A/N: I'm not going to entail into many details as to what entails in Crait, but I will mention things that I consider relevant for upcoming stories. Thanks for keeping up with my story guys. Also I don't want this to seem like I am hating on anyone in specific, like I said, I am treating every character as an individual that moves the plot in its own way, also there are some things here based on the leaked original script of TROS. Anyways, enjoy guys! ^^
BTW, this is the last chap of this fic.
~0~
Kylo's heart was beating fast, he wondered if he had managed to strike down his uncle, if he had found that darkness inside himself to do as he did his father. The moment he stroke the man, he knew he had lost, not only because he had not heeded his uncle's advice not to strike him down, but also because the man was not even there at all. He turned again to face Luke, the man holding a smile on his face that reflected a mixture of pity and remorse but no malice. He bowed his head at Ren, I've seen into your heart kid. Kylo felt a surge of rage go through him at that. Placing his hands across from him, and with a side smile Luke once again bowed his head.
"See you around kid" and with a gesture from his hand, Luke closed his eyes and returned to wherever his body was. Force projection… Bewildered at his own actions, and how he reacted to it all, he stood in silence for a few seconds before realization struck him. Kylo immediately realized what had transpired here. He looked towards the Fortress and dashed to the blown up doors, Trooper close on his steps. He didn't have to look to know that everyone was gone, but there was something else he got, his mother was alive, Rey was gone and so was the Resistance survivors along with hope. Hux had ordered the Troops to scout the area for survivors and rebels. Ren walked inside the abandoned control chamber, where his mother's presence lingered and saw that inside, on the floor lay a very familiar item that belonged to the memories of his childhood. He knelt down and picked it up, the golden chain threading a pair of dice dangling from his hand. He felt the need to weep, not in frustration or anger but rather of loneliness, tiredness and disappointment. He thought about the first time he and Rey had been connected by the Force. You're not doing this, the effort alone would kill you, no, this is something else… His uncle had done something resembling that; he had done the seemingly impossible. He looked down at his hands, the dice now beginning to fade away, losing matter, losing weight and finally disappearing just as Luke had. He felt a small urge to cry, like something inside him snap, something strongly rippled The Force, made it cringe and something that resembled grief. Luke was gone, and slowly a soft sense of warmth began to dissipate as well, a warmth that reminded Kylo of the sunny afternoons in Ach-To where he and his uncle would fish together, share meals and stories. He was but a child then, unaware of the things lurking in the darkness, the lullabies of ancient voices beckoning him. His thoughts were interrupted and his drifting mind returned to him when he felt the familiar buzz of the Force that signaled Rey's presence. And there she was, looking over her shoulder, probably at someone who had passed by her, it was not long before their eyes met, the intensity scorching both their spirits. Her eyes held nothing but contempt and something that could have easily passed as indifference. He bit his tongue and tried to reciprocate the look, the attitude, only to be met by her breaking the connection between them. Kylo felt truly alone, more so than he ever had, chewing on his rejected feelings, his shattered heart.
8 months later
It was always the loneliness that made her crave his presence. She closed her eyes as she breathed in deeply, focusing her mind in the faint voices she could hear inside the Force. You're not alone, The balance must be restored, You're not alone, Look within yourself… She felt her head spin, a rubber band being pulled from her frontal lobe to the back. She pulled herself away from the voices and the heaviness of the seeming eternity that was traveling within the Force. NO! She felt as if someone had screamed in her ear. She covered them both and squatted for a moment.
"Ben?" she whispered the name. It had been months since she had seen him, felt him or even thought about him. Her heart accelerated in her chest and she was suddenly back to feeling vulnerable. This was not what she had been training for; this was not what she had spent these long months on. She frowned and sat cross-legged on the floor, trying to levitate her body off ground once more. Closing her eyes again she repeated her breathing exercises. Nothing came back. No more of the voices, no more concentration. She fought the urge to look for him in the Force, but was ultimately defeated by the need to know. She found Kylo's messy mind, a blur of thoughts and feelings that overwhelmed her as soon as she found him. Ben… She tried to enter his mind, to see what was the source of anxiety but found herself being thrown back into her body by a barrier. Rey lay in the floor unable to move, her limbs numb and her heart beating fast inside her chest. She heard BB-8 rolling closer and beep in concern at her. She moved her eyes to gaze at him and smiled.
