Frostbitten

by Corvixa

Tony lost more things to the ice and cold of siberia. That bunker has forged him, once again, in ice and then in fire. Returning to live, fundamentally changed, he hopes the family he cobbles together will hold this time. Broken people with sharp edges can come together to make something shine. Saturday Updates! (This is LONG , it takes them a while to meet)

14. Chapter 14 - Expectations

Expectations

Bruce POV

29th September

Bruce had been standing in front of the compound for about 10 minutes now, trying to work out the best plan of action. The place was barely recognisable to him, although he could see the original buildings here and there, or what he assumed was the original, with Tony it was always hard to tell and he'd been busy , much more so that he'd usually be. There had been extensive changes everywhere. There was so much.. More . Some of the buildings were nearly triple the height he remembered. There were tons of new buildings, the area was massively expanded and he wasn't sure if that lake had always been there.. It looked like one new section had been renamed as The Guard and recently if he had to guess from the look of the work. There were people moving around in yellow vests, so potentially still under work.

There were also so many people. Heck even the car park was impressively huge and he was pretty sure he'd never been impressed by a car park but it went underground and everything. He remembered them talking in the press conference that things are done differently now, that it's a legitimate private organisation and standing here he can see it. It was nothing like a rag-tag group of heroes out on their own. Tony had taken his father's million dollar weapons company and turns it into the multi-billion dollar company that was involved in practically anything but weapons. That was like the difference from the old compound to this. It was like seeing what the man was capable of doing when he took something and ran with it, and wasn't held back. It was moderately terrifying.

He didn't think he'd seen any of the Avengers so far, but he'd seen lots of people, in many varieties. From scientists to military folk. Suits, tac gear and white coats. Students too by the looks of them. There was even a bus full of tiny kids on what looked like a tour?

Whilst it was all very impressive, it resulted in the fact that he didn't know where to go first. There were sections sporting the stylised A of the Avengers, even that had been changed slightly, but even then he was a little overwhelmed. Okay. A lot.

It was like a huge, sprawling hospital there were different departments in different buildings that all had their own receptions and getting lost was a distinct possibility. He really wished he had a map. He couldn't head directly towards where the residential quarters were because they were now nestled safely away with no direct access that he could see, something he thought was intentional, and smart. The security looked much, much higher than it had been before. He could see three, spire like buildings from here that he bet were security and he assumed there were more of them around too. Much higher security indeed, more so than the tower at a guess. But after the picture of Tony with the kids, he wasn't surprised.

Hulk was getting irritated with his indecisiveness however. Under the opinion he should just pick a building and that should do it. He'd been about to do just that was he heard a familiar noise of repulsors above him. He looked up and saw Tony coming to land several feet in front of him.

The suit was familiar, yet not at the same time, he seemed to have lost some bulk, it was more fitted? If that was the best description. There was no segments that he could see, it looked to be completely solid yet still allowed movement. The blue glow of the eyes and inverted triangle at his chest was not alone on this version of the armour with points at each side of his collarbone and his chest and lines down his legs too. Bruce wondered if they were actually the Micro-RT nodes Tony had been discussing... His blinked and forced himself to stop assessing Tony's latest version, he wondered just how many suits he had missed? It felt like Tony had come so far and he'd missed it.

What surprised him the most wasn't any of that, it was what happened next. He had expected the helmet to fold back, maybe for Tony to step out of the suit. Or the suit to fold into the suitcase.

He was not expecting the Ironman suit to somehow reform itself into a deep red suit with a black shirt and gold tie as he walked towards him, from metal to fabric it morphed around Tony as he walked over to him, arms wide in greeting. It happened so fast and he was utterly fascinated. He was also wearing matching red tinted sunglasses, honestly, the entire thing was impressive! Hulk was immensely impressed. The change happening seamlessly in-between strides as Tony quickly approached him, grinning widely as if it was normal, but then it probably was normal to Tony he reminded himself glumly. It was him who was behind and it was his own doing.

"I knew you were on the move Bruce, but I didn't know you were coming here! You should have called ahead."

"I decided I'd been gone long enough and wanted to surprise you, clearly I have missed a lot. Plus, Hulk missed his TinMan. He wanted to surprise you too."

"Well, I'm definitely surprised! Come on, let's get inside. I thought someone was pranking me when you turned up on the security feed."

Bruce chuckled whilst glancing around, he hadn't even seen any cameras and what he suspected were security towers were quite far away, also, he hadn't heard a familiar buzz that he got around some technology. He didn't get much from the Hulk in this form, he had the enhanced hearing after all, but since they'd leveled out and come to an agreement after Ultron his senses had improved a lot. But there was none of that. Security was definitely much more impressive than it had once been.

The old set up had pretty much been them being their own security. Steve has been against Tony's requests to have a better system in place. He had agreed with Tony at the time, even superheroes need a break now and then and FRIDAY was just so young . Steve had been against letting other people get involved and he'd been talking about restricting FRIDAY before he'd left. He had no idea how that had turned out either. It had resulted in a few spectacular arguments at the time, but Bruce had always been impressed at how they could be butting heads, shouting bloody murder and then be sitting drinking coffee with each other later. Laughing and joking.. Mom and Dad to the Avengers.

Knowing that, he really wants to know what happened . He'd read about the Accords but that can't just be it. Even when their arguments got heated they came back together, but somehow , something had broken that. That had left Tony alone in a hospital bed, the others fugitives in the wind. Or was it something that happened gradually after he left? He'd ran after all, and he'd left Tony as Wanda's focus…

"Sorry to just drop in, I probably should have called ahead really, I hadn't expected so much to have changed around here."

"Ah Bruce, you know me. Always tinkering . Residential has been entirely revamped but all your stuff was moved to your new suite when it was finished. It's being aired out and stocked now, for however long your staying?"

He really shouldn't have been surprised that Tony had created a suite and kept it for him all this time, but he was.

"Thank you Tony, for having me back. I'm staying . I realised recently that for all my travels I was seeing here as home."

Tony looked happy but he could see that he wasn't fully convinced. Bruce knew that was pretty much his own fault, he practically had 'Flight Risk' tattooed on his head like Tony had 'Security Breach' on his. This time however he had a feeling that even if he did run, Hulk would drag him right back.

"Well, you always have a place here Bruce."

"I'm glad there is still room, but don't think that you are off the hook for not telling me about the coma or this Civil War fiasco."

Tony sighed as he lead them through the building, the weariness of that sigh dissolved some of Bruce's anger right there on the spot, leaving enough guilt to drown himself in, he wondered if his presence would have made a difference to how things turned out. He realised they seemed to be taking a slightly circuitous route but at the same time they were not running into anyone. Which he was quite thankful of, but as he couldn't hear FRIDAY, he wondered how he knew. 'Probably made the earpieces even smaller.' he thinks to himself. Hulk isn't as sure. He could hear the voices in others earpieces easily.

"I'll give you the run down in my apartment and then I'll take you to yours, you're on the floor below me.. There are only a few apartments on the top level as they're bigger, made sense to put all the kids together. The floor beneath you is the common floor."

Bruce nodded whilst checking everything out as they went. He felt slightly like a tourist trying to absorb everything. From the outside the residential zone was almost recognisable, but much taller, from inside there wasn't a chance. It seemed a lot cosier though, didn't seem like each floor was a suite anymore, but multiple people on each floor. When they came to the top floor he realised the doors were decorated, one was blank and the one opposite it looked like it was just being started. The 2 at the far end however we're heavily decorated with names and pictures around them. The designs had escaped the doors onto the walls around them. Just from a glance he noted that a lot of people seemed to live with Tony. Quite a difference to his large floors to himself.

"I see you got yourself a few housemates?"

"Just a few, the kids are at school so you're safe for a little while. Peter is going to love you. He goes to a different school than Harl and Ta, but they'll all be around tonight. They're going with Laura and her lot on a road trip this weekend. Platypus is off on a 'not-date'."

Looking around and Tony pulled out some tea that look suspiciously like the box Tony had bought him back at the Tower full of tea, leaving him to make a selection, making himself coffee. The place itself was very different to what he knew about Tony. Walls were utterly covered in pictures of Tony, Rhodes (in a wheelchair, that was going to take some getting used to), the kids and many smiling people he didn't know, he even saw a picture of him and Tony in the lab. Loads of people he didn't recognise, possibly from the press conference.

There were elements here and there, that reminded him of Tony's old floors. It was still very modern, there was a lot of tech, but surfaces weren't bare. Shelves were full. It actually looked lived in , more than any of Tony's properties ever had baring his workshop. The decorations looked more organic, like he and someone else designed it, rather than Pepper paying someone. Tony had never really cared about where he slept, just his workshop. This place however, it was warm and as lived in as the chaotic workshop was when he was last here. Even the coffee table was covered in what looked like calculus homework. There was a bookcase that looks purely devoted to school books. From a glance much of it was college level.

