hope everyone had happy holidays ya'll, I know mine was! I see Retro has Ice King in it now for the holiday season? that is so cool! (oops no pun intended c:) I missed him from later in te OGs run so Im happy to see him even if for a few weeks. but seeing him reminded me of my own story, he actually does show up in the chapter after this! so I went back to polishing the story and here it is! anotjer chapter for you! enjoy! :D
chapter 12: Meeting Eldridge
I walked out to the end of Bravo Beach, and brought my hand above my eyes to I could see over the blue waves. "hm, I do not see anything out of the ordinary..."
I was now on Bravo Bean to look for any trace of Buttercup Utonium, one of the Powerpuff Girls who you might recall. Her disappearance was a major monkey wrench in Earths' defences and caused a lot of pain for her family too mm-hm.
but I couldn't see anything over the waves. wait... what! what's that! there, it's a green sleeve of some sort?! nah, I'm just messin' with ya. there was nothing there.
"darn it, not even joking with myself is helping," I thought, and looked to the east. there was a small isle.
"hmm, maybe there will be some sort of clue there?" I wondered aloud, then hopped on my jetbike and rode over the waves to the isle. when studying it on my nanocom, I saw it was shaped like a skull...
"well, isn't that unnerving," I said and shuddered but continued.
when I reached the isle, I saw it was dotted with palm trees and little green lizards were scuttling about on the ground. they looked so happy. I waved to them and told them how pretty they were. they couldnt understand me because they were lizards but I think they appreciated it anyway. I made my way carefully throug hthe trees careful not to step on any of the lizards.
"huh, how long has this tropical island been off of Downtown?" I wondered because it was just so odd... the grography around here was insane. you can walk from a suburban neighborhood into dense wilderness and from there either into a volcano or a freaking desert. this place was weird.
but what was weirder was the sound of sorrowful wailing coming from deeper on the isle!
"huh?! who's there?!" I called. "are you alright? stay calm, I'm a licensed soldier, I will protect and defrend you!"
I tiptoed further in, scared, unsure of what I was going to encounter. then while I was walking I didn't see it but a coconut fell from one of the palms and was headed straight for my head at an alarming speed! before it could hit me though, those sweet little lizards all jumped on my and pushed me out of the way! I fell over in the sand but was okay, so were they.
but the crying... was closer now.
I looked behind me. there was a tree here! not like a palm tree though, it was dark and appeared dead and had gnarled branches and roots, and strangest of all, it had a face of holes!
"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" I screamed
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" he screamed.
"YOU'RE ALIVE!" I said.
"ALL TREES ARE ALIVE, CHILD!" he explained. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ON MY ISLAND ABODE?!"
"um, forgive the intrusion, mister tree, I am here looking for any sign of what became of Buttercup Utonium the Powerpuff Girl, por favor."
"OH, I SEE," said the tree. his voice was really, really deep. it kind of turned me on. but he was a tree so I didn't say anything. "I AM ELDRIDGE JOHNSONMEYER, A TAKING TREE FORMERLY RESIDING IN THE BACKAYARD OF THE ONE KNOWN AS BILLY, BUT I REROOTED HERE TO GET AWAY FROM HIS OBNOXIOUS FAMILY."
"oh, I see, that is very interesting!" I said, but I was talking really fast because hearing that his last name contained Johnson only got my motor revving even more and now I had what they call a, ahem, "ladyboner" on my hands. I hoped he wouldn't notice; I was wearing a very short skirt after all. "so, uh, Mr. Johnsonmeyer, have you seen any sign of the one called Buttercap?"
"I AM AFRIAD I CANNOT TELL YOU," he gurgled, then spat - there was a cat inside him.
"WHY NOT?!" I shouted because I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before due to all the sex and my hot pants were bothering me and I just wanted to find Buttercup already this wasn't fair to her family!
"MISS, I REQUEST SOMETHING IN RETURN. YOU SEE, I AM STUCK HERE,"
"but didnt you say you've rerooted before...?"
"THAT WAS ON NORMAL SOIL, BUT WE HAD A HUGE RAINSTORM AROUND HERE A WEEK AGO AND THE SAND IS VERY STICKY, LIKE QUICKSAND NOW I RECKON, AND I NEED ASSISTANCE WITH SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT I WOULD DO IT MYSELF BUT I CANNOT."
"ugh what could possibly be so important that you can't help me find a missing girl you creep?!" I asked.
he glared at me. "WHAT COULD BE SO IMPORTANT? WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS CRYING ABOUT EARLIER?" he stared deep into my soul. "CHILD, I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME, VERY CAREFULLY. SOMEWHERE, IN THE WORLD, THERE IS ALWAYS A GUINEA PIG ALONE, IN THE COLD, SHIVERING. HUNGRY. WITH NO ONE THERE TO LISTEN AS IT CRIES INTO THE AIR FOR FRESH VEGETABLES OR A WARM BLANKET, OR EVEN ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC IGLOOS PEOPLE BUY FOR THEM. IT IS ALL ALONE IN THIS WORLD AND HELPLESS."
my eyes widened. overcome with emotion from the heartbreaking scene Mr. Johnsonmeyer just painted with his words, I burst into tears myself. "that's... that's so sad..."
"NOW YOU UNDERSTAND MY MISSION," he said. "I NEED YOU TO FIND THAT GUINEA PIG AND BRING HIM OR HER TO SAFETY."
"of course," I said blotting my tears away with a tissue, "but where will I find a guinea pig in trouble?"
"YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO KEEP YOUR EARS OUT."
"but this place is enormous."
"WELL, I SUGGEST LOOKING IN A COLD PLACE FIRST. MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE... THAT CASTLE OVER THERE."
I turned around and walked through the trees. there, in the middle of the water, was... a castle made of ice?
"when the fock did that get there!?" I said.
"LANGUAGE!" Mr. Johnsonmeyer chastised.
"sorry," I said. "well, if rescuing a guina pig in need will make you happy, Mr. Johnsonmeyer, then I'll do it. be right back."
"THANK YOU, YOUNG LADY," he said, but followed up with, "UH, AND IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING... WHY DID YOU SAY MY LAST NAME THAT WAY?"
I blushed. oops, it had been subconscious. "... I don't know what you're talking about."