Hikari cursed herself for being so forgetful, she was usually so on top of everything but why would today of all days would she forget the notes and homework she was supposed to take to Asuka. She speed walked through the halls running her hand through one of her ponytails, she quickly hopped up the stairs to the class taking in deep breaths trying to calm herself down.
At least the school wasn't locked up yet, but where were Rei and Nathan she wondered, they couldn't have been down already, could they?
It wasn't until she neared the homeroom did, she hear the sounds, the groans followed by soft cries of "Yes, just like that" and "I love you Rei" in between the wet, sloppy choking noises. Stopping dead in her tracks her gears began to turn, she tiptoed over to the door trying to stay as quiet as possible.
Peering just past the door she saw Rei on her knees in front of Nathan's waist gripping him firmly as her head bobbed in front of him, but then she noticed how loose his pants were around his waist and how his belt's ends hung limply from both of his sides. Her eyes went wide upon seeing the two locked in their secret act, then she saw him shudder and almost collapse into Rei who closed her eyes in enjoyment peeling her face away she saw the remains and dropped her bag.
Both of the pilots quickly turned their faces over to the noise aware that they had caught, one with his pants down literally. "Hikari?" Rei asked curiously.
"Hikari?!" Nathan shouted, pulling his pants up, facing away from the class rep who was now shielding her eyes, Rei handled the situation more calmly pulling out a hankie and beginning to clean her face while Nathan was slowly working his way into a conniption fit.
Muttering under his breath about how stupid he was, how he should have just waited and about how the two of them were now caught and there's no doubt he'd find out.
"Hikari what are you doing here?"
Hikari still had her eyes covered, she couldn't bear to look at them, is this why they wanted her gone just so they could do this? "I forgot Asuka's packet, I was just coming back to get it from my desk."
Shielding her eyes, she stepped around Rei while staring at the ground until she made her way to her desk and of course it was the one he was just sitting on. Not bothering to hide her disgust she groaned and quickly pulled the stapled pack of papers from inside and began to walk away but then just as she did her mind recalled that one-word Nathan had said under his breath.
And only now did she put two and two together.
Her hands falling limply from her face she looked over to them and saw Nathan, pale faced and sweating. She saw his chest and the way it shook as it collapsed and Rei with a look of fear and worry.
"You two… aren't… you guys aren't official yet. Are you? You're not still with Shinji are you Rei?"
The blue haired girl looked away, her hand covering her mouth trying to stifle her gags no doubt what once she loved was now just a poison reminding her of the betrayal, she was taking part in. "Hikari"
Nathan took a step forward, his voice wavering his eyes fighting back tears. "Please you can't tell Shinji about this, please."
Her stomach started to twist in knots, she couldn't bear to look at the two of them. How could they, how could the two of them be doing this to Shinji no less. Someone who was supposed to be their friend.
"I can't believe you two, how can you do this. He's your friend isn't he! If I knew you were going to do this Rei, I never would have told you to tell him how you felt."
"Do you mean that Hikari?"
Rei's small voice broke Hikari's heart, looking back now she noticed the small glances Rei had given him, the way her voice was when they talked in the changing room. The one day when they came in together to class at the same time, how much closer they seemed. How the two of them snuck off to have lunch under a tree, how he looked… happier with her around.
She gripped her head with both hands, on one hand she didn't want to hurt Shinji the way he handled himself and his shyness, it looked like he was hurting enough already. But now she had to be the one who pushed the two of them together and no doubt when he found out this would destroy him.
But would Rei have ever gotten the courage to tell the boy she really loved how she felt?
She did consider Rei a friend and she did want to see her happy but…
"No, I don't but… if you two have any self-respect you'll tell Shinji the truth about what's been going between you two behind his back."
"So, you won't tell him?" Rei asked.
"No, I won't it's not my place to tell but… until you two come clean to him and fix this. Don't bother talking to me… either of you." None of them had ever heard this amount of venom coming from Hikari, Rei had turned teary eyed as she looked to the ground disgusted with herself.
Hikari stormed over to her bag yanking it up she didn't stop until she was out the school, leaving the two stunned children in the homeroom. She didn't enjoy saying that, especially to Rei who seemed to have almost no friends beyond her and her two love triangle boys. And now the one friend who reached out to her essentially cut off all contact with her. She just focused on the sidewalk in front of her, keeping her eyes low until she had found her way over to Asuka's place.
Ringing the doorbell, she stood in silence, she swore that she wouldn't tell Shinji about Rei and Nathan's deeds but now that she was here, she felt her nerve starting to give. Just then the door opened revealing Asuka bundled up in a house robe, "Hikari? What're you doing here?"
Hikari hoped that she was able to hide her emotions, "I just wanted to drop these off for you and I wanted to see how you were doing." She held out the packet for Asuka to take who rolled her eyes and groaned at the prospect of having to do any amount of homework after she had just gotten over her illness.
"Ugh, are you serious you know you could have just 'lost' the paperwork I wouldn't have blamed you." She said snatching the paper and giving them a look over muttering how she was going to be murdered by the reading assignment.
"So, you're sounding better, think you'll be ready to come back to school soon?"
Asuka sniffed wiping her nose, "Maybe after another day or two, I still feel a little icky."
"Well I'm just glad you're getting better…" she looked at her watch seeing that it was getting late and her older sister Kodama would be getting home with her promise of dinner, but still no doubt her idea of dinner was just going to be take out from the first fast food restaurant that caught her eye.
Still it had been awhile since Kodama had been home, ever since that thing attacked the city during the festival it seemed she was spending more and more of her time at work. "Listen Asuka I've got to- "
"Do you want to come in? Just for a bit Hikari, please?"
The way she said that caught Hikari off guard, her voice seemed small and timid, it wasn't the usual loud and boastful voice Asuka had and only now did she notice the way her hair was. She had small bangs covering the corners of her forehead and her hair was tied in a short ponytail in the back, and under a small patch of bangs was a bandage, its gauze pad had the distinct dark smudge of blood.
Her eyes were small as well as her mouth, Hikari had never seen her like this it was as if she were afraid of something. "Sure Asuka, I've got time."
