Miss Cackle visited Mildred at the end of the day and found her reading a book about creative magic.
"Ah, Mildred you look much better than you did this morning" Miss Cackle said warmly, a sense of relief apparent in her tone.
"My headache has gone, Miss. I slept most of the day and feel quite well now" Mildred said with a happy smile.
"That is good, you had me worried. Any more nightmares?" Miss Cackle asked gently.
"No, Miss. I think that was just because we visited the Great Hall while it was empty. Sometimes it can feel quite...oh I don't know...dark maybe?" Mildred said searching for the right words that matched the lurching sensation the Great Hall sometimes gave her when she considered it too closely.
"Yes, quite understandable. I sometimes remember things and feel at odds with it myself Mildred. But there have been so many happy memories to fill it I try to focus on them" Miss Cackle said supportively.
"Miss, do you think Miss Hardbroom is alright? She seems...different" Milred said, sensing that now was a safe time to ask the question.
"Well Mildred, I am not completely sure on the answer to that question. I am sure you are just as receptive as I am to Miss Hardbroom's mood and character. She has seemed a little distracted, shall we say" Miss Cackle said giving Mildred a knowing look.
"I just want to know what I have done wrong" Mildred said plainly and there were tears in her eyes as she said the words aloud.
"I understand. I have told Miss Hardbroom to suspend your classes this weekend. Perhaps I could sit you both down at the beginning of next week so you can express your concerns?" Miss Cackle asked, "you do not have to, I think it might help our deputy to reconnect, if there is anything the matter" Miss Cackle put as diplomatically as she could.
"Oh. I thought I might finish my detention tonight and go to potion's class with Miss Drill. We were working on something important I think and I do not want to let Miss Hardbroom down. I feel much better now Miss Cackle" Mildred said with energy, she wanted to learn about the memory potion and she also wanted to show HB that she could survive the week of detentions...just!
"Well I really think you ought to get some rest Mildred. You were exhausted when I saw you this morning, positively burnt out," Miss Cackle replied.
"I just needed some rest and I promise I will get an early night. I think I might get through to Miss Hardbroom and what we are doing tonight will help with that I think" Mildred ploughed ahead with conviction.
"Very well, Mildred, if you are sure. I will ask Miss Drill to collect you from your room for the potion class at 7pm. I have ordered you a roast chicken dinner for tea which will be brought up to you. I thought the extra veg would do you good" Miss Cackle said with a warm smile.
"Oh a roast dinner, excellent! Thank you Miss Cackle" Mildred said gratefully, she loved winter food and hoped it might even arrive warm tonight.
"You know where I am if you need anything Mildred" Miss Cackle said before she left and Mildred smiled at her in silent thanks.
Mildred spent the remainder of the day reading about familiars and experimenting with attaching her aura to Tabby. It seemed to work just fine but Mildred did wonder how far Tabby might wonder to some days when left to his own devices. If Miss Hardbroom thought she was in the cellar chasing mice of scaling a rooftop that could definitely be a problem.
Maud and Enid were pleased to see their friend restored to her chirpy self and couldn't imagine why she had opted in to do her last detention that night. Enid had decided she must still be ill and Maud decided that the Mildred she knew must have been replaced by a clone.
Miss Drill interrupted them taking turns role playing a mechanical zombified Mildred who HB had programmed to be obedient, much to the PE teacher's amusement.
Maud and Enid decided to go and join Ruby and Jadu for a while. Mildred told Miss Drill she would catch her up as she just needed to write down her image to take with her.
"I can wait Mildred" Miss Drill said with an eye roll.
"No Miss it is okay, I want to test something too" Mildred said impressing on Miss Drill that it was not something she wanted to be associated with.
"Oh, right, okay Mildred I will see you down there" Miss Drill said with a disapproving frown and hurried ahead of her.
Mildred brought to life the picture of her aura and attached it to Tabby. She drank the potion, spoke the spell and clicked her fingers. This was going to be the shortest test ever but it was an important one.
She left at ten to 7pm and walked to the potions lab.
"Hello Miss Hardbroom" Mildred said clearly as she walked into the potion lab. As Miss Hardbroom jumped in the air and turned with a livid look of disdain and shock that even she couldn't hide, Mildred dropped the magical mask by clicking her fingers and summoned the drawing of her magical aura back to the paper in her pocket.
Miss Hardbroom's eyes shot wide with astonishment once more. She stared at Mildred and composed herself.
"Not thirty seconds ago you were in your room Mildred" Miss Hardbroom stated fiercely "and now here you are stood before me."
"I was up in my room Miss, but it was a little bit longer than 30 seconds ago. I came down for class at ten to 7," Mildred said with a slight frown.
"I see" Miss Hardbroom said narrowing her eyes and glaring at Mildred.
"I thought you would be pleased that I got here a little bit earlier" Mildred said with what sounded like genuine perplextion.