"So, where did you get kids from. I know I've been gone a while, but I didn't think I'd been gone that long!"

"Oh, I've known Harley and Tara for years, I mostly just popped in as the weird uncle and I made sure no one knew to keep them safe. Rhodey, Pepper and Happy where the only ones who knew. Harley saved my life during that thing with the Manderin. Peter, well I kind of found him swinging round Queens on spider webs fighting crime."

"I'm sorry, what?!"

Bruce wasn't sure which bit was crazier, he didn't remember Tony mentioning much from the Manderin, he regretted not asking more now, but the thing really throwing him was the crime fighting spider kid?

"Yeah, there was a whole thing with a radioactive spider. He doesn't live here all the time, lives with his Aunt May, but he spends a lot of time here. Best way to keep him safe or he'd go back to crime fighting in his pj's."

Tony rolled his eyes and Bruce was starting to see a resemblance between the two already. Idiots that go and fight crime when they could be at home.

"What about the other two?"

"Oh I'm their legal Guardian. Which was a bit of a shock coming out of a coma to discover, but they helped pull me through."

He couldn't help but smile as his friend was pulling the stereotypical dad move and was showing him pictures on his phone of his kids.

It kind of felt like bizarro world.

'TinMan is different, something happened.'

'Like what?'

'He's.. Buzzy.'

'Buzzy?!'

He just got a grunt in reply.

Buzzy.

That was so helpfully descriptive.

He could see there was a difference in him. Tony had always been sure of himself and carried a certain confidence that Bruce had often longed for, but now he seemed more… settled in himself. It was hard to quantify but there was a certain quality he had now that he didn't have before. He also looked much better, like he was possibly sleeping and eating even! He looked healthy .

"So, I have tea, you have coffee. Sit. Tell me about this coma. "

Tony rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, relaxing back into the sofa. Obviously trying to work out where to start from.

"You remember Extremis? That slow version I used to take the Arc Reactor out."

He nodded in response, Dr Cho had worked with it and he'd managed to deactivate it before it even spread from his heart. He also noticed Tony was starting this from the middle.

"And why did you have to use it again?"

"Well, when Vision brought me in, I wasn't in a great way, Dr Cho, Dr Wu and Rhodes used that and the cradle but didn't get anywhere. They left both active for a full 6 days, and whilst I did improve, I stayed under. It was like my body had finally used up its reserves to hang on, and I was still slipping deeper into the coma."

"6 days… That would make deactivating it tricky.."

"Yeah, they worried if I went too deep, that I'd never wake up and just purist at that stage. So they kept it going. At 6 days my protocols let Rhodey have access to my private servers. Not sure if you remember that little side project of mine that you occasionally joined in on in secret?"

"The Extremis virus that we stripped bare and built up as far as possible without causing explosions? Yeah, but that was never intended to be used on people."

"Nope, I'd carried on working on it too, it was much, much larger. But it was all Rhodey had, there wasn't a middle ground, no one involved felt confident to change the formula incase it unbalanced and they couldn't wake me to do it. So Rhodes made the decision and gave it to me, I slipped into a much deeper coma for several more days and I woke up… different. "

Bruce flinched, dammit , if he'd been around, he might have been able to strip back the formula for Tony. He didn't outright say it but the implication was there. If Tony had been continuing to work on it, then it was probably more advanced than when he'd left. They'd been trying to increase the speed and strength as well as regeneration abilities without it becoming Unstable back then. Gods know what Tony added in the meantime. Tony had always had more fantastical ideas.

"And you can't neutralise it can you?"

"Nope, I've effectively had the virus 3 times now, it's basically hard coded to my DNA. Even so, it couldn't fix everything, it couldn't regrow dead tissue. I never worked a way around the exothermic overload for the full regrowth properties. Even if I could remove it, I might end up with serious problems."

"Dead tissue? Tony, what put you in this coma? I couldn't find anything online.. Usually big missions are well publicised."

Tony tapped a few times on the back of his left hand, he immediately noticed the sound was.. Off. He was about to question when Tony started speaking.

"You read about the spat me and Steve had?"

"Yeah, the airport, over the Accords?"

"Yeah. Well, we had another one that only select people know about. Turns out he'd been keeping a big secret from me. He knew my parents were murdered. He knew who by and he was using me to find him behind my back."

Bruce didn't know what he was more shocked by, Steve, who had berated Tony so much about secrets, had kept something so monumental from him or that it had ended with Tony in a coma. He knew Tony's relationship and connections to his parents were fraught with a lot he left unsaid, Bruce recognised signs from himself so he didn't push, he didn't want to talk about it so he doubted Tony did.

Tony had spent practically his entire life hating a drunk driver to discover he was a murder victim? That must be hard to deal with.

He also had to wonder just how this had been kept from the press so well. He suspected things would have been more crazed if that picture of him in the hospital had that the damage was done by Captain America! He was also eyeing Tony's hand because the tapping really did not sound like flesh on flesh, especially with his hearing so enhanced.

"Shit Tony. That is.. What happened ?"

Tony noticed his less than subtle staring. Rolled his eyes, snagging a tablet from somewhere, a hologram popping up, he stared for a few seconds, amazed at how far even this had come in his absence. With a few flicks he brought up information about his hand so he could look through as they spoke. In his defence, he'd been away from people for a long time, plus, this was Tony. If anyone didn't care for keeping to social conventions it was him. When he passed it over, he tapped his hand again, the flesh colour receding into a red disk, his hand was a matte black, he couldn't see how far up it went however.

"I found all that crap out in Hydra base, in Siberia. In front of the man, who by the way, is Bucky Barnes. Caps best pal from the 40s. Another super soldier, seriously there must have been something in the water back then, who Hydra had in the freezer when he wasn't being a brainwashed assassin."

He paused in his manipulation of the image of the hand, Tony's cybernetic hand, he was nauseated to think that Tony's hand, wrist and half his forearm had to be amputated. Because of Steve . He really wanted to know how something like that could happen. Yeah he got that Steve and Tony were fighting, but to have a limb amputated, with all the med tech and Extremis that Tony had available? That was quite serious. Even before he left, Tony's med tech was amazing. Healing things in days that took weeks. So far however pretty much every time Tony spoke, things just got.. More confusing.

"Bucky Barnes?! Hydra? What ?"

He removed his glasses, rubbing his hands over his face before concentrating on cleaning them. He'd expected some strange stuff, but this just seemed insane.

"We ended up fighting after Cap admitted he knew. Had known. For years . My suit ended up disabled via a vibranium Frisbee to the chest and I spent some time enjoying spring in Siberia until Vision came. I'll send you files on Barnes and everything so you can get up to date. This is like a… recap."

It was obvious he didn't want to be taking any this, evident by how he managed to be almost flippant as he mentioned being in Siberia in a powered down Ironman suit. He knew it wasn't uncommon for temperatures to drop to -40°C in the winter. He guessed the amputation was due to frostbite, just the idea of that set his teeth on edge and he had to calm himself down, Hulk was pissed, Tony was probably lucky that he only lost one hand. He desperately wanted to ask him if anything else was damaged, but he had some tact.

Vibranium Frisbee.. Steve. Oh gods, he slammed that shield into the arc reactor?! In a way, they're lucky it just powered down, that could have wiped the base off of the map.

It also made sense at the lack of press, they could be tenacious when it came to following Tony, but the middle of Siberia in a secret Hydra base was apparently too much even for them.

"What else did Extremis change?"

"I have some interesting abilities now, faster, stronger and all that stuff we coded in. You know we theorised that Extremis could potentially allow a person to interface with technology?"

"Yeah?"

Tony just grinned as the TV in front of them turned on.

"The compound is easy, it's how I saw you outside, I can see the feeds in my head, outside of the compound its not as seamless, but I've been practicing. It helps that my tech is everywhere."

"I had been coming up with all manner of awful things that had happened to you, somehow you've blown them all out of the water. You going to show me what's behind the glasses? You never wore them around me before."

He gestured to the glasses before turning his attention back to the tablet. Hoping to give Tony space and to not feel too pressured. Instead of pulling the glasses off however, Tony touched them and they dissolved into a silver looking dust and vanished into his sleeve, not noticing that Bruce's eyebrows shot up at that as his eyes were shut. Tony had a habit of getting comfortable with a certain level and advancement in tech and forgetting that not everyone is there yet. He'd never thought he'd be so far behind again and not for the first time he was hit with a sense of loss and a wish that he hadn't gone on the run, again. He still wasn't sure how to bring up Ultron, how to apologise, but he figured now might not be the best plan, it would be selfish to dump that now after all this. Tony still had his eyes closed when he spoke again.

"Don't freak out."