The two girls sat at the kitchen table sipping hibiscus tea, Hikari couldn't stop eyeing the bandage on Asuka's forehead, but she noticed how unnaturally quiet it was in the apartment, the only really making any noise was Pen-pen who looked beyond rundown, reeking of beer he gripped his head sipping his tea from a straw making soft groans.
But there was no sign of Shinji being home at all. "Asuka I don't mean to pry but what happened to your head?"
"Slipped in the shower." she said quickly almost as if she were trying to dodge the question. Looking down at the steam rising from the red liquid she asked meekly, "Asuka do you have any idea where Shinji is?"
She let out a huff, "No, he didn't show up after school today but who cares?"
Hikari wondered where he could possibly be, at least by not seeing him here she wouldn't feel tempted to blurt out what she saw.
"Hey Hikari…" Asuka's voice grew serious, looking up at her friend Hikari saw that Asuka was squirming in her seat, shifting nervously. "Do you ever have any nightmares?"
"Nightmares about what? I mean sure if I watch a scary movie or something. I remember when I saw pulse when I was little one night on tv and then I spent the next week and a half covering almost everything with redtape." She let out a halfhearted laugh trying to break the tension. But the look on Asuka's face showed that whatever nightmare she was talking about outclassed any stupid scary movie.
"Yeah I wish it was just some stupid movie I was afraid of." Asuka rubbed her stomach, she could almost feel the claws raking her insides, the teeth sinking into her flesh and ripping chunks out of her body. The tiny barbed hunks of flesh with needle like hooks slamming inside her body and ripping out her insides.
How all the things pinned her down and devoured her while she screamed. Lately it seemed that those dreams were the only ones that she was able to have, it was getting so bad to the point she actively tried to fight off sleep. But in her weakened state, it was almost but impossible to stay awake for the whole night.
"Well what kind of nightmares then Asuka?"
Asuka remembered what the voice would repeat, night after night after night to her. The things attacking NERV HQ, seeing Shinji, Rei and Nathan be torn apart, gored, disemboweled and dying in almost every conceivable way imaginable before she met the same fate. She looked at the steam rising from the red tea, her stomach twisting itself into knots because now all she could see what a cup full of blood.
"Nothing… never mind. It's stupid."
After that no matter how hard Hikari tried Asuka would hardly talk to her and even if she did it was just a quick one-word answer that she would hardly even be able to make out. Taking her leave, she made her way outside of the building leaving through the front entrance she saw Shinji walking towards the doors quietly with his head down and his earbuds in.
She paused, stopping to watch him walk by. His grey stormy eyes shimmering in the light staring down at nothing like they were painted on to his face. He walked past not even acknowledging her, she felt her heart skip a few beats as it rammed itself into the back of her throat. Maybe that was for the best, because when she saw him, she wasn't sure how she'd be able to hold her tongue.
Alone again she made her way to the train station and then back home not bothering to stop until she had made it past the door and found herself sitting at her kitchen table with her head slumped on the table in front of a greasy cold hamburger bag. All she could think about was how on earth could she have gotten into such a big mess, how did she get tangled up in someone else's lies. How could she be a part of something that was going to tear their circle of friends apart.
Something that would kill Shinji.
She closed her eyes silently cursing them, hating them for putting her in this position, hating herself for hating them. Hating herself for feeling happy and good that she pushed Rei into doing something that made her happy.
Not bothering to eat she just went to her room to work on her homework in the dim light of her lamp and the moonlight, after she made the last circle period and she laid her head back she felt her eyes close almost immediately and she dreamed of life before. Before that thing attacked the city, before Asuka and the others came to live in Tokyo back to when things were more… simple.
Rei walked behind Nathan through the city after they both left the school, not a second after Hikari left he stayed silent and just stared at the ground. With his hands in his pockets he shuffled along the streets, she wanted to talk with him about what the two of them would do or at least something thing, anything but she couldn't find the courage to make her voice heard. So, she just silently walked a few feet behind him like a shadow, just as he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and she almost bumped into him she barely noticed that his earbuds weren't even in.
"What's wrong?"
He nodded his head towards a small supermall, "We're running low on some stuff, and tonight… I'd like to give cooking you dinner a try. You mind if we stop in really quick?"
"You want to cook me dinner?"
"Yeah Rei, I mean you've cooked for me a few times I think it's about time I return the favor, right?"
She stood taken aback, she could feel her heartbeat start to slow down at she stared at him in the off yellow glow of the streetlamps, his short hair waved slightly in the breeze that blew past them. She nodded and replied with, "I'd- I'd enjoy that."
He gave her a small smile and walked in grabbing a shopping cart and walked off towards a bath supply store, she stood outside of the mall and placed her hand over her chest feeling her heart's vibrations. Wondering why she should be ashamed of wanting to keep this feeling but thinking of Shinji made it ache. "Why do you betray me like this? I just want to be happy with him, but people think Shinji and I are still together... why do you ache like this?" she asked herself quietly.
The door whooshed open and she saw Nathan kicking the shopping cart forward while resting his foot on the bottom bar, "Hey Rei, what's the hold up?" her hand dropped from her chest.
"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about… something." It didn't take him that long to guess what it was that she had on her mind. He shifted nervously behind the cart, "Well… hey they got a bookstore, you wanna check that out while I do the shopping?"
The thought of being able to look around an actual bookstore and see just to see how many books there were cheered her up a little, she looked to him and agreed to have him meet her thereafter. She walked in and followed the way the map directed her to, she walked past several clothing stores and other little shops with a large food court that took up two floors in the middle of the mall.
All around she saw other kids that were maybe around her age and some looked a little older, groups of them huddled around tables chatting with each other excitedly with shopping bags at their feet. She stopped in her tracks and stared at the groups of kids, each little group dressed in different fashions than the others with either darker or lighter clothing. Sportswear or dressed more formerly but still one thing they all shared was they all looked happy, no matter the social group everyone looked happy as if they belonged.
But one thing she noticed was there was no one group that looked like the one she belonged to. There were the kids dressed in all black like Nathan, the girls dressed properly with tight rigid movement like Hikari, the girls dressed in expensive looking clothing as if they were trying to draw attention towards them the way Asuka would often appear.