Miss Hardbroom's anger faded and she began to look confused.
"Mildred have you noticed any changes in your aura of late?" Miss Hardbroom asked evenly.
"No Miss, none" Mildred said.
At this point Miss Drill piped up who had been sat watching the exchange with intrigue.
"Is something wrong do you think?" Miss Drill asked Miss Hardbroom.
"No no, it is just odd that Mildred's aura seems to be shifting about. Perhaps, I am not...no I am certain it is nothing" Miss Hardbroom said brushing the matter aside.
Mildred felt a little guilty. It was not what she had expected to happen. She thought Miss Hardbroom might put it down to Mildred being tired or ill today. It actually sounded as though she was questioning her own abilities for a second. Mildred was also sure it had worked which meant she didn't have to rely on Miss Drill as her unbeknown stand-in. That felt ethically a better place to be in. But, it wasn't lost on Mildred that Miss Hardbroom wasn't herself so perhaps she should cool her experiments for a time.
"Right let's get on with the class shall we" Miss Hardbroom said clearly. Miss Drill could you state the first memory image you came up with that you would like removed and then the second one you settled on that you wrote down for me?" the potion's teacher requested. Miss Hardbroom had the papers they had written them down on in front of her but clearly wanted them to be spoken verbally.
"The first memory was a moment that I was hurt by someone and an image replays in my head regularly. When I thought about it for longer I realised that memory motivated me to do many positive things in my life, so the second image I would certainly want removing was when my granddad died. He was covered in tubes in hospital and didn't look like my granddad. I would like to look back and remember him how he was before those final days" Miss Drill said and though she spoke strongly and clearly her eyes were filled with emotion.
"Miss Drill and I discussed whether she wished to share her memories with us Mildred. She was happy to do that and though I would urge you to do the same so we can be sure you do not remove anything you might regret, you do not have to" Miss Hardbroom said carefully.
"I dont mind" Mildred said honestly.
"Very well. It is common for witches to change their mind as Miss Drill did which is why time and thought are essential if you ever consider using this kind of complex magic. It has lasting repercussions. What image do you think, if removed, would make your memory lighter for you?" Miss Hardbroom asked.
"Well there is only one as I didn't change my mind. It is the image of you when you were on the floor being attacked and tortured. I didn't think you were going to survive it, I felt so helpless, and sometimes, when I look in and see the Great Hall empty, it's all I see" Mildred said softly and coherently. She had rehearsed it in her head since they were set the task, because she knew that memory would haunt her forever.
The room fell into silence. Miss Hardbroom blinked but remained completely still. Miss Drill stared at Miss Hardbroom. Nobody knew what to say.
"But you did come to my aid, Mildred, and I did survive" Miss Hardbroom said quietly, piercing the thick silence around them.
"Yes, but you suffered, and we couldn't fix it" Miss Drill said, feeling herself in the same moment that had now pulled them all back to face it.
"So, do we help Mildred remove this image from her memory?" Miss Hardbroom asked using her teaching persona to detach herself somewhat from the raw emotion the thoughts were stirring up.
"Yes, if that is what she wants" Miss Drill said.
"Even though you took courage and motivation from the darkest moment in your life?" Miss Hardbroom asked Miss Drill.
"Mildred was young. She shouldn't have to relive that. Watching someone you respect and care about hurt is very different from being hurt yourself and overcoming it" Miss Drill explained but there was doubt in her tone.
"What do you think Mildred? Will that image remove the memories surrounding that single moment. Will your actions make sense without that piece? Would you have acted the same way last week without that image?" Miss Hardbroom asked gently but clearly.
"I don't know but it gives me nightmares...sometimes" Mildred said plainly, holding back the emotion that the admittance brought to the fore.
"Nightmares prey on fears. You need to focus on the positives Mildred" Miss Hardbroom stated but her resolve was fractured and she opted not to make eye contact with her student. "You cannot change the past, but you can change the future, or at least prepare for it which is what we have been doing," she added.
"The more you learn the stronger you get" Miss Drill said with a smile.
"I am not afraid...well I don't think I am. And actually yes that image does not make me act differently - I would always help if I could. As you said yourself I plunge into everything without a thought. We worked together to defeat the dark magic and free Miss Bat and Miss Cackle so you weren't on your own…" Mildred couldn't finish the sentence.
"And…" Miss Hardbroom prompted, "you can say what you need to say Mildred, clearly something is bringing the nightmares back again" she said as gently as she could manage in her semi-detached state.
"That was before you...started acting...differently" Mildred said awkwardly.
Miss Drill looked at Miss Hardbroom again trying to gauge her response. Miss Hardbroom looked tense and suddenly quite tired.
"Should the need arise Mildred, I would call for your assistance were it required, whether you had spent the week in detention or not. Does that ease your concerns?" Miss Hardbroom asked rather rigidly.
"Yes Miss" Mildred said nodding her head.