"I'm okay, just a bit of Force overdose I guess" her toes began recovering sensation, followed by her legs and thighs. When she felt like she could move, she sat down and rubbed her temples. BB-8 beeped insistently, growing anxious about her not moving.
"I'm okay I promise, I guess I overdid it a little playing around with my mind" she got up slowly and stretched her back. She made her way to where she had left her hip pouch and saber and headed back to the camp followed by the still worried BB-8.
~0~
He huffed, his arms ached, his legs were on fire, he needed to move more, he needed more motion, he needed a way to make the swiveling emotions inside him fade away with the pain and tiredness of his crusade. He stopped, because there was nothing more he could slash, there was nothing more he could eradicate, there was no life beating around but that of the trees and the burning nature around. He screamed from the depths of his gut, a guttural sound that came from his lungs, from his entrails. His eyes had teared up and had begun cascading down his face, creating a path the pale color of his skin, contrasting with the soot, the blood and the dirt. He dragged his heavy feet to the green lake, his saber still buzzing savagely, dragging across the ground and leaving behind a burnt trait. Kylo felt the weight of his entire body almost overpower his senses, heavy and almost unable to move.
"COME OUT!" he screamed at the lake, using the bits of energy from inside him to point his buzzing red saber at the lake. No sound came. The longer he stood there in silence, the heavier the burden of his actions sat above his shoulders. He wanted to cry, he wanted to feel the love of his mother, have his father look at him the way he had back on Star Killer base, with nothing but love. His shoulders caved in, and retrieving his saber, Kylo fell on his knees, feeling like a child once again, and feeling like the lost little boy looking for his place in the universe. This time there were no voices grooming him into darkness, no voices trying to lure him into the light, just silence, the crackle of fire destroying matter, the sounds of a dying nature screaming. The waters before him began to ripple, a loud rumble coming from the murky waters. Kylo tried to get up, but found himself unable to, feeling foreign to his own body. The mighty Kylo Ren on his knees. The voice was inside his head. He looked around, pinning his eyes to the upcoming growing shadow rising from the depths of the lake. From the waters, a yellow creature began to emerge, its limbs long and its features like those of creatures who live underwater. Its mouth was not moving, so it was speaking with its mind. Kylo struggled for control; he needed to be able to move, to be ready for battle, for extortion and manipulation. He needed answers from the creature, and he would go through any means to get it. His body felt sluggish, and as he drew his saber and ignited it once again, he managed to point it at the creature.
"Give me what I came from Oracle" Kylo's tongue was heavy, sedated by the tiredness of his body. The creature remained still and in silence. You don't need to use violence Kylo Ren. Seeing you humbled and on your knees give me reason enough to deem you worthy of words. Now tell me master or the Knights of Ren… Is the name bearing heavy burden on your shoulders? Kylo snarled, showing his teeth and struggling with the heaviness of the saber. Where is he!? The creature remained silent, studying him, the exhaustion evident in every move the young man made. There are other things more important at hand here young Solo. Kylo flinched and lowered his saber to his side at the mention of his name coming from this creature. What!? He would not let his guard down, speaking with hostile energy, trying to remain menacing. Don't you want to know about your parent's future, the First Order, the Rebels. The creature sounded monotone, although his words stung deep. Rey. At the mention of her name, Kylo was able to draw more energy to lift his saber back up.