Boys with glasses and game devices in their hands with shirts covered in pop-culture artwork the way she would sometimes see Kenesuke, the boys dressed in track suits and jerseys like Toji would be, some boys dressed in plain clothing talking quietly amongst themselves away from the crowds like Shinji might. But none of those kids were all at one table, they were all with others that looked like them.
They were with their own kind, they didn't even seem to acknowledge one another in fact they seemed like they were trying to actively avoid or ignore the others' existence. So, if this was the way things were outside of school and Ms. Misato's apartment… how on earth could her and the others really be friends? Could they even co-exist?
But the most heart-breaking thing to her was, there was not one group or a single person that even remotely resembled her. Not one single being looked like her at all, not even a lone being sitting alone off somewhere away from eyesight. There was no one like her at all, even in a sea of groups of different people no one like her could exist.
She felt a slow hot trickle run down her face that ran down her cheek and fell off her chin landing at her feet, she turned around wiping the tear away from her face wanting to get away from the sight of the food court she walked into the first store that was in front of her and it was a jewelry store.
The bell chimed just as soon as she entered, and she hoped that her tears had stopped flowing by then. Just behind the counter she saw a small bob of hair walking from around the counter and then out popped a small elderly lady who could have not been much tall than four feet or so, she had her hair tied off tightly behind her head and a face full of so many wrinkles her eyes appeared to be shut.
"Hello dearie, how can I help you?"
"Help me?" Rei asked curiously walking over.
"Of course, that's why you came in after all, to see the beautiful jade jewelry I have for sell?"
The thought of jewelry never even occurred to Rei, she had seen other girls at school that wore small necklaces or earrings and often the necklaces were certain kanji characters or tiny lockets with something inside them.
But she never pictured buying, having or someone else buying her jewelry. She wouldn't know what to do with it once she even owned it, chances are it would probably sit some where on a shelf or inside a drawer gathering up dust.
"I'm sorry ma'am but… I don't really wear jewelry. I'm not even sure if I would like it, I don't see much occasion or reason for me to own any. I'm not even sure of a reason that would lead me to buying any jewelry."
The little old woman walked up to her and grasped both of her hands in hers, lightly tapping them she cooed. "Oh, no worry dear you needn't any special reason to buy anything nice for yourself. You don't even need a special occasion to buy or wear any, sometimes it just feels nice to wear it. But there is another reason for buying it."
Rei racked her mind trying to figure out this secret reason, but she was coming up blank.
"I'm sorry but I don't know that reason ma'am."
"Sometimes…" she began "It's a nice gesture you do for the ones you love, just to give them a reminder of how much they mean to you and nothing says that better than a piece of jade."
"Jade?"
The small lady let out a small laugh, "Yes, dearie jade. Not only is it a symbol of love that you can give to another, but it also gives the wearer peace of mind, heart and calm their soul."
Rei took her words in and walked up to the counter looking at the display of necklace pieces. "There is someone I… I love but he doesn't seem like a jewelry person and some of these I'm not sure if he'd like them."
The old woman walked up behind her, "Word of advice dear, when buying jewelry for men keep it simple and practical."
Rei leaned on the glass almost pressing her face against it, narrowing her eyes at the yellow, white, black, blue, red, orange and green pieces, searching for just the right one. Her eyes landed on a small circular one that resembled a donut, it was a beautiful deep green and it was just smaller than a 500-yen coin. "That one… I think he'd like that one." She said putting her finger on the glasses just above it.
Walking around the counter the lady piped up as she slid the glass open and took out the precious gemstone. "Ah good choice but you want to know how I know he'll love it?"
Rei had both of her hands on the glass, her heart leaping in her chest waiting for the lady's answer. "How?"
"Because it's a gift from you. You bought it because you love him." Taking it in her hands and setting it on a velvet cloth the lady took out a small box filled with samples of different cords, from simple cloth to thick and dark leathers.
"Now which cord?"
Rei furrowed her brow letting her fingertip drag over piece trying to imagine which one he'd enjoy hanging around his neck. She thought that since he liked darker colors, she'd get him a leather cord but none of them felt good to her touch. She closed her eyes briefly and saw him sitting on a bench with her under the sun and a tree that was letting down a waterfall of cherry blossom petals.
He was giving off a light laugh that warmed her like honey and was smiling at her, his hand tightly wrapped around hers both of them finally unafraid to show the world what they felt for one another. She felt her heart start to swell as soon as she saw what cord the jade stone hung from and her hand went to the center of her chest.
Her other hand followed in suit and she untied her bow, holding it limply between her right thumb and forefinger she asked in a small voice, "I know that this isn't an option, but can you use this one? It's just… this belongs to me like my heart and I'm hoping that this just reminds him how much he means to me. And reminds him how much I mean to him."
The small lady wiped a tear away from her eyes, and gave her a small "Okay, dearie, okay."
Taking both to the back of her store she combined the two pieces together, and not five minutes later she came back with the necklace, the red ribbon tied tightly around the jade piece end with two adjustable knots at the top. As the lady demonstrated to Rei how to adjust the height of the necklace Rei watched intensely seeing the length of the ribbon constrict and relax.
Rei handed the lady 2,500 yen and put the leather pouch with her gift in her bag she felt more relaxed and at ease. Even seeing the food court didn't bother her anymore, she continued on her path to the bookstore and just as she was outside it, some older girl probably in high school ran up to her and got her attention. "Hi, do you have a minute to talk with us about something veeeerrrrry important?" she pleaded in a high-pitched voice.
"I'm sorry but I have to meet my… someone. I have to meet someone in the bookstore." She replied pointing over her shoulder at the store behind her.
"Oh, c'mon it'll just take a minute." She took Rei's wrist lightly and pulled her over to a table where another girl sat at. You couldn't even see the table top it was covered in pamphlets and a massive bowl filled with tiny square foil packets.
"What's all of this?" she asked concerned at the two smiling girls who were just leaking excitable energy that was already sapping Rei of her own.
"Hi, I'm Kieko and you are?" the girl sitting down at the table shot out her hand towards her and Rei hesitantly took it and shook it, "Rei, Rei Ayanami." She replied.
"Well Rei I'm glad you decided to stop by- "
"But I didn't stop by, she dragged me her." She pointed at the other girl.
"Well you're here now that's the important thing." The dragger said.