"Very well. I think that's enough discussion for one night. I am reluctant to remove your image Mildred and in any case you would need parental permission. Miss Drill, I think we can proceed if you are sure with yours" Miss Hardbroom said but she was still distant, pondering Mildred's struggle.
"I am" Miss Drill said, keeping her rapport formal to reflect the potion teacher's change in tone.
"Good, I would like you to make this potion together and carefully. I will be monitoring the process carefully as it is a very delicate one" Miss Hardbroom said clinically.
Mildred and Miss Drill proceeded with caution and plenty of debate over each step. Miss Hardrboom at times rolled her eyes and showed various signs of impatience but Miss Drill matched those gestures with glares and tuts.
"No" Miss Hardbroom said as Mildred dropped a pinch of shredded garlic towards the cauldron. The garlic paused mid air where Miss Hardbroom had frozen it. "You must stir it until it has a whirlwind at its centre, then the garlic can be added," she said as she created the whirlwind herself and then allowed the garlic to continue its journey into the potion.
"Does it say that here?" Miss Drill asked aloud as she was re-reading the passage.
"No it does not. It does tell you to stir it but the whirlwind is my own amendment and has always given it greater accuracy I have found" Miss Hardbroom stated.
"Perhaps you should write your own potion's book" Miss Drill said, quite clearly impressed.
"I teach so my methods are used and passed on already" Miss Hardbroom said somewhat distantly.
Miss Drill watched the potions teacher again and looked thoughtful. She looked at Mildred and shrugged. They non-verbally agreed Miss Hardbroom was not quite right that evening, even less herself than she had been all week, if that was possible.
"It's done" Miss Hardbroom said, though she wasn't looking at the potion.
"How do you know?" Miss Drill asked.
"It's fragrance has changed. It smells like honey and figs until it is done, at which point it smells like paint. I have always found that a pity" Miss Hardbroom said, revealing far more than she usually would care to.
Miss Drill smiled at the insight and her colleagues sense of smell.
"Miss Drill, you may take a sip from the cauldron, but before you do, close your eyes and imagine the image you wish to be free of forever. Only that image - the potion will take the first thing you think of so clarity of mind is imperative. Mildred remain completely silent and still" Miss Hardbroom commanded.
Miss Drill carefully carried out the instructions.
"When you wake tomorrow, you will be one image lighter Miss Drill and your memory will have been changed forever" Miss Hardbroom said with a little pinch of drama.
"Well, that was incredible" Miss Drill said. "A very enlightening night."
Mildred was sad that she wouldn't be one image lighter but she had also had time to think over what Miss Hardbroom said. Did she need that image? Was it a benchmark her life would use to compare bad situations to, might she be stronger because of it? Well, potions had made her think, and pretty hard at that, so something had gone right.
"That's enough daydreaming, Mildred. Would you like a sleeping potion to take with you tonight?" Miss Hardbroom asked rather gently.
It caught Mildred by surprise. It was thoughtful! And she was trusting her to take it with her and not come up to administer it herself.
"Yes please" Milred said politely, she really would rather not have any more nightmares that night.
"Very well" Miss Hardbroom said and put a vile into her hand. "I think an early night is in order, you are dismissed from your detention," she added.
"Yes, Miss" Mildred said, holding her form tutors gaze for a moment to see if there was any clue as to what was going on with her, because something was.
"I will sort the potion's lab. You two may go" Miss Hardbroom said and in an instant she had cleared the lab with a wave of her arm.
Miss Drill gestured to Mildred with her eyes that she could go, but also that she would hang back and investigate what was wrong with Miss Hardbroom.
Mildred smiled understandingly and said "goodnight" allowed.
"Goodnight Mildred" Miss Hardbroom said and managed a nod to her student.
"Goodnight" Miss Drill said and waited until Mildred had left the potion's lab before she stopped staring after her and turned to the potion's teacher.
"What's wrong Constance? Don't tell me you are fine because I know you are not" Imogen said with a great deal of concern.
"I'm not sure. If I knew, I would be able to talk to you" Constance said openly which surprised Imogen. She had dropped the defensive barriers that had been up so strongly all week.
"What can I do?" Imogen asked.
"Nothing. I am not sure what anyone can do. My magic is not quite right. I need to investigate it" Constance said distantly.
"Your magic? In what way?" Imogen asked concerned.
"Imogen, I am really not sure I can explain. And even if I could there really isn't anything you could do to help" Constance stated.
"Is there anyone who can?" Imogen asked.
"The Council perhaps…"Constance said trailing off as she sat thinking.
"You are not yourself at all, Constance, we are all worried," Imogen said reaching out to place her hand on the deputy's forearm.
Constance looked down at the gesture and then up into Imogen's eyes.
"I have nightmares sometimes myself. I imagine the students are in trouble and I cannot save them. Mildred's face often haunts my dreams...because I don't see enough of her during the day," Constance said with a smirk to try and lighten what she was sharing.