"TELL ME!" he managed to scream the words. Indifferent the creature proceeded to reveal itself further, a larger, greener monster showing its fangs. A fear beyond comprehension took over Kylo's mind and made his lizard brain kick into gear, he tried to swing with his saber but was unable to strike the creature because something out of his control, something coming from the Force stopped him. Listen. It sounded like his mother's voice, but at the same time it was his father, or maybe Luke's. Young Solo, what awaits you ahead is nothing but pain and struggle, suffering, darkness and remorse. Kylo felt his stomach drop. Your feelings for the girl are driving you into the right path, but you keep struggling. You have to stop, you have to stop letting your rage command you, control it, or prepare to be the master of your own demise. The thought of Rey's broken-hearted expression passed through his mind, weakening him, making him vulnerable. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to fight the warmness of her existence in his life. Don't fight it. He opened his eyes again, the creature standing still in the water, indifferent to his churning emotions. He stopped everything, his mind, and his thoughts and allowed his entire self-fill with the warmth of Rey. Now, young Solo, open your mind. And soon Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, was over flooded with images, words, emotions, visions and the sense of losing your sanity in just the snap of a finger.
Kylo sat on his Fighter in silence, his mind racing with thoughts about the upcoming future, about a secret fleet, about the death of his comrades, his mother, his father and finally Rey. He tried hard not to punch the control panel of his ship, holding the rage and anxiety as best as he could. He had sensed Rey, earlier, he had managed to keep her out of his mind, but emotional effort of having done that drained him almost entirely. He needed the energy to face his new journey; he needed to move, because the stillness was driving him insane. But where would he go? What would he do? He looked at the shining rock he had acquired on the dead planet and made up his mind, because the last thing the oracle had shown him made his world crumble right before him. Punching into gear, Kylo Ren set away to the unknown regions, ready to improvise; ready for anything that would come his way. The last image on his mind one that filled him with panic and a deep fear that resembled insanity.
~0~
Rey reached the camp and searched for Finn with her eyes. In seconds she was spotted by Rose, who was heading her way with a map on her hands, her face buried in it. Rey sighed and felt a little disappointed at not seeing the small girl with her friend glued to her side as usual.
"Rey, I think General Organa is looking for you. Have you seen Finn?" she did not move her eyes from the map and only looked at Rey at the mention of Finn. Rey shrugged her shoulders.
"Not really. I just got back from training" her eyes kept scanning the area. She decided to take her scanning a little deeper and proceed further to search with her mind. No Finn. She raised her eyebrows and made a face that made Rose wonder if Rey was a little nut.
"Well, General Organa is looking for you. If you happen to come across Finn before I do, please let him know that I need him in the lab." The petit woman walked away in a huff and Rey was left wondering just where in the world could Finn have gotten himself into. She decided to see Leia and maybe tell her about what she had experienced when she was alone in the forest. Just before she reached the General's tent the pilot, Poe, stopped in front of her.
"Rey, can we talk for a moment?" why was everyone so interested in talking to her? She made eye contact with him, staring some moments and realizing she had not said anything back to him. She grinned a silly grin.
"I'm sorry I'm spacing out a bit today… But yeah yeah sure" she sensed something unusual from the pilot but discarded it as a possible after effect of the Force overdose, she had just gone through. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away from the tent, to a corner next to it. Rey had the urge to move her arm away from the pilot's hand, but resisted it because she did not sense any threat coming from him. He released her and scoped the area with his eyes for priers.
"I'm sorry this may seem so sudden. Rey, General Organa is not doing so well, and I can't really begin to understand your Force shenanigans, but I know that it has to do a great deal with that and her…. Family" he lowered his voice and dragged the last word as if he was lying when he said it. Rey raised an eyebrow at this and wondered if Leia had felt the same thing she has lately, a pulse in the Force, something uneasy, something not right that threatened the balance even more. Poe was silent for a moment, seemingly struggling to find the right words to relay whatever message he had for Rey. She placed her hand on his shoulders and breathed deeply and proceeded to dig into his mind. She discarded the things from his past, the memories, the emotions and finally was able to pinpoint the place where Leia lay on his mind. Poe had eavesdropped on a conversation Leia was having with C3PO and another person he could not really understand. She spoke about an upcoming journey, something about Luke's last intentions and words to her, and finally about Ben. Rey removed her hands from Poe's shoulders quickly, as if there was fire on them. Her eyes widened and she began breathing hard. Poe looked at her worried and before he could do anything Rey was rushing to the General's tent. When she pulled the curtain aside, she caught Leia struggling to get up, her complexion pale and her eyes tired. Rey's stomach dropped and her heart ached. She moved closer to Leia, her strides short and slow, afraid of what she would see the closer she got.
