TW: internalised homophobia, self hate, body issues

(A/N): Last chapter before a big time jump...get excited!

Connor sadly smiled at Eddie, "I'm gonna miss you."
"I'll miss you too."

It was Eddie's eighteenth birthday. He was finally leaving, but he was no longer how he used to be. He'd become self conscious of his body, personality and sexual preference. He always walked hunched over with his arms covering his stomach. He didn't join in conversations unless someone was talking to him directly and he didn't even like thinking about how he liked men. Connor had noticed Eddie's change in personality, but when he asked if he wanted to talk, Eddie freaked and went mute for a few days. The memory of Richie had never gone away and he hated it. He was hoping Richie hadn't come to pick him up so he could just leave with the creepy man he'd met months before to wherever he wanted to go.

"Goodbye, Connor. Thank you for being so nice me."
"I hope I get to see you again soon, bye, Eddie."

Eddie smiled and picked up his back pack. He slipped it on over his shoulders and was about to turn around, but Connor pulled him into a hug. Eddie hesitated, but hugged him back. Eddie patted him in the back, telling Connor that that was enough. Connor stepped back and smiled. Eddie nodded and turned around and walked out of the dorm room. He walked by himself down the halls feeling grateful he'd never have to walk through them again. He walked down a few flight of stairs to the bottom floor. He saw Mrs Spader standing by the entrance with Mr Ellingham. She nodded at him and the man walked out and towards the car.

Eddie took a deep breathe and walked down the hall towards her. His heart started pounding in his chest. He was absolutely terrified of Mrs Spader. When he made it to the end of the hallway, she began speaking.

"Mr Ellingham is waiting for you in the car," her eerily monotone voice filled the air, "I hope you enjoyed your stay here."
"Thank you, Mrs Spader," he hesitated as he headed towards the front door.

Eddie walked out and two security guards blocked the door. He looked back for a second and they nodded towards the car in sync like robots. He quickly turned around and wrapped his arms around his stomach tighter. Eddie nervously fumbled with the sides of his shirt and walked towards the car. He got in and put his bag next to him.

"Are we going to Derry?" Mr Ellingham asked.
"No. Please just take as far away from that place as possible."
"Alright."

Mr Ellingham put his foot on the accelerator and drove the complete opposite way to Derry. Eddie slipped his dog tag off for the first time in weeks and shoved it in his bag. didn't know where he was going, but he didn't want to. Eddie was ashamed of everything about himself and he was hoping that a fresh start away from his old life he didn't remember would somehow help. He was ready to start his new life away from everyone and everything.

Richie was in Beverly's room. The pair were braiding each other's hair, painting their nails and talking about new music. Richie had been on edge all day, more than usual, but whenever she asked him if he wanted to talk about it, the boy just shook his head and changed the subject.

"Have you heard Matchbox Twenty's new song? I'm obsessed!" Richie exclaimed.
"3AM right?"
"Yeah."
"Rob Thomas has a great voice. Do you know any of their other songs?"
"I don't know if they have any."

Beverly put the nail polish brush back into the pot and screwed the lid on.

"All done," she smiled, "when it dries you're doing mine."
"Of course I will, Bevvie."
"Have you talked to Stan yet?"
"No," Richie shook his head slightly, "have you asked Ben out yet?"
"Hey!"
"What?"
"That's off topic."
"So was the Stan thing."
"How are you?"

Richie leant back against the backboard of Beverly's bed and sighed.

"If I'm being honest, not great. It's Eddie's birthday today."
"I noticed you took your dog tag off."

Richie looked down for a second and Beverly moved to sit next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and he smiled at her.

"I just need to stop holding on to hope that he still wants me."
"He's coming back today, right?"
"I don't think so. Do you have any smokes?"
"Yeah," she got up and walked over to her drawers.

Richie watched as she took a fake bottom out of her drawers and pulled out a box of Marlboros.

"I thought you quit."
"I only quit for Eddie. I started again."

Beverly walked over and held the box out for Richie.

"If you're gonna smoke, sit at my window. Don't need my aunt finding out."
"Aye aye captain," Richie winked.