"Perhaps you like to keep her close" Imogen suggested.
"What Mildred remembers most acutely, is what haunts my memories as well. None of us are invincible or infallible but I found that out quite abruptly. I used to think that if I fell, Cackles would fall with me. Now, I am not sure that is true" Constance explained though it was becoming clear that these truths were uncomfortable for her to reveal.
"You are a symbol. And we look to you for strength. We ALL look to you for strength" Imogen said carefully. She didn't want to say too much and leave Constance feeling exposed.
"I am not at full strength right now," Constance said with a sigh.
"Isn't that understandable considering what you have just gone through? Give yourself some slack!" Imogen urged.
"Do you ever just think 'that's enough'?" Constance asked.
"Every Monday morning" Imogen said but she couldn't manage the smile that went with it.
"I think it is time I finished my notes and got to bed" Constance said after they had sat silent for a moment.
"Let's talk tomorrow after a good night's sleep" Imogen said softly, "I am here for you," she added gently.
Constance smiled wearily to acknowledge the gesture and then settled herself at her desk with her leather bound notebook.
"Mildred loves you, you know. We all love you. You are invincible to us. You may have been down for a while during that battle but when you got up off the floor we knew we were safe. And we also knew the lengths you would go to to protect us. You put your broken body in front of a magical bolt that almost killed you to save me. When you look back and feel weak or vulnerable just imagine how we felt and how grateful we were that you were there" Imogen said passionately.
Miss Hardbroom glanced up as a tear rolled down her right cheek.
Imogen left without disturbing her further. That had been a very quiet and odd exchange. She was more worried about her colleague than when they had started talking. She felt like Constance had said a lot without really telling her exactly what was wrong. Clearly though, Cackle's deputy was not in a good place right now. So, Imogen would have to make sure they rallied behind their rock and restored her to her former granite like self.
Mildred struggled to settle that night. She was full of thoughts and feelings and sensed Miss Hardbroom at her desk in the potion lab.
She transferred her aura to Tabby almost subconsciously and administered the potion. She was hungry so a trip to the kitchens felt like a comforting thought. She could also check to make sure Miss Hardbroom looked okay from a far perhaps.
Mildred was walking past the potion lab when she saw Miss Hardbroom hunched over her desk with her head in her hands. Mildred almost walked right in, there was something compelling her to do so. She considered her options which were relatively simple. Go past and pretend she hadn't seen anything, raid the kitchens and go to sleep in a happy food coma. Or, turn off the mask and go and find out what was wrong with her form tutor because she was entirely insane!
Mildred made the only decision she felt comfortable with and moments later she had returned the drawing of her magical aura to the piece of paper in her pocket, clicked her fingers and entered the potion's lab.
Miss Hardbroom did not look up as Mildred walked towards her.
"I did not sense your approach, Mildred" Miss Hardbroom stated evenly.
Mildred didn't say anything. She didn't think her form tutor was asking for a reply and Mildred didn't think it was the right time for cover stories.
"Do you need something?" She asked gently.
"No Miss Hardbroom. I thought you might...I felt compelled to...can I do anything to...help?" Mildred asked not entirely sure why she was there or what she could do.
Miss Hardbroom raised her head and her eyes were moist. She looked tired.
"I have a problem Mildred. It is one you might be able to help me with but the act of asking you has for some reason been insurmountable for me" Miss Hardbroom said in a matter of fact tone.
Mildred watched Miss Hardbroom and walked towards her. If it was anyone else she would probably instinctively have reached out to hold her right about now.
"My magic is broken. It is nothing major, almost insignificant but I do not feel whole. My spells, magical energy and chants do not feel complete. I would like you to observe my aura closely, Mildred and see if there is anything worthy of note" Miss Hardbroom asked politely.
"Yes, Miss" Mildred said as she stared at her form tutor's aura.
"If you feel compelled to draw anything then you should" Miss Hardbroom encouraged and summoned some drawing materials for Mildred onto the desk in front of her.
"I do not need to. There is a very small hole. I can feel it. The magic is not bridging it, rather finding a route around it" Mildred said still absorbed by the lights and feelings of Miss Hardbroom's magical presence.
"How can you see that? I cannot feel anything" Miss Hardbroom said amazed.
"I can't see it, only feel it. But I can feel the rhythm of the magic and sketch the patterns it is making in my head. I think I can patch it too" Mildred said as she snapped out of her engrossment and looked at Miss Hardbroom directly.
"Patch it?" Miss Hardbroom said with a slight recoil.
"I mean that I can fill in the gaps with a drawing. I am not sure how long it would hold for, but I am being compelled to do that" Mildred said honestly, feeling the urge to draw take over once more.
"Well Mildred. A temporary solution is better than none" Miss Hardbroom said. She was clearly trying a carefree approach but wasn't entirely content with it yet.
Mildred took just a moment to sketch a few lines on the paper before she was ready.