He'd been about to assure him he wouldn't when he just opened his eyes and there was a moment he very nearly did. It was like seeing the eyes from the suit but in his head, the most jarring thing was that it was only one eye. He wondered if it would be less strange if both of his eyes had been affected? His usual whiskey brown was a glaring contrast next to the bright, shining arc reactor blue on the other side. It also meant that like his hand, his left eye must have been beyond repair.

"That's certainly different, the colour is a lot like your reactor."

"Yeah, we never factored in what traces of Starkanium in the blood would do to Extremis. Apparently the answer is 'weird shit' . I See things.."

"Things?"

"Yeah, colours around people mostly. I can see that Hulk is listening, I can see you both as separate beings in there, he's slightly back. It's.. hard to explain."

Well that was different and maybe what Hulk had mentioned? Maybe with his increased senses Hulk could feel something that he couldn't?

"Well, that really hadn't been something we'd predicted. But then we'd never intended it to be used or mixed with anything else, I'm happy you did though. I'd rather have you with us and weird than not at all."

Tony shot him a grin and he tried to push down the dread that folded over him at the idea that Tony could have died alone, cold in Siberia whilst he'd been sitting in a foreign country none the wiser.

Or he could have never come out of the coma.

How long until he'd have realised something was wrong?

Every time that he'd gone on the run, he'd always been thinking about how he needed to get away.

He'd always expected things to be the same back here. Tony and Steve heading the team, saving people.

Tony was his constant.

It had never even occurred to him that Tony might not be there for him to return to. It was like being doused in freezing water that he might have died and who would have even known to message him?

The idea of standing in a foreign country reading about the death of Ironman. Of Tony Stark? In some random newspaper or overhearing a discussion. It was hard to pin back the shudder. He noticed that Tony was looking at him, no around him frowning slightly.

"I'm fine Bruce, I'm just a little different, still here. It's taken some getting used to, but I'm getting better. I'll send you some more information as this speedy recap is missing it a lot. Here, this is the Extremis code that we used, just make sure no one else sees it. And stop feeling guilty."

He was about to say something about how crazy this situation was that Tony was trying to make HIM feel better when in reality, Tony should be mad at him. But a noise above Tony's head drew his attention and distracted him.

Was that… A cat flap?

"Oh Bruce, you have to meet Goose!"

"You have a cat? That has cat flaps? In the vents?"

The vents reminded him so much of Clint it shocked him before he remembered that he was also gone. His first thought was what would Clint think about a cat being in his vents, followed up quickly with nothing, because he isn't here. Just, so much had changed, there were so many new Avengers to meet that it was nerve racking. He hoped it went better than the original way he'd met the Avengers. That was a low bar, but still.

"She's not mine, but she uses the vents to visit me from Carol's apartment. I eventually installed cat flaps for her so she'd stop whacking the grates open."

Tony scooped up the oddly named cat who immediately started purring and headbutting him.

"Huh. Okay."

"She's also an alien. A space cat."

He didn't really know if there was anything he could say about that. He really couldn't tell if Tony was joking.

Tony spent a while explaining all of the new people to him, he still wasn't sure if the space at comment was a joke or not. He was surprised to find out that a few of them were already friends with Tony and wondered just how much of his life he kept separate from the Avengers. That had obviously changed. There were a few people he was definitely interested in meeting, learning that in infamous surgeon, Dr Strange had become a sorcerer, oh sorry, The Sorcerer Supreme, that was definitely weird. By the time Tony was getting ready to show him to his rooms he felt like he'd been through an information flood and was surprised how much time had vanished.

Gold suddenly flashed in Tony's right eye and he broke out into a huge grin.

"Well, if you don't want to be inundated with children, you might want to head to your room because they just got dropped off and are heading this way."

He considered running to his rooms, but decided not to. These kids were important to Tony and dodging them straight after coming back seemed unkind. Even if it was terrifying.

"I don't mind, I'd like to meet them if you don't mind. And do you just know everything that is happening around here?"

The smile on his friends face told him that he'd made the right decision.

"You can stay for dinner if you like? I have access to pretty much everything FRIDAY has, except things with privacy locks, and there is more space in here. I've been rendering Rhodey's latest braces design at the same time, and a few StarPhone and StarkPad upgrades.."

The idea of a person being capable of most of FRIDAY'S routines was a lot, he wondered just how much Extremis had changed his mind as Tony flicked his fingers towards Bruce's tablet and the braces came up, things changing as he ran them through different tests. The speed it was happening was frankly amazing and Tony didn't seem to be actively focusing on it, he got so lost in it he hadn't even noticed Tony had made his way to the kitchen and was pulling things out. He jumped up, shocked to see Tony cooking.

"So, you cook now?"

"Oh laugh it up. Me and Peter require an annoying amount of food, as does Carol when she visits. Plus, the kids are not allowed to live on takeout. With so many of us having increased metabolism, we have to be careful. Luckily I prepped this earlier, lasagne in the oven. Just sides and Peters insistence that I eat vegetables."

Tony rolled his eyes and Bruce joined in helping, he had missed cooking for more than one person. Cooking for yourself got boring pretty quick and food just became fuel whilst on the move. Cooking for other people.. It had a different feel to it, he hadn't noticed much before he moved in with the Avengers, but having big meals with several people had become important to him.

The door opened quite loudly, Tony just rolled his eyes so he guessed it was normal. 3 young girls skidded into the room and froze staring at Bruce. He was slightly confused as Tony had only mentioned 1 girl but he didn't seem concerned. 3 teenage boys were not far behind the tallest with floppy hair spotted him first and gave him a critical look. One looked slightly concerned, a little nervous and the other, which he'd guess by the gobsmacked response would potentially be Peter that Tony had mentioned.

"You're Dr Banner!"

That seemed to unstick everyone as 2 of the girls mobbed Tony, the 3rd was a little unsure and Tony squatted down to talk to her.

"You joining us for dinner today then Cassie? And yes Peter, that is Dr Banner. Brucie bear, meet the hyper hoard. Hoard, meet bruce."

The shy girl gave Tony a quick hug as the other girls detached, waved at him and ran towards the table. Tony rolled his eyes but was smiling.

"Tara sets up the table because everyone else does it wrong."

Out of the 3 teenagers, one was leveling quite an impressive glare at him, that was Harley if he remembered right from the pictures, Peter was just bouncing up and down. The slightly more nervous teen moved to Tony, leaning on him in what he assumed was a teenage boy version of a hug. Tony immediately wrapped an arm around him and the relief on the kids face was palpable. He was sure he recognised him, but the name wasn't coming to him.

"Uncle Tony, mom will be around later, can you help me with my calculus homework again?"

"Sure thing Coop, I'd love to help. Harley, be nice. Peter, you are going to end up on the ceiling if you don't calm down."

Coop? Cooper maybe? He mentioned Laura earlier, but he still found himself surprised that Barton's kids had such a level of familiarity with Tony and the younger girl he didn't even slightly recognise. Harley rolled his eyes and he couldn't help but see Tony in the kid, just a Tony with actual height. Harley and Tony bumped shoulders and quietly spoke as Peter practically vibrated over to him. Cooper stayed quite close to Tony glancing over at Bruce, as if trying to figure him out. He seemed to be nervous with new faces if he had to guess, but then they did live on a farm in the middle of nowhere last he'd checked.

"Hi Dr Banner, I've read all 7 of your dissertations."

"I, uh, hope they were interesting?"

Tony was smirking at him over Harleys shoulder and Bruce wasn't entirely sure what to do but thankfully Peter was able to carry the conversation with questions that he found easy to answer. After so long away, it was nice to be talking science . With someone as enthusiastic as this kid was, it was great.

He hadn't even heard Laura come in, she was just suddenly there holding a young child practically in front of him. Tony immediately shot forward much to his shock and scooped up the kid who was patting his face.

"Ohh gimme! Hello Niblet."

"Ah, I see we have another for dinner today?"

Laura took up what Tony had been working on as Tony was talking to the kid. Now he'd known in theory that Tony liked kids. But seeing it was incredibly strange. Tony was full on smiling and cradling a tiny child. It was weird .

"Yup, Laura this is Bruce, I don't know why I just introduced you because I just remembered that you've already met. Bruce this is Nibbles, he's so cute it should be illegal."

"Tony, you go play with Nate, I'll finish up."

She rolled her eyes as Tony flashed her and Bruce a grin before heading in the direction the others had headed after setting up the table, the teens followed closely. Yeah, it was definitely a weird seeing so many children practically hanging off of his friend. The girls had sat on the floor around his legs, Cooper, who apparently was the owner of the books he'd seen earlier, which was impressive because he'd thought they belonged to a much older student, was quietly asking him questions, leaning against him. Harley was also leaning against him on the other side and occasionally shooting him looks over his shoulder. He had a feeling that Harley did not like him. Tony didn't even glance but with the arm not holding Nate, reached out and tugged Harley against him, ruffling his hair. The teen complained vocally, but Bruce noticed that he didn't pull away. The whole thing was adorable.