He took the box and got up. He walked over to her window and lifted it up fully. He sat on the window sill and took a cigarette out the box. He looked over to Beverly to ask her for a lighter, but she immediately threw one at him. He caught it and smiled as he placed a cigarette between his teeth.

"Tell me about Ben."

Richie lit the cigarette and inhaled for what seemed like forever. He took the cigarette out of his mouth, held it out the window and blew the smoke in that same direction.

"Yesterday he took me bowling," she laid down on her bed.

She laid with her chin in her hands smiling at the trashmouth. He knew she had a specific smile that as reserved for whenever they talked about Ben. Beverly wouldn't admit it, but she was in love. She'd admit her feeing for Ben to anyone, but him and it was obvious to everyone that Ben felt the same, but none of them were brave enough to tell each other.

"And he let me win. I've seen him go bowling before and he was an absolute legend, but he let me win."
"That's cute," Richie smiled, replacing the cigarette between his teeth.
"He then took me to the Aladdin and we saw The Lion King."
"I don't know how you can't see this because you saw it with Stan and Bill and me and Eds, but Haystack is in love with you."
"You're only saying that because you have to."
"I don't have to say anything."

Richie smiled and put out his cigarette. Beverly rolled off her bed and handed him the bin.

"I reckon my nails are dry now. What colour do you want?"
"Mmmmm, red."
"Red nails coming right up."

Richie plopped himself down on the bed and searched through Beverly's bag of nail polish. He pulled out a pale red bottle and a dark red bottle and held them both up.

"What one?"
"The dark one," she smiled.

Beverly sat down across from Richie. The trashmouth unscrewed the lid and pulled the brush out.

"Hand please."

Beverly held her hand out and Richie grabbed it softly. He began painting her nails and she smiled at him.

"I'm surprised you didn't go to pick up Eddie."
"Why would I? He doesn't care about me or any of us anymore so there's no point."
"You should talk to Stan. If you're going to college together, you can't ignore him."
"Can we please talk about something else?"
"He misses you."
"Bev."
"Right, sorry."
"It's fine. Other hand."

Richie let go of Beverly's hand and she held out the other one. Beverly admired her freshly painted nails. Richie had painted them perfectly.

"How are you so good at this?"
Richie shrugged, "I dunno because my hands are always shaking like crazy."
"They're not right now."
"I know, it's weird. Tell me more about your date with Ben."
"It wasn't a date."
"Uh huh, right."
"It wasn't!"
"Okay, okay."

There was a long silence before either of them spoke again.

"I think I love him," Beverly spoke quietly.
"And there it is ladies and gentlemen! She's officially the last person to know!" Richie used his announcer voice as he held the nail polish brush as a microphone.
"Hey!"
"What? It's true!"

Beverly but her lip as she smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Should I tell him?"
"Of course. You remember that poem you told me about?"
"Yeah."
"Do you still have it?"
"Why?"
"Because I can tell you whether it's Bill's handwriting or not. I can't believe you didn't ask him about it while you guys were together."
"Whatever."
"All done!" Richie smiled as he finished up the last nail.
"Poem is in the fake bottom where my cigarettes are."

Richie put the brush back in the pot and screwed on the nail polish lid. He put it back in the bag and jumped off Beverly's bed. He walked over and removed the fake bottom the way Beverly had earlier. Richie picked up the postcard and read it.

Your hair is winter fire

January embers

My heart burns there too

"Yeah, nah, this isn't Bill's handwriting."
"Then who's is it?"
"Ben's, also, I don't think this follows the right principals of a Haiku."
"What?"
"Aren't the syllables for each line meant to go five, seven, five?"
"And it doesn't?"
"Nope, it's seven, six, five."
"That's what why I said what. It can't be Ben."
"It is."
"I don't believe you."
"Ask him then."
"No!"
"I'll drive you there right now!"
"No!"

Richie ran over to the bed and jokingly pouted.

"Cmon, Bevvie!"
"I hate you."
"Love you too!"
"Fine."
"Benverly!" Richie called as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her off the bed, "let's go!"

The pair ran out the door and to Richie's car.

"Did I mention I hate you?" Beverly rolled her eyes as she did up her seatbelt.
"Yep."

(A/N): I know there wasn't much reddie, but trust me, next chapter is gonna be wild and all of this will make sense.