"Can I?" Mildred asked poised ready to lift the drawing.
"You may" Miss Hardbroom stated.
Mildred hesitated for a second and looked at Miss Hardbroom. Miss Hardbroom nodded and gave her a look of belief and encouragement.
Mildred lifted the swirls off the page and maneuvered them into position with concentration and precision. As the drawing combined with Miss Hardbroom's aura Mildred lifted off the floor slightly. As she floated midair she channelled two low level magical currents from her arms towards Miss Hardbroom's aura. The aura lit up, throwing light around the potion lab before settling back to its usual hue. It was beautiful. Mildred returned to the floor and stumbled backwards until she found a stool to sit on. She looked pale and fatigued.
"Mildred, are you alright?" Miss Hardbroom asked as she got to her feet.
"Oh yes Miss" Mildred said with a gormless grin, she looked like a cross between a drunk and someone who had just won a gold medal.
"You are pale Mildred, do you need to lie down?" Miss Hardbroom asked?
"No no Miss, I am fine. How are you?" She asked intrigued.
"Well I feel...whole" Miss Hardbroom said, taking a moment to consider herself and how she was feeling. "My magic has synchronised," she added.
"I have filled the hole, or rather your magic has, I just gave it the pathway to go down" Mildred said simply.
"Do you think it will hold like that?" Miss Hardbroom asked curiously.
"Definitely" Mildred said completely sure of her efforts. "I have recalled the drawing already and the hole is no longer there".
"So your drawing instructed my magic on how to solve the problem so that it took the right paths" Miss Hardbroom said part aloud and part to herself as she began to understand what had happened. "That is extraordinary which is one word I have come to expect when discussing your abilities" Miss Hardbroom added.
Mildred just smiled. She was starting to regain her composure and feel a little less washed out.
"Did I float?" Mildred asked.
"Yes, you did" Miss Hardbroom answered.
"Wow!" Mildred exclaimed.
"Wow indeed!" Miss Hardbroom mirrored.
"Do you ever float?" Milred asked curious.
"Yes I did when I was a young witch. It was as I was trying to control my magic and harness the energy. Occasionally, the power of it would lift me off the ground. It hasn't happened for a long time but there are times when I feel compelled to - perhaps I should let the moment take me" Miss Hardbroom said with a smile.
"I definitely would. It was quite…" Mildred started.
"Powerful and all consuming. Yes I remember. I was always told that control had to come before anything. But I know witches who express themselves differently. Miss Bat lets her chants lift her off the ground sometimes. Perhaps you should talk to her about the sensation as well" Miss Hardbroom encouraged.
"Now Mildred" Miss Hardbroom said steady and clear, "how have you been evading me?" she asked.
Mildred looked at her and felt a huge burden lift. At the same time she saw sadness and regret in her form tutors eyes that didn't suit her.
"I can't tell you, Miss. I want to, but...but it wouldn't feel right. Your magic has been temperamental so you have not been at full strength. If I tell you now, you will never get the chance to…" Mildred said nervously but with a light humoured tone. She hoped she hadn't over stepped.
"Catch you in the act" Miss Hardbroom said with a coy smile. "Alright Mildred, have it your way, but don't expect any leniency" she said regaining her authoritative rhythm.
"No, Miss" Mildred said with a small smile, "that is not something I would expect," she added while she thought she might get away with it.
Miss Hardbroom sat and considered Mildred for a moment before saying:
"Thank you, Mildred. No matter how sternly I treat you, you always find compassion and understanding in response". It was said softly and genuinely.
"And no matter how clumsy and rebellious I am you never give up on me, even if that means making my life hell" Mildred said with a shrug.
"Yes Mildred...I care tough...but I do care" Miss Hardbroom said meeting Mildred's eyes.
"I know" Mildred said. "You will be so bored when I leave this year," she added to lighten the mood.
"It will be quite the vacation. Perhaps I will look at College tuition and observe your career more closely at Weirdsister" Miss Hardbroom said.
"Erm…" Mildred began but was literally lost for words.
"I am joking Mildred! This is my home. When you leave here you will be free of me - you have my word" Miss Hardbroom said in a jovial way, she was enjoying this dialogue and perhaps the prospect of a Mildred free Cackles.
"I will come and visit" Mildred said genuinely.
"I won't decorate the potion's lab too quickly then" Miss Hardbroom said smirking. Mildred looked surprised. Miss Hardbroom making light of her potions lab destructions was no small occurrence. "Go and get some sleep Mildred, I will come and see you first thing so we can see how my magical aura is holding" she said with a smile of thanks.
"It feels strong, Miss. If anything happens in the night…" Mildred began.
"I will be sure to leave you sleeping until the morning, Mildred. Stop fussing, girl" Miss Hardbroom said and transported them both to Mildred's room.
"Yes, Miss" Mildred said apologetically.
"Now sleep. I won't ask you where you were going this evening, I am sure it is a professional secret" Miss Hardbroom said as she vanished from the room.