"Were off for the whole weekend, Tony was going to come but a bunch of work got dumped on him. He's insisted we still go, but the kids will miss him. It's pretty normal for them to sit like that around him however, he's only recently noticed it."

Now that sounded like Tony.

"We have to make lots of pictures for him though! And bring back souvenirs! Make sure it's as if he's with us!"

Peter seemed like it was a mission which was cute, then the kid grinned at him, jumped. Stuck the ceiling and walked over to others. Bruce just blinked before remembering what Tony said about radioactive spiders. Which apparently lead to walking on the ceiling. Because reasons?

"Yeah. You get use to Pete after a while."

"I'm not sure that's possible.."

He eyed the boy hanging from the ceiling, chatting to the others as if he was just stood in front of him and Tony caught his eye and grinned. As strange as it was, it oddly worked. Cooper, Clints kid had somehow found his way under Tony's arm too as the looked over the book, Harley and Peter were playing catch with a scrunched up ball of paper, which would have been normal, except Peter was still on the ceiling. Nate? The kid was curled up against Tony's chest, babbling happily, occasionally patting Tony's face, obviously fond of his left eye. The girls were clustered together at his feet. There were loads of free seats, they were just pulled to Tony like magnets.

"FRIDAY, take some pictures for me?"

"I have taken several Ms Morgan and will distribute them to everyone on the list."

Tony was always trying to make a home for people, adults might not have noticed how important that was, not until it was almost too late, like him. But kids, they were the kind to notice and it was clear, they gravitated towards him, it was obvious they saw safety in him. Plus, from what little he knew so far, he guessed that not many of them had had an easy life. The Barton's (Morgan's?) had their father being a wanted fugitive gods know where. (Although he had to admit, with Tony's uncanny ability to find him. He probably knew where the others were.) Before that they'd been quite isolated at that farm. Harley and Tara had found themselves parentless and Tony in a coma, and Peter only had an aunt mentioned, that spoke of loss somewhere. He didn't know the story of the other little one, but she was tentative when they arrived but was now curled around Tony's leg. Tony's need to give people a home, it obviously meant a lot to all of them.

Dinner was chaotic, but it was the best meal he'd had in a long time. Eating with people, Maggie and Jim turned up as well and he discovered that Cassie was their girl. No one mentioned why they were at the compound and he figured he'd ask Tony later, they were new to the compound which was why their door was slightly bare compared to the others. Cassie had quietly asked Tony to draw her butterflies around her name and watching Tony get all flustered and blushing was a definite highlight of the meal.

He'd been worried transitioning back into being near people would be hard, but he found it oddly easy with these people. The kids took most of the attention, Peter had discovered even more questions to ask him, Harley still glared however, but most importantly no one was scared of him. He found out that practically all of them were in advanced placement of some kind in different areas. Even the younger ones, Lilah would apparently take anything to pieces and Tara preferred software engineering. They couldn't be older than 10 yet were very excited about these things!

By the time he eventually headed back to his room, the tablet Tony had given him was now apparently his and it had so much on it for him to look into. Including the Accords. He wanted to read and find out exactly what had happened whilst he was gone, read this document that finally ignited the chemical bomb the Avengers were and find out more about what Steve had done to Tony. He'd also included more information about Siberia and what had happened in his absence. He understood why Tony was doing it this way, as casual and flippant as he tried to be, Tony was still hurting.

The rooms were smaller than they had been, but were still very nice, a kitchenette attached to a living room and a few rooms off to the side which Tony had showed him were a bedroom, study and bathroom. Compared to his tent it was huge. All his stuff was in boxes, and looking around, he was surprised how much there was.

For years he'd lived out of the bag, never owning much as he wouldn't be able to take it with him. Without realising it he noticed, he must have seen the tower and here as home. He'd not amassed so much stuff since before the Hulk was born.

He settled in to sort out his things and read the Accords.

Carol POV

1st October

Rhodes has texted her over an hour ago now that he couldn't find Tony. He'd completely vanished. He'd thrown himself into work pretty much the second the kids went off for the trip on Thursday. He'd avoided speaking to people and had skipped out on dinners and breakfasts. He'd even ducked out from going to lunch with Shay yesterday. All in all, Carol had been increasingly concerned, but at the same time she'd had been watching, waiting for something like this to happen.

Tony had come out and told a lot of people lots of deeply painful things, he was still dodging any talk about Matt appealing his case about Ultron and generally avoided talking about it at all. Then Bruce had come back and he'd had to talk about everything again and from what Rhodes had told her, he hadn't brought up that Bruce skipping Town had dumped all of the anger, blame, and hatred born from that event squarely onto his shoulders. He'd pretty much flat out ignored Ultron. He'd given an extremely light recap of events too.

Rhodes had hoped Bruce coming back would be helpful for teaching Tony control with his abilities. Bruce had to have a certain degree of emotional control when it came to the Hulk and he knew that Tony had missed him. They had had a good talk the day after he'd arrived apparently, Bruce had given him meditation tapes and Carol thought they were okay. They'd even spent some time discussing his abilities without Tony pulling faces at the word 'ability' .

Then Tony practically vanished into his work. Rhodes said it was pretty normal and she might have been convinced to stay back.

But she'd had a feeling .

She'd had it since Tony had shown them everything and it had been steadily building up like pressure. Tony had always seemed to feel he wasn't allowed to feel bad, and as such, he shoved everything down and got angry at himself over what he perceived as weakness in himself. She had no idea what had created such behaviour, she just knew the line her and Rhodey got out of him in college. 'Stark men are made of Iron.' She'd hoped in her time off planet, whilst he was with Rhodes, that he would have found some peace regarding that. Rhodes hadn't updated her on everything she'd missed, she thought that maybe he was waiting for Tony to do it.

As a teen he'd been far to good at hiding pain but lacked even the most basic socialising skills or knowledge of friend groups and got by on bravado mostly. She'd hoped in the time she'd been away that it had improved, that he'd been around good people, really it seemed like he'd just gotten better at hiding things and playing the part people expected of him. For a while it seemed he had lost himself to it. He'd confessed to her once that it was exhausting to mask that much, and sometimes he wondered if he wore it so much that he'd lose himself. That he wondered if he even knew basic facts about himself because he'd spent so long being 'on'.

Maybe because he was still this scrawny, awkward, gangly teen to her, it was easier for her to see through it. He was better in some ways, he was much happier now, but he was still stuffing things down as if he wasn't allowed to feel them.

There was no way someone like Tony could finally just open up and tell people something he'd been hiding so well, not when it was connected to such highly emotional and volatile events, not without something happening. Especially with this habit of bottling up. Of not giving himself a chance to feel. It will escape somewhere. Whether it was explosive or Tony pulling back into himself, she didn't know.

After Rhodes told her that he'd practically boiled himself in a shower hot enough to scald him in seconds through layers of towels, just to get warm again? Yeah, she'd been watching.

FRIDAY couldn't tell them where he was, she knew it wasn't because Tony had ordered her not to. After a few panic attacks, Rhodey had an override for that. His extremis abilities almost seemed to have acted for him in other events, like when he was cold or panicked, it kept raising the temperature. Now, it was concealing him.

Rhodey had used all the overrides and still FRIDAY didn't know where he was, and neither did CERBERUS. All they knew was that he hadn't left the compound. Rhodes and the AIs were scanning through the security now after confirming he hadn't left. Even if he had a disruptor on, Rhodes knew what to look for. Tony had gotten the disruptors to work very well, but what looked like a lense flare, small and barely noticeable, was left but if you knew what you were looking for, you could find the person using it.

She could move faster, especially outside, so she was combing the outside of the compound. She'd finished the woods and was now flying loops around to see if she could get a hint of where to go next or for Rhodes to message her.

There was a flash of blue out of the corner of her eye and she felt a pull to her left. Not questioning the gut instinct she immediately followed it and finally saw Tony sat on the edge of the tallest building in the compound. Feet dangling over the edge, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Looking out over the lake. He was wearing jeans that looked to be made of oil stains and mess, and a very loose looking long sleeved shirt.

His hand uncovered, but she knew that was because Peter had taken it back for tweaking. He also wasn't wearing glasses. Any other day, seeing him so uncaring about covering these things would make her happy, but today she doubted it was because he was accepting these things.

She wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but he looked thinner too, even after such a short amount of time. She doubted he'd been eating enough for his increased metabolism. He practically had a sharp, fractured aura around him, unsure why she was feeling like that, maybe she was just projecting but she felt a connection to the man and wondered if it was the tesseract that had had a hand in both their changes, shaking her head, that wasn't important right now, only that it had maybe helped her find him, so she pushed on to speak to him.