"Yeah because we have something important to talk to you about. You're in middle school right, that outfit's from first municipal junior high right?"
Rei nodded back to her. The girl grabbed one of the pamphlets and handed it to Rei, "Well we all know what goes on there right? The third-floor romances and everything else."
"Third floor romances?"
"You don't have to be shy Rei, it's okay." The dragger patter her shoulder and Rei looked at the pamphlet the words "Teenage pregnancy and the things you need to know" was printed across the top of it. "With the way everything is… we know what you crazy kids get up to, I mean we've probably done the same things right Tomi?" she asked.
"Yeah but Rei we don't want to shame you or any other girls that choose to do this. We're just here from the high school to spread awareness about teen pregnancy and what you can do to avoid it. I mean waiting would be ideal but hey we're all human right?"
Human? Rei thought. "What are those?"
Kieko picked one of the shiny packets up, "This Rei is a condom and we are giving these out for free as part of Tokyo 3's plan to curb teenage pregnancy because believe it or not it's becoming a problem. Just another way for you to stay safe and protected."
Rei thumbed through the pamphlet and saw that they were indeed used for that act, she thought about the numerous times she had already bonded with Nathan, but they haven't had any kind of problems yet but still. Seeing all the images and blurbs of info this paper told her about casted some doubts in her mind. Maybe it'd be better if they used condoms, and they were free, but she was trying to figure out how many she would need or how many she'd be allowed to take.
"How many can I have?" she asked.
"As many as you need." Kieko replied.
With that Rei's hand reached into the bowl and stretching her hand fully out and grabbed such as massive handful of the tiny foil squares that both girl's eyes popped wide open and their jaws dropped, Keiko even dropped the condom wrapper in her own hands. Rei's hand was so full that she had to move slowly and couldn't even close her fist, or she'd risk spilling all of the packets. And just like rainfall they all clattered into her bag covering the leather pouch.
"You're going to use all of those?" Tomi asked.
"Yes, me and my… other half. We both like being together like this, it makes me warm inside and it makes him happy. And that makes me happy, happy that I'm connect to someone like that."
"Of course, it makes him happy, he's a guy." Tomi said.
"Oh, shut up Tomi, don't worry Rei I think it sounds sweet." Kieko said in her defense, Rei thanked both of the older girls for their help and made her way into the bookstore and just as she was about to start browsing, she heard him calling her. "Rei, you all done?"
She was happy to see him, but she had just gotten there and already the smell of books was starting to fill her nostrils, but she agreed that they'd leave once he met her there.
"Oh… well…" she let her voice trail off.
"Didn't find anything you liked yet?"
He asked giving her a soft look, "It's okay, we can stay here for a little while until you're ready to go." He said giving her a smile. "Thank you." She said softly.
She spent most of her time just walking up and down the aisles of bookshelves running her finger along their spines reading their titles trying to find any that called out to her. After she had built up her stack of thick leather-bound books the pair left and with Rei close by his side, she looked behind her to see the two girls waving goodbye to her smiling widely. With her books swishing by her leg she waved goodbye back.
The pair walked down the quiet and empty streets and before long she realized that he was struggling to keep up with her pace and his right leg was dragging along behind him. He seemed to be struggling with the weight of all the groceries he bought but he still pressed on acting as if nothing were wrong with him.
He even tried to hide those little groans from his aching knee, Rei slowed her own pace down not wanting him to over exert himself, she kept her head down when they were side by side but once she felt his shoulder bump into hers she looked back up at him and saw that he gave her a small tired smile.
Feeling her chest tighten she looked away out in front of them and saw a small park and not that far beyond them was a hill with a bench and a tree resting at the top. With her free hand she gripped his wrist and began to pull him in that direction, "Can we go up there? I think the two of us could use a quick rest, besides I'd like to look at the stars with you for a bit."
Trying his best to hide the pain his swollen knee was giving him he nodded to her and let her lead the way up the hill and just as they climbed to the top he collapsed groaning before he could even make it to the bench, putting his bags on the seat he rolled on to his back and gripped it firmly trying to massage it. "Ah, damn what the hell is wrong with you?" he muttered to it.
Sitting upright he gripped the area above and below it squeezing and rubbing it with his last bits of strength, he could feel the muscles already locking up and burning. Just then he felt Rei's small hands touch his own and begin to rub his leg alongside him.
"You shouldn't force yourself like this, you'll only make your injuries worse. Lie back and rest."
Not bothering to fight he landed on his back letting out a pained sigh as Rei rested on her knees beside him and massaged his leg, he could feel her warm touch through his pants and before he knew it the pain in his leg had become a small buzzing sensation. "Is that better?" she asked leaning over his face.
He nodded slightly, "Yeah, thanks. Y-you wanna lay down here next to me? Look at the stars?"
Her reply was simply to lay down beside him with her arms stretched out at her sides, the two stayed silent as they watched the stars slowly start to pop up in the night sky, the small distant little white dots that twinkled against a light blueish black inky soup with small streaks of violet and purple. Rei saw in silent amazement as all the stars glimmered in the sky, how some seemed to be dim and other burned bright and close by.
So close she thought she could almost reach out and touch them pluck them out of the sky and put them in her pocket, but then she felt a small cold sensation in her hand that ran up her arm, she couldn't help it she let out a small gasp. Looking down she saw Nathan had inched his pinkie finger to her own and that they were lightly touching.
And as her heart fluttered, she saw him wrap his own finger around hers. Feeling her face burn bright she released his pinkie and gripped his hand intertwining their fingers and scooted closer to him. He broke their silence when he finally said, "I'm so tired of all this."
Rei looked over to him and asked, "Tired of what?"
Sighing he rolled over unintentionally on top of her. He let out a gasp when he realized the position they were in, "S-s-sorry." He rested his knee by her hip and was about to remove himself from her, but she stopped him gripping his arms, she asked again. "Tired of what?"
She brought up a single hand to his face and stroked it. He returned the gesture leaning in closer to her, "I'm tired of hiding what I feel for you. Tired of the sneaking around and hoping no one sees us, like you said before I just want to be able to stand in the sun with you and let people know what we mean to one another."