Mildred gasped suddenly remembering what she was doing before she found HB. She hadn't found any delicious food that night but she felt full for the first time in a long time. Life had given her some joy back.
"I...I love you, Miss" Mildred said urgently. She needed her to know.
Miss Hardbroom appeared at the bottom of Mildred's bed. She looked at her and searched for the right words but on this occasion they failed her.
She sat down on the end of Mildred's bed. The silence was light and patient - Mildred had said what she needed to and was waiting for Miss Hardbroom to say what was on her mind.
"We skirted around a few things tonight Mildred and made light of a few things. But, I do owe you an apology. The way you have been striding ahead with your magic with very little input from me has brought parallels to the fore of how I was taught and the discipline, struggle and suffering I endured. I have been envious of your friendships, the way you have done powerful magic effortlessly. And the fact that you can skip sessions and indulge in frivolous pursuits without a care. I was hounded and haunted every day. But, that is not what I want for you. I also have nightmares, ones where I cannot protect this school, its students, and in particular you. That makes me very focused on instilling in you what you need to protect yourself, should the need arise, which unfortunately, it seems to do quite frequently. So I envy you and I also want to make you into a powerful witch capable of withstanding any attack. I said I care tough. What I should have said is that I have treated you poorly and been overbearing. I have shouted at you and made you doubt yourself this week and for that I am truly sorry Mildred. Please forgive me" Miss Hardbroom said with considerable emotion in her voice.
It was the first time Mildred had seen Miss Hardbroom look down. She was looking at her hands clearly ashamed and upset by her actions. It was a sobering and strange moment that broke Mildred's heart.
Mildred clambered out of bed so she could hug her form tutor firmly. She held her so tightly her arms started to weaken with exhaustion.
"Am I to take it that I have been forgiven?" Miss Hardbroom asked lightly.
"Yes" Mildred said but she was crying. The relief of finding out what was wrong with her role model and finally connecting to the woman she thought she knew so well, was overwhelming.
"Mildred, I think we could do with some healing time. If you are not too tired would you like to talk a while? Perhaps I could wander around the castle out of hours with you to see what all the fuss is about" Miss Hardbroom asked gently.
Mildred smiled at Miss Hardbroom, looking up with a tear stained face and slightly red eyes.
"I would like us to visit the Great Hall and see where the conversation takes us" Miss Hardbroom said. "Can you cope with that?"
"If you are there, yes I think so" Mildred said honestly.
"Okay, in that case we will walk there" Miss Hardbroom said simply. "I would quite like to collect Miss Drill along the way if you are alright with that as well?"
"Of course" Mildred said.
"Good, I think Imogen has been worried about me too and I know she has been making sleeping potions for herself so perhaps she might welcome conversation also" Miss Hardbroom said a little awkwardly but Mildred realised this was new territory for her and she was certainly trying her hardest to do the right thing.
They collected Miss Drill on the way to the Great Hall. Miss Hardbroom knocked on her door and waited patiently. When the oak door opened Miss Drill's face looked tired and worried.
"Constance, Mildred...what's wrong are you okay?" Miss Drill asked instantly.
"Everyone is fine, Imogen" Miss Hardbroom said, happy to use first names which in itself was a rarity. "Mildred and I thought we might take a trip to the Great Hall and talk some things through. We hoped you might like to join us" she added softly.
Miss Drill stepped forward and hugged Miss Hardbroom lightly, "that is a very nice idea and I would love to" she said as she let the potion's teacher go. HB didn't pull away or look surprised she just nodded and they resumed their journey to the hall.
As they entered the hall Miss Hardbroom held up her arms and said a short spell that illuminated the space quite beautifully. There were tall candles lining the walls that cast large orange circles of light onto the ceiling above. It was as warm and cosy as the Great Hall had ever looked but every crevice and detail was lit.
"So, how do you feel, Mildred, Imogen?" Miss Hardbroom asked quite directly.
They were silent as they pondered the room and took in the empty space.
"I recall some scenes immediately but what I am always worried about is how you feel, Constance" Imogen said and looked at the potion's teacher willing her to open up.
Mildred saw a slight glint of surprise in Miss Harbdroom's eyes but she admired Miss Drill's honesty and wanted to say so much herself that she felt she might burst. She also wanted to give her form tutor time to find her words.
"I always see the same thing. But, what worries me most is that you have to relive it. I don't know how you got through it, Miss" she said looking at Miss Hardbroom. "I don't know how you got up. I wish you hadn't stayed. It just wasn't fair" Mildred said shaking her head as though she was trying to change the events.
Miss Hardbroom looked at the spot where she had laid for so long, fading in and out of consciousness. She strolled over to it and touched the floor as though she had an accord with it.