"Rey" her voice was hoarse and low. She moved faster now, wanting to touch her, wanting to pass on some of her own energy.
"General Organa" she reached her and held her outstretched hand, helping her up and waiting for her to straighten her body. Rey closed her eyes and tried to give her some life, but Leia placed a hand over hers.
"Don't dear. I'll be fine. I just need to speak to you about my son" the expression on her face broke Rey's heart. She nodded and allowed the older woman to put her arm around hers as they both began walking.
"Rey, I don't know my son's face… And I feel like a long time ago I lost him, not to the darkness, not to Snoke or the firs order but from my grasp as his mother." Her tone was stern but sad, and Rey understood that after all this time and everything Ben has done under the name of Kylo Ren, Leia never stopped loving him, thinking about him, missing him. She stopped and unloosed her arm from Leia's hand and stood facing her.
"Let me show you" Rey placed her warm hands on Leia's face, closing her eyes and breathing a deep breath, releasing her initial memory of Ren's face. Leia gasped, her eyes teared immediately and she moved her hand to her chest. She could see the image of Ben in Rey's mind; he could see his pale face and long black hair, those kind eyes looking at Rey with curiosity, his crooked nose making him like he was always making a snarky facial expression. Leia sobbed softly as Rey tried to keep the image still in her mind, trying not to be overwhelmed by her own feelings and then Leia moved her hand to Rey's face.
"Don't be afraid young Rey, I'm not some brittle old woman" she put a little pressure on her face and Rey's mind lost control. Images of her and Ben's Force connection leaked, the pleading look in those eyes back on Star Killer base and their first match, him staring at her with curiosity on their first Force bond connection, the way his eyes looked at her never changed, his intensity, everything raw and real. Leia smiled and let go of Rey who had begun crying.
"Thank you so much for this Rey" she hugged Rey tightly, allowing her shoulders to slump in what seemed like a long time held burden above them. Rey held the woman back, feeling tired herself and completely exposed. From a small distance, Poe saw the two women, heard their small exchange of words and felt his heart hurt for the General, felt his own sense of fear and anger at his own memory of the man. Closing his hands into tight fists, Poe, recalled the way Kylo Ren had entered his mind to get the information he had stored in BB8 way before any of them had even met Rey. He had no mercy for the man, and even if it hurt his dearest Leia, Poe had his own agenda with The Master of the Knights of Ren. Sensing a wave of rage and hostility, Rey turned to look in Poe's direction, the man quiet and stating at them in silence. Leia released her and looked at Poe herself.
"What are you doing standing quietly there Poe?" she sounded irritated, but firm. Rey liked that about her. Leia had wiped her face and made her way to the Pilot. Something was brewing in the Force, something big was happening and Rey had gut wrenching feeling that things soon would turn sour. She looked at the scar on her right arm, one she bore as a memento of her Throne room match with Ben vs the Praetorian guards. She almost felt it sting, and could not help but wonder what had Ben been up to, why she had not been connected to him via de Force for this time. Rey… I'm coming for you. She looked around and saw no one. She felt a shiver run down her spine and simply hoped that this was just her having a bad day. She looked at Leia, and for a brief second, they shared a knowing look, and with no more words, they headed towards the rest of the Rebels.
~0~
Well guys here I conclude this fic, after two crazy years and a long pause between it all. I am planning on writing a second part to this, something based on the events on TROS. Am waiting for the novelization to come out, so please bear with me while it gets released and I get to read it. Anyway guys, feel free to make suggestions about other fics or pairings you're curious about. I had a lot of fun writing this and I am so grateful that you followed through the end with me. Thanks and see you soon!