He let out a sigh, "I'm just so tired of hurting Shinji, I'm tired of doing something that hurts him but… feels good for me." He had started to play with her hair and was now kissing her neck. "Nathan." Rei said flatly.
He stopped himself realizing what he was doing, he rolled over off her and turned his face away. "Sorry." He apologized again, but he didn't feel sorry how many times had he apologized already for doing this. What was the point of saying sorry if he was just going to do it all over again?
He felt her grip his shoulder and turn him back towards her, "I'm tired of this too. I'm tired of feeling as if you're being torn from me. But Shinji… what would he think? He's sensitive to pain, I want to tell him. I want him to know I've found happiness but if he realizes he's not the source of it. I don't know what he'd do."
"So, when should we tell him and the others? The longer we wait the worse it might get. They all might just freeze us out."
"We just have to wait just a little longer that's all, I just don't want to hurt him. I still love you." She climbed atop of him again, the moon resting behind her head made her glow, leaning her head down she kissed him so lightly on the lips that they barely touched. Staring deep into his eyes, she kissed him again pressing her lips against his with more force gripping the back of his head.
His hands ran up and down her back, taking turns between gripping her shoulders and squeezing her butt. Both of them let out a shared moan and she lightly bit his lip and he returned the gesture, keeping them connected she reached out to her bag and started to dig through it she dug deeper and deeper into it feeling every single thing in it and then she pulled it out.
A small leather pouch, breaking her lips away from his she sat up right holding the pouch close to her chest. Propping himself up with his elbows he pointed to the pouch, "Hey what's that?"
"It's a gift for you… I'm not sure if you'll like it but I got it for you, so you'll remember me. Remember what you mean to me."
She overturned it and let the jade piece fall into her hand, tossing the pouch aside she picked up the bow by the end and let the necklace dangle in her forefinger and thumb. "It's jade, it's supposed to calm your mind and soul, but it's also supposed to… give feelings of love." She opened up the red bow and draped it over his head guiding it down his neck until the jade piece rested in the center of his chest.
"And the bow? Wait…" he noticed that her school was missing, "Rei, this isn't yours is it? I mean can't you get in trouble for this?"
"It's okay… the bow is just a piece of me. And knowing that you'll always carry with you, that it holds this thing around your neck and is near your heart makes me feel warm. Here in my heart." she said pointing to the center of her chest. "Do you like it?" she asked hopefully.
He picked up the jade piece in his fingers and felt its coldness, and the old heat that the red bow carried with it, letting out a small puff of air out through his nose he looked back up to her and smiled. "Yeah Rei I love it. I swear I'll always keep this with me."
Slipping it into his shirt he sat up propping her on his knees and hugging her tight, burying his face into her shoulder he rubbed his face against her chest trying to listen to her heart. She pulled him into her closer, but there it was again that small sharp pain that ran across her scalp like a knife. That splinter that dug itself deeper into her brain, the question that she had been begging to ask him since the night they had bonded together in the dark and he had said those sweet words to her.
Letting out a small shaky sigh feeling her heart swell she whispered into his ear.
"What would you do if I died?"
Rei sat at the dinner table working on today's homework while Nathan stood in the kitchen squinting at small recipe notecard while he watched over the curry that was on tonight's menu. She sat there tapping her pencil's eraser against the table in boredom, she had already finished her assignment in the first fifteen minutes since they had been home but…
Her mind was still distracted. He didn't answer her back under the tree, he just went silent and pulled her in closer. She tried to decipher what he meant by it, there were a million things that he could have said but didn't.
She wasn't sure what he would do if she did die or whatever her fate was once Commander Ikari had her fulfill her purpose. He had said there was no one else he could ever love but still the thought of seeing him alone in the world again made her heart splinter. She wondered how he would go on if she was gone or if the situation was reversed, already she felt funny.
Not in the same way she did when they united their bodies and souls together, she felt stretched or thin. Like parts of her soul were being ripped away from her into different directions and she was going to slowly fade away. What would she do if he died? She wondered to herself, she had read books about how some animals that mate for life but once they lose a mate they seem to give up on life and wait to die. They just grow tired of being separated from the other half of their soul.
She wondered if that would happen to her. She didn't even notice him walk over with her bowl of curry, "Here you go, vegetarian just like you like it." He said sitting across from her.
"Oh, thank you." She said setting her things aside bringing the bowl closer to her, she took a small scoop of it and brought it to her mouth, it was… "It's okay."
He gave a small nervous laugh, "I guess cooking is just one thing that's not gonna be in my forte."
He lightly picked at his food, mostly just moving it around. He tried to keep a brave face, but she could tell that he was hiding something, no matter how hard she tried he wouldn't make eye contact with her. Maybe asking him that was too far, perhaps thinking of a situation like that was too uncomfortable for him. Soon he stopped picking at his food and laid his spoon down and slid under the table, she heard him crawling under it towards her.
"What are you doing?" she asked. Then she felt his hands slid up to her waist.
Hooking his fingers into her panties he pulled them down and simply replied, "Returning the favor." And once she felt his touch, she let out a gasp.
Rei sat by herself on the balcony, on a chair she was curled up her knees covering her bare chest, she looked over her shoulder and saw Nathan sleeping deeply on the couch, his black boxers half pulled off his waist. She returned her attention out towards the geo-front again, she was listening. Cicadas and crickets that's all she heard in the still and empty night, whether they were real or not was anyone's guess.
She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing down, focusing on shutting everything out and then like someone snapping their fingers in one quick instant all the noise in the background faded and it was silent, even his slight asthmatic breathing was shut out. And then it felt like before, before him and before Shinji. It was just another one of those nights that she spent back in her old apartment alone, in the dead part of the city where everything was quiet.
Where it felt like there was nothing else in this world besides her, how lonely she felt and how hollow. The only thing she could feel was her hollow heart beating in her chest, her breathing slowed down and she covered her ears in an attempt trying to hide the lone heartbeat. But then she felt two arms wrap around her chest, "Hey sorry I fell asleep back there. You okay?"
She pulled herself deeper into his arms, "Yes, fine. Everything's fine." She lied.
"You wanna head upstairs to bed?"
She nodded, standing up she stood before him just a few inches short of his own height clad only in her panties, she leaned forward into him and hugged him, her bare chest against his. She could feel his heart beating against her own chest, taking her hand in his he led her upstairs where he fell asleep resting his head above her heart.