She landed on the smaller roof in front of him, not wanting to come up and land on the ledge from behind, even if a suit could catch him if he fell. Heck, with his augmentations he might even be able to land safe, but now wasn't the time to test that. She then hopped the gap to land next to him. Slowly sitting down next to him, slightly concerned that he had barely acknowledged her presence, even when he went into the uplink he kept an eye on people around him usually, there was no flash gold in his eye, so it didn't look like he was in the uplink. She fired of a text to Rhodes about where he was, only to get a string of profanity back. His chair couldn't reach this roof apparently.

"Tony?"

He didn't reply but he straightened his back, staring at the woods instead, it was dark out and it was chilly enough that people outside were thick wearing coats, so Tony sat in a thin looking shirt would be strange normally, with his current aversion to anything slightly cold it was setting of alarm bells in her head.

"Hey, Tony, why don't we go inside where it's warm, okay? It's freezing out here."

Dammit why didn't she bring a coat?

"You know the desert at night is freezing too. Especially when you're trapped in a cave network in dirty, shredded clothes.. "

There was so little tone or inflection in how he spoke that it was just making her worry more . She wanted to get him inside and cursed herself for not bringing a coat for the second time, but now she was here, she didn't want to run off and get one.

"If you want to talk about what happened, let's do it inside, Rhodey can make hot chocolate."

"The days, they burned. Scorched the sand. The heat was dry, oppressive but so dry that it felt like you hadn't drank in days.. Made your skin burn, redden and crack. Even in the caves it was oppressive. But I was never alone. Not like Siberia. Yinsen.. He…"

"Come on Tony, your shivering, please come inside.."

He carried on talking as if she wasn't there or talking to him. She wasn't sure what to do, grabbing him and dragging him inside was tempting but she knew would be bad. He was at least responding to her presence as he didn't talk until she sat down. She had no idea who Yinsen was, but then she really didn't know much about about Afghanistan.

"The shakes hurt you know, when you are freezing, especially with my injuries, but when they stop… When they stop is when you really start to worry.

Well, I tried to worry, but the confusion was setting in and it was hard, I passed out a few times and I'm pretty sure I was delirious, and I kept trying to remember why I was scared. Why would I be scared that I had finally stopped shaking?"

She really wanted to text Rhodey and ask what she could do in this situation. They were friends, but Rhodey had been here when she couldn't. He would know what to do.

"Because the shaking fucking hurt. But not shaking.. Not shaking meant something. Meant something worse, but thinking got harder and I was thinking that it was great. That it stopped. It meant the metal wasn't slicing into me. It wasn't ripping apart skin that had frozen to the icy metal.

But part of me knew it was bad. The shaking stopping meant the body was so desperate to conserve what little energy it had left, that it gave up trying to save my limbs."

"Tony, please, come inside, you'll feel better if you warm up a bit, get some food?"

"The cold burned after a while. My hands felt on fire, my legs, even my face and Gods, my back ..."

He finally turned and faced her, his face unreadable but his eyes focused directly on her and she noticed that Tony gaze had a sort of weight to it. To having all of that intellect focused on you. She'd never noticed it before when he was smiling and chatting, but now it was like a force unto itself.

"Carol, Why am I always finding myself on fire or freezing?

I just traded in the sand and burning heat for ice and howling wind. The dessert froze at night, and I was burning from the ice in Siberia."

"I don't know sweetheart but you aren't there now, you're here, with you're friends and family."

He nodded before looking back out over the trees and Carol wished she knew more about his time in Afghanistan and afterwards so she could know what was best to do in this situation. She didn't want to do something to make him worse so she felt utterly useless, because whilst sitting out in the chilly October speaking in a slightly disjointed fashion was definitely not good. She knew that it could be much worse.

The least she could do was listen. Maybe getting it out would help?

"It's weird things like that that stuck out you know. Like back in Afghanistan."

She had a feeling she'd regret asking this question, but she did it anyway.

"What stood out from Afghanistan?"

"When they hold you under water, the pain isn't so much the water flooding your lungs, well that hurts but holding your breath hurts more. But you can't stop it. Fuck I even tried a few times, but you can't until you hit the edge. Even though I knew they'd bring me up, bring me back, I couldn't speed it up. Couldn't let that breath go. Even if you scream, it's like… Just enough gets held back a bit."

She's not sure what she can even say to that, she knew so little about Afghanistan, that he was asked to make weapons, apparently had open heart surgery which was the only bit of information he'd told her directly. But he'd been waterboarded too? She couldn't think about it much as Tony pulled one of his legs up, resting the side of his head on his knee, tilted slightly in her direction. Still talking in that detached, oddly clinical way.

"That stupid survival instinct.. It stops you from opening your mouth, from letting the water in until your head feels like it's actually exploding, like white explosions behind your eyelids, this pressure builds and builds in your head, 'till you can feel blood thundering in your brain and you have to wonder…

"If you keep holding your breath, what damage is it doing? What are you losing with each second you can't stop it? Then it snaps and the water surges in and for a second there is no pain that your almost floating."

His snap of his fingers when he said snaps made her jump slightly, she starts to speak but he carries on.

" Then you're choking up rancid water into the bucket and you get a few breaths, if your lucky, and then it's down again. Rinse and repeat. Over and over.

"Like the shaking though, none of that was the worst part."

She can't help but blink at that. Her brain scrambling to predict what he's going to say next, wanting to text Rhodes for advice without being rude and wanted to wrap him up from the world. She'd already known he'd been through too much, but having him talk about being tortured for months with so little inflection concerned her.

"The worst part… the worst part was that the idiots seemed to fucking forget they'd strapped an car battery to power the fucking electromagnetic in my chest, that was keeping me alive.

"Occasionally water would hit the wires and.. Spark, burning my skin and I could feel it inside me. So I tried not to move, I tried so hard to be still whilst they held me under, so the water wouldn't splash, but apparently if people hold you underwater it's hard to be still.

"I should have died in Afghanistan, but I just kept on going."

"You got out though. Those people can't do that to you again."

He nodded before looking back over the forest again.

"In Siberia, no one was torturing me, I was just left. There was no one to beat. No one to trick. Just pain, haggered breaths, the taste of blood and ice, the creeping cold that took parts of me away bit by bit. And I was such a pathetic idiot because I was so sure Rogers would tell someone where I was."

"Tony, you won't be left again, you can't get rid of us that easily. Expecting a friend to tell people where you were doesn't make you pathetic. It makes him an atrocious human being."

He hummed non committedly and Carol shifted closer to him. She wanted to hug him but still didn't want to startle him so just brushed her shoulder against him and sat there. It took awhile but he eventually leaned against her.

"You know what the worst part is about this damned ability? I don't get to be mad. I don't get to be fucking angry. Just one look at Nat, T'Challa, Shay, Bruce.. and its gone because I can See . I know it sounds selfish, but sometimes I just want to be angry."

"You're still allowed to be angry, even if people had reasons Tony."

"But you can't See Natka. She didn't betray me because of any of the reasons I felt, Rogers.. He.. He was her anchor after Clint left. He was literally her moral compass . Even though she agreed with me she followed because that's what she does and she felt it would lead to less loss of life because it was Roger's. The others too, I can See why they did what they did, how they're hurting and all I feel is an overwhelming desire to Help that I can't turn it off."

Carol wasn't sure she could understand that, but then Tony did have a greater understanding about things like this and she couldn't argue it. They way he'd forgiven them was amazing, she didn't think she could have forgiven them. Helped them. That fact he felt compelled to help didn't sit comfortably with her, he should be allowed to be angry. His emotions mattered just as much but again he was putting himself aside to help others. They'd have to work out a way to protect him from this.

"It doesn't mean you didn't get hurt though. It doesn't mean you're feelings don't matter just as much as theirs."

"That never really matters."

His shrug and bland tone at that definitely had her concerned.

"Of course it matters Tony. That matters a damned lot."

"What happens if I See Rogers and it wipes my anger? I don't want to let him close again, I can't trust him. I'm terrified I'll See him and be compelled to help and I'll be right back to where we were post Ultron. Living on the edge, hated, worse because I'll actually See how much, useful for my money, barely tolerated "

"Well if that happens look to Rhodey. He's still angry at everyone . Things will never be like that again Tony, the team, the kids, they adore you. We've missed you in just these last few days! "

He huffed and leaned against her a little more, she felt his temperature raising to combat the cold and took it as a good sign for now.

She fired of a text explaining what had happened and was shocked to find Rhodes relieved? That he hadn't blown things, or himself up, was apparently Rhodes base level and he told her that he'd explain what she was missing with Tony if he was OK with it. Whilst she was kind of intrigued, Tony's unemotional delivery of his trials deeply concerned her, she was definitely going to start looking for a therapist he could potentially trust as soon as they were inside.