"I remember some sections very vividly. At times voices seemed so far away that I wasn't sure if I could get back to them. Knowing that I couldn't do enough to protect…" Miss Hardbroom broke off as the emotion flooded her. "I heard her voice...that is what haunts me most. When I felt on the verge of giving up it was Mistress Broomhead that pulled me back. She used to tell me I wasn't enough, I was unfocused, weak willed and lacked conviction. Whenever I am challenged that is the voice I hear. So I fight to prove her wrong. Just as you fight to prove an abuser wrong Imogen and you Mildred...you fight to prove me wrong" Miss Hardbroom said as she sank to the floor with her back against the stage and encouraged Milred and Miss Drill to sit close by.
Mildred looked at her and understood, but she had also got it wrong.
"I don't fight to prove you wrong Miss. I fight because that is what you would do. You tell me when I disappoint you but you have always told me when I have impressed you. You have called me exceptional more than anything else this term. So last week I wanted to prove that I was exceptional and that you were right about me" Mildred said simply because it was the truth.
"I also called you the worst witch for four years Mildred" Miss Hardbroom said.
"Because I was the worst witch and if we did a spells test right now I would be again" Mildred said with a smile.
"Well yes, but…" Miss Hardbroom began.
"I don't think there is a but Constance. I have told you before - you are not her. We just need to help you draw your power from other places" Imogen said clearly.
"Then that will be true for you too Imogen" Constance said with her usual lightening fast retorts.
"I will give you that. You don't need to fight to prove her wrong though. You were more powerful that she was, more resilient and so what if you had help, that's what makes us all strong. We don't have to fight alone. She had help too but she failed didn't she?" Imogen added.
"Then why are we all haunted by this? A year has passed and I still feel so alone sometimes stood in assembly looking out at a room that instantly transports me back to those events" Constance asked and there was agony in her tone.
"Because we came back this year and carried on like nothing had happened. Then we went through another major event and still soldiered on. Maybe we need to talk about it more and stop putting brave faces on. I feel sick sometimes when my memories are triggered" Imogen said, opening up to the moments she had ignored so as not to upset anyone else.
"I just want to check that people are okay. But I am too frightened too incase they are trying to forget" Mildred offered in a quiet voice.
"You and your friends should be able to approach us about anything Mildred. I should have enabled that" Miss Hardbroom said, reprimanding herself again.
"You suffered the most. You wanted to forget it. That's just human" Imogen offered.
"I was broken" Constance said softly. "Most of the time I feel whole and capable but sometimes this consumes me and I feel like I need…" she didn't finish the sentence.
"Support. It is okay to need support. You haven't been yourself this week, that is not good for you" Imogen said treading very carefully now.
"I needed Mildred's help but I was too proud to ask for it. And you were right, I was too hard on her…" Constance said with a frown, she didn't relish Imogen being right.
"Well it looks like you found a way to ask for it. And that is impressive given your track record, Constance" Imogen said with a slight smirk.
"Yes...well...Mildred happened to be in the area!" Miss Hardbroom said narrowing her stare at Mildred a fraction.
"I was going for a midnight feast" Mildred said out of the blue.
"Well that's lucky" Imogen said trying to distract HB. She looked at Mildred trying to figure out why all of a sudden she had a death wish.
"Oh she knows I was up to something. Well, I did sense her in the potion's lab and wonder, perhaps that is why I really came down" Mildred said thoughtfully.
"I suppose we will never know. But, whatever the reason, I am glad you did Mildred" Miss Hardbroom said. "Though next time you go for a midnight feast, hopefully I will catch you so I can transport you and drop you into the middle of the lake," she added with a short chuckle.
Mildred and Imogen both looked at her with stunned expressions.
"Imogen, Mildred here has evaded me on no fewer than three occasions I believe. In fact, I think she has deliberately flaunted it in front of me. How do you expect me to react!" Miss Hardbroom said calmly with an edge of malice.
"I don't know, perhaps a detention or fifty?" Imogen said.
"I am bored of detentions. They don't seem to be a worthy deterrent anymore" Miss Hardbroom said thoughtfully.
"Maybe you could just congratulate her ingenuity as the first witch to get past you...wait so you think she already has? Do you know how…?" Imogen suddenly caught on to what HB was admitting.
"No...but I will...now I know that my magic was not misfiring. It will be a useful exercise to hone my powers again actually, now they are fully restored" Miss Hardbroom said with extreme confidence.
"Miss, did you ever challenge Mistress Broomhead?" Mildred asked tentatively.
"Yes I did Mildred. She tortured my best friend and kicked her out of the academy for it. I was left to live with my decision for the rest of my tuition" Miss Hardbroom said bluntly.
"Why does Mistress Broomhead...erm...hate you? Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Mildred asked and expected Miss Hardbroom to close down this line of questioning any moment now.
"Because I came to a place where she couldn't control me. She expected me to get a job in the council or in a higher profile school where she could keep tabs on me and control my choices. I escaped by finding somewhere out of her reach. She wanted to punish me for being my own person, I think" Miss Hardbroom said as truthfully as she could.