She stayed up just a little while longer stroking his hair, holding him close to her. In the moonlight she saw that true to his word, he was still wearing the necklace. She wanted to fall asleep with a smile, she wanted to be happy that he liked her gift. How close he was to her at the moment, how good he had made her feel under the table. How the only thing he longed for was to be able to walk out with her in the light and show the world how he felt about her.
But all she could think about was how lonely and cold she felt when he was back home in America and she wondered how he would feel if she ever left him.
The next morning just as the pair were getting dressed, they heard a knocking downstairs, just as Nathan finished buttoning his shirt, he asked Rei cocking an eyebrow, "Were we expecting anyone?"
Rei silently shook her head and the two walked downstairs. Opening the door, they were surprised to see Shinji, Asuka and Misato standing in front of them. "Morning you two!" Misato said in a chipper tone.
"Good morning Ms. Misato." Rei replied, "Good morning Shinji… Asuka."
Nathan just gave the three a silent nod wondering why they were all here, normally when it was time to head off to school it would just be him and Rei, no one else. So why were they all here now? Was this going to be a new regular thing?
"Why are all you guys here?" he asked but not watching his tone it might have come off ruder than he intended going off of Asuka's answer but then again, maybe she just wasn't a morning person.
"Are you seriously asking me that? You should be happy enough that we even stopped by on the way to pick you guys up." she walked through the door planting her hand in the center of Nathan's chest giving it a hard shove, pushing him out the way where she started to snoop through the kitchen. "Seriously nothing to eat. What's wrong with you two?" she snarked.
"I don't like breakfast foods." Nathan muttered walking past her lightly bumping her out the way closing the cabinets that she opened up, where Rei piped up with her own answer. "I'm not experienced cooking any breakfast foods."
"C'mon even Shinji knows how to cook an egg first!"
"I don't like eggs."
Asuka just rolled her eyes and huffed, "Can we just get this day going?" she kept brushing her hair that was covering a small fresh scar on her forehead, Nathan squinted at it wondering what had happened. When Misato sighing and shaking her head at the red head's demands nodded her head towards the door. "You're right Asuka no sense in putting this off any longer."
"Sorry but put off what any longer?" Nathan asked.
"Well I had wanted it to be a surprise but Asuka…" she said putting heavy emphasis on the girl's name, "demanded to know so I guess it's only fair the two of you know as well. Today you four lucky kids are getting new plug suits. Top of the line, they're going to help you with your synchronization and hopefully give you extra protection."
"Do we get to choose the colors? I kinda forgot to ask." Shinji said rubbing the back of his head nervously, but his eyes were on Misato. They were instead bouncing off of Nathan and Rei, noting the small distance they had between the two of them.
"Sorry Shinji but no, the suits are now the same color schemes of your EVA units. Don't fret though I'm sure you'll look handsome in purple." She playfully tussled his hair.
"Ugh, Ms. Misato." He groaned turning bright red trying to fight his way out from under her grasp on for her to give chase and pull him close to her body to continue to fluff his hair in every direction. Asuka narrowed her eyes at the boy who was now crossing his legs tightly and trying to cover his face, she silently called him an idiot in her mind before pushing past everyone calling out behind her.
"Let's go already!" she yelled as she made her way to the locker rooms.
Shinji looked at himself in the mirror and eyed the glossy new purple plug suit, with patches of green, dull yellow and black on his knees, and forearms. There were two small bumps on his shoulders that looked like they were tiny pauldrons.
The more he eyed the suit he noticed how the chest piece seemed to be made of a heavier polymer like material, he even had forearm gauntlets and shin guards. The suit looked more like combat armor from a science fiction movie. "At least they didn't add the horn." He muttered.
"You don't like the new suits?" Nathan asked from behind the set of lockers.
"It's not that it's just… did they have to make it look so much like the EVA's armor?"
Sighing he walked around the lockers and learned against them looking at Shinji, his own new suit was slick and shiny like oil with orange and bright crimson coloring. And true to his EVA's design his armor looked like it was made of razor blades, with more pointed edges jutting out.
"You're not the one wearing this but hey I like it so…" he gave a quick shrug before eyeing his hand opening and closing his fist, he noticed how pieces of the polymer armor seemed to pop out with tiny sharp curved arrowhead points. And his fingers had tiny sharp ending tips, "At least they made the cuffs smaller." He said finishing his thought before turning around.
But Shinji couldn't help but ask, "Hey what's that thing around your neck?"
Pointing his finger to the center of Nathan's chest where the small green jade donut dangled, hanging around his neck with the help of a red bow ribbon.
Picking it delicately with his thumb and forefinger he held it up, "This oh, nothing just a necklace I picked up at a shop. Now let's go they're probably waiting for us." Turning around quickly Nathan walked off muttering something about how could they have forgotten pockets on the suits.
Shinji just stood there thinking about the necklace and what it was hanging off of, thinking of it he noticed that Rei wasn't wearing her ribbon that was mandatory with her uniform but they had come pretty earlier maybe she just didn't have time to put it on right?
"What pervert made these outfits?" Asuka groaned looking in the mirror, posing and turning her hips eyeing the new tight red suit she was in. "You can almost see everything!"
The suit was squeezing her chest tight and no matter what she did to fiddle with the wrist cuffs there was no making her suit comfortable. But she did like the upgrades to it, the more armored pieces the shiner look to it at well as that weird D3o gel stuff that lined the inside of the suit that was supposed to help regulate temperatures and dull the pain they could get from being thrown around inside the plug.
She heard the click and whoosh of compressed air and Rei walked around giving her a quick glance before walking away in her new white and blue suit, surprisingly her suit was the least armored. And instead of sharp points or ninety degree points her armor and pieces were more rounded and smoother, the complete opposite of what Nathan's armor looked like.
She eyed the albino girl's rear and chest seeing how the new suit seemed to make her thin waist stand out more and even lifted up her butt and made her smaller breasts look bigger. She stopped in the middle of the room and asked. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing! I'm looking at nothing, what are you looking at?" Asuka yelled feeling her face burn in embarrassment, "I'm looking at the door." She replied back softly.