It took about an hour before she managed to coax him inside, no one said anything about it but everyone came over for an absolutely huge dinner and stuck around long after for movies. Basically creating a puppy pile around Tony. She started looking through the therapists on staff and short listed a few.

Carol knew it wasn't a snap fix, but he'd eaten and eventually fallen asleep, with his legs on Rhodey and his head in her lap in the middle of a movie. Her fingers combing through his hair. Whilst not a fix, it was better than not eating and hiding away, clearly his enhanced metabolism had a nasty rebound affect. He'd eaten nearly double his normal portion and he still looked a little off. Extremis could burn a lot of his energy and body it seemed in a short period of time.

Rhodes looked finally relaxed, smiled at her and mouthed 'Thank You.'

She looked down at him, twitching slightly in his sleep, curled in, protecting his chest even now. He calmed when she started combing his hair again, Levi fluttered over and draped over Tony too. The look on Stephens face was thunderous but his eyes softened when they fell on Tony. The Sorcerer had requested any files from when Tony was admitted from Rhodes, he only had hard copies, Tony would have found digital ones and he'd given them up under threat of falling for an hour. The sorcerer had been incandescent with rage at first and in a snap it was gone, so similar to Tony, they could burn and burn with anger until it reached a certain point, until it iced over. He'd promised to stay his hand for now, but eventually he would have words and no one would stand in his way.

If she'd ever doubted how close Tony was with the man, seeing the look on his face now wiped it. They might not be related, Tony might be older, but Stephen saw Tony as a little brother. Today had been a reminder to how close he'd gotten to losing him.

Rhodey POV

2nd October

"He sent me a sodding letter!"

Tony practically shrieked as he all but flounced dramatically into the room where Rhodey was lying on the floor, face set in a grimace as he finished up his daily torture. Also known as 'Physical Therapy' .

He'd usually complain about the dramatic flouncing, especially when he was utterly knackered, but after the scare last night… Tony dramatically flouncing into rooms was an extreme improvement he was happy to see it.

Jules had just left, which was pretty good for Tony, because she'd been emailing him exercises designed for enhanced humans for a while now for Tony, he knew she wasn't the kind to spill information but he'd still kept the extent of Tony's augmentations quite limited. She already knew Tony had Extremis and had helped him deal with the excess energy problem he'd had in the beginning, there had been so many explosions before then that he'd been desperate. Now, he had just timed things so she saw Tony moving his equipment around to give her a better idea with Tony having to have yet another discussion .

Tony had already gotten slightly used to his enhanced strength and occasionally forgot about it. Because that was just Tony. Picking up extremely heavy pieces of equipment and carrying them around the lab for example. So Jules had been reworking her original plans for him to adapt for it. He took the advice, grumpily, usually. But Tony knew when to listen to others for things he was not an expert in and Jules had been with SHIELD for decades helping humans, supers and everything in between. After last night however, he didn't want Jules to dump that on him now. Give him some kind of a chance to bounce back first.

He'd known having the kids go without him was a bad idea. A catastrophically bad idea, so bad he was currently ignoring Pepper.

Tony, having not gotten a response from him flopped down on the chair in front of him and continued ranting at him. That's about when he actually processed what he'd said. 'Wait? Who sent a letter ?'

"Just what is it with this supposed greatest generation and their weird attachment to sending me letters? On paper! In the post! The post is for buying things online. Not this antiquated form of correspondence."

Tony has a grimace on his face, holding the letter out in front of him with an expression Rhodes thinks would make more sense if he was holding a dirty diaper rather than a letter. Considering Tony occasionally dealt with Nate with more grace than holding that letter, it was highly amusing.

"Of course it is, it has no other use at all- wait. Greatest generation? What? Rogers send you another 'non apology'?"

Rhodey added a sneer to the end, remembering that letter, a poor attempt to poke Tony's buttons and have him lay down from them to trample over, again. At least that's how he'd read it. 'Sucks for them!' he can't help but think, as far as he'd known, Tony had read it once and tossed it and the phone in a draw somewhere. Maybe even in the trash. Hopefully forgotten, he'd never mentioned it again anyway. He hated to think what would have happened if he'd read it before spending a solid 2 weeks with Harley and Tara. They really helped Tony start to see things differently . So it had been harder for Rogers to sink his hooks in.

Thanks to that bastard Tony had to live with the consequences of his lies. He hated what had happened to his brother in Siberia and how utterly helpless he was to do anything about it. He'd woken up and Tony had been missing, no one knew where or even how long he'd been gone as FRIDAY'S data had been purged. All they knew was half off a distress call, location Siberia with no time or date. Vision had combed Siberia, day and night searching for him. It hadn't been until day 6 after they got him back until FRIDAY could even show him the fight from the suit camera. So they had no idea who had even done this, although they had assumptions. The shield, the arm, the damage of the suit…

How he will forever have the image of his brother, seared into his mind, from when the suit was removed. Sometimes he still sees it when he closes his eyes.

Last night had vividly reminded him that those hours in the cold, alone, just like those months in that cave, had wrought fundamental changes in Tony. Carved into his skin, settled in his mind. Carol had told him some of what Tony had said on the roof, she'd been pale and utterly furious at the same time and he'd ended up telling her more about Afghanistan, about Stane, about the palladium poisoning, about Shield. He hadn't even gotten to New York yet. All with Tony's blessing, he didn't feel up to having the conversation of the top 10 worst moments in his life.

Tony had basically a bomb dropped on his life, again, by Rogers. Yet another person he trusted betraying him. Being forced to adapt to everything changing again, let alone adapting to Extremis, was not something he'd be over with a shitty apology letter. Although being surrounded by people who give instead of just taking was finally starting to get through to him.

He doubted even he'd seen all the changes in Tony yet. It took him a while to adapt to Tony post Afghanistan, he'd been quicker of the mark this time around however. Less expecting him to revert to form. More able to be present. Less angry. Looking back at how he'd reacted he was angry at himself. He'd been such an idiot to think he'd taken the suit without Tony's blessing. Sure, it was just a coincidence that it was made for his height and build, that the HUD was tailored for him, that the power source was in the armour. That the security was down. The whole thing had been a set up, he doubted he'd even been drunk, but he had been under the influence of severe heavy metal poisoning. He liked to think he'd grown since then, become a better friend, a better brother, both of them had. There were to many memories of him failing Tony to not be careful now, he still had nightmares of Thor's hands around his breakable human neck as he'd just fucking stood there.

"Oh no, nothing from him since that insult of a phone."

Tony jars Rhodey from his thoughts, confusing him slightly.. Tilting his head..

"So who else is sending you… Wait. Tell me you are not getting fan mail from freaking Bucky Barnes?!"

"No, no -"

"Praise be the God's -"

"He apparently hates being called Bucky, and he sent a thank you slash apology, not fan mail."

As if that clears things up?!

"Wait. I'm so lost in this conversation. What is ' Barnes ' thanking you for? The last interaction you two had he tried to tear out your arc reactor and you blasted his arm off! I know his brain is mulch, but those actions are not the kind to produce thank you letters.. "

"Ah, urm, no, it was for helping with the trigger words and his memories."

Tony says this blandly, as if this was a normal Sunday occurrence.

Rhodey just blankly stares at Tony for a solid minute where Tony apparently suddenly realises what he's done and his face shifts several times before landing in 'Oh crap'.

Rhodey just glares and raises an eyebrow.

"Um.. Oops?"

Tony makes to flee and gets all of 3 steps before Rhodey yells at him.

"Tony, you get your ass back in here for me to yell at you! Or you damned well better help me into the chair to chase you!"

Tony backtracks slowly and tried to look as innocent as possible. He knows that Tony will see option 1 is best. Option 2 would end up in Rhodey accidentally running over his feet. Several times. Rhodey was still sat on the floor so he moved himself to be leaning against the armchair, eyebrow raised in accusation. Hands folded calmly in his lap as Tony looks like a contrite school kid who realised he just fucked up.

"Well, before you yell. I felt bad for blowing the guys arm off! And I thought, hey, I bet BARF could be used to nix those Murder words in his brain! So-"

Rhodey mouthed 'Murder words' whilst looking utterly unimpressed, still keeping an eyebrow raised to show Tony that he is not amused like the queen of The sodding United Kingdom.

"Um, so, I got BARF, sent it over, and it's helping! We're still working on it though, his brain is really complicated."

Still working on it?! With who? Sent where?!

"But now I'm getting snail mail. Am I being punished for doing a good deed? I don't think this is how it's meant to be."

He considers grabbing the nearest cushion to scream into before deciding to lob it at Tony's head instead.