"She deserves to be locked up" Imogen said passionately.
"I am glad she doesn't teach me. I don't think we would get on" Mildred said with a grin.
"That Mildred, is an understatement. It gives me great pleasure to think she will never teach anyone ever again" Miss Hardbroom said with a warm smile.
"Miss, did you...did you think you might...that day" Mildred tried to ask her what had floated through her brain everyday since that attack.
Miss Hardbroom met her students eyes and knew what she was asking. Imogen also looked at Mildred and understood what she was thinking.
"Yes, Mildred, there were two moments when I thought I was going to die. When I was being hit by bolt after bolt of magical energy, I didn't know how long my body would hold on. It was terrifying. I didn't want to leave anyone in harm's way but I had nothing at all to call upon. And, as Imogen knows, I broke most of the bones in my body that day. My recuperation was long and painful. After I got to my room and could assess the damage there was a moment I wondered if too much harm had been inflicted. It is that feeling of weakness and vulnerability that I remember quite acutely. It burns my insides to consider what would have happened if we had not all worked together to protect each other" Miss Hardbroom said heavily.
"Wouldn't you be better off without that memory?" Miss Drill asked quietly.
"I have several, due to my upbringing and tuition by Mistress Broomhead, that I have often considered removing. But, the fact remains that we did all survive. Mildred's talents shone in that dark moment. In times of great suffering we get to see great courage and ability. I do not want to dilute or diminish what we achieved" Miss Hardbroom argued with clarity.
"But you nearly died and I hate seeing that in my head" Mildred said strongly.
"You have to direct your brain to the memory of when I got up Mildred. Train your thoughts to associate one with the other," Miss Hardbroom advised. "It's not easy but perhaps we can all help each other move past this."
"It does feel better just acknowledging it" Imogen added.
Mildred nodded her head in agreement.
"I will talk to Miss Cackle about putting group sessions on for anyone who wants to talk through the events. I think it will be good for everyone. Mildred do you feel any better?" Miss Hardbroom asked compassionately.
"I feel better because you are back, Miss" Mildred said honestly.
"Yes, poor Mildred has been in solitary confinement all week, and you were...well icy!" Imogen said, feeling safe enough to state the truth.
"Yes I was. Let's start a new chapter shall we. I promise that I will only be 'icy' if I catch Mildred somewhere she isn't meant to be!" Miss Hardbroom said with a smirk.
"Deal" Mildred said with a smile.
"I second that" Miss Drill added.
"Good. Now, I think we had best go and get some sleep, if you are both ready? Imogen I have made you some sleeping potions, perhaps we can talk about your sleep issues tomorrow. Mildred I will transport you to your room and administer one to you also, once we have escorted Miss Drill back" Miss Hardbroom said kindly.
"Yes, tomorrow, perhaps wine could be included" Miss Drill said with a smile.
"Of course" Miss Hardbroom said with a smile.
They walked Miss Drill back to her room. She turned and hugged them both happily before she bid them goodnight.
"Miss, do you think you could zap us up the stairs?" Mildred asked with a yawn.
"Mildred, since you are meant to be resting, I will transport us to your room. But, I am not a taxi!" Miss Hardbroom replied.
"No, Miss" Mildred said as they appeared in Mildred's bedroom, "you are much faster than a taxi" she said almost absentmindedly, completely at ease with the woman beside her.
"And considerably less customer friendly" Miss Hardbroom said with a miffed tone.
Mildred snapped out of her tired, daydreaming state and pulled a face that conveyed her apology for comparing HB to a taxi.
"Into bed, Mildred" Miss Hardbroom said with a roll of her eyes.
She took the sleeping potion to give to Mildred which sat on her bedside table.
"Now Mildred, I know Miss Cackle has given you the weekend off. I just wondered if you might consider your Saturday afternoon class if you manage to get a lie in tomorrow?" Miss Hardbroom pondered allowed.
"I should be fine" Mildred said quite happy with that.
"I would like the chance to do things a little differently...that is while I am speaking to you, before I catch you somewhere you shouldn't be, masking your magical powers, and have to drop you in the lake never to be seen again!" Miss Hardbroom said with a scarily still face, before a small smirk crept in.
"I may as well make the most of it" Mildred said with wide eyes.
"Well, you could always stay out of trouble, Mildred. I know it's a long shot…" Miss Hardbroom quibbed.
"I intend to" Mildred said with a coy smile that Miss Hardbroom raised one eyebrow in response to.
"Drink up Mildred, and may the best witch win" Miss Hardbroom said and there was a fire dancing in her eyes.
It was that moment that Mildred realised how much Miss Hardbroom relished the chase.
"See, you would definitely be bored without me" Mildred said with one eye open as she started to drift off.
"Perhaps so, Mildred Hubble, perhaps so," Miss Hardbroom said with a low chuckle as she left her student to sleep.