Clara stared at the man standing next to her, allowing him time to just leave him with his thoughts. She wasn't sure how to describe his mood at the moment. Sombre. That was probably as close as she could get.
Memories spent in the home then flooded his mind. From his 7th birthday celebration to spending time alone on most days while both his parents were on-call at the hospital. One of his fondest memories was of his grandfather filling a kiddie pool he bought with water while he impatiently waited to get in.
After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. "Everything looks almost the same except for that extension there," he said, nodding to the new addition.
She stepped closer to him. "Do you miss this place?" she asked quietly.
John thought of the question carefully, asking himself the same thing. Yes, his life wasn't all gloom and missed birthday celebrations, but it was mostly just those things. His mother and father provided him with everything a child needed except love. He wasn't complaining, but they weren't exactly the best parents in the world, especially after their divorce. "Sometimes, and I only have a few fond memories – not much to hold on to."
"What are they, then?" Clara queried, curious as to what his answer will be.
The Doctor smiled. "Grandad and nan got me a kiddie pool and I immediately took it outside," he explained. "They came to visit one summer evening to babysit me."
The fairy godmother couldn't help but curve her lips as she heard the story. "Sounds like you had a lot of fun."
John looked down at the pavement, flashing his teeth. "They were the best babysitters in the whole universe."
Clara knew that her next question would be a tough one, but as they say, no pain, no gain. "What about your parents, where were they?"
His smile dropped. "On-call at their respective hospitals," he explained. "Always tending their patients and never spending much time with their son."
"I understood why since I was a doctor myself, but to an eight-year-old, it was devastating," he continued, voice breaking. "It was always nan or grandad who picked me up from school and it was they who tried to make my birthday feel special."
The Impossible Girl gently grabbed John's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He gripped her hand in response.
All the things he wanted to say to his parents. All the emotions he bottled up were slowly dissipating. He hadn't told anyone about his past. Not a single soul until now.
He sighed, shoulders slumped. "It got even worse when my mam discovered that my father was having an affair with a colleague."
Clara had read about this information from his file and wondered why a fairy godparent hadn't been assigned to him sooner. Maybe it was because he had his grandparents at the time. She remained silent, only caressing the back of his hand with her thumb reassuringly.
"It was the reason I only stayed here until I was fifteen."
His parents had always made him wonder why they got married in the first place. Maybe they loved each other at the beginning before their feelings faded away.
"You're not still angry at them, are you?"
Yes? No? Bit of both? His teenage self would have said yes. Now that's he's much older, he wasn't sure. All he wanted to know was where it all went wrong.
He had every right to be. John barely saw his parents and even if he did, it was during late at night when they return home, too exhausted to entertain their son.
"You need to learn to forgive them."
Her words tore him out of his thoughts. "I know," he answered quietly.
"They may not have given you all the attention you deserve but trust me when I say that they wished they could have done things differently."
"Where did you even get-"
"Fairy intel," she replied. "That's all I'm telling."
He thought just as much that she might have used her magic to travel back in time or something. Could fairies time travel? A question for another day.
She decided that they had had enough time reminiscing his childhood. Baby steps. "I think that's enough brooding for one day."
He lifted an eyebrow. "Whose idea was it to take me here?" he retorted as they began walking, hands still linked.
"Definitely not mine," she answered playfully.
The Doctor looked over his shoulder and took a final glance at his childhood home. After about fifteen minutes of walking, he began to guess where Clara was taking him next. It was the only logical next step and not to mention that he was still familiar with the route.
The last time he was in his grandparent's home was when he was twenty—four. His mother, nan and him were the sole occupants of the house after the passing of his grandad a few years prior to his departure from Glasgow. He first moved in when he was a teenager, shortly after his parents separated.
The house, unsurprisingly, looks the same structurally.
"You were happier here, weren't you?"
He nodded in agreement. "Mam was busy as always and only phoned me every time she couldn't get home on time," he explained. "But I had my grandparents."
"It must have been tough while your parents were going through the divorce," Clara commented sympathetically.
"It made me wonder how nan and granddad got along so well while mam and dad couldn't even stand each other," he said, looking up into the gloomy skies. "I supposed my grandparents were two of a kind."
"Communication," she revealed. "It was all about talking and being honest with one another."
"That's what your parents lacked," the fairy godmother continued. "And that's what you lack, too."
John silently agreed with her statement.
"You were making the same mistakes your parents did."
She knew that there was one more reason and tried to get him to admit it.
"I was also afraid," he finally admitted. "I was afraid of turning into them."
He was terrified of falling in love and eventually repeating the same mistakes his parents did, ruining something that took years to build. It was such a scary thought.
Then there's the question of love. To him, he wasn't sure what it truly meant. He knew it was more than just being attracted to someone, but what is it? The feeling of never wanting to let go? Security? Happiness? Soul mate?
John remembered a time when he had asked his grandfather about what it means to love someone and he merely smiled, telling him that it was different for everybody and that he would eventually understand what it means to him.
Several decades later, and he still hasn't found the answer.
"There's just one thing I don't quite understand," Clara murmured, and he immediately looked at her. "Why did you become a doctor?"
The Doctor shrugged in response. "I wanted to prove them wrong, but I ended up proving myself wrong," he answered quietly. "But my father, for the first time, took an interest when he discovered I was studying medicine."
As she was about to ask him another question, he beat her to it, knowing exactly what she wanted to say. "I only lasted as a doctor for about ten years before deciding to quit and use the inheritance money to open a guitar shop since I wanted to become a rock star when I was a sixteen."
"I was actually going to ask about what your parents thought of it," the Impossible Girl revealed, finding it amusing that he was trying to guess her next question. "And you've definitely achieved your dream of becoming a so-called rock star with the plaid trousers at home."
He pouted at her teasing. So much for him guessing correctly. "Ah, well, surprisingly, they weren't mad… or happy – just neutral, I suppose."
As he began recalling the memory, a thought struck him. "Actually, I remember being surprised when I noticed that my mam looked relieved," he stated. "I thought I was just imagining it."
She beamed. If there was one thing he should know, it's his parents loved him. They just had difficulty showing it. "Would you like to know a secret?"
He stared at her with his eyebrows raised.
"Your mum and dad were actually relieved to hear that you were moving away from the medical profession."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing and blinked a few times, processing her words before coming to the conclusion that she might have received the wrong information. "That doesn't-"
"Fairy godmother, remember?"
"I'm still having a hard time believing you, fairy godmother."
Clara shrugged before she gently pulled his arm as they began walking the other direction, back to the bus stop. "It's entirely up to you if we want to believe me or not."
John was silent throughout the whole journey until they passed his childhood home. "What did you find out?"
She locked eyes with his. "They regret not showing you enough love, not giving you enough attention and not doing anything about it."
Before the Impossible Girl had the chance to say anything else, the bus arrived, and she decided to reserve her comments when they had a bit more privacy.
Unbeknownst to them, there were to figures sitting at the back of the bus. One hid her face with a magazine and the other wore sunglasses and had a rather peculiar looking moustache.
"Hand-holding," Jack discreetly said to Missy.
"Do I look like I'm blind to you?"
"This is a different level kind of hand-holding."
"I can see that," she said through gritted teeth, wanting nothing more than to hit his head with the magazine. "Now shut up before they see us."
Jack continued to spy on Clara and John as inconspicuously as he could and when they got up, he raised the newspaper a bit higher to hide his face.
"Am I the only one who felt a bit weird being on that bus?" the fairy godmother asked once they hopped out of the bus.
The Doctor looked behind him and stared at the public transportation. "What do you mean?"
She shook her head. "Must have been my imagination," she murmured before nodding to the café across the street. She had caught him eyeing the eatery the moment it was in sight and knew he was hungry. "I know how easily you get hangry."
"I don't get hangry," he stated defensively. "But I am a bit hungry," he admitted quietly as they cross the road.
Their physical contact came to an end when they were seated in a corner, both just realising that they had been holding each other's hands beforehand.
"You shouldn't let the past hold you back," she stated, after minutes of silence as they browse through the menu. "You can shape your future however you like it and at the end of the day, nothing else matters but by how you handle the present."
John knew that Clara meant more than just about finding a relationship. For the first time, he was, well, is glad to have met her. The only problem is that she's his fairy godmother. "Can I ask you something?"
She lowered the menu. "Yes?"
"Let's just say that I've found someone," he began, choosing his words carefully. "Will you know that immediately?"
She chuckled. "I'm not a psychic, daft old man."
"Right, so what happens if I tell you then?"
She eyed him, wondering if he was just asking out of curiosity of if he had found someone, not that she's aware of. "I was told to help you find your happy ending – they weren't exactly specific about it, but if I had to guess, my job is complete once your feelings are made clear and she feels the same way."
"Oh," he managed. Is that some sort of paradox, then, assuming Clara feels the same way, which is not the case, so it seems that they'll be together for a while, which he didn't mind, but their impending separation will surely break his heart.
For now, he would just enjoy things as they are.