"Tony. Tony… Tones, my brother, Tell me, please tell me, that you do not know where the international fugitives and the ghost assassin, who just so happened to have killed your parents, are hiding out? You know, the ones we are meant to arrest on sight?"

"Okay. I don't know where they are?"

Rhodey immediately starts lobbing pillows at him and scowls as Tony mutters about his inability to keep secret plans, secret. Tony eventually dives behind one of the sofas to dodge the projectiles.

"Hey, hey Rhodey, did you see the decals that Harley made for my arm… Look, they're silver and look like circuits. I kind of have a tattoo! He did it because Peter had to take the prototype back! So until he gives it back I can't talk properly in public, but look at his additions!"

He had noticed last night that his hand looked different but hadn't had a chance to ask about it and his long sleeves had obscured it. Peter was seeing Dr Cho in person on the last day of their road trip so he'd taken the prototype with him. Tony also brought up Peters latest schematic on the TV whilst holding his arm out for Rhodey to see as distraction techniques.

Harley had even continued the circuit like design onto his skin from what he could see. With a black sharpie. At least that's what it looked like, so the design continued up to his elbow from the middle of his forearm, covering some of the scars that he knew Tony hated looking at. It would be a nightmare to get off that was for sure, but it was the kids so knowing Tony he wouldn't try that hard. That Tony did all this whilst hiding behind the sofa was quite a feat. He was impressed with him actually, for not falling over and face planting the floor.

Rhodey squinted at the arm thrust in his direction to get a better look, then to the TV and back a few times, admitting, only in his head, that the matte black arm did look much better with the oddly tasteful silver designs the kid had put on it.

That Tony was wearing a t-shirt again was amazing in itself and he decided this conversation makes so little sense that he only just realised something. Tony had been hiding the metal hand less, but the joint where metal became skin? He hadn't seen Tony expose that willingly or intentionally since he had the hand installed. Even around the house.

Opening his mouth and closing it 3 times before coming out with a question, in a tone of utter exasperation, that even threw Tony for a few seconds.

"What does your cybernetic hand have to talking in public?!"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk with my hand in my pocket!?"

"Wait. What?"

Tony bounces up, with more exuberance than a man his age ought not to have, and paced back and forth, gesticulating with his flesh hand, much more than he usually does, his other now shoved in his pocket. To prove his point. Also likely that he was tentatively testing to see if he could leave the cover of the sofa without having to dodge more Rhodey fired projectiles. Only to get a cushion to the face, Rhodey was not going to let that opening go. Tony shook his head and returned to his pacing.

"Look! I'm lopsided. I'm going to start going in circles or something!"

Which, of course, he started doing, and grinned at the losing battle Rhodey was entrenched in, desperately trying to not laugh and maybe aiming to get Tony back on topic.

In Rhodey's defence, watching Tones grinning like a loon, leaning to one side and going in circles was something that made his heart clench, but it was a nice ache. He hadn't seen his friend smile this much in years, and it was real . Even after yesterday, he was still able to be this. In the past, before he stopped drinking, he'd have drank enough to make his liver scream and vanish, black out the lab for several days. Barely eat. Barely function. Go back further and it would have been a lot of drugs and several parties. Anything to either not feel, or feel. It was the kind of improvement he hadn't honestly thought to hope for.

His skin had lost that sallow look, there were no bags under his eyes, he was moving freely, with no pain. He was as energetic as the scrawny pain in the ass, the utter failure at basic human tasks, 14 year old he had discovered he was roommates with in college. Sure, there were differences, but that smile. It was almost worth forgetting this whole Barnes debacle.

Almost.

"Give me the damned letter and you will tell me everything."

Tony huffed, sulking slightly before plonking himself down on the floor next to him and fishing a folded letter out of his pocket and handed it to him.

"Wakanda."

"What now?"

"That's where they are. Have been the whole time."

"... That's why you were mad at T'Challa? And the whole time? You've known since you woke up haven't you? Of course you have."

"Pretty much, but we're good now. They're driving him up the wall. You can't tell anyone, the Wakandans don't deserve it until I work something out, select people on the council know. He's keeping them contained, they know if they leave he won't let them back, so it's best they stay there for now. "

Tony had obviously put a lot of thought into this, and whilst he understood his line of thinking, he was still mad.

"And I worked it out when I'd been awake for 40 minutes. Only took that long because I was distracted by having the Internet in my brain."

Yeah, he was definitely still mad.

He wanted to throw the ungrateful wretches in jail...

And that right there is probably why Tony hadn't told him.

He rolled his eyes, mostly at himself for not realising that Tony would obviously know where they are. He always managed to find Bruce in a scarily short time, and that was before he was carrying his tech and Bruce knew how to disappear. He doubted any of The Avengers ditched their gear. Or even thought to. Without Natasha they were pretty useless at that, Clint had had different skill sets, Natasha had been the one that knew how to vanish.

He shook his head and focused on the letter. It was written nicely he had to admit.

The brainwashed assassin had good penmanship. Who knew?

Dr Stark Shuri said she would get this letter to you for me, I recently discovered you are behind the treatment I have been receiving to remove the words and help with my memories and I wanted to send you a thank you. I've seen some of the algorithms(The notes were amusing!) and you've done a lot of work to help me, although I'm not sure why. I am however extremely thankful, it's helped with some of the nightmares already which was something I hadn't known to hope for. I know an apology won't fix much, for what I did, for your parents, for how you found out.. or what happened after. But I am sorry for the parts that I played, for fighting in Germany without even knowing why, I'm sorry for fighting in Siberia. I should have done more. I'm sorry I believed Steve, it seems he lied that you were fine and temporarily disabled. I know this won't change anything, and it's selfish of me, but I wanted to say I'm sorry. Me and Wings, Sam, have been doing some research -in a completely not stalkerish way- and he's been watching all the VA programs. I think he feels bad for how everything happened too. TicTac got in over his head, I think he's starting to realise that. I don't know if it helps any, but T'Challa is keeping Clint and Wanda pretty contained after Clint saw videos of Laura. So hopefully you and her don't have to worry about that. So, Thank You. Sincerely, James Buchanan Barnes (Not Bucky)

"Huh, well it is better than the one Rogers sent."

He flipped it over and saw a small but quite impressively detailed picture of a firebird, possibly a phoenix but the single word underneath it was in Cyrillic.

Феникс. (FeniksPhoenix)

The handwriting was different to the rest of Barnes letter as well. That was weird, and Cyrillic? He had no idea what it said. Before he could comment on it Tony took the letter back, apparently he hadn't noticed the little bird before and looked at it with more intensity that he thought was required. But then usually only kids sent Tony pictures and if Tony had a weakness it was someone putting effort into creating a thing for him.

"Huh.."

Tony hummed before folding the letter and slipping it back into his pocket. For someone so angry about receiving a letter, he folded it awfully careful and kept it on his person. That was.. Interesting . He narrowed his eyes at the letter through his pocket.

At the same time however, he could tell that Tony had absolutely no idea what to do about it. He was blinking and looking slightly baffled, his hand tapping the pocket the letter was tucked safely away in.

He had gotten quite a few thank you letters since they started up the new accessibility programs but this was different . It was a lot more personal for one.

"He's actually apologising. Really apologising. He put real effort into this. Why is he the one actually apologising to me when he doesn't even know me..? Yet St-Rogers.. He.."

Tony trailed off, looking confused and unsure, so he pulled him in for a hug. Tony put up no resistance and curled up against him.

"I know Tones. I don't get it either."

Tony POV

After he finished talking to Rhodey, he still had no idea what to do about the letter. The other one had been awful, so it was easy to chuck it in a drawer and never look back. He had reread it a few times in those early days.. But he hadn't thought about it for ages now.

He wondered if he was angry at Barnes for putting effort in or Rogers for not?

And what was with the little drawing of the phoenix? And the Cyrillic? The rest of the letter was in English with a dramatically different handwriting that he couldn't fob off as it being a different language. Maybe it was someone else who added it? But who? Or maybe Barnes had different handwriting when he switched languages. Had he meant to send him the drawing? Why was he apparently so obsessed with it?

Or maybe he was just confused by everything. Either way the letter was uncomfortable and it hadn't gotten better on subsequent readings. It also struck him that Barnes noted a potential problem, and took the time to tell him he should be OK?

Why?

Yeah, sure he sent the glasses but that wasn't really much and how the damned hell had he even found out that the glasses were his? The last time he'd spoken to Shuri about the increased information she hadn't mentioned this.

This also wasn't the reaction he had expected when it came to Barnes finding out about the glasses. L

Maybe he could ask the annoying Therapist that Carol had gotten for him, maybe she could understand Barnes brain. He definitely didn't. (He'd agreed to give them a try, with his ability he should be able to tell if they'll sell the information.) Maybe they'd have a clue why Barnes was sending him thanks that he had no idea how to react to, apologies that confused him and was being nice when the man should hate him? And tiny pictures. He was really caught up on that.