"Go on just get out of here!" Asuka yelled at Rei, who quietly obeyed and walked away, Asuka returned her attention to the mirror calling herself stupid for ever wanting to be friends with that emotionless plank of wood. She turned off to the side and slid her hand down her stomach and grabbed at her sides.
All she could think about was Rei's smaller frame, Asuka might've had a shapelier form than her but why then did it seem that Shinji and Nathan seemed to eye her more than herself. What did that doll have that she didn't? Frowning she decompressed her suit and eyeballed her stomach again, putting her suit back on she walked off to the toilets and began to slide one of her fingers down her throat.
When all the pilots were in the waiting area, Shinji noticed a small look Rei would occasionally shoot Nathan and the one he would return. Their heads were tilted down, but they would still eye each other and share a small smile. Rei would rub her arms or her stomach nervously like she had a chill, and he would shift nervously.
They all heard the clicking of heels and saw Ritsuko walking towards them, her nose pointed towards her clipboard looking through her data sheets muttering under her breath. Looking up at the children she pushed her glasses up, "Good I see you're all adjusting to the new suits nicely enough any complaints?"
"These suits are too flashy! Everyone's gonna be able to see my… to see my you know!" Asuka held her arms outward showing the doctor how tight the suit was, to which she just sighed. "The suits are gonna have to be tighter, that way the D3o can help absorb and physical shocks and it's gel liner can regulate your body temps. But hey nothing's perfect any other complaints?" she said rolling her eyes. Asuka took a breath in ready to ramble on no doubt just to be heard only for Nathan to cut her off with, "The suits still don't have pockets."
Ritsuko narrowed her eyes and scribbled on her papers, "You can't wear that for today's test." She said using her pen to point at the necklace dangling around Nathan's neck.
"Why not?"
"We need to limit any background interference as much as possible, it'll have to be taken off before you can go through with your testing."
"Why? I wear my glasses in the plug and Asuka wears her hair clips and stuff."
"Those were specially built for you kids, so that way they wouldn't interfere with the readings now go on and take it off we'll wait here until its off."
He gave an angry sigh and flung his hands in the air, Shinji noticed that Rei's small smile disappeared and how sad she looked, it looked like someone just stomped on her chest. "Hey Nathan… maybe just take it off?" he suggested.
"Go on you idiot you're holding us up!" Asuka screeched grabbing his shoulder which he flung off aggressively and she backed up a look of fear in her eyes, "Don't tell me what to do Asuka! Fine! Let me go put it in my locker."
He walked off back to the lockers, pulling the necklace over his neck and keeping it in one palm, Ritsuko narrowed her eyes at the boy as he walked off and took more notes. Rei's eyes were alarmingly wide and her hands near her chest, Shinji put a hand on Asuka's shoulders trying to calm her down, Nathan's outburst even scared him a little.
"You okay Asuka?" he asked to which she brushed off his shoulder.
"It's nothing, he's just an ass."
They all waited until he came walking back fiddling with his wrist cuff, "Well? Daylight's burning let's just get this over with." he said looking at the floor raising his eyebrows as he walked past everyone.
Ritsuko and Misato watched the children on the monitors, Shinji had a furrowed brow, Asuka had her eyes squeezed tightly shut focusing all her energy concentrating while the two secret love birds sat back in their chairs calmly.
"Hmm, Shinji looks like he's improved he's sitting at 64 percent." Misato mused.
"Yes, but look at this." Ritsuko's fingers ran along the keyboard pulling up Shinji's latest data. "Here sure he's made it up to 64 but see these spikes… his focus is off. Something is messing with his concentration annnnnd now he's at 48 percent."
Misato furrowed her brow and wondered what could be eating at him, at home she had already begun to notice that he was spending more time alone in his room, which no doubt was normal for a teenage boy but whenever she would spy on him he would just be laying in his bed on his side facing the wall. "How're Rei and Nathan doing?"
A smile grew on Ritsuko's face "I was wondering when you'd ask me about them. Bring up the data for pilots 01 and 06."
Hyuga did as she asked and in seconds on the holograph both of their still faces popped up along with their data, both were sitting at 72 percent perfectly, from the moment the testing had started to that very instant both graphs matched perfectly with no sign of difference. Even their heart rates and psych graphs rose and fell at the same time.
"That's- that's…"
"Unheard of almost mathematically impossible yet there it is."
"They're in perfect synch. But no this has to be a glitch or something."
"Fine if you think it's that." Ritsuko cleared her voice getting ready to give orders but a rapid beeping stole her attention, "What that can't be. Asuka's leveling off at 32 percent." Ritsuko's confused tone worried Misato who saw that the red head girl was shivering or trembling in her plug tightly gripping her controls.
"She's the lowest of the bunch no way she'd be able to pilot based on that."
Rubbing her head Misato sighed, just her luck when one thing goes right something else goes wrong. "Anything we can do to fix this?" she groaned.
Before she could react Ritsuko spoke over the comms to the pilots, "Alright everyone we're gonna change things up a bit you're all still nowhere where we need you to be. But Nathan it turns out that you're at the highest rate congrats. So, here's what we're gonna do- "
"What do you mean he's at the highest?" Asuka shouted.
"What can I tell you Asuka his synch ratio has always been impressive, maybe now he's unlocking his true potential… wish I could say the same about you." Misato glared at Ritsuko who held up her finger and cut the comm link.
"What're you doing?!"
"You don't get it Misato, Asuka's the kind of person who once you put down and try to break down gets mad and then her results shoot up. Her anger and competitive nature might be the only thing that's gonna get her to be in synch with anyone of them."
Asuka had fallen silent and was staring down at her feet her shoulders shaking as she seethed with anger. "Shinji you doing okay but there's always room for improvement and Rei disappointing you are nowhere near your average synch rate."
"Sorry ma'am" Rei said softly.
"We'll just have to do this the old-fashioned way. Nathan we'll raise your plug depth see if you can't surpass your ratio manually, the rest of you we'll sink and see if that can't boost your scores."
Every one of them except Asuka gave a slight nod, and before each of them knew it they felt their chairs moving. Asuka just gritted her teeth and shut her eyes, concentrating with every fiber of her being. She imagined piloting unit 02, feeling herself flying through the air and running through the city ready to cut down another angel. "Please, please, please, please." She kept saying over and over.
