got out of the car, came around to her side, and opened the door for her. She took off her shoes, leaving them on the floorboard of the car. Without a word, he took her hand and together they began walking leisurely towards the water. Fitz knew the news about the baby's gender probably was the reason behind Olivia's silence. It was the moment when she clammed up, he remembered. He also knew that it would take time for her brain to come to terms with having a daughter instead of the son she just knew was growing inside of her. She wouldn't love her daughter any less than the son she assumed she was expecting, but the surprise needed to be processed. He felt at a loss, not knowing how to navigate this path he'd never been on before. He decided to remain quiet and let her work it out for herself, but to be there if she wanted to talk.
It was a gorgeous sunny day. The water was the perfect color blue, the sky was cloudless, and the sun felt warm. The part of the beach they were on wasn't familiar to Olivia and she didn't see any people, but she didn't care. Her mind and heart were both feeling heavy with all the thoughts and emotions rolling around inside.
The moment their feet hit the warm soft sand near the water, Olivia burst into tears and covered her face with her hands. Her head leaned against his chest and he put his arms around her and just held on. When she was finally all cried out, she pulled away from him and turned to face the water, embarrassed by her emotional outburst.
"Hey. Liv. Please don't." Fitz said softly. "Don't shut me out. I know you're upset, and that's okay. But I'm here and I wanna help."
She turned to face him. Her make up was slightly smeared and her eyes were red. "I can't believe I'm this upset because my baby isn't a boy. I should be thrilled beyond belief that she's healthy, not male, and will be that much less of a reminder of her father, but I can't quite get my head around it. And if that wasn't bad enough, I'm embarrassed for feeling that way. It's very confusing." She started to cry again, wishing anything that she felt made some kind of sense.
Fitz took her hand once more and plopped down on the sand, pulling Olivia into his lap. They watched the waves crash for a while in silence before he spoke to her. "You had your heart set on a son. So much so, that you didn't allow thoughts of a daughter to enter the equation. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Yes, there is. Don't you see, Fitz. I didn't just have my heart set on a son, I knew it was a boy. I knew it with every fiber of my being. So, when that man typed that it was a girl, I felt like a fool."
"Why? Because you guessed wrong? You're hardly the only woman in the world who..."
"No! I felt like a fool because if I got something so basic wrong after believing it was right for so long, what kind of mother am I going to be to her? I feel like I don't know what I'm doing! That every decision I make is going to be the wrong one from now on because I couldn't even get the gender right."
"Liv, I think you're being too hard on yourself."
"What kind of mother doesn't even entertain the thought of the other fifty percent though? It's all gonna go to shit from here isn't it?" She sniffed and tried to keep the damned tears at bay but was losing that fight too.
His hands came around her and settled on her firm little belly. He started rubbing circles lightly with his fingertips against her skin. "Do you remember what I told you the night we ate ice cream and talked outside about everything on our minds? The night I came back?"
She shrugged and leaned back against his chest. "You said a lot of things."
"I told you that this baby is lucky to have you for its mother. That you were going to be a great mother. That you were fierce and protective, and it showed. Do you remember that?"
Olivia nodded.
"You are not the first mother to guess the sex of her baby wrong, so stop punishing yourself over it. You had a fifty fifty chance of being right. Guess what? You won't be the last mother to do it either. And all of those women went on to raise their kids just fine."
"How do you possibly know that?" Olivia asked, feeling a little better already.
"I...just do." he nodded once. When he heard her giggle, Fitz knew the majority of her guilt was subsiding. "You really are an amazing mother, Livvie."
"But she's not even here yet."
"That's a technicality. She's healthy and thriving in there, and that's because you are taking such good care of her. Be proud of yourself and give yourself a break sometimes. You are killing it at this mommy thing. I'm really proud of you and she will be too when she gets here because she's a part of you."
Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He made some good points. He knew exactly where to bring her to calm her down the fastest. And he waited for her to talk about it, instead of pushing things just to get answers to settle his own mind. He was kind of a wonder. She turned slightly on his lap, putting her arms around his neck. "Thank you. I don't know how you do it, but you know exactly what do say and do to calm me down."
"I feel like I've known you much much longer than I actually have. It's difficult to explain. But I meant what I said in that room."
"Which part?" He reached a hand up and cupped her cheek, holding her hair that was being wildly blown away from her face.
"The part where I said that I love you."
She smiled at him. "I meant it when I said I love you back." She moved her head closer to his until their lips connected in a sweet kiss. Within moments, the two of them were lying on the soft sand with their mouths still connected. Olivia broke the kiss, touching her fingers to her lips in embarrassment. She giggled and said, "we need to stop before someone sees us. That would be embarrassing."
"No one is going to see us here, Livvie."
Very slowly, Olivia sat up and looked around. He was right There weren't any people on the beach. It was very unusual for a beautiful day like today. She looked both to the left and right to make sure she wasn't missing something. Her eyes landed on his, and she noticed a playful expression on his face. "Fitz?"
"Liv?" he teased.
"Where are we?"
He looked around with a funny expression on his face before stating the obvious. "At the beach."
"Where are the people that normally crowd the beach on a day like today?"
"They are at the beach, but they aren't here."
"Why aren't they here?"
"Because this is private property."
Her eyes went wide, and she got to her feet as quickly as she could. She held out a hand in his direction. "Then we gotta go."
He grinned at her. "If you say so. We've got things to do anyways."
"Like what?" she asked with disbelief.
"We've got to get this little girl something pink. We promised. And we need to start on a list of names for her."
Olivia took his hand once more. She had no idea how she had found Fitzgerald Grant III, but she wasn't letting him go.
When I was pregnant with my third child, I just KNEW it was a girl. I mean, I knew it in my bones! The day I had my ultrasound and found out it was a boy, I felt the same things Olivia mentioned in this chapter. And from the day that kid was born, he was the boyest boy who every boyed! Sorry for the pink surprise, but she could never have been a boy in my mind.