He'd expected screaming. World ending, apocalypse style anger landing on T'Challa and Shuri from the rogues. They hadn't mentioned anything of it the ordinary. Which either meant they weren't telling him something, or, the utterly implausible option, Barnes hadn't run and told his buddy.

Entering his lab he hopped straight onto his stool and rolled over to give Shuri a call. He slid on the pair of sunglasses that he'd started hanging next to the screen he commonly used for calls, to ensure that he never forgot to wear them.

FRIDAY popped up after he started calling.

"Boss, I thought you should know that certain senators are using the Widows par-"

"I'll get to that later Fry"

He shot one of the cameras a smile and a brush of code in apology when Shuri popped up, looking slightly haggard which cemented it in his head.

"Shuri, guess what I received today?"

"What?"

She really didn't look amused, so something had been exhausting her and he had an idea it was a 'who'. He waved the letter at her, she just rolled her eyes at him.

"Um, he found it out himself, a pink sticker is not exactly much of a barrier, he was really ridiculous about it and he really wanted to thank you."

Dammit. He was sure he'd put a black sticker on it, he didn't even know he had pink stickers.. Stupid sunglasses, everything looked dark when he was wearing them.

"Mmmhmm how much of a problem is Roger's being about it?"

Confusion flashed across her face, her head tilting. Which just confused him more.

"Huh? Tony, I've been awake for 2 days working on these stupid shoes again because my idiot brother walks like an elephant! So I am slow. I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Barnes, I'm guessing he told Rogers about my input? I'm surprised he's still going with it."

"What? No, he hasn't told anyone about it. He loves the glasses, he's also given you permission for access to level 4 data."

What?!

Whilst that would be immensely handy.

What?!

"This conversation is not making me less confused about this letter."

"It's quite simple really. You're both idiots and I'm going to bed."

The call cut and Tony couldn't help but laugh, even if he was still confused. Dammit he hadn't been able to question the little bird that was really stuck in his mind. He slipped the letter into the drawer at his station in the workshop and decided to stress over it later. Then he stepped back and slipped it into his pocket instead.

He snagged one of Peter's Web shooters and decided to tinker with it instead and stop thinking of confusing letters and what he was going to do with it, keeping an eye in his mind on the huge data packets now transferring from Shuri. The pieces for Rhodey's bracers were being fabricated and he could work on them later, work was good, work was less confusing. He was making both designs for him, the outside set and the subdermal implants. The latter set would take longer and likely more PT for Rhodey, but he wanted the man to have options.

He felt the door to the workshop open, even though it was silent and at the far end of the workshop, behind him too, but out of everywhere in the compound, the workshop was one of the most connected places to his abilities baring the apartment. His mind flicked to the cameras in and around the workshop. Showing that Natka was looking for him, and coming in behind him. Distraction. Perfect. Usually she did that trying to be sneaky, to get the drop on him, he'd been having fun confusing her lately by always knowing where she was. Before Siberia she'd always snuck up on him, scaring the crap out of him and giving him a minor heart attack. He'd always seen it as kind of malicious before, now he could see it as her way of training him in the only way she knew how. Because she was worried that his lack of training would get him killed someday.

Considering her upbringing, it was kind of cute, in a murderous assassin way.

This time he didn't even bother turning around.

"Hi Natka."

He smiled to himself as he saw her freeze on camera. He'd been doing things like that to see if she'd notice since she got back, but so far she'd been a bit distracted. Having a singular location and deciding to stay was having quite a profound effect on her and she was swinging from happy to alarmed quite often. He put the web shooter down and spun to face her, happy he'd left the sunglasses on, slipping his left hand under his top.

"You have gotten very good at that."

"Practice and all that, now, what can I do you for?"

She leaned against a desk near him and he took a second to assess her colours. Out of all the adults around him undergoing changing, hers was possibly the most distinct. Or maybe just small changes showed up more because of how her colours were. Her colours were pale. He read it as almost.. sickly. With misuse and plain non-use, they were fading . He'd never seen colours so pale in anyone else. There was some that had faded to a pale grey that even had breaks in it, with frayed edges like it had been worn away. It practically shrieked at him that something was wrong , when he'd first seen it he'd wanted away, but another part and slammed into him, hard, to help.

Maybe he'd just been so tired of failing people in that moment, so tired of everything running away from him, slipping through his fingers like sand. That he wanted to grab hold of one thing. That he wanted to truly help at least one person. The need to help drowned out the bone deep aversion. But he was also so tired. He didn't turn and flee like the first instinct demanded, but he didn't move forward either, he'd sort of hovered there, looking deeper without intending to.

The only reason she hadn't overwhelmed him at the hospital, like meeting new people generally did back then, was that there was so little colour to overwhelm him with.

Then this shakey stripe of red whipped in and out that spoke of courage. Lightning fast, blink and you could miss it. It was pale at the edges but the middle was so vibrant , especially compared to the rest, that he'd decided to listen.

He'd gone deeper into her colours, discovered that she wanted the one thing she'd practically assured she'd never get.

She knew that but still she craved it.

Even as she'd carried on repeating the same patterns that basically ensured her failure to acquire it in a self destructive pattern.

Even though she craved it. She was terrified of getting it and failing .

So he'd taken the leap, he knew that Rhodey wouldn't be happy after Germany, but he could see her worldview had been tipped upside down, her moral compass had proved himself just like everyone else and she was left untethered.

Seeing that she had more tentative colours in amongst the pale told him he'd made the right call to trust her.

"Tony.. I've been meaning to ask you this for a while. Why did you bring me in? You could of had me sent to the raft, or just not let me back here…"

He scratched his beard, thinking how to go with this. Instead he did the annoying thing. The 'answer a question with a question' thing.

"Did choosing to stay make that much of a difference? You'd been here for years already"

He already knows, he can See it clear as day and has watched it slowly change her colours. But he wants to hear it from her. Plus there is that itch in his mind that he gets sometimes when he reads people's colours.

"It does, I took every mission that required travel back then, I was always half packed and ready to leave.."

"One foot out the door?"

"Yes."

"Did that make the things you did easier?"

Her face stays the same but her colours don't, that practically flinch and he feels bad for asking, but it's getting to a point.

"It's the only way I could, the only way my life had been."

"Like Germany."

She nods grimacing slightly.

"That wasn't it though was it? Not completely."

Her head tilts looking slightly confused and the same confusion fluctuated around her that he wondered if she'd even realised.

"You followed him because he was the pinnacle, the best thing the serum ever created, am I right?"

She still looks confused but her colours panic a little but he has to do this so she doesn't switch to him, or someone else.

"Natka, just because your serum is different , doesn't mean it's wrong , it doesn't mean that you are wrong .."

"How did yo-"

"It doesn't mean you're corrupted, or lesser, or even untrustworthy. You aren't broken and he is not perfect . You made him your guide, your moral compass for all the wrong reasons, it… it blinded you to facts about him.. To his deterioration after DC, it wasn't just you, I didn't realise it 'till I had all the time in Siberia to just think ."

Her colours are practically all over the place so he walks over to her and squeezes her shoulder with his right hand and watches them settle slightly.

"I can't be either. You tethered yourself to the Red Room, to Clint, then Rogers but now you can stand alone. But I'll be here to help you.

"Tell me. What's it like, not having that bag packed, that door open?"

"Terrifying."

She gives him a weak smile and he pulls her in for a hug because he did just dump a lot on her. He knew he needed to have this conversation however the last few times he'd checked on her colours more in depth and realised she was looking to him in her decisions. Whilst he didn't mind advising or potentially making field decisions, he was happy to help her but he wasn't going to become her moral compass like Roger's had let himself become. True, he was cheating and getting to See, but it had been pretty obvious Nat had flipped to Rogers when Clint retired.

She was giving him a strange look, which was the usual one he got after he came out with something kind of weird

"Anyway. That's why I helped you. You want to change, I can See it."

"But how ?"

He scratched his beard before figuring she'd have to find out at some point and that he'd know by know if she was just here for the others, so he slipped off his sunglasses using his left hand, the hand immediately caught her eye, confusion flashed around her again, with a bit of alarm when she saw his eye. He was happy to see if was alarm and concern 'for' him rather than 'of' him.

"This is why you've been wearing sunglasses since I saw you at the hospital."

He nodded. Nat was the only other person who knew how long he'd lain in that bunker.

"I did find it strange that you were up and about so fast, even with your track record, Extremis?"

"Yup, it went a bit strange with my eye though, so when I say I See that you wanted change Natka, I mean I can actually see it around you."

He'd expected someone like Nat who uses masks as much, sometimes more, than him, would hate the idea of that.

For some reason though, she looked relieved .

Even her colours fluttered with it.