Nowhere near my average… I'm a failure. Rei sunk her head forward she felt a tightness in her chest and her face burned but not out of love or embarrassment but sadness, she could feel her eyes trembling as she realized that she failed her duties.
If she couldn't fulfill them what point was there in her existing. There it was again that hollow, empty feeling. She sank further into her chair, she just wanted to close her eyes forever. Her chest continued to tighten, and she felt a single tear escape her eye, she felt like she was breaking. And she wasn't sure she could go on after everything, the physical pain, being unit 00 when it went berserk. The strain she felt piloting the EVA like something was trying to pull her out from her body.
Seeing Shinji and Nathan get hurt, going behind Shinji's back and betraying his feelings. Not being able to fully embrace her heart, she felt as if any second she would collapse in on herself… it didn't use to be like this. Back before everything nothing felt like it hurt her or hurt for long anyways, but she also couldn't feel things.
Or at least know what those feelings meant, her hands drifted to her head she was so tired. She ripped the headset off her head and covered her face, but then just before her chest felt like it was going to explode out of her body, she thought for a second she heard his voice.
"Rei…"
"Rei…"
"Rei…"
She heard his voice calling out to her, she let out a small sigh "Nathan."
A smile grew on her face as she felt warmness overtake her body and she stretched back into her chair as a smile grew on her face and her breathing became heavy. She felt his hand on her cheek and all the weight left her body, she felt his body press against hers and for a brief moment she could almost even hear his heartbeat.
Lup-dup, lup-dup, lup-dup
The plug all around her began to glow vibrantly and whirl with activity as a high-pitched noise began to flood her ears. "You're with me in here aren't you?" she said softly to herself.
"You were always in there… in my heart I just had to meet you."
Misato's eyes were wide as she saw the graph, "A second signal inside her plug?"
Ritsuko sat smiling holding a cup of coffee to her face, "And check whose it is."
Squinting at the monitors she saw that the tiny minuscule pixel that separated them and those vital signs and synch rates were… "Nathan's?"
"Yes, and the strange thing is that wasn't there before once she composed herself his exact bio-readings appeared out of nowhere. And they both broke 101 percent and he's at the very top of the plug depth, and her readings are dead center in his data."
"What does this all mean?" Misato asked wildly.
"It means that we can move further with the secret American project well one of them anyways." She said smirking as she sipped her black coffee, sitting it aside she lit a cigarette and took a drag. "Oh, look Asuka's at 33 percent good for her." She gave a long sigh, "I think we can call it we have the data we need."
As soon as the testing was done and the children were let out Asuka ran off to the lockers not wanting any of her fellow pilots to even look at her, Shinji saw that Nathan was wearing a small prideful smirk on his face, no doubt happy that he got the top synch rate for that day. He sat on the small platform watching Nathan hop off the last two ladder rungs before Rei walked up to him, he could almost see her blushing face from where he was.
Her hands were close to her chest and she smiled at him, shuffling her feet she said something to him to which he nodded and smiled back, scratching the back of his neck before looking both ways. He gestured with his head towards the far exit and then both of them walked out the far end side by side.
Shinji crept after them trying to find out where they could have possibly gone, by the time he arrived there he could only try to follow them by the echoing of squeaking footsteps but no matter what direction he ran to there was nothing there but empty hallways and what seemed to be infinite unmarked doors.
His heart raced as he darted everywhere trying to find the sources of the footsteps but then he heard silence followed by the whooshing of a door, and then nothing he lost them. All he could do was slump his back against the wall and cover up his eyes and try to control his hyperventilating that made it feel like a bomb had gone off in his chest.
"What are we doing here?" Rei asked Nathan who convinced her to walk with him to a supply closet. "I wanted to show you something." He replied smiling slyly, locking the door and then turning around he decompressed his suit the polymer chest piece snapped in half and hung on one of his shoulders. He set it aside and began to wiggle out of his suit showing off his chest.
Blushing Rei took her wrist in one hand and decompressed her suit much to his surprise, "What're you doing?" he asked.
"Oh well I thought… I thought you wanted…"
"Keep your suit on." He replied shyly as he struggled to take out one arm, she did as she was told and clicked her wrist cuff again and when she looked up at him his arms were behind his back tying the sleeves around his waist.
"I just wanted to show you this." Holding up his right hand he showed her that the red ribbon was tied around his wrist and hand, the jade donut piece rested in the middle of his palm.
"You kept it?" she asked feeling a little teary eyed.
"Yeah, I said I'd keep it with me, right? A promise is a promise."
A smile grew over her face as she tackled him with outstretched arms pulling him in tight, "Gyah." He cried out as they tumbled around in the closet knocking boxes and small cleaning bottles around off the shelves. Resting in the middle of the floor he stared up at her, she had one hand planted firmly over his heart and was looking deep into his eyes.
Both of them were letting out small heavy breaths, resting his arms on her elbows and running them up and down her suit brought her face down to his and tilting his head kissed her. Through the soft wet sloppy kiss Rei let out small moans before she pulled her burning lips away from his. "I felt you back there."
"Back where?" he gasped out.
"In the plug, I felt bad… but then it felt as if you were there with me. Embracing me, warming my heart." she smiled at him, resting her head on his chest she felt her face grow hot as she listened to his racing heartbeat. "I heard this noise in there with me. You calmed me, thank you."
He didn't know how to respond, all he did was wrap his arms around her tighter and pulled her closer to his body, even though he felt his chest burning his legs felt so cold. "Hey Rei, can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"Could you not come back to our place until after dark? It's just… I want to plan a surprise for you."
"What kind of surprise?" she asked curiously.
"The point of a surprise is that you don't know what it is." He said coolly looking at her, she was resting her chin on the center of his chest and he began stroking her hair. She gave him a small nervous smile, "A surprise? Do you think I will like it?"
"I hope you will."
She crawled up on him until they were face to face, "Do I still have your heart?"
He nodded slowly to her, resting his hands on her waist he could still feel her shuddering under his touch and feel the heat of her skin. "Then I'm sure that I will love it." She said before closing her eyes and gripping the red ribbon around his neck bringing his lips